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Wednesday, 1 February 2012

image for Bankers celebrate new bonus after John Terry mortgage application
"It was this big"

In a week when debate on bankers bonuses dominated the front page headlines the tills were overflowing and champagne flowing last night in city wine bars as bankers celebrated the approval of John Terry's latest remortgage.

The £170,000 a week Chelsea skipper took out a fourth mortgage on the property he bought in 2002 for 2.25m and has now borrowed over twice that amount on the house.

"RECESSION WHAT RECESSION?"

Bankers in the Hamilton Hall Liverpool St were quick to react. One said "I fancy a new mercedes". Another banker said "That's the 2012 bonus in the bag" A spokesperson for the Bankers Association said "Recession what recession?"

The mortgage officer, Jeffrey Picklybucket who completed the deal was last night spotted in China Whites nightclub with three mystery blondes on his arm.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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