Written by Alvin Taveras
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Saturday, 22 October 2011

image for Rod Blagojevich Begins New Bribe Business called Blago-Paypal

CHICAGO - It's one thing if you get caught transferring money around to disguise a bribe scandal, it's another thing if you pursue income from bribes and don't get caught. That's what former Governor Rod Blagojevich thinks as he awaits his sentence due to his convicted bribery scandal of selling Obama's senate seat.

The former governor had plenty of time to think about how else he can avoid being crucified or at least be seen by people as Barnabas, the man granted amnesty of his crime in place of Jesus.

One day it dawned upon him after visiting his good friend Bernie Madoff in prison, that it was possible to use electronics to transfer money more swiftly and secretly.

So Blagojevich did some research and came across a website called PayPal. PayPal is an American based electronic money transfer business headquartered in Palo Alto that has been in business since 1998 and records profits just over two billion dollars.

Rather than doing it the old fashion way with traditional checks, especially since he's already been convicted, Blagojevich figured it would be harder to track him if he established a legitimate company under his name. Moreover, the profits would be greater in the black market since there are no taxes.

Blagojevich hopes to bribe his way out of prison by paying off the judge, lawyers, tax-payers of Chicago, and Donald Trump via the profits he makes from this new company he will Blago-pay.

Unfortunately, his lawyers were unavailable for comment due to college football Saturday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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