Written by Monocotylidon
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Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Protesters this morning braved freezing conditions as the Occupy Wall Street movement spread to the North Pole.

Groups of elves were seen sitting and chanting anti-capitalist songs, while Santa Claus read from a prepared statement.

"As the CEO of Christmas Inc, I have always tried to keep Christmas free from the greed and over-consumption associated with Wall Street. In recent years the pressure of globalisation has meant that the religious meaning of Christmas has been lost as we have to compete with Microsoft and Apple for the interest and affection of young people.

While I sympathize with the leaders of the Elves, I cannot approve of them putting Christmas at risk, and I urge them to return to their happy duties."

Rumors later circulated that the North Pole Security Service intended to draft in suspended officer, Lt John Pike. Santa denied this, saying that the low temperatures meant that an aerosol-based pepper spray would not function at the North Pole.

A protester, who asked to be named only as Big Ears, pointed out that they had witnessed hand-carved wooden pepper mills being bought on eBay from a craftsman in Germany.

"I can only tell you that Santa and Mrs Claus do not like spicy food. " he added.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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