There were 144 spoof news stories published in May 2017. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Official Retirement Age Upped to 95 in the US

Official Retirement Age Upped to 95 in the US

It happened shortly after Prince Philip announced his impending retirement. Members of the U.S. Congress, eager to extend their own gravy train and justify that extension as totally normal, were eager to vote this into law. "I'm all for it," said...
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Funny story: Indian restaurant in London closed down after serving fake human meat!

Indian restaurant in London closed down after serving fake human meat!

It seems a London, Indian restaurant has been caught up in the latest craze hitting the global media world like a tsunami, it's called FAKE NEWS (something we never write here on The Spoof). The restaurant, for a bit of fun, put the following deli...
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Funny story: "UK Bitches on tour" T-shirts not suitable for flying!

"UK Bitches on tour" T-shirts not suitable for flying!

If you are planning a hen party on a Spanish Island and wearing a "Bitch on Tour" T-shirt, forget it! A group of young ladies was ejected from the plane because their T-shirts were found not appropriate by the airline! A non-gay tour operator offe...
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Funny story: Math Teacher Unaware that Puns Aren't Cool Anymore

Math Teacher Unaware that Puns Aren't Cool Anymore

Michael Langley, a math teacher at Harrisburg High School, was reportedly unaware that puns aren't cool anymore. Chris Jarvis, a 11th grade student who has been in Langley's class for three straight years, remarks: "Mr. Langley keeps repeating th...
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Funny story: Trump Pardons Himself

Trump Pardons Himself

Washington, DC - President Donald Trump recently began to utter the words "Pardon me" with regularity. Although the President blames his chef's spicy food and a busy travel schedule for his continuous desire to be pardoned, sources say he is worri...
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Funny story: Nancy Pelosi Accuses Republicans Of Taxing Stay-At-Home Mom's Imputed Income

Nancy Pelosi Accuses Republicans Of Taxing Stay-At-Home Mom's Imputed Income

BILLINGSGATE POST: House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi told Joe Scarborough and his nodding accomplice, Mika, that the Republicans will attempt to balance the budget by taxing the imputed income of mothers who stay at home to care for their children.
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Funny story: Teenager Decides He Will Stop Procrastinating...Later

Teenager Decides He Will Stop Procrastinating...Later

Marcus Travins, a 10th grade student at Wilmot High School in North Carolina, reportedly promised that he would stop procrastinating later this year. He explains "I have a problem with pushing important assignments aside and eventually doing them...
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Funny story: President Trump Replaces Supreme Court With American Idol Judges

President Trump Replaces Supreme Court With American Idol Judges

Sparking yet another constitutional crisis, President Trump has fired the Supreme Court and assembled a panel of current and former American Idol judges to rubber stamp his Cinco de Mayo ban and other controversial policies. Simon Cowell, Paris Hi...
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Funny story: Porn Star sex and sexy shows all

Porn Star sex and sexy shows all

In an exclusive interview with Jimmy Astro, Jane Doe, famed gossiper and celebrity basher, shows all by complaining on national television about peoples money problems. Astro asked her if marriage is part of her agenda any time soon. Her reply w...
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Funny story: After Trumpcare, Donald Trump Is Leader of the Expensive World

After Trumpcare, Donald Trump Is Leader of the Expensive World

For the first 100 days of his presidency, Donald Trump was undisputedly the leader of the free world. After passing Trumpcare, the new Republican health care bill that will reportedly cut several federal subsidies for healthcare, many Americans agree...
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Funny story: Sadistic Bastards Airlines Takes to the Skies

Sadistic Bastards Airlines Takes to the Skies

Following a spate of in-cabin bust ups and air-rage fuelled punch-ups, one airline is standing up for what they truly believe in, in the world of customer-focused airline aggression. "We can't change," said CEO Nonoze, "so we may as well embrace t...
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Funny story: FBI: Chris Christie Established Back Channel to KFC Early in Trump Campaign

FBI: Chris Christie Established Back Channel to KFC Early in Trump Campaign

A bombshell report by the New York Times details an FBI investigation into Chris Christie's contacts with KFC as early as March 2016 when he advised then presidential candidate Donald Trump. First son in-law Jared Kushner is also a target in the...
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Funny story: Trump Administration Releases Money Saving Tips For New Trump Health Plan

