Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 23 March 2012

image for Microsoft's Pig Bombed by Angry Birds from Space
"Ariouuuuuuuuuusssssssss"

Unless you are an Angry Birds game fan, this headline will be of no use to you, but owners of the Angry Birds franchise have said "no" to offering their new "Space" game version on Microsoft mobile devices.

Making the business decision to stick to Apple and Android platforms, the Angry Birds management team feels that they are honoring their commitment and relationship to those phone and tablet users that helped make the game a hit. "We just think Microsoft came late to the party, and then didn't bother to bring anything for the snack table", says Angry Birds project manager, Steve Beermy, desperately looking for a party analogy to explain the business decision.

"Apple and Android are dudes you can count on in a pinch, always prepared to split the tab during design, willing to be a designated driver when it comes to product testing, and ready with a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue to help their partners celebrate a successful launch", said Beermy. The party references continued.

Microsoft had no comment about the Angry Birds announcement, but insiders at the company's mobile products team say that a rush development project is underway to create a similar game for Microsoft mobile devices. Tentatively titled "Annoyed Raptors", birds of prey will be launched from cannons towards wooden structures that are protected by mutant Opossums with shotguns.

"Yeah, kind of a rip off", says Beermy. "That's like Budweiser rushing to market with a 55 calorie beer after Miller announced MGD 64. Dude, please".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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