There were 165 spoof news stories published in June 2017. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Should Mermaids Make More Money Than Mermen?

Should Mermaids Make More Money Than Mermen?

"Absolutely not," said one merman. "I mean, mermaids are a dime a dozen, not rare or unique at all, so they just deserve a standard rate, right?" He continued, "Mermen, on the other hand, are unique and rare, and deserve to be paid premium rates."...
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Funny story: 132-Year-Old Lobster Sues, Claims Elder Abuse

132-Year-Old Lobster Sues, Claims Elder Abuse

Onlookers rejoiced recently when Louie the lobster, having lived the last 30 years of his life in a tank at a Long Island restaurant, was finally set free and returned to the ocean. But Louie is not a totally happy camper and has revealed that he...
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Funny story: Budget airline introduce sexy "lap-dance" sessions to increase revenue!

Budget airline introduce sexy "lap-dance" sessions to increase revenue!

Budget flights to and from Ibiza, Mallorca and other Brit, booze hotspots, are now offering a special form of activity on board! No more pathetic scratch cards, fast food over-priced snacks, rubbish tasting coffee or duty-free perfumes. No, for th...
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Funny story: Police raid BBQ party because kids were playing Cowboys and Indians!

Police raid BBQ party because kids were playing Cowboys and Indians!

Hertfordshire UK: Police stormed a BBQ party after a nosy neighbour complained about the stench of burning meat; she's a vegan! However, initially the police ignored her call for help because there ain't no law against BBQing dead meat (well not yet...
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Funny story: Woman's Bad Breath Kills Seven on Tourist Train

Woman's Bad Breath Kills Seven on Tourist Train

A Denver woman accidentally killed seven fellow passengers with her bad breath while aboard a popular sightseeing train ride on the border of New Mexico and Colorado. Passengers on the J&O Tours train started screaming and passing out when Thi...
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Funny story: Non-potty trained Brit kids cause crisis in kindergartens!

Non-potty trained Brit kids cause crisis in kindergartens!

Modern day mums seem to be losing the basics of bringing up their loved ones because kindergartens all over the country are being confronted with a nappy invasion! Children, even up to the ripe old age of nine have been discovered wearing nappies!...
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Funny story: Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol

Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol

Schmidt & Weissen, a major gun manufacturer in the US, is developing a bidirectional pistol. Paul Gant of Schmidt & Weissen says, "This is the only gun I'd recommend to scumbags and known gang members." The police have mixed feelings about...
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Funny story: British mum kicked out of garden centre for only wearing banana leaves!

British mum kicked out of garden centre for only wearing banana leaves!

After all it was only 24 degrees celsius but, feeling quite hot and sticky, a mum from Hampshire, UK, (not the posh one in the USA) decided to go shopping in a local garden centre dressed only in banana leaves! The leaves covered her intimate part...
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Funny story: DUI Cops: Tiger Woods Asleep at Wheel of Spaceship

DUI Cops: Tiger Woods Asleep at Wheel of Spaceship

Tiger Woods may be out of the Voyager Tournament as details are emerging in the DUI arrest of the golfing legend: Apparently Woods was passed out and stalled in the fast lane of Intergalactic Highway Q451 West. Intergalactic Highway Police respond...
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Funny story: Joe Hart is a belly-flop hero in Scotland!

Joe Hart is a belly-flop hero in Scotland!

The Oldest international match on the planet was given extra entertainment value as Joe Hart, England goalkeeper, revealed to the world his next goal (very punny); he is training to participate in the next Olympics and hopes to win a gold in the "Bel...
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Funny story: Girl born with purple skin

Girl born with purple skin

[PP] -- Doctors at Regional Hospital are baffled at the birth of an infant with purple skin and green hair. Neither of her parents have such features. According to pediatrician, Dr. Tanya Morgan, the baby seems to be completely healthy, despite he...
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Funny story: Quit Picking On Trump And Trump's Tweets

Quit Picking On Trump And Trump's Tweets

The nation should just plain quit picking on Trump and his tweets! For heaven's sakes! Grow up! What happened to freedom of the press? Doesn't Trump have a right to an opinion? Just because T was allegedly elected to the highest office in the wor...
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Funny story: Alien Cosmetics to produce makeup for purple women