Trump Administration Releases Money Saving Tips For New Trump Health Plan

Washington, DC Surgeon General Dr. Niles Crane has released a list of things Americans can do to reduce their health care costs under the new Trump health plan. 1. Stop going to the doctor so much Everybody should buy some bandages and other me...
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Funny story: Trump and Macron Announce Wife Swap

Trump and Macron Announce Wife Swap

Paris, France - French President Emmanuel Macron and US President Donald Trump have announced a wife swap. Both spouses are considered more age appropriate for the other president. President Trump and Macron's wife Brigitte are senior citizens. Pre...
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Funny story: After local man reads foreign food label with kilocalorie counts instead of calorie counts, extreme diet leads to death

After local man reads foreign food label with kilocalorie counts instead of calorie counts, extreme diet leads to death

Washington, D.C. - Excess calorie intake is the primary contributor to the obesity epidemic plaguing most developed nations, but eating a minimum level of calories is key to life and longevity. We all know that we should eat about 2,000 calories per...
View 'After local man reads foreign food label with kilocalorie counts instead of calorie counts, extreme diet leads to death'
Funny story: ChastiTunes Serves Up Music You Hate

ChastiTunes Serves Up Music You Hate

Turning the business model on its head, a new streaming service purposely serves up the most hated songs and videos. So who would use such a service and for what purposes? As it turns out, ChastiTunes users are much more than musical masochist...
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Funny story: Maxine Waters Claims Vladimir Putin Bit Her Neck With Her Own False Teeth

Maxine Waters Claims Vladimir Putin Bit Her Neck With Her Own False Teeth

BILLINGSGATE POST: First she claimed that Vladimir Putin used her own false teeth to bite her on the neck in a tony Moscow Karaoke bar. Seems he didn't like her rendition of "Georgia on My Mind." Then she said that he grabbed her James Brown wig be...
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Funny story: Comey Firing Recommendation A Forgery!

Comey Firing Recommendation A Forgery!

Forensic Scientist Discovers Acting US Attorney General's Recommendations for Comey's Firing Was Actually Written by Dr. Harold Bornstein Late Thursday evening, Sandia Lab scientist, Dr. Irwin Corey announced the results of his analysis of Acting...
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Funny story: Dyson sucks hot air out of Europe!

Dyson sucks hot air out of Europe!

Sir James Dyson and his vacuum cleaners have been at war with their European competitors over suction! He claims his cleaners suck better than German ones, and that even before Brexit! Sir James is out to prove to the rest of Europe that Brit suck...
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Funny story: Carrot Top Declines FBI Director Job

Carrot Top Declines FBI Director Job

The ideal candidate to lead the FBI has turned down the job, citing his gig in Las Vegas and the implosion of the Trump presidency as the reasons. But Washington insiders tell this reporter that Carrot Top, AKA Scott Thompson, felt slighted by Republ...
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Funny story: Pot Cloud that Formed Over Bethel, NY During the 1969 Woodstock Festival Making It's Way Back to the Hudson Valley

Pot Cloud that Formed Over Bethel, NY During the 1969 Woodstock Festival Making It's Way Back to the Hudson Valley

Meteorologists are predicting a late July, early August return of a unique pot cloud that formed during the three day Woodstock festival in Bethel, NY. The cloud was carried off by the jet stream after the concert concluded and eventually ended up in...
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Funny story: "Impeachment Boat" is DizzyLand's Popular New Ride

"Impeachment Boat" is DizzyLand's Popular New Ride

Dystopian theme park DizzyLand has added a President Trump inspired Impeachment Boat to their diverse lineup of fun and satirical rides. Now it's the most popular ride at DizzyLand and the top search term in the San Diego area. As this reporter en...
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Funny story: Bodybuilder Squeezes Coal Between Butt Cheeks to Create Diamonds

Bodybuilder Squeezes Coal Between Butt Cheeks to Create Diamonds

Forget buns of steel, champion bodybuilder Debi Lou Byrd has set a world precedent for any athlete: her buns can literally squeeze coal into diamonds. Debi's Diamonds are very small and not up to gem quality and so the diamond industry has barely...
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Funny story: Man Convinced Traffic Lights Are Rigged

Man Convinced Traffic Lights Are Rigged

Determined to explain why he showed up late to work again, Larry Michaels, a department manager at Sears, convinced himself last Tuesday that traffic lights are rigged against him. "I feel like the traffic lights are conspiring to slow me down. I...
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Funny story: Burgers to be banned on UK buses!

