Written by Aakash
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Topics: Death

Thursday, 29 March 2012

The owner of a small Chinese restaurant business, Mr.Wang Haichiko, had been fighting a takeover of his business by the restaurant giant Little Caesars Pizza, for more than 4 Months now. He had been making losses in his business and was slowly running out of money.

The 63 year old man finally called Mike Ilitch, the private owner of Little Caesars Pizza, to settle the matter once and for all. After a long series of negotiations put forward by both sides, a decision was made. A thumb fight was to be held between the two.

The following conditions were laid down. During the thumb fight, each opponent's unused arm was to be tied behind his back, to avoid any form of cheating. An official referee, pre-approved by either sides was to be appointed to make sure that the competition was not botched.

If Mike won the competition, Mr.Wang would have to sign over his restaurant property to Mike. But, if Mr.Wang won, Mike would have to write him a cheque(check) for an amount equal to the net worth of the Chinese restaurant.

Two days later, on the eve of 29th March, a stage was set for a huge face-off between the two. Posters were hung on walls, friends and families had gathered to witness the event. The participants were given motivational speeches by their respective coaches.

The coach of Mike was heard saying, "It all comes down to this. All your hard-work and exercises for building finger-muscles by operating on your office keyboard, is finally going to pay-off. Future generations will remember this day as THE DAY when Mike Ilitch defeated his nemesis in the greatest thumb-fight of them all. History will be written tonight. Fight hard, Fight smart, and remember to pay me for my services."

In another corner, a nervous Mr.Wang was being given a speech by his coach. For lack of a translator at the time, his speech cannot be mentioned.

Finally the moment of truth arrived. A bell was heard and the two participants were asked to sit in chairs on either sides of a coffee table. Hands were shaken, mouthguards were put in and the left arms of both participants were safely tied behind their backs. Finally the thumb fight got underway.

Both participants tried hard to lock each others' thumbs under their own and hold it till the referee completed a 10-count. But for a long time, neither could hold it long enough. Sweat formed gradually on the brows of both men and trickled down their noses and cheeks and finally dropped to the floor from their chins. Friends and families standing around cheered them in slow motion. Dogs in the neighborhood stopped barking, the wind ceased to blow and the clock on the wall stopped ticking as the participants kept their eyes locked at each other, and tried to end the fight with a win.

Suddenly, Mr.Wang's eyes turned wide, looking totally horrified. His face grew paler and paler. He tried hard to free either of his hands. But both were secured tightly, one with a rope tied to his back, and the other engaged in the fight. After struggling a bit, the old man finally collapsed to the ground. The audience began to shout and the referee began blowing his whistle. Chaos followed. A paramedic standing nearby,just in case, ran in to help. After feeling his pulse for a second, he pronounced Mr.Wang dead.

A further investigation into the matter was conducted. Apparently, Mr.Wang had died due to Asphyxia. He had accidentally swallowed and choked on his mouthguard.

Mr.Wang's only son, Chang, sat by his dead father and stared at Mike with vengeful eyes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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