Alien Cosmetics to produce makeup for purple women

Alien Cosmetics just announced its intentions of producing a line of makeup for purple women called Plum Adorable™. According to Purplicia Greene, spokeswoman for Alien Cosmetics, "Purple women have had to do without proper makeup for years...
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Funny story: New robot invented to help stop certain racially-motivated attacks

New robot invented to help stop certain racially-motivated attacks

Spottedville officials have had enough of a sudden increase in specific racially-motivated crimes. According to Mayor Jenny Smith, "You usually don't hear much about anti-white racism, and it isn't politically correct to mention it. We had to do...
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Funny story: Scientists Work On Brain-Ray to Cure Trump

Scientists Work On Brain-Ray to Cure Trump

Science Town, USA Ever since Trump took office, a secret organization, the Scientists for Sanity, have been working on a brain ray for Trump. "We knew right away that there was something seriously wrong with Trump the moment he started campaignin...
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Funny story: O.J. Simpson Wants to Return to Playing Football When Released From Prison

O.J. Simpson Wants to Return to Playing Football When Released From Prison

Lovelock, NV O.J. Simpson, Heisman Trophy winner and double murderer, said he wants to return to football and add to some of his running back statistics. "I know I've screwed up a lot and so that's why I think it would be good for me to get back t...
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Funny story: Can the Internet Cause Hip Problems?

Can the Internet Cause Hip Problems?

Winston-Salem, NC [PP] -- Doctors at Wake Forest Medical Center are perplexed at a sudden increase of problems in patients buttocks. They blame the Internet for the cause, based on the reports of some patients. "I was just laughing away while mess...
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Funny story: Frozen shampoo injures child

Frozen shampoo injures child

Like many young Disney fans, Tiffany Johnson begged her mother to get her the shampoo with Anna and Queen Elsa on the bottle. However, things did not go as expected. First the mother and daughter had difficulty getting the product out of the bott...
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Funny story: Dook University Develops Prescription Cigarette

Dook University Develops Prescription Cigarette

Durham, NC [PP] -- On Monday, Dook University released what may be a first for modern science, a therapeutic cigarette which very well could cure some forms of cancer. Dr. Ralph Jones, director of research says, "This is groundbreaking research, t...
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Funny story: Non wankers website is proving very handy for Tossers!

Non wankers website is proving very handy for Tossers!

A website especially designed for men, not women, to avoid masturbating, is gathering in popularity as it offers males inclined to enter the world of 'tossers' a hands-on method of reducing the temptation! It's called, NOFAP, which nobody on the p...
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Funny story: Baby bungee jumping latest social media craze!

Baby bungee jumping latest social media craze!

Michael Jackson's legacy maybe not be quite so innocent as the world believes as parents on social media sites are "aping" his infamous act of dangling baby Paris out of a German hotel window many years ago! Modern parents viewing the video and se...
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Funny story: Running through wheat fields to be new Olympic Sport

Running through wheat fields to be new Olympic Sport

Following her humiliating defeat at the hands of the British electorate, British Prime Minster Teresa May is looking for a new pastime, to while away the worries of missing important discussions, not turning up for meetings, not having a decent polic...
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Funny story: Heatwave creates innovative methods in how to get some kip!

Heatwave creates innovative methods in how to get some kip!

The heatwave affecting most of Europe has caused many people to create methods of getting some sleep. In fact, such situations sometimes bring out the very best in people (and sadly sometimes the worst!). Here are Jaggedone's methods for UK suffer...
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Funny story: FEMEN damages natural landmark

FEMEN damages natural landmark

Norwegians are collecting money to repair the famous penis shaped rock formation damaged by FEMEN protesters who complained the natural formation promotes sex tourism, sexism, and pregnant women. The popular tourist attraction is located in southe...
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Funny story: Satan Scores a Win at the Supreme Court

Satan Scores a Win at the Supreme Court

In a big win for the church of Satan, the Supreme Court ruled on Monday in favor of Trinity Lutheran Church v. Comer, the Church's case against the state of Missouri. The case involved discrimination by the state in giving out publicly funded grants.
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Funny story: Antisocial behavior vaccine developed

