Written by Ellie James
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Sunday, 8 January 2012

image for Office Intersection to Sell Mace and Ninja Weapons
Four out of five Ninjas use Ninja Line of Defense Throwing Stars.

Office Intersection, a major big box office supply retailer, announced this week that they will begin selling mace due to the increase in popularity of using the spray to settling arguments, get the toy you want, or if you just don't like the way someone looks.

It was originally planned to place the cans of mace next to the compressed air, however, after some consideration, they thought better of it and have moved them to an end cap display next to the three ring binders.

"The last thing we want is for a mild mannered receptionist accidentally suffering short-term lung problems because she maced herself instead of cleaning her dirty keyboard," stated a media representative for Office Intersection.

The retailer has also announced plans of bringing back the popular Ninja Line of Defense supplies as well. Their thought was that, as the Mayan calendar comes to and end and people get edgy and start fighting, they should capitalize on people's fears and sell the most popular Ninja items.

Throwing stars will be placed near the staplers and nunchucks will be found across the aisle from the highlighters. "There aren't many problems that can't be solved by mace, throwing stars or nunchucks," stated a representative from the Office Intersection purchasing department.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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