Written by j.w.
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Topics: Economy

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

image for UK Rating Fear
Britain has 'Junk Food status'

The Government is stealing itself for more bad news on the economic front. David Cameron is being rated by the firm Hogwash and Trip and rumours coming out of Downing Street are that they give the thumbs down to the British economy. Shock waves rolled through Whitehall as 'Junk Status' is thought likely to be the Hogwash & Trip verdict.

A hurried meeting with George Osborne has resulted in the following statement which sources close to Downing street assure me is accurate.

'The British Government is indignant at being reduced to 'Junk Status' by the Hogwash & Trip Rating Agency. We are working actively with the Post Office to get rid of junk mail and expect it to be reduced in the near future. This will raise the opportunities for more employment and growth of the economy.'

There is to be no explanation of where the employment growth is coming from or the growth in the economy but, I am assured, there are plans under urgent consideration.

Ed Balls, hearing of the latest developments, described the Government as 'a pitiful failure' he considered the Government 'have no plans for jobs and growth.'

However, the real Opposition has declared that Britain must have a Referendum so the British people can decide whether we 'stay under the European heel'.

Prospects for a Happy Christmas have taken a dip and shares on the stock market have been rapidly exchanged. Investors are moving to China where Hogwash & Trip are outlawed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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