Written by Big Stu
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Topics: George Osborne

Friday, 30 September 2011

image for Osbourne: "Optimus Prime can save Euro"
Mr Osbourne's views on Euro recovery questioned.

The Euro crisis deepened further today as markets still uncertain about the Greek bailout plan dropped another two points at the close of trading. The situation was then thrown into further confusion by a bizarre suggestion about how the situation may be resolved by the Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osbourne.

Responding to criticism at the Labour Party conference that he had lost control of the economy and had no firm plans to solve the European debt crisis, Mr Osbourne announced his intentions to the Trade Union Conference in Blackpool.

He stated: "The European economy is showing signs of stagnation and there can be no quick fixes. Resolving this crisis will take great integrity and courage and some sensible solutions. I have therefore asked for a radio message to be sent to the planet Cybertron, asking Autobot leader Optimus Prime to become a consultant and help us to devise some workable objectives and strategy for future economic growth."

When questioned about the viability of this proposal, Mr Osbourne replied: "I have the utmost faith in Mr Prime and feel confident that he can restore economic unity and, in return, we shall assist him in his fight against Megatron and the forces of darkness."

Mr Osbourne then gave an evil laugh, called himself Ivor the Engine then proceeded to chuff his way out of the conference, telling waiting journalists that he had to get the coal up to Carlisle by noon or Mr Jones would have his balls handed to him on a plate. The Euro crisis shows no sign of abating, meanwhile, and there has been no response to the Chancellor's message from Optimus Prime.

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