Written by mikewadestr
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Tuesday, 1 November 2011

image for Michael Moore Throws His Weight Behind Occupy Wall Street
You call this a burger?

Film maker and very rich and very, very fat guy, Michael Moore, has, literally, put his weight behind the Occupy Wall Street movement which is now well into its second month. Standing on an I-beam reinforced stage, holding a double-triple cheese burger in one hand and a microphone in the other, Mr. Moore declared to the Wall Street Occupiers in New York City's Zuccotti Park:

"Everyone, I am just like you, one of those poor wretched schmoes that are being kicked around by the greedy sons' of bitches from Wall Street. I am just like you, just a whole lot fatter. People say that I have tens of millions of dollars, but that is not true. Those millions are for you, the hard working 99%. Those millions are for the minimum wage workers at Wendys, McDonalds and Burger King where I have toiled hard to give away my millions at the sacrifice of my body and my dreams of becoming a champion horse racing jockey at the Burger Hill Downs".

"To give you an idea of how poor I am, the name of the fast food restaurant, Wendys does not have an apostrophe after the "y" as it should, because I cannot afford one. I am on your side!"

The Occupy Wall Street crowd cheered wildly for a few moments and when the noise died down, one of the protesters shouted out:

"Mr. Moore, thank goodness you are here to share your wealth with the rest of us and not be one of those greedy, scum sucking millionaires on Wall Street. We welcome your contributions".

"Um, well yes", answered Mr. Moore. "As I stated in my speech, you will be entitled to my contributions as an employee working at a good burger joint, preferably Wendys. I would, also, like to ask that all Wendys employees give me and extra-large diet coke free with my order due to my sacrifices and the mere fact that I have to lose some weight".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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