Written by P.M. Wortham
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Thursday, 9 February 2012

image for Blake Griffin Signs Dunkin Donuts Deal
Dunk that Blake Cake into a fresh cup of coffee.

The NBA's new Doctor of Dunk has signed a deal with Dunkin Donuts worth a reportedly small pay out of $100, though offering Griffin all the free donut and coffee products he can consume for life.

The extremely tall and noticeably non-flamboyant athlete, an introvert by glitzy NBA standards, Griffin will start promotional commercials this Spring. Griffin will feature a new donut called the "Blake Cake", a hearty fried confection covered in sugar glaze with a caramel filling. "Fantastic for dunking in coffee" says Griffin.

Critics of the new donut agree, while some flavors from the caramel mix with the coffee after a good solid dunking to provide a cheaper alternative to an expensive macchiato. The Blake Cake will be featured at all Dunkin Donuts restaurants this summer following the first round of commercials. They will feature Griffin flying through the air with donut in hand, ready to slam it into a steaming cup of coffee.

Early commercial filming went well, aside from a few film crew members sustaining first degree burns from splashed coffee. "That Griffin dude can jam", said one sound engineer.

In a related story, Kobe Bryant reportedly offered his promotional services and his name to Dunkin Donuts in 2011, but demanded $21 Million on a five year contract. Though Dunkin Donuts response to Bryant was kept private, insiders say it was a simple text message that said, "Dunk You".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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