Written by Ellie James
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Sunday, 30 October 2011

image for US Tests Fish Currency Program
It's against the law to eat Fish Currency.

Washington, DC - The United States has begun talks of eliminating the dollar bill and replacing it with fish in the case that the dollar coin, of which there are millions sitting in vaults, will not take off because no one wants to be bothered with coins roughly the size of the quarter.

"Fish make sense," states a representative for the US Treasury Department. Polls indicate, despite the fact Americans refuse to carry around a coin worth $1.00 but only costs 33 cents to manufacture, people will be happy to carry around fish.

However, some people have expressed fears of over fishing. To alleviate these fears, officials have assured the American public that they will first use the king mackerel because it already is tainted with high levels of mercury and are inedible anyway.

When the king mackerel is depleted, then the US will begin using other types of mackerel. The top five choices of the new mackerel currency are: narrow-boned Spanish mackerel, Greenback horse mackerel, the Island mackerel, the Australian spotted mackerel, and the Japanese Spanish mackerel.

The fish currency program is currently being tested in Portland, Maine. Residents were resistant at first but have gotten accustomed to carrying around coolers and plugging in mini-fridges in their cars for their mackerel.

If the fish currency casts off nicely, then the Treasury Department will begin using trout to replace the $5.00 bill.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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