There have been 47 spoof news stories published in January 2018. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Frozen black pudding saves lives! Vegans are horrified!

Frozen black pudding saves lives! Vegans are horrified!

A UK butcher stuck in his freezer after a wicked draught blew through his shop and slammed the freezer door shut, used the only thing possible to save his life; frozen Black Pudding! Yes! Life-saving bloody black puddings are now being installed i...
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Funny story: Genius Donald Trump to re-film the whole of Star Wars, and playing every role

Genius Donald Trump to re-film the whole of Star Wars, and playing every role

'If you strike me down, I will become more humble than you could ever imagine'. 'These aren't the presidential traits you are looking for' Donald Trump is to spend billions on re-filming all of the Star Wars Films, and playing all of the roles.
View 'Genius Donald Trump to re-film the whole of Star Wars, and playing every role'
Funny story: Depressed Mould Experiences Back-To-Work Blues

Depressed Mould Experiences Back-To-Work Blues

Gary Johnson, a blue and green mould has been depressed for a few days now, after being viciously washed off a mug. The germ form told us 'I had it on easy street, growing on a white mug, with plenty of sour milk in it, I was there for a couple of...
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Funny story: Earth's rotation slowed due to global farting

Earth's rotation slowed due to global farting

Geneva, Switzerland - Professor Grostrou DuCul of Le Pied Malodorant University held a small press conference this afternoon to clarify how global warming is producing earth quakes. According to the Professor both animals and humans turn their ba...
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Funny story: Kim Jong-Un Admits Yearning for Ivanka Trump, Correspondence Discovered

Kim Jong-Un Admits Yearning for Ivanka Trump, Correspondence Discovered

Pyongyang by way of Trump Tower. It may be just a matter of time. So far, however, stranger things have yet to happen in 2018. It could also be the most intriguing yet stillborn Romeo and Juliet relationship of the Twenty-first Century. Muelle...
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Funny story: Super quantum computer now available to the public

Super quantum computer now available to the public

Cambridge MA - MIT scientist Jean Hiver held a press conference today under the Great Dome of MIT to announce to the world a modular quantum computer easily expandable to n qubits as n approaches infinity. Unlike previous inorganic architectural a...
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Funny story: Donald Trump told to stop licking the Cactus

Donald Trump told to stop licking the Cactus

A White House aide has revealed that Donald Trump has to be repeatedly told to stop licking a Cactus in the White House. The Cactus, which is a large green one in the Oval Office, and was a gift from Barack Obama on his leaving Obama said 'Yes,...
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Funny story: Man breaks new year's resolution

Man breaks new year's resolution

Donald Smith of Basingstoke has broken his only new year's resolution in only one day. The Office worker claimed that he wanted to get fit, and joined a gym, paying more than £1,500 for the year's membership, but the chap told us that it is now 17...
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Funny story: Parisian jewelry thieves caught by Inspector Closeau and his pissed Pink Panther!

Parisian jewelry thieves caught by Inspector Closeau and his pissed Pink Panther!

A bungled attempt to lift £3.5 million pounds worth of jewelry from the Ritz Hotel in Paris has been folied by the one and only, Inspector Closeau, and his piss-artist assistant, The Pink Panther! Thieves smashed open glass cabinets with sledge ha...
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Funny story: Toddler decides that the behaviour of the President is completely selfish

Toddler decides that the behaviour of the President is completely selfish

Gary Watson, 3, has philosophised that the behaviour of Donald Trump really goes beyond the pail. Speaking to us, whilst throwing a tantrum on the floor of his local Tesco the erudite expert in human behaviour told us, 'A tantrum is fair enough in...
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Funny story: 2017 - With thanks to Billy Joel

2017 - With thanks to Billy Joel

Snap election, Britain votes New £1 coins, new £10 notes Robert Mugabe finally goes Mount Agung in Bali blows RyanAir, staff trouble Syria reduced to rubble Fats Domino, Chuck Berry Jeremy Corbyn, Glastonbury Fake news, tweets, sacking Torie...
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Funny story: Horse denies that Donald Trump is a Stable Genius

Horse denies that Donald Trump is a Stable Genius

David Smith, a black horse with wonky teeth has denied that Donald Trump is a stable genius. Smith told us, 'Yes, the hay was all over the place, and because of his small hands, and bad back, Donald, or Donnie to his mates couldn't move it. He als...
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Funny story: Extreme Temperatures Having Adverse Effects on Millions of Americans, could spell the end of economic recovery

