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Friday, 6 April 2012

image for High speed rail link 3 ready by 2075
"If the breaks fail, we're going to Northern Ireland and it won't be pretty."

The government has given the green light to the HS3 project that will see trains travelling from London to Dublin in under 30 minutes.

The all new trains will be fitted with custom made nuclear reactors that will pump out nearly 2 million horse power to the front wheels giving a top speed of about 4000mph or approximately one mile per second.

The front running operator 'Costcane' said that the first sonic-boom will take place under the chilterns and will feel like a very mild earthquake. However, as it approaches the space-time continuum it has a novel solution to avoid burst eardrums and smashed windows.

"About 2 miles south of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll- gogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch, the train will launch out over the Irish Channel, reaching a height of 80,000 feet before landing on a mile wide ramp near Dublin - to allow for crosswinds."

Safety campaigners have voiced concerns though, claiming that a rail obstruction as small as a grain of salt could see homes flattened as much as 30 miles away and nuclear fallout that could render Wales impotent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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