Written by Joe Leff

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Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Shares in Private Equity, manufacturers of men's underpants, decreased markedly after safety inspectors discovered design faults.

Midriff bands had weakened during the recession, possibly due to severe weakening of essential commodities.

Private Equity underpants have not been this low since last October. They are usually fairly buoyant during the festive season.

A spokesman for Private Equity said they were focussing on the lower mid-market where they'd been striving to make deals, but it's in the lower mid-market where things can often go awry.

"We need an increase in deposits to keep everything fairly resilient. Once we tighten our belts there'll be a resurgence of activity in the underwear department."

A shareholder in the city was also fairly upbeat. "I've been with Private Equity underpants for years and so far they've never let me down."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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