Extreme Temperatures Having Adverse Effects on Millions of Americans, could spell the end of economic recovery

Upper Midwest, including Minnesota and Wisconsin. Now burrrr-ied under subarctic temperatures reminiscent of the POLAR VORTEX, literally millions of Americans are huddled in their thermal skivvies and parkas, shivering like nervous Chihuahuas. As...
View 'Extreme Temperatures Having Adverse Effects on Millions of Americans, could spell the end of economic recovery'
Funny story: Kyrie Irving's new found wisdom helps change Celtics culture

Kyrie Irving's new found wisdom helps change Celtics culture

Mr. Irving, a devout Flat-Earther, has at the ripe age of 25, taken upon himself the momentous task of changing the culture of the Celtics organization. "No longer are the Celtic's going to be associated with combating racism like under Bill Russ...
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Funny story: Clinical study on length and potency vs Rocket Man ordered up with follow-up at UN Security Council

Clinical study on length and potency vs Rocket Man ordered up with follow-up at UN Security Council

Advisors to the President, Ms. Haley among them, have come forward to suggest Mr. Trump settle any lingering doubts on matters related to overall potency in running The Oval Office. The rumor that Mr. Trump has small hands needs putting into persp...
View 'Clinical study on length and potency vs Rocket Man ordered up with follow-up at UN Security Council'
Funny story: New Year's Revelation! New York Woman Realizes Mediocre Sort-Of Relationship Is Worth Sacrificing Everything For

New Year's Revelation! New York Woman Realizes Mediocre Sort-Of Relationship Is Worth Sacrificing Everything For

At the age of 33, Giselle Watson of New York City was still single, and for the life of her, she couldn't understand why. "Actually, that's not quite true," Giselle admits now with an embarrassed smile, catching herself in her own lie. "I'd let my...
View 'New Year's Revelation! New York Woman Realizes Mediocre Sort-Of Relationship Is Worth Sacrificing Everything For'
Funny story: Antifa member in hospital after defacing electrical transformer

Antifa member in hospital after defacing electrical transformer

An Antifa member is in the hospital after allegedly attempting to vandalize an electrical transformer. Police still don't know who this activist is, since the activist, who was admitted to the hospital as John Doe refuses to give his name, and becaus...
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Funny story: Vegetarian Cat Swears vengance on his owners

Vegetarian Cat Swears vengance on his owners

Vegetarian cat, Tiddles Smith, 3, from Chutney on the Fritz has declared vengance on his owners, Mr and Mrs Smith for feeding him a diet of meat for years. The angry moggy says 'All of those hints I have been dropping, such as eating grass, steali...
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Funny story: Trump Thought 'Fire and Fury' Author Was White House Butler

Trump Thought 'Fire and Fury' Author Was White House Butler

Miralamo, FL "President" Donald Trump has belatedly admitted to having met Michael Wolff, the man who spent over a year at the White House writing a book and who personally interviewed Trump for over three hours. Donald explained: "I thought I had...
View 'Trump Thought 'Fire and Fury' Author Was White House Butler'
Funny story: Donald Trump tweets, again

Donald Trump tweets, again

In American news, US President Donald Trump has replied to more than a million of his followers with the deeply cynical 'My Dad is bigger than your Dad' the favourite taunt of any scrawny seven year old in the playground. The thing is, Donald Trum...
View 'Donald Trump tweets, again'
Funny story: It's Official Now - The Internet Is Now More Annoying Than Television Ever Was.

It's Official Now - The Internet Is Now More Annoying Than Television Ever Was.

The votes are in and, Yes!, the Internet is now considered to be more irritating, obnoxious and intruding than television in its heyday ever was. The Internet was originally designed to be a tool of the military for passing along information elect...
View 'It's Official Now - The Internet Is Now More Annoying Than Television Ever Was.'
Funny story: Trump claims to be descendant of Zeus

Trump claims to be descendant of Zeus

"We are brothers", claimed Donald Trump, "and I plan to visit Greece this year to see where my family is buried. That's in Europe, right?" Zeus, the ancient god for sky and thunder in Greek religion was, by all accounts, pretty powerful. According...
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Funny story: Private Physician Comes Clean about Trump's Physical Exam

Private Physician Comes Clean about Trump's Physical Exam

UPDATED - Manhattan. In 2015, Dr. Harold Bornstein, Trump's doctor of 25 years, claimed that "if elected, Mr. Trump will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency." In a follow-up interview, he qualified his position. If "he...
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Funny story: Paul Ryan: "To Save Social Security, Shorten the Life Span"

