Written by Alvin Taveras
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Topics: Blockbuster, Netflix

Friday, 28 October 2011

image for Netflix Cancels Its Subscriptions To Itself

CALIFORNIA - In what people are calling the most shocking revelation known to mail order products and services, the United States Post Office has reported that Netflix has just canceled its subscription to itself.

Post Office employee Jack Ripper told reporters that the postcard was the writing on the wall. It stated how sad and disappointed it was to lose such a valuable costumer and that they would be welcomed to rejoin at any time because they knew where Netflix lived and what method of payment it prefers to pay bills.

Netflix, on the other hand, was furious that the Post Office employee did not keep his mouth shout and hoped his fingers received a paper cut from the postcard.

"It's unethical and unbecoming of a professional to tamper and publicly share any private matter to the public," says Netflix CEO Reed Hastings.

Jack Ripper retorts, "If you're dumb enough to put a written message like that on a postcard than you're dumb enough to mail money. And we know how dumb you are, Mr. Blockbuster."

Hastings refused to further entertain this discussion on Twitter but his spokesperson threatened to become the Assassin Creed video game guy on Halloween if Mr. Ripper continued with his loud mouth.

Unfortunately, the law only stipulates that Post Office employees are not allowed to open mail but can read what's written outside the envelope including postcards senders that are dumb enough to send postcards over snail mail let alone detail the address and sender information.

As much as Netflix might disagree with this stipulation, they sure won't survive their mail order business if they lose the irrelevant United States Post Office.

In related news, Blockbuster was glad to have a laugh at Netflix while they go under themselves. Meanwhile, Redbox keeps laughing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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