Written by Dominic The Brave
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Topics: clothing, Midgets, Dwarfs

Thursday, 13 October 2011

image for New Clothing Store Chain to Cater For Midgets Opens First Shop In Las Vegas
The Type of Clothes Dwarfs Like To Wear

A new clothing chain is set to open its first store in Las Vegas, Nevada Saturday, selling apparel designed exclusively for dwarfs, midgets, imps, pixies......call them what you will.

'Tiny' will sell jeans, shirts, suits, ties, belts, shoes, skirts, dresses, basketball kits and hats for both female and male dwarfs. Owner of the chain, Brian Horton, 45, who is normal, said ''I often wondered where these little people got their clothes from, at first I thought they just bought kiddie clothes, then I realized that these people needed grown up clothing, just tailored to complement their big hands, big foreheads but short squat legs and ill proportioned bodies.''

After extensive research Horton discovered that Las Vegas had more midgets per capita than any other US City, over 50 dwarfs, registered with the police, are living in sin city.

''I decided to open stores where midgets congregated. They stick to themselves and usually live in the same neighborhoods so I am opening stores not only in Vegas but Atlanta, Cleveland and of course Detroit'' explained Horton.

Some midgets though are not impressed.

Angry dwarf Tim Short told me ''These stores are crap. He has no idea what he is doing, the hats do not fit our square heads, the shirts do not compensate for the chips on our shoulders and the shoes do not account for the fact that most midgets have webbed feet!''

Horton admits that there are problems.

''I couldn't find any dwarf like clothes dummies so I had to use normal sized ones, so the clothes do look ridiculous in the display but, as I state quite clearly, these clothes should not be worn by able bodied people, just freaks.''

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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