Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Thursday, 15 March 2012

image for Apple To Launch iRobot On April 1st
Something New Coming From Apple

New York, NY-- The Apple Company will unveil its newest product in just a few weeks--the iRobot. The robot is based on the writings of Isaac Asimov and is a science-fiction dream come true. The new product is expected to revolutionize the world.

The iRobot is a humaniform robot with a positronic brain. It looks exactly like an adult human being. iRobots come in both sexes, and will do anything their owner wants. The iRobots will work their owners jobs, clean their houses, cook their food and even have sex with them at night. They are always in a good mood and exist only to please their owners.

Besides their more mundane abilities, the iRobots are also telepathic. The iRobots can change their owners moods and make them very content and relaxed every day of their lives.

The iRobots will be sold at Apple stores around the world, and are surprisingly inexpensive. An iRobot only costs $19.99. Customers are expected to eventually have dozens of them around the house.

Ironically, the only downside to the iRobots is their total perfection. They make the average human being seem dirty, stupid and completely worthless. The Apple Company plans to address this in 2013 when they introduce their iPodPeople model to the world. The iPodPeople will replace the worthless human beings currently infesting the world. Seven billion of them are already being constructed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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