Written by Skoob1999
Print this

Thursday, 3 November 2011

image for Stressed-Out Banker Throws a Sicky - Sympathy In Short Supply
Bankers - Still Coining It In - Bastards!

It was announced today that a stressed out banker has thrown a sicky, at least until Christmas, and been placed in a medical facility in order to aid his recovery from fatigue and exhaustion. The banker, who in certain circles has been described as the financial world's version of football manager Jose Mourinho, unsurprisingly has aroused little sympathy in the world at large.

A recent report asserted that approximately 99% of the world's population are stressed out, fatigued and exhausted, but that the overwhelming majority of them just have to get up in the mornings and get on with it. Most people simply can't afford to throw sickies in the current economic climate, as fuel and food bills rocket and interest rates look likely go through the roof, as the Greek debt crisis deepens on a daily basis.

Taxes must be paid on a regular basis or we'll all be paddling the wrong way up the Orinoco, using shitty sticks for oars, according to the old adage.

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock almost burst a blood vessel when he heard about the fatigued and exhausted banker.

"You're having a fucking laugh!" he said. "Sick? I'd show him fucking sick! I've been shelling out hand over fucking fist to banks for years, in order to secure me future, and because I've always been honest about it, they're trying all sorts of fucking tricks to con me out of even more. Well, they can fuck right off! Let some of the bastards who feed like parasites off the fucking taxpayer do their bit. Bastards!"

"He's right you know. For a change," commented Shuttlecock's long suffering wife, Anne.

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 3?

9 12 14 3
64 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more