Written by Lyndon
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Tuesday, 27 September 2011

image for South-by-Southwest unveils new anti-celebrity slogan
South-by-Southwest will also provide vouchers to those who spot poor celeb behavior

DALLAS, Tx.--South-by-Southwest Airlines has unveiled its new slogan this week which contains a message directed primarily at misbehaving, unappealing celebrities.

With its catchy, "Celebs are now free to sit down, keep their clothes on, and not be fat," South-by-Southwest is hoping to draw attention to celebrities who've boarded their planes in the past two years and have quickly deplaned due to questions about their behavior and weight.

In February 2010, director Kevin Smith was booted from a flight because he was taking up too much space.

At the beginning of September, Green Day front man Billy Joe Armstrong was asked to depart the flight before take-off because his pants were hanging too low, thereby exposing more than your average plumber does.

Today, actress Leisha Hailey and her lesbian partner were told to abandon their seats because they had started to get hot and heavy upon sitting down.

Gerry Kerald, President and CEO of South-by-Southwest Airlines, released a statement: "Our message to our good customers is this: 'None of us need to put up with the poor attitudes and deviant lifestyles that Hollywood breeds.'"

Early reports that Gerald had once been an aspiring actor who was turned away by seven different acting schools could not be confirmed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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