Paul Ryan: "To Save Social Security, Shorten the Life Span"

Washington, D. C. In a remarkable reversal of his position, House Speaker Paul Ryan today announced that the way to save the social security system is to shorten the life span of working Americans so that fewer of them retire to collect retirement be...
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Funny story: Clematis Wilt Reunion

Clematis Wilt Reunion

The long forgotten prog rock orchestra Clematis Wilt have announced a massive world wide tour for 2018. Daniel Pretension, the band's drummer, and bassist Butch Arpeggio put the group together in 1973, following on the success of Mike Oldfield's T...
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Funny story: Homeless white man freezes to death while being told to check his privilege

Homeless white man freezes to death while being told to check his privilege

NYC - A homeless man froze to death on the Upper West Side last night during an impromptu lecture about his white privilege by a passing group of Ivy League college students. The trust fund roommates wrapped in mink coats were walking back to their P...
View 'Homeless white man freezes to death while being told to check his privilege'
Funny story: Trump.com™ to ban all immigration from S&%#hole countries like California, Texas and Arizona

Trump.com™ to ban all immigration from S&%#hole countries like California, Texas and Arizona

The Very Whitehouse has released an statement confirming that S&%#hole countries like California, Texas and Arizona will have all immigration cancelled. They said this was to stem the evil brown tide that is destroying the lifestyles of rich whi...
View 'Trump.com™ to ban all immigration from S&%#hole countries like California, Texas and Arizona'
Funny story: Donald Trump Loses It at Stable Genius Award Ceremony

Donald Trump Loses It at Stable Genius Award Ceremony

Palm Beach, FL--At his Mar-a-Lago Resort Donald Trump was awarded the Stable Genius Award, by its former recipient, Sarah Palin, at a ceremony attended by hundreds of Trump supporters who were there, purportedly, to Make America Smart Again. On re...
View 'Donald Trump Loses It at Stable Genius Award Ceremony'
Funny story: Worboys Worries

Worboys Worries

We at Back and to the Left news aren't qualified to do a number of jobs. Brain surgeon, structural engineer, milkman or professional sportsmen are all occupations that are well beyond us. However it seems that being a member of the UK justice systems...
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Funny story: My Obit - if you want something done well...

My Obit - if you want something done well...

I am really very uncomfortable with the idea that some hack at the Huffington Post or the local newspaper, or worse, some well-meaning friend, or an angry relative whom I left out of my will, will have the chore, or as the case may be, the joy of writing my obituary. As the saying goes, "if you want something done well, do it yourself." And after all, once your obit is done, it can't be undone...
View 'My Obit - if you want something done well...'
Funny story: Donald Trump Weighing up Pantomime offers

Donald Trump Weighing up Pantomime offers

Following the explosive publication of Fire and Fury, Donald Trump is now in talks to star in Pantomime in largely out of the way provincial theatres. Places such as Whitby, Rhyll, Brighton and Walsall are in talks for the bewigged, small handed P...
View 'Donald Trump Weighing up Pantomime offers'
Funny story: Charles Dance to read the audio book of Fire and Fury

Charles Dance to read the audio book of Fire and Fury

Charismatic British actor Charles Dance has signed a multi million pound contract to narrate the Donald Trump tell all Fire and Fury. The star of any film which requires a charming cad, a charming villian, a charming misunderstood loner, or a char...
View 'Charles Dance to read the audio book of Fire and Fury'
Funny story: Steve Bannon wins next series of The World's Biggest Loser

Steve Bannon wins next series of The World's Biggest Loser

Steve Bannon, Donald Trump's cackling Gollum figure is all set to win the next series of televisual entertainment smorgasbord 'The World's Biggest Loser'. The hirsute buffoon has been nominated by Donald 'Teflon' Trump, who's arms and tiny hands g...
View 'Steve Bannon wins next series of The World's Biggest Loser'
Funny story: Aliens Are Found To Be Employing Slaves

Aliens Are Found To Be Employing Slaves

The US Bureau of Flying Saucers has announced that flying saucers do exist and that they have made contact with extraterrestrial life. The announcement was made shortly after President Trump threatened to terminate their existence because they weren...
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Funny story: Crypto and fiat currencies to be replaced with Funny Money

Crypto and fiat currencies to be replaced with Funny Money

London, England - The Queen, according to her Minister of Finance, has grown tired of gold and silver. Too heavy. Fiat currencies. Too numerous. Crypto currencies. Too cumbersome. As revealed to the FT by Lord Stinkenbottom, Finance Minister, a N...
View 'Crypto and fiat currencies to be replaced with Funny Money'
Funny story: Robotic Dog Takes Crofting To New Heights On Fetlar

Robotic Dog Takes Crofting To New Heights On Fetlar

Following the news on the technological advances in the northern isles of the UK, it has come to the attention of the Shetters news team that a band of dedicated crofters on the island of Fetlar in the Shetland Islands are replacing the traditional c...
View 'Robotic Dog Takes Crofting To New Heights On Fetlar'
Funny story: Big Bad Wolff At The White House

Big Bad Wolff At The White House

While the big bad Wolff is at the White House blowing it down with his Fire and Fury book, Special Counselor Robert Mueller III, and the moving vans, are similarly, getting closer and closer, inching there way up the back driveway, to removing Donald...
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Funny story: Prince Harry Pranks Donald Trump

Prince Harry Pranks Donald Trump

Kensington Palace, London Prince Harry called President Trump over the secret, red phone diplomatic line and convinced Trump that he was North Korea's Kim Jong-Un and that he could see everything Trump was doing. "Hello Donnie! This is your old pa...
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Funny story: "Sagging Testicles" Linked to Recreational Marijuana

"Sagging Testicles" Linked to Recreational Marijuana

Sacramento, CA. With the sale of recreational marijuana now legal in California, that state's health department has warned young adult males that even minimal use of the product may result in an embarrassing but not lethal problem involving male sex...
View '"Sagging Testicles" Linked to Recreational Marijuana'
Funny story: Penis blackening laser treatments the rage at Berkeley

Penis blackening laser treatments the rage at Berkeley

Berkeley, CA - The Gilipollas Clinic, according to BLM activists here, is awash with clients getting penis darkening laser treatments. Ironically the opposite is happening in Thailand As reported here. Here in Berkeley, pale members of BLM are...
View 'Penis blackening laser treatments the rage at Berkeley'
Funny story: Jeremy Hunt spends weekend waiting in a corridor

Jeremy Hunt spends weekend waiting in a corridor

Former Health, Education, Water-parks, Traffic Control and Stationary Secretary Jeremy Hunt has spent the weekend waiting in a corridor for news of his next appointment, Deputy Prime Minister and keeper of the Parliamentary pornography. Waiting fo...
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Funny story: NHS Crisis

NHS Crisis

Please note that we at Back and to the Left news hate writing about the Tory party. As we type about them our fingers bleed and we can hear the scratching of demons pushing though the thin veil of reality that surrounds our office. We'll get back to...
View 'NHS Crisis'
Funny story: Book reveals Trump's abnormal presidential lifestyle

Book reveals Trump's abnormal presidential lifestyle

It is the book the President did not want to have released. "Trump: What a fucking moron!" is available in bookshops and in word-form on the internet this week. It was written by a White House insider and dishes the dirt on all of the orange haired l...
View 'Book reveals Trump's abnormal presidential lifestyle'
Funny story: Northern England to be left to decay into wild forest

Northern England to be left to decay into wild forest

The UK government has announced a bold new plan for the North of England. Instead of adapting to a post-industrial world, it is to be abandoned and left for weeds and trees to come back. Prime Minister Theresa May explained the decision at a press...
View 'Northern England to be left to decay into wild forest'
Funny story: Prizer Laboratories to introduce 'orange pill' for overly-endowed men

Prizer Laboratories to introduce 'orange pill' for overly-endowed men

Men with oversized genitalia no longer have to suffer. Prizer Labs now introduces a new 'orange pill' called Argaiv to relieve this condition. Women welcome this new product. Keisha Holcombe says, "Jamal's thing was dayam bigger than a motherf__ki...
View 'Prizer Laboratories to introduce 'orange pill' for overly-endowed men'
Funny story: Boris and the Mail

Boris and the Mail

Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson, has blasted Virgin Railways for banning the Daily Mail. Or as we at Back and to the Left news refer to it as "A Rag for people who love racism to have a wank over". Boris, who looked like he'd been drinking but he a...
View 'Boris and the Mail'
Funny story: Food Banks Poverty Wank

Food Banks Poverty Wank

Conservative MP, Tobias Strom, today blasted the use of food banks up and down the country. Talking to forty other like minded cock ends he said: There is a growing epidemic in this country and I'm not talking about poor people! This got the ex...
View 'Food Banks Poverty Wank'
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