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Monday, 31 October 2011

image for Obama Causes McDonald's Stock Price to Double

Washington DC: The share price of McDonald's Corporation has doubled on the NYSE. Market analysts believe the jump in shareholder value was a consequence of President Obama's latest executive order.

The president's executive order sends Thanksgiving holiday greetings to the American people and Mr. Obama indicates that he is tired of having to decide which turkeys to pardon each year before Thanksgiving. The order tasks Department of the Interior Secretary Salazar to have the US Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS) place the American turkey on the endangered species list (ESL).

The president wants Americans to voluntarily substitute McRibs for turkey, chicken, duck or ham as the main dish served during the upcoming end of the year holiday dinners. McRibs will be mandatory where federal funds are utilized for food aid such as school lunch programs, food stamps, the first lady's healthy food/fresh vegetable initiative and foreign food programs.

At a subsequent press conference, White House Press Secretary Carney emphasized that McRibs are high in protein and many new high paying American jobs in the food service industry will be created. Additionally, two new 2012 presidential reelection slogans/bumper stickers "Let them eat pork" and "I'm loving it" are now available.

The Washington Post is reporting that a group of disgruntled turkey farmer protesters has set up a tent city in Lafayette Park, across from the White House!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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