(MOSUL) Disney Corporation halted construction of Disney-Raq after a car bomb exploded killing 30 of it's construction workers. One Disney executive said, "We're trying to make this work but the bombers are making it difficult to put up a mono-rail let alone a Matterhorn mountain."
The construction site, 2 miles south of Mosul has been plagued recently with a series of deadly suicide bomb attacks which so far have left over 300 Disney construction workers either dead or missing.
"We felt it in the best interest of our stockholders to temporarily halt construction. We ARE, however reformulating our Middle Eastern marketing strategy, adapting existing attractions to their unique culture. According to Disney, possible Disney-Raq attractions could include,
ALLAH LAND .. visitors can not only MEET Allah but "chat" with the 72 virgins as well. Parental discretion advised.
SUICIDE CITY .. visitors can actually BECOME a virtual suicide bomber .. blow up a market place, annihilate a schoolyard, a hospital, the possibilities are endless
IT'S A SMALL MOSQUE .. Take a ride through a virtual Mosque which has been targeted by U.S. Apache helicopters seeking to destroy the terror cell hunkered down inside (a MUST see)
"We're even thinking about creating a boat ride where visitors can, while sailing down a simulated Tigris behead the Disney character of their choice. We think Goofy will be the lovable Disney character of choice but many Americans might prefer "Good Ole Osama".
Walt Disney, many say, would turn over in his grave if he were alive today seeing the depths to which his entertainment dream has plunged.
First there's Disneyland in China. Then Disneyland in Korea. What next? Disneyland in Jersey?
President Bush told reporters that he supported the Disney-Raq initiative saying,
"Perhaps Osama Bin Laden might just visit Disney-Raq. THEN, heh, THEN we can catch him. Donald? Can we give those Disney folks a couple of billion or so to help em out?"
Iraqi police and U.S. Marines assure Disney that they will "Do their darndest" to prevent suicide bombers from interfering with the construction of Disney-Raq. Disney CEO Robert Iger says that if the Marines can reduce fatalities down to 10 per day or less, they MIGHT resume work on Allah Land. Assuming they can find 72 virgins.