Rome - Bishop Guido Sarduchee held a press conference today announcing that the Vatican has been taken over by the Italian government.
The relics of Christendom are now available on Ebray, the online action house. The Pope himself is up for rent, as it is not legal to sell a human being in Italy. His price? $1,000,000.00 an hour,and it includes rides in the Pope Mobile; and you get to touch his robes.
Almost one billion pounds of gold have been confiscated by the Italian authorities, according to the Italian Minister of Banking, Giuseppe Flatorfarto; the price of gold is expected to plummet as a result.
Italy will now be in a position to dictate terms to the European Union and is expected to eventually exert political control over what will become the vassal nations of Germany, France, Spain, and Greece. Others are expected to fall to Italian influence as well. Already, the mafia, experienced in dealing with huge piles of cash, has been called in by Italian authorities for consultation on how to run the organization with the proceeds from Ebray.