Antisocial behavior vaccine developed

Some call the new vaccine racist, but scientists are starting human trials of a vaccine designed to stop antisocial behaviors. "The police asked us to come up for something to stop the rampant increase in crime. They asked if it were possible to crea...
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Funny story: Secret Audio Tape Reveals GOP Culture of Reporter Body Slamming

Secret Audio Tape Reveals GOP Culture of Reporter Body Slamming

At a GOP auction for bankers and health insurance providers, Paul Ryan was recorded touting the body slamming abilities of certain senators. Apparently the senators and congressmen with the best stats for reporter body slamming auctioned off for the...
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Funny story: British men marry foreign brides

British men marry foreign brides

A controversial entrepreneur has created a fantastic marriage agency to help British men find Eastern European wives with close to 45,000 Britons signing up. Aleister Crowley, 33, is the brains behind FamilyValues.web and aims at improving the gen...
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Funny story: Pro Golfer Kills Moose With Calloway's New Epic Driver

Pro Golfer Kills Moose With Calloway's New Epic Driver

Erin Hills, Wisconsin. Chip Fairway, reporting live from the 117th U.S. Open Golf Tournament. After having my PGA Media credentials reinstated, I am happy to be reporting from a live event for the first time in quiet some time. Through some con...
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Funny story: Gay Characters Might Exist in the MCU, Says Gunn

Gay Characters Might Exist in the MCU, Says Gunn

Comic Book News- Over the last few years, some adult comic book fans have argued for diversity within the Marvel Macrocosm. Prior to the 2017 announcement that the company would be making "Mysterious Panther" and "El Cap-e-tan Marvel Guy," the stu...
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Funny story: Is prostitution natural?

Is prostitution natural?

Not that many people dream of becoming prostitutes. People don't have a favorable attitude of the worlds oldest profession. Many countries ban the act while others allow it in specific locations or only under certain circumstance. Is prostitution...
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Funny story: Innovating Germans reduce crime

Innovating Germans reduce crime

In the first known brothel of its kind, the German government is offering free erotic sessions with sex dolls only to homeless vagrants and immigrants to reduce the number of interactions with women. Why sex dolls? During the 2015/2016 New Yea...
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Funny story: Winnie is really a lesbian

Winnie is really a lesbian

Emerald City News: At the film age of 29, 'Winnie the Hoot,' a cartoon character, was living in Wonderland enjoying a successful career as a porn producer and working with film stars like, Elephant the Destroyer. He had been to the 'Cartoon Oscars...
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Funny story: The British people are tired of political games

The British people are tired of political games

LONDON- Conservatives lose majority in British Parliament, and the public says enough is enough with political games. The outcome - a positive turn for the general public as groups of Brit's join a new political organization, "New Britannia Progre...
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Funny story: Shooting used toothpicks with toothpick crossbows banned in China!

Shooting used toothpicks with toothpick crossbows banned in China!

The Chinese, renowned for their skills at swamping the world's markets with useless, garbage toys, have now "boomeranged" as their own children have been purchasing the latest craze; toothpick crossbows; WTF! Millions of Chinese kids are aiming th...
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Funny story: The Imp condemn Tambo Rooka

The Imp condemn Tambo Rooka

Space News- A 20-year-old Imp from the planet Kangaroo has been sentenced to twenty years hard labor by a court, following the conviction on charges he insulted the prophet Hooter and his wives on Social-Media, officials said Tuesday. Hazmat is th...
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Funny story: How much of an asshole is Donald Trump? Let me count the ways.

How much of an asshole is Donald Trump? Let me count the ways.

With apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning, although she probably would have thought that Trump was an asshole too, as would her husband Robert, and any children they had, had they had any. How much of an asshole is Donald Trump? Let me count the ways: he is an asshole To the depth and breadth and height that fools Can reach, when they're wallowing in a dump. He is an asshole in every li...
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Funny story: Planet Dracon on the verge of war

Planet Dracon on the verge of war

(DRAGNOG STAR) - An anti-Cudisim billboard humiliating the religious leader Jeriba Shigan that can be seen from the southbound lanes of speedway 5-46 on the east side is drawing concern from local Cudist. Cuda and Vagina are the two major religion...
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Funny story: The world of the golden sun