Burgers to be banned on UK buses!

Smokers, alcoholics and people who don't pay their fares on UK buses are banned. Profane language and fighting on buses is banned too along with Grannies forcing young smartphone addicts to give up their seats! However, it seems that UK bus compan...
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Funny story: Ray Wilkins recognised as cultural icon

Ray Wilkins recognised as cultural icon

Time magazine has just released their list of most influential people 2017. Amongst the world's most influential creative artists, musicians and political activists is a name unfamiliar with a large number of people around the world. The decision to...
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Funny story: Val Kilmer Gets In Shape For Top Gun 2

Val Kilmer Gets In Shape For Top Gun 2

Executive producer and star of Top Gun 2, Tom Cruise, says there may be a part for Val Kilmer in the follow up the the 1986 classic. "I'm sure we can find a cameo for Val, we would have written him in as something, but no one even realized he was...
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Funny story: Jay Cutler vows to work just as hard in the press booth as he did on the field

Jay Cutler vows to work just as hard in the press booth as he did on the field

Immediately after it was announced that Jay Cutler would be joining the Fox Sports broadcasting team, Cutler was seen taking a puff off his cigarette and giving a smug grin. When asked if he planned to put all of his efforts into his new career, C...
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Funny story: Athisis goddess statue removed in Bangore after Jaboody outcry

Athisis goddess statue removed in Bangore after Jaboody outcry

Space news- The statue of a female Athisis goddess was removed from the Bangore Supreme Court complex, after an outcry from the religious Jaboody. The sculpture of Arena - the goddess of sex - wearing a toga was donated, but the Jaboody religious...
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Funny story: Annie Less-beyond joins NUTS

Annie Less-beyond joins NUTS

Space news- Annie Less-beyond says she joined the few, the proud and the lonely of NUTS, New Ultimate Test Subjects. "Ever since I can remember, the desire to join this group of elite people has set me apart from society," states Less-beyond.
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Funny story: Brad Pitt no longer hot enough to continue acting

Brad Pitt no longer hot enough to continue acting

Hollywood - Brad Pitt has revealed that he is no longer hot enough to be a Hollywood hunk and will therefore be shortly taken out behind a barn and shot. "We always knew this day would come," said Pitt's longtime publicist. "Brad is not aging wel...
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Funny story: Male feminist couldn't take the heat

Male feminist couldn't take the heat

Andy Kolpakov, a member of the male feminist septic community is accused of being male and dangerous, for looking the wrong way. There were calls to the police of a peeping Tom on the same block Kolpakov lived on. As he made his way back from a f...
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Funny story: Foreign physicians being recruited as spies and assassins

Foreign physicians being recruited as spies and assassins

Thousands of foreign-trained immigrant physicians living in the United States are being recruited by foreign intelligence agencies to commit assassinations on US intelligence agents and top US scientists. "It's hard to believe, but logistically it...
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Funny story: Trump's Plan to Wear Out Press is Working

Trump's Plan to Wear Out Press is Working

Washington, DC Donald Trump's strategy to wear out the press with story after story appears to be working. "It used to be that you couldn't be away from the Trump News Cycle for more than a day. And that was just during his campaign. After that, y...
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Funny story: New Drug Treats Air Rage

New Drug Treats Air Rage

The new anti-anxiety drug Probenávia has landed in pharmacies just in time for air travelers: airlines and their passengers are all on edge these days as air rage incidents have increased five fold this year. In the search for an answer to the vio...
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Funny story: Man in love with desperate Mexican transgender

Man in love with desperate Mexican transgender

A Syrian man named Abu is believed to be the fattest man alive and he is in love with a Mexican transgender according to celebrity gossip. His weight reached an incredible 500 kilograms and he smells like an old sardine can. Iman Ahmad Abdulati,...
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Funny story: Trump Consents to Host "Who is the Stupidest Person Ever?" TV Show

Trump Consents to Host "Who is the Stupidest Person Ever?" TV Show

Hollywood is very excited about a brand new program Fox is developing. It's about really stupid people and Fox is sure it will appeal to a great number of the American people. "It's very obvious America is into stupid people. From the most recent...
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Funny story: Hillary's famous Everest step kicked off by a Yeti!

