Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 23 March 2012

image for Bang goes that World Bank CEO's job nomination...
Gorbuntsov was targeted at close range near his Isle of Dogs kennels...

London - It has emerged tonight that Russian banker German Gorbuntsov who was submachinegunned down outside an Isle of Dogs apartment block this week may have been a candidate for the forthcoming top job at the World Bank.

Reports this evening said the only two other contenders in the loop are Nigerian finance minister Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala and ex-Colombian former finance minister and development economist José Antonio Ocampo.

Okonjo-Iweala, 69, apparently honed some awesome email spamming techniques while CEO of the First Nigerian Phishing Bank of Timbuctoo, invaluable experience for the World Bank position.

Ex-FARC specialist Ocampo is an old hand himself when it comes to global money transactions connected to the narco-pharma division of the Non-Aligned Crack Barons Association of South America.

Both men have been reported to be President Obama's second string choices for the top hob for which disgraced ex-RBS chief exec Fred Goodwin is considered 'beyond the pale'.

However Goodwin may be called on to provide personal references to all three post applicants in view of his superior track record in losing vast quantities of public cash.

Candidates are to undergo a gruelling selection process in London next month which, after this week's Isle of Dogs drama, will include precautionary issue stab vests and bullet-proof underwear.

Whoever wins the prestigious position will be in charge of trillions of dollars of the world's moolah, while the runner up may be invited to apply for the Vatican's newly advertised position of God's Banker 2.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn is also 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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