Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: Housing, rich

Tuesday, 7 February 2006

image for Lego Enters the Housing Market
Gwyneth Paltrow in her Miami Beach Lego retreat

Lego Homes. They're cheap, they're colorful, they snap together in minutes AND they're the latest rage among the rich and the beautiful. Gwyneth Paltrow, proud Lego Home owner says that she and her daughter Apple snapped her beach-side house together in less than an hour. Paltrow told reporters,

"Of course they'll blow apart in the slightest breeze but it's a breeze to snap them back together."

Superstar P Diddy attempting to recover from his Diet Pepsi Super Bowl commercial debacle is reportedly building a 12,000 square foot Lego Recording Studio in the mountains overlooking San Bernardino. He said,

"I hear the acoustics inside that plastic are tight. We'll just have to tone down the bass a notch because I HATE having to rebuild those things."

Diddy went on to reminisce,

"As a kid our cat kept knocking over my Lego Golden Gate Bridge and I'd have to reconstruct that thing on a daily basis. The bridge, not the kitty."

Typical prices for a Lego house range anywhere from $800 all the way up to $220,000. Lego recommends that you not purchase the $220,000 kit unless you're trying to build a Lego version of Buckingham Palace or the Johnson Space Center.

FEMA is eyeing Lego's new housing initiative very closely. FEMA officials believe that at $800 many displaced, penniless hurricane Katrina residents could easily afford to rebuild their homes and their lives.

"We know the Lego homes can't withstand a category 3 hurricane" one FEMA official said, adding,

"But neither can our levies or most of the brick homes in and around New Orleans."

Lincoln Logs, maker of the popular Lincoln Log series of children's toys is also monitoring Lego's venture into the housing market. One Lincoln Log executive said,

"WE make the sturdiest homes, not Lego. Any kid that's ever built one of our Lincoln Log log cabins is already a customer. Now, all we have to do is figure out how to make the logs 120,000 times bigger and we're in the game."

Unconfirmed sources say that even President Bush is considering building a Lego barn at his Crawford Texas ranch. One Lego representative however warned,

"We don't really recommend building Lego structures that house wild animals. A common Central Texas Jersey cow on a bad milking day could easily cause the whole place to come tumbling down with a single kick of the hoof."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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