A crisis meeting of the Lost Causes Federation, of which your reporter is honoured to be Chairman, has been discussing urgently the decision made recently to make the protest outside St Paul's Cathedral a Lost Cause.
Disturbing reports indicate the protest may not be a lost cause after all. Fatal blows have been struck by the Archbishop of Canterbury and Ed Miliband who have praised the protesters and a unanimous decision of of all three members of the Federation have decided that the protest can no longer be a Lost Cause.
Anonymous, who has been outside the Cathedral for weeks was shocked by the news and is considering moving on to protest against Schools. 'I cannot continue without the Lost Causes Federation' said Anonymous 'but my move to protesting against Schools should get them behind me again.'
The Federation is relieved Anonymous is not insisting on being against Public Schools, but against public schools. In a statement released and ignored by all the media the Federation declared: 'Protesting Against Schools is a sure fire Lost Cause winner'