Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Topics: Fast Food

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

image for Pink Slime On The Menu At Fast Food Joints
Ya Want Some Fries With Your Pink Slime??

New York, NY-- Fast-food giants have something new to offer their customers. It's called Pink Slime, and it's about to revolutionize the way Americans eat. Pink Slime can be served at breakfast, lunch or dinner and it will soon be the favorite food of millions of people.

Pink Slime has been around for many years. Beef companies have been using it as a 'filler' to add bulk to their product. It's made from connective tissue, sinus glands and eyeballs. It's then ground up into a revolting mess and then has ammonia added to it. This gives it a nice pink color. Anyone who has eaten a fast-food hamburger has already eaten Pink Slime.

Instead of hiding Pink Slime, retailers plan to bring it out of the closet and offer it to their customers. It will be served in paper cups, much like soft drinks or milkshakes. It can then be either slurped or eaten with a spoon.

Those who have consumed Pink Slime say it is like drinking a roast beef sandwich.

"It was sort of disgusting at first, sort of like swallowing someone's mucus." said Loretta Ebonics, a regular customer. "It's like eating sausage, you really don't want to think about how they made it." she commented.

Another outlet intends to add sugar to their version of Pink Slime, and offer it as a dessert.

"It has such a nice color, almost like pink cotton candy!" said Ronald, CEO. "Pink Slime just might be the biggest thing since ice cream, as long as you don't mind the snotty texture.' he said.

When asked if he thought that Pink Slime might be revolting, Ron had a quick reply:

"Americans are just like dogs, they'll eat anything you put in front of them!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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