Written by Alvin Taveras
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Topics: Music, Shopping, coldplay

Thursday, 13 October 2011

image for Coldplay and Wholefoods Market agree to play Mylo Xyloto while customers shop on 10/24

AUSTIN, TEXAS - With a stroke of a pen Whole Foods Market have agreed to provide music from Coldplay's newest album, Mylo Xyloto on 24 October, the premiere date.

Lead singer Chris Martin was thrilled about the opportunity because Mylo Xyloto translates into English as 'natural and organic product,' coincidentally identical to the Whole Foods slogan. "Mylo Xyloto is one of those names that people ask what the hell does that mean. I'm certain that shoppers at Whole Foods Market will catch on quickly."

When I asked Chris Martin to pronounce the title again he interrupted me and began speaking about a new inspirational song that will last 8 minutes long detailing the customers' shopping experience.

The title of the new song is yet to be determined but Chris Martin is thinking that it should begin with the letter, 'W' and end with a vowel. He also wants to contrast the product quality at Whole Foods Market compared to D'Agostino's in the chorus.

The rest of the band was just as excited because the collaboration itself felt like a 'viva la vida' moment. "I used to rule the world. Seas would rise when I gave the word. Now in the morning I sleep alone. Sweep the streets I used to own," exclaimed the band's drummer Will Champion.

Unfortunately, Coldplay won't be present at any Whole Foods Market on the October 24th launch date because they can't be everywhere at once. However, it's certainly a love story with a happy ending, minus the fact that Chris got upset at Will because he was singing Chris' part of the song.

This will be Coldplay's first and lasts fifth LP album.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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