Written by Tuttle No. 3

Print this

Monday, 19 December 2011

Stock markets rallied this week after Bloomberg news ran a story of an imminent stock market rise. The original source of the story was Elvis Yeung, regular contributor to the Bloomberg channel and investment analyst for Texas based S.F. Prophecy & Pardners.

Their hedge fund scored several notable hits this year, in particular a successful short on agricultural commodities - a move described by competing funds as "going against the grain".

Their hedge against that gamble was unusual - they bought shares in a startup venture producing self help sleep tapes. Titles included, "Sell rice or you're an idiot." and "Coffee? Are you out of your mind?!"

The venture folded after just six months but commodity prices unexpectedly fell between April and July, netting S.F. Prophecy over $325 million. 

Mr Yeung was unavailable for comment at the time of press. But after receiving his handwritten Christmas card of over 500 carefully crafted words, many Spoof employees have reported an irresistible urge to buy Greek sovereign debt.

Nobody knows what Mr Yeung's next master stroke will be but it looks like it's gonna be a cracking 2012 for the Euro!

Make Tuttle No. 3's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 1?

9 1 20 3
64 readers are online right now!

Go to top