Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Sunday, 4 March 2012

image for Old Queen's 'Nice Little Earner' This Summer!
The Queen carrying her hard earned bag of dosh!

With many British businesses being forced to reduce their prices by around 75% in order to get any customers through their doors at all, the latest news is that on Wednesday Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt will be announcing the government's latest snake scheme - he will be waving a magic pixie wand at us hoping to trick the British people into taking their holidays in Britain this summer instead of spending their money abroad. The dodgy carrot to tempt us is to be a 20.12% price reduction for accommodation at 'selected' hotels.

The Queen, who recently approved a plan to hire out rooms at St James's Palace to rich billionaires this summer - a snip at just £30000 per day - during the London Olympic Games, is not thought to be keen to join the scheme. Available rooms at St James's Palace have already sold out with the takings safely set aside by Her Majesty to buy herself a few nice new hats to wear at this year's Diamond Jubilee celebrations. Ever considered buying a few pretty second hand hats at a car boot sale luv?

Will it be tea and cucumber sandwiches served by Princess Beatrice? Well, seems she wants to do a real job rather than follow the royal tradition of waving at taxpayers with one hand while accepting taxpayer hand-outs with the other. It would be good work training experience for the lass. And convenient seeing she already enjoys living in her own luxurious apartment at - at St James's palace. All paid for by the sheeple taxpayers of this wonderful democratic country we call Great Britain.

Prob'ly not. Seems her idea of a proper job of work is to become a famous fashion designer. Where's me bucket, I finks I'm gonna puke!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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