Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Topics: Government, bonus, Banker

Friday, 27 January 2012

image for Government introduces bonus seizure law
Yay! Absolute power to the government!

After a clamour of popular protest, the UK government has rushed through new legislation which allows them to seize any bonuses that are deemed too high.

A committee of "public interest specialists" will meet every month to discuss who should have their bonuses removed. The committee includes a tabloid newspaper editor, two members of the Financial Services Authority, and celebrity wrestler Geoff Capes. They will look at bonus payments made over the month and will decide who in their opinion has had too much.

Due to the vagueness of the law, the committee will also have the power to seize gifts, including those given at Christmas. It is thought the legislation could be used to punish bad children by taking back their presents.

MEP Brenda Fluff called the law "ridiculous" and questioned whether the government should be given such sweeping and draconian powers. The committee responded by demolishing her conservatory, which she had built as a gift from her aunt.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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