Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 25 January 2012

image for Chevy Volt Still Under Fire, Pun Intended

General Motors CEO, Daniel Akerson remains in Washington to deflect criticism around reported fires with the batteries in the new Chevrolet Volt, a non fossil fuel burning, fully electric vehicle.

"That was so last year", said Melvin Stickles on January 15th. Stickles is a public relations specialist and consultant to GM and did not feel that the electricity generated around the fire issue was warranted. "People seem to be so charged up over this issue. So there were a few incidents, whatever. There are a few incidents with every model from every car company. That's why there are recalls, people".

Creating their own positive energy on the subject, GM designers feel that there are far more positive attributes about the Volt than negative. "You can see the Volt's effect on consumers by the way the hair stands up on the back of their necks, or through their electric smiles", says former Volt designer, Shanda Leare.

"But fire is a different kettle of burnt fish", says automotive consumer advocate, Rusty Steele. "You can't just throw some water on an electric fire and expect to live through the experience", said Steele in dramatic fashion. "All things considered, I'd rather be plugged into something non electric like my trusty old Ford Pinto. I just have to make sure I never get hit from behind".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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