Geoffrey Skint, famous Chief Executioner of the Royal Bank of Slush, has been awarded an unusual bonus. He will receive a bill from the relatives of all those people he has executed over the last year. This will go some way to alleviate the suffering caused by the death of their loved ones.
Mrs Hardup, whose husband who was executed in Skint's most recent Slush bloodbath, said 'It is about time Skint did something for the families of those he has condemned to penury. He has had bonuses as big as several shit heaps over the years so it is about time he faced up to his responsibilities.'
David Cameron, in his latest instructions to world leaders put forward the Government policy on Slush as an example for others to follow. 'We have managed to approach a double dip recession so have every reason to tell everybody else what to do. It is obvious - get your Bankers to pay their bonuses into special funds to help the families they have destroyed.'
Skint was unavailable for comment but a Bank official advised that relatives might have a little time to wait for help as all available funds were earmarked for advertising the brilliant progress the Bank has made in saving the world from economic catastrophe.