The Euro zone faces recession as bond sales of special urine packages are going badly wrong. A leak from a urine sample in Germany has upset the market and caused quite a stink.
British urine is standing up well and the city is betting on a decent flow of profits. Chancellor George Osborne - known to his friends as wee wee - claimed that British urine could still be in trouble if Greece and Italy continue to piss against the wall.
A punter working for the betting agency Financial Futures has put a bet on British urine sales increasing in the near future. He stands to make huge gains if he has correctly forecast the pee rates. However if he has got it wrong several banks will find they need assistance from the taxpayer to continue in business.
Our financial expert has been investigating euro toilets in many areas of the Europe and his report, which has been anticipated for some time, has given the thumbs down to the British urine futures market. He fears our financial future will be 'piss poor'.