Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Topics: Unemployment

Friday, 2 December 2011

image for USA discovers way to eliminate unemployment
The Miss USA industry is holding firm under recession, with a steady employment rate of 1

Unemployment statistics in the US plummeted this month, as another 100,000 people gave up looking for work. People who have given up looking for a job do not count in the official statistics.

It is not known what has happened to those people. They may be dead, they may have won the lottery, or they may have discovered they can live well enough from searching through leftover food in restaurant bins.

Barack Obama praised the brave "giver uppers" of America. "These people represent the true American dream. They tried to find a job, but couldn't. So they just gave up."

He encouraged more people to follow their example, and explained that if the unemployment statistics were low enough, then that might lead to a stimulus in job creation. Then those people who had given up looking for work might find a job after all - although it would mean they would have to start looking again while still pretending that they weren't.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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