The world of the golden sun

MAGISTER, Battlefield - Lyra has spent more than a decade in mountainous combat zones collecting intelligence for the Gyptian National Army, but nothing could have prepared her for what happened last Friday when the Gobblers carried out their monstro...
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Funny story: Logan's last run in London

Logan's last run in London

Final News: The nuclear attack began Friday at noon and London was gripped with panic as air raid sirens wail. I'm critically injured and this is the last news article available to the world. A subsequent radio broadcast stated that Moscow was eva...
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Funny story: Comey flees to Russia meets Snowden at Sheremetyeov Airport

Comey flees to Russia meets Snowden at Sheremetyeov Airport

Following President Putin's suggestion that Mr. Comey may wish to seek asylum in Russia, former FBI Director James Comey has fled the country. On the way he was able to tweet a response to Putin: "He's right! I did the same thing as Snowden!" T...
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Funny story: Venezuelan prisoners eat pasta with shit!

Venezuelan prisoners eat pasta with shit!

It seems the South American country have changed its dietary plans for inmates locked up in their revolting prisons and have introduced a surprisingly interesting menu for their guests; pasta and shit! Venezuela are not the only country where one...
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Funny story: Dead to rights - Busted, disgusted and not to be trusted!

Dead to rights - Busted, disgusted and not to be trusted!

Among other things, I write detective mystery novels and crime thrillers so I watch a lot of true-crime series. Usually, it's a late-night thing for me and this is how I relax and unwind. After watching one or two of the likes of "Wives with Knives",...
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Funny story: Putin Confesses to US 2016 Election Meddling? Of Course!

Putin Confesses to US 2016 Election Meddling? Of Course!

Earlier today from the Kremlin, Vladimir Putin announced that: Yes, he rigged the voting machines in Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin during the last US presidential election, and did so just to embarrass that NATO-loving, EU supporting, capitali...
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Funny story: NASA forced to reconsider colonizing new planet after aliens report violent attacks

NASA forced to reconsider colonizing new planet after aliens report violent attacks

After restarting the NASA program that lie dormant under the Obama Administration, NASA had finally discovered a planet that was fit for human habitation. They needed volunteers to inhabit the discovered planet. As a condition for funding the project...
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Funny story: SICKmatch.com Eases Stigma of Dating With Rare Diseases

SICKmatch.com Eases Stigma of Dating With Rare Diseases

Gioni Malocutia suffers from Tourette's syndrome, an illness often skewered by comedians, but one that makes it difficult if not impossible to find a mate or even an occasional date in real life. After having zero success on traditional dating sit...
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Funny story: Prominent 80's rappers hold press conference apologizing for early hits

Prominent 80's rappers hold press conference apologizing for early hits

[PP] -- Cool Man, Smooth G, and other prominent rappers of the 80's held a press conference apologizing for their early hits. "I am embarrassed that I took this stage name," said Cool Man. "We thought we were cool back in the day, but we were real...
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Funny story: Fabulous STAR UK tabloid gives their brain-damaged footy readers the latest on the Ronaldo saga!

Fabulous STAR UK tabloid gives their brain-damaged footy readers the latest on the Ronaldo saga!

Now there is no need to tell anybody with an ounce of sense between their ears that Brit Tabloids are full of utter CRAP! However, one particular RAG has taken taking the piss out of it's highly intellectual, intelligent readership, to a new level...
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Funny story: Kathy Griffin Waterboarded by Secret Service

Kathy Griffin Waterboarded by Secret Service

Some Unknown, Very Dark Location Kathy Griffin, who had a video shot of her holding the severed head of Donald Trump, has been located, somewhat. The "Secret Service," who guard the President, have confirmed that she has been taken to a secret locat...
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Funny story: The Sulk Institute Announces the New Universal Vaccination Mandate

The Sulk Institute Announces the New Universal Vaccination Mandate

La Jolla, CA - Lizzy Lackbrain of the Sulk Institute held a major press conference today at noon to announce a new policy that will forever change how mankind protects itself from disease causing organisms. Babys, children and adults will no long...
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Funny story: Man's Right Hand Has 2.5 Million Followers on Twitter