Hillary's famous Everest step kicked off by a Yeti!

Edmund Hillary's infamous famous last step on Everest seems to have disappeared into thin air rather like Neil Armstrong's "first step" on the moon was blasted into space fantasy and never seen again. However, the cause of Hilary's step disappearance...
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Funny story: Frail grandma eaten by cats

Frail grandma eaten by cats

Neighbors said it was just a matter of time before Mabel became a victim of a violent attack. Raised in a rural town near Tonsillmania, locking the the doors and windows at night was not a priority. But perhaps it is now. Grandaughter Matt...
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Funny story: Romanian gang teaches mice to steal

Romanian gang teaches mice to steal

Romania- In an unusual case, a mouse was seen carrying a €100 euro note in its mouth which drew the attention of a homeless man in Bucharest, Romania. Mice running away with fruits or snack items from stalls is a common sight, but stealing money...
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Funny story: Lesbian festival hits London

Lesbian festival hits London

Lesbians in London Festival will run from 24 June to 9 July, with the official opening at Tate Britain which celebrates their new exhibition Lesbian & Hope. They will be hosting various events across London like the dunking for squids tourname...
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Funny story: Highly evolved Germans analyze Mexicans

Highly evolved Germans analyze Mexicans

The German Council of the MIE, Most Intelligent Elite, an organization of gifted Germans is discussing statistical data concerning illegal Mexicans. The data shows Mexican DNA traits to be prone to violence and to retarding the human gene pool in...
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Funny story: Perry Mason Completes Sex Change Surgery

Perry Mason Completes Sex Change Surgery

The wish Perry Mason has been asking for all his life has arrived! HotDog.com has exclusively discovered that the former cabaret dancer and singer recently underwent full gender reassignment surgery, and is now legally considered a woman. He c...
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Funny story: Gayle Newland is accepted in UK survivor

Gayle Newland is accepted in UK survivor

Its the Survivor moment fans have been waiting for-- an eight year reality TV survivor, starring Gayle Newland. Newland will spend eight years stuck on a tropical Island with several gorgeous women in a Kardashian style TV reality series. It'...
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Funny story: Poo comparison website makes a splash

Poo comparison website makes a splash

A "webshite" based in the Philippines has recently become popular in the West, particularly in Germany where excrement is a common topic of conversation. It is a free-to-join social networking site, that describes itself as "a place for exploring...
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Funny story: Highly evolved Germans analyze human sex

Highly evolved Germans analyze human sex

Royal Society- "Human reproductive behavior is a biological process not an ideological one," says the German Council of the MIE, Most Intelligent Elite, an organization of gifted Germans. The MIE are a logical group, deciding their actions on com...
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Funny story: Pakistan is infected with demons

Pakistan is infected with demons

A Pakistani farmer has claimed to have seen the legendary sperm-sucking incubus after it was terrorising his neighbors. The creature was reportedly hunted down by the man, known only as, Mohsin Akhtar Kayani, with a pitchfork when it stalked into...
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Funny story: Crazy woman worked for the SOE agency

Crazy woman worked for the SOE agency

Spy News: It has come to the attention of the DR Congo that a crazy woman was enlisted with the British SOE in 1990 whilst working as a lingerie model and craving long black sausage. The SOE was never dissolved according to M16 officials. She...
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Funny story: Gay man shares nightmares with QB magazine

Gay man shares nightmares with QB magazine

Eric Henry spoke out in an interview with QB magazine for the first time to discuss the nightmares he experienced as a child which molded his life and made him the person he is today. At the age of 12 he was diagnosed with Sleep Paralysis that re...
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Funny story: Aristocratic nutter on the lose in La La Land

Aristocratic nutter on the lose in La La Land

Richard John Frankenstein, 7th Earl of Lucan and renowned Satanist, is being sought by police on suspicion of crimes against nature. Authorities believe he mixed the genes of a zoo gorilla, his daughter, and cadavers to create two living abominati...
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Funny story: William Shakespeare questions patriotism

William Shakespeare questions patriotism

William Shakespeare famed writer and former father of poor Yorick said in an interview with Sally Piggs that his dismissal from his former life has put into question the true definition of patriotism. Alas, poor Shakespeare! We knew him, Horatio:...
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Funny story: Lesbian incorporates dance move during prison performance

Lesbian incorporates dance move during prison performance

Be Be See News: A leading choreographer has accused Lizzy the lesbian of "borrowing" a dance move, after the Butch Dike dancer launched a charity performamce in the Banger Prison, in Liverpool. The dance resembles a rodeo horse ride. According...
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Funny story: Highly evolved Germans argue against Indian courts

Highly evolved Germans argue against Indian courts

The German Council of the MIE, Most Intelligent Elite, an organization of gifted Germans is arguing against India's Supreme Court and their decision to question the practice of instant divorce, a muslim practice that adheres to the evolutionary proce...
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Funny story: 2017 ACM Awards Best Dressed

2017 ACM Awards Best Dressed

The 2017 American Music Awards red carpet was exquisitely Psychedelic. The award show gave us such an iconic fashion moment- think Desperate Woman. For the most unusual telecast, the look for Desperate Woman ran the gamut-from pop glam, to roc...
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Funny story: M16 Declassifies Extensive File On The Trotter Family

M16 Declassifies Extensive File On The Trotter Family

LONDON- The M16 declassified the former Foreign Secretary's voluminous file on the Trotter family, after much hesitation, sources revealed Tuesday. "An astonishing 5,0170 documents show that the London Trotter family were of important interest to...
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Funny story: Jack Reach Around is Third Movie in Reacher Series

Jack Reach Around is Third Movie in Reacher Series

Jack Reacher returns to the screen in the third movie adaptation of a Lee Child novel. Leading man, Tom Cruise, takes us on a scary ride in this much darker and grittier follow up to the popular series. !Spoiler Alert! This time, in Jack Reach...
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Funny story: British parliament to employ Watson to prevent deviancy

British parliament to employ Watson to prevent deviancy

The British parliament is ready to implement a crime prevention program that employs several thousand Watson computers that will serve as legal counsel for British citizens that walk the streets. After having success with the CCTV security system...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Un seeking proctologist to remove missile

Kim Jong Un seeking proctologist to remove missile

NK - After last weeks failed missile launch hit Kim Jong Un in the buttocks, he has been issuing coded messages. The NSA has finally decoded the messages. Dr. D. Phase of the NSA pubic relations department held a press conference today to relea...
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Funny story: Brit racehorse becomes best seller painter!

Brit racehorse becomes best seller painter!

After a successful career as a racehorse, and before ending up as a pot of glue, Metro the horse decided to start a career as a painter. His new owners, who really did not want to send him to the knackers yard, observed Metro whilst trotting aroun...
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Funny story: Moving Vans Pulling Up In Back Of White House

Moving Vans Pulling Up In Back Of White House

It wasn't the sound of mid-night footsteps coming down the hall that made Trump itchy for action, oh no, it was the three moving vans that suddenly appeared in the moonlight that caught his eye. The secret service insisted that there were no movin...
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Funny story: US TV has no new ideas so they are rebooting Roseanne and others!

US TV has no new ideas so they are rebooting Roseanne and others!

The dearth of new ideas hanging over US TV has forced them to reboot old, loved series including the ageing original cast of Roseanne. In fact, the kids from then look so old now it makes one wonder how they are going to WOW the public once again!...
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Funny story: France bans skinny models and replaces them with fatties!

France bans skinny models and replaces them with fatties!

France has decided enough is enough! No, not food, but skin and bones rattling down catwalks instead of 'normal people'! So skinny models in France will no longer be seen (or not seen because they are so thin when they turn sideways they become invis...
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Funny story: Jose Mourinho buys 500 new players!

Jose Mourinho buys 500 new players!

After the mega success of Manchester United in the Europa League, Jose Mourinho, has decided he needs to strengthen his squad and has handed CEO, Ed Woodward, a list of 500 players he wants! The media circus around United is going bananas speculat...
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Funny story: Maine coming to Broadway

Maine coming to Broadway

Broadway, get ready for some magic. Maine is coming to town. The Maine theatrical creators of the hit play 'The Bully and the Cursed Child' are in exclusive talks with the Bollywood Theatre Group to bring the show to The Link Theater in New York.
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Funny story: Last Man Standing Cancelled Due to Cast Fight

Last Man Standing Cancelled Due to Cast Fight

Tim Allen stars in ABC'S Last Man Standing, a sitcom that has suddenly been cancelled despite consistently high ratings for six seasons. Speculation has run rampant as to why ABC pulled the plug on its most popular current sitcom. The most comm...
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Funny story: Country Singer Toby Keith Hopes Not to Incite Arabians to Riot

Country Singer Toby Keith Hopes Not to Incite Arabians to Riot

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia Donald Trump is taking one of the only acts that would play at his Inauguration, Country-alt singer Toby Keith, to play to an all-men's concert. "We're not sure if we could pick a more inadequate act to play to this hyped up m...
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Funny story: Elvis Comes Back As Andy Kaufman Impersonator

Elvis Comes Back As Andy Kaufman Impersonator

Las Vegas - Elvis sightings in Las Vegas are nothing new, in fact they are a nightly occurrence. So it is not surprising that a new act with someone who looks just like Elvis would show up and imitate Andy Kaufman. "Its an amazing act," said Elean...
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Funny story: Once-popular Girls' Names Now Bomb with Newborns' Parents

Once-popular Girls' Names Now Bomb with Newborns' Parents

Somewhere Over the Rainbow, USA -- After Olympics swimmer Bruce ("The Deuce") Jenner, Breakfast of Champions, announced his new identity as a "woman" named Caitlyn, the name has become more unpopular with parents of newborns than any other girls' nam...
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Funny story: New Study Determines Teenagers Are Not Getting Enough Sleep In Math Class

New Study Determines Teenagers Are Not Getting Enough Sleep In Math Class

A new research study published by the University of Eastleigh proved that teenagers aren't getting enough sleep in their math classes. Dr. Berns, the leading researcher on the project, explained: "Many teenagers struggle from a lack of sleep. Aft...
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Funny story: Well known UK supermarket chain invite rats to shop till they drop!

Well known UK supermarket chain invite rats to shop till they drop!

One of UK's largest supermarkets have decided to open their doors to a horde of rats! Instead of attempting to poison them, the supermarket feels rats are a perfect way of ridding the place of discarded food thrown away because the date of purchase h...
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Funny story: Illuminati Denies Any Connection to the Trump Clan

Illuminati Denies Any Connection to the Trump Clan

Head of the Illuminati, David Rockefeller, denied that the Illuminati would ever have anything to do with Trump, his Cabinet, or his family. "The Illuminati, if it did exist, would never stoop to the level of supporting wannabe tinhorn dictators.
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Funny story: Russian Agent Posing as Sign Language Translator Hypnotized Americans to Vote for Trump

Russian Agent Posing as Sign Language Translator Hypnotized Americans to Vote for Trump

Washington - In a shocking development pertaining to the ongoing FBI and Congressional investigation into Russian tampering in the U.S. Presidential election, a sign language translator used by the Trump Campaign in several nationally televised campa...
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Funny story: Diane Abbott filmed with mystery object on the Antiques Roadshow

Diane Abbott filmed with mystery object on the Antiques Roadshow

Mystery solved, professed a grateful Diane Abbot after an Antiques Roadshow expert revealed that the 'strange' object she had taken along was an abacus. The rustic framework and collection of counters were identified as being a vintage counting fr...
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Funny story: Chicken Little: In fowl trouble

Chicken Little: In fowl trouble

They crossed the footbridge over the creek that ran along the boundary of what, years ago, had been one of the nation's, some said the world's, largest chicken ranches. Now much of it had reverted to sage brush and other desert plants. Today, reduced to a small farm, only one of the chicken coops remained standing, next to the large barn. That was where they found the man they were looking for.
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Funny story: Paris Jackson says her dad's nose was beautiful in the nude!

Paris Jackson says her dad's nose was beautiful in the nude!

Whacko's daughter, Paris, seemingly to be much more sensible than her namesake, claims that nudity is beautiful and the only part of her dad's body ever seen nude in public, his nose, was beautiful too! Paris, who does not reside in the Hilton, b...
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Funny story: Meals on Wheels is Feeding People

Meals on Wheels is Feeding People

Savanna, Georgia - As previously reported in the Main Stream Your a Nation here the Meals on Wheels program is short on money to buy food. As Betty Doogooder reported many of the hungry relying on the food delivery service are poor, sick, blind...
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Funny story: Feathered, flying dinosaur is genetically related to Theresa May!

Feathered, flying dinosaur is genetically related to Theresa May!

Chinese scientists researching a dinosaur egg have made an amazing discovery! Its DNA is the same as Theresa May's! The egg seems to be that of a feathered, flying dinosaur, that hovered, attacked and ruled over the planet millions of years ago. B...
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Funny story: Napoleon Invades France

Napoleon Invades France

Napoleon Bonaparte known by his street name "B" has once again scored big by invading his own country. Clearly unable to resist the sight of a pile of shiney stuff, "B" went all out by planning a trip to Rome. When it was pointed out that Rome...
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Funny story: Trump's Albino Raccoon Hairpiece Was Source Of Leaked Secrets

Trump's Albino Raccoon Hairpiece Was Source Of Leaked Secrets

BILLINGSGATE POST: The sun rose earlier than expected at the White House. Even the prickly pears were more prickly. The frantic search for the source of leaks emanating from the White House had put everyone on edge. Long-time Secret Service agent S...
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Funny story: Trump Shared Nuclear Codes With Russians

Trump Shared Nuclear Codes With Russians

Showing that he can give and take when dealing with other world leaders, President Trump revealed the nations nuclear launch codes to the Russian ambassador while bragging about the US's nuclear capability. A concerned person who was in the room w...
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Funny story: Discovery: Delivered to Wrong Address... Purloined

Discovery: Delivered to Wrong Address... Purloined

TiVo 2 Circle Star Way San Carlos, CA 94070 May 11th 2017 El Presidente Donaldo Juan Trump La Casa Blanca 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington D.C. 20050 Dear SEŇOR SUPREME Presidente Trump, This is to confirm our oral contract of May 9th, 2017, where our corporation agrees to pay $25,000.00 to th...
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Funny story: Donald Trump and Birth Certificates...An Untold Tale

Donald Trump and Birth Certificates...An Untold Tale

If you thought Donald Trump was obsessed with the issue of Barack Obama's birth certificate, then let's set the record straight. His preoccupation with official birth documents goes way back, and it is best illustrated by an event in his own household some years ago. When Donald Trump, Jr., turned nine, the first born son of the real estate tycoon asked his father if he could have a model train...
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Funny story: World Leaders Cancel Trump Visits

World Leaders Cancel Trump Visits

In a startling development, the leaders of Saudia Arabia, Israel, and the Pope all cancelled visits by Donald Trump. "We've banned Donald Trump like he wants to ban Muslims" said King Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud of Saudia Arabia. "If he tries to...
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Funny story: Trump Introduces New 'Fart Code'

Trump Introduces New 'Fart Code'

Since taking office, President Donald Trump has signed over 43 executive orders. Today he has added to that tally by signing another and possibly his most controversial and bizarre to date. The executive order bans the word 'Trumped 'from bein...
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Funny story: Standing on one leg prolongs life say Flamingos!

Standing on one leg prolongs life say Flamingos!

Scientists have been interviewing flamingos whilst standing on one leg in Africa because they wanted to know what the health benefits are. Chief flamingo, Pinky, told scientists, "we do it because it preserves energy and therefore we live longer!"...
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Funny story: Hollyweird's Hottest: Brooke Shields

Hollyweird's Hottest: Brooke Shields

Brooke Shields was born of Teri (nee Schmon), her husband, Frank, providing the sperm. A "human mutt, and a bitch, at that," as she calls herself, Shields comes of Italian, French, Irish, English, German, Scotch, and Welsh bloodlines. (Her ancestors really got around and, apparently, got along well with virtually everyone.) She claims her lineage includes various royals and nobles, but neither...
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Funny story: UFO Scandal: Trump Had Putin Assassinated?!

UFO Scandal: Trump Had Putin Assassinated?!

So now, we finally know what was all the mystery behind Jared Kushner's Russia connection. It turns out that he was trying to get in contact with his Russian mercenaries at the Kremlin. He'd lost touch with them, you see? Something went technically w...
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Funny story: Hollyweird's Weirdest: Ray Bradbury

Hollyweird's Weirdest: Ray Bradbury

Ray Douglas Bradbury, the spawn of Esther (nee Moberg) Bradbury and her husband, Leonard Spaulding Bradbury, is descended from a witch, Mary Bradbury, who was tried, convicted, and sentenced to be hanged in Salem, Massachusetts. However, using witchcraft, she escaped the noose and lived to age 85. Bradbury's warped view of the world was inspired by her example, he said, attributing his macabre fan...
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Funny story: Thank You, Bravo, Merci France

Thank You, Bravo, Merci France

May 7th, France voted for freedom, tomorrow and the future. France is a place on the map rich for its history, elegance, creativity and food. France also recognizes climate change and that clean air isn't negotiable. Thank you France for cr...
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Funny story: Trump's Tax Returns Found in Uber Car--Investments Revealed

Trump's Tax Returns Found in Uber Car--Investments Revealed

A sheepish White House finally revealed why President Trump has refused to release his tax returns. Apparently his tax returns were forgotten by his accountant in the trunk of an Uber vehicle in 2015. The White House has confirmed that the Presiden...
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Funny story: Car boot sale diamond worth 300K found in filthy ashtray!

Car boot sale diamond worth 300K found in filthy ashtray!

Car boot sales can sometimes surprise people and in this particular instance, it certainly did! A piece of costume jewellery purchased at a car boot sale 30 years ago for a tenner has been found wrapped in sticky chewing gum paper in a filthy asht...
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Funny story: Rantasia

Rantasia

Who the hell do you think you are anyway? Are you the only one in the world that has places to go people to see, no time for this, no time for that? YOU couldn't be more WRONG, but there's more, so much more… Tell me mister man, WHY when we had ALL been safely wedged into our airline seats, YOU decided that YOU no longer want to sit next to the burbing, flatulating man eating an onion sandwich?...
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Funny story: Special prosecutor Arnold Buggerovski appointed to Trump investigation

Special prosecutor Arnold Buggerovski appointed to Trump investigation

Mr. Arnold Walker Buggerovski has been appointed special prosecutor to investigate Mr. Trump's alleged ties to Russian influence in the recent election, plus other matters. Despite Russian ancestry, Mr. Buggerovski has had a nearly saintly career...
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Funny story: Redevised Fairy Tale: Allicia's Misadventures in Auz. [Auzmania]

Redevised Fairy Tale: Allicia's Misadventures in Auz. [Auzmania]

PROLOGUE - Once upon a time there were two little girls who grew up as friends and classmates in the country of Auzmania. Despite their close friendship,the girls were very much unalike. Alicia was caring, cooperative and a loyal friend to all who knew her. Snow, on the other hand, was devious, manipulative and her friendship was shallow. Both were very bright and they were the most attractive gir...
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Funny story: Trump to 'Abdicate'?

Trump to 'Abdicate'?

WASHINGTON, D. C. At today's briefing, press secretary Sean Spicer, responding to a question about the possibility of a presidential resignation, offered this terse reply, "Donald Trump does not intend to abdicate." Spicer's surprising choice of wor...
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Funny story: Man divorces his sex doll because it chatters too much!

Man divorces his sex doll because it chatters too much!

A US sex toy developer who designed the first talking sex robot has had to take back a prototype because during sex with a client, it chattered non-stop! A Californian male (they're all sex mad and nutters) purchased the prototype after divorcing...
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Funny story: Trump Announces New Foreign Tour to Begin Immediately

Trump Announces New Foreign Tour to Begin Immediately

Washington, DC Trump's Deputy's Deputy Press Secretary, the only one not traveling with him, announced today that Trump and his entourage will not be returning to the United States yet. They have decided, since they are already in the Europe/Asia...
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Funny story: Secret Basement Dungeon Found in Trump Tower

Secret Basement Dungeon Found in Trump Tower

New York, NY A rental manager showing new tenants around the Trump Tower, took a wrong turn and ended up seeing a medieval type dungeon in the basement. "I was just showing the tenants around and was looking to show them the exercise room. We made...
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Funny story: Cheese-rolling new Olympic sport!

Cheese-rolling new Olympic sport!

Brits are renowned for their eccentric pastimes, and now one particular event has caught the minds of Olympians, Cheese Rolling! Normally, practiced on a small hill somewhere in Gloucester, and enjoyed by thousands of Nutters watching the spectacl...
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Funny story: Britain's homeless population relieved to hear Prince Philip still alive and well

Britain's homeless population relieved to hear Prince Philip still alive and well

Downtrodden vagrants all over the UK have breathed a collective sigh of relief to hear that one of their beloved overlords is still alive after rumours of his death spread like wildfire. "Thank goodness he's all right," said one emaciated wretch w...
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