Written by queen mudder

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Topics: Airplane, Boeing

Monday, 26 September 2011

image for Boeing's greenest ever 787 Screamliner 'made from lightweight compost materials'
The greenest ever Screamliner, seen here parked at Gatwick

Chicago, Illinois - "Passengers can expect cabins with much greater humidity," Boeing's head of communications said today, "especially when the plane's windows are open over the Pacific Ocean!"

The PR blurb issued by the aircraft manufacturer's US HQ is rightly proud of some key 'green' features of its latest carrier the 787 Screamliner.

Gone are those old-fashioned aluminium sheets and their 50,000 pesky fasteners as a high tech lightweight compost (sic) material replaces essential components.

Huge parts of the 10,000 mile range plane are being constructed in a brand new mouldy - er...moulding! - process using giant cookie cutters and shiny plastic.

And a bold new 'go faster' stripe down the side of the fuselage increases maximum flying speed to just over Mach 0.85 or 920mph.

Plenty of international airlines have already ordered their new 787s including Japan's All Nipple Airways (50), Australia's Quaintarse (50), United-Incontinental (50), Airhead Canada (37), Jihad Airways (666), Gutter Heir (30) and British Heirways (2).

The first plane to enter service will be in Japan around Halloween Night.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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