Man's Right Hand Has 2.5 Million Followers on Twitter

Uzia Remsen had dangerous Gibsonopathy* surgery to separate the hemispheres of his brain in an attempt to cure the hundreds of seizures a day that plagued him. Though Remsen no longer suffers from seizures, his right hand has literally taken on a...
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Funny story: Logan escapes Germany Vol. 2

Logan escapes Germany Vol. 2

Logan and Sara, the only two humans left alive on earth after a nuclear war, finally made contact with an alien race in the Milky Way galaxy using radio satellite antennas modified to send and receive quantum particle communications. The aliens g...
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Funny story: Rooney In United Stand-off

Rooney In United Stand-off

International marketing firm and social media gurus, Manchester United, have dropped their biggest hint yet that England Captain Wayne Rooney will be leaving the club. United's record goal scored has spent time on the substitutes bench this season an...
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Funny story: Germany abolishes marriage

Germany abolishes marriage

GERMANY- After heavy thinking and discussions, lasting the whole week, the German parliament (Bundestag) agreed upon a law on Friday that will eliminate all marriage laws in Germany, ending the governments subjugation over it's citizens. The law,...
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Funny story: Queen Elizabeth refuses 6 million pay rise and gives it to the DUP!

Queen Elizabeth refuses 6 million pay rise and gives it to the DUP!

In the absurd, topsy turvy world of inequality called the UK, the Queen has shown some heart for her people by refusing a 6 million pay rise and has donated it to those poor buggars who are licking May's rear end (or vice versa) called the DUP! Qu...
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Funny story: Male impersonator calls it quits

Male impersonator calls it quits

After 3 years, Male impersonator Jane Barley is hanging up her sky diving jumpsuit. Most of her loyal fans have found their way into the obituary. "Nowadays, drugged out teens are into "Jimmy Pop," a teen singer from the music group New Kids on t...
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Funny story: Eleanor Rigby was caught shopping at thrift store

Eleanor Rigby was caught shopping at thrift store

Rochdale- Savoring the huge amount of cheap goods and the Salvation Army's desires to be rid of the old merchandise, Eleanor Rigby, spent the afternoon digging through piles of musky items looking for bargains. Store employees, at the Salvation Ar...
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Funny story: Canadian tornado mows lawn!

Canadian tornado mows lawn!

A Canadian lawn mower who hates mowing his lawn, but forced outside because his wife cannot stand the grass being longer than 6 inches, decided enough is enough, and God provided him with the perfect solution! He started mowing the lawn and notice...
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Funny story: Why are people obsessed with objects?

Why are people obsessed with objects?

The medical classification for people who become attracted to inanimate objects is "objectophilia" or "object-craving." It's considered an embodiment of affection after clinical sociologists Dr. Amy Marsh discovered it's origin to be related to l...
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Funny story: Bill Cosby Trial Changed Furniture Around During Proceedings

Bill Cosby Trial Changed Furniture Around During Proceedings

Pittsburgh, PA Courtroom clerics and bailiffs admit they would move the furniture around every day during the Cosby trial. "We wanted to test and see if he was really blind. And it seems like he found his seat every day without any problems!" spo...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Has Already Broken Numerous Presidential Records

Donald Trump Has Already Broken Numerous Presidential Records

"In analyzing President Trump's term in comparison with other U.S. Presidents, we have found a number of executive office records that Trump has now broken," spoke a history analyst at Northwestern University. The list includes: 1. Most lies ever by a POTUS, beating Ronald Reagan's eight-year total in just eight months. 2. Lamest inauguration ever, with lower attendance than Presi...
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Funny story: Trump Takes Ball and Goes Home at the NATO Conference

Trump Takes Ball and Goes Home at the NATO Conference

Geneva, Switzerland President Donald Trump of the United States attended a NATO Conference and, in his daughter Ivanka's opinion, looked very presidential. Trump was criticized for pushing fellow attendees out of the way to be in front, but Ivan...
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Funny story: New bicycle ride service beats Uber and Lyft

New bicycle ride service beats Uber and Lyft

Phoenix, AZ - According to WedG spokes-person, Streck "The Streak" Baque, WedG's new bicycle ride service is much cheaper that Uber or Lyft. Customers sit on the crossbar. Customers have a choice of facing the peddler or facing the handlebars. A...
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Funny story: Trump Punks World: