Written by j.w.
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Topics: Banks

Friday, 14 October 2011

image for Banks Offer Bonuses to Protesters
Queen supports Ban Policies

In an unexpected development Banks are offering high interest rates to protesters aiming to occupy the London Stock Exchange. It is thought that this crafty move will take the wind out of the protesters sails as they grab this opportunity to get rich quick.

'Loads o Money', chief organiser of the campaign, has asked for his savings to be put in a special fund with interest rates well above inflation. 'That way' he told reporters 'next time I want to spend my penny I will be able to use a toilet where you have to pay!'

Some financial experts have queried the Bank's policies, fearing a run on the pound, devaluation and the end of capitalism. But an economist in tune with the latest Bank enterprise sees this generous, open approach to protesters as a means of getting new customers.

The Police are preparing for any demonstration and West Ham have been complaining that they can't get the police they need for their next home game on Saturday. They are also worried that the Bank offers will mean people going to the City instead of Upton Park.

West Ham Manager Sam Allardyce called for Banks to more responsible and stop undermining British culture.

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