Funny story: Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol

Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol

Schmidt & Weissen, a major gun manufacturer in the US, is developing a bidirectional pistol. Paul Gant of Schmidt & Weissen says, "This is the only gun I'd recommend to scumbags and known gang members." The police have mixed feelings about...
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Funny story: Local schools discover an epidemic of benign spots

Local schools discover an epidemic of benign spots

It all started in a local elementary school. The teachers noticed that several students were covered with spots. Debbie Westmoreland of Springfield Elementary said, "All I know was that at least four of my girls were covered with spots." The stud...
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Funny story: Animal Rights Activist Cuts Off Own Arm and Cooks It

Animal Rights Activist Cuts Off Own Arm and Cooks It

An animal rights activist is recovering in the psychiatric wing of the local hospital after cutting off her own arm and eating it. The patient, who asked to remain anonymous, said she just wanted to know what suffering animals go through. The...
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Funny story: Activist Vandals Create Earth-Sized Bandage

Activist Vandals Create Earth-Sized Bandage

[PP]- A group of vandals broke into a factory which manufactures health supplies and created a bandage large enough to fit around the entire globe. The World Activist Front takes credit for this stunt, saying that the world is sick and someone mu...
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Funny story: Trump: It's your wall...literally!

Trump: It's your wall...literally!

At a Trump rally attended by the hordes of hillbillies, rednecks, and cracker-heads that constitute President Trump's base, the Commander-In-Chief released his newest plan to build the infamous border wall between the U.S. and Mexico. "I was watch...
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Funny story: Ivanka Trump Blasts "Cruel and Vicious" Media Reports of Family Vampirism and Abuse

Ivanka Trump Blasts "Cruel and Vicious" Media Reports of Family Vampirism and Abuse

As she bit the head off of a chinchilla and drank its blood, Ivanka Trump called out the media for what she sees as harsh treatment of her father. "Some of the stories about my family I won't even dignify with a comment--I just can't believe the v...
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Funny story: Woman: PlumMart said to purple up or leave

Woman: PlumMart said to purple up or leave

Fuchsia, Purplonia [PP] -- An Earthling woman says she was told to put a purple shirt over her orange top while shopping at PlumMart or leave the store. Amber Green told The Tentacle Times she was shopping at a Fuchsian PlumMart with her sister la...
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Funny story: Two students suspended over using their initials on a group assignment

Two students suspended over using their initials on a group assignment

Felicia Underwood and Cindy King were suspended from Squaresville High over placing their initials on their joint assignment. Underwood placed F. U. on the paper, followed by King placing C. K. on the paper. According to them, they gave it no thought...
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Funny story: Faecal slime monster Gove to rejoin UK cabinet

Faecal slime monster Gove to rejoin UK cabinet

After almost a year in exile on the back benches, faeces-covered slime monster Michael Gove has returned to a UK government position. He was fired from the cabinet last year for attempting to osmose Boris Johnson. When asked how he had spent the last...
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Funny story: Swarm of bees make honey in a UK Nissan!

Swarm of bees make honey in a UK Nissan!

In Yorkshire, UK, the world turns slightly different and one of their main ports, Hull, seems to have gone "Bee Shape" as a swarm of bees decided to make honey in a Japanese Nissan. The bees were evacuated from their normal home due to lack of bus...
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Funny story: Prominent 80's rappers hold press conference apologizing for early hits

Prominent 80's rappers hold press conference apologizing for early hits

[PP] -- Cool Man, Smooth G, and other prominent rappers of the 80's held a press conference apologizing for their early hits. "I am embarrassed that I took this stage name," said Cool Man. "We thought we were cool back in the day, but we were real...
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Funny story: Town of 'Nice' Has Unusual Crime Spree

Town of 'Nice' Has Unusual Crime Spree

Amanda Jenkins had quite surprise. Her purse was missing. But some stranger returned her purse with much more money than she had before, and even recharged her phone and replaced the broken compact she carried. "I was worried someone had stolen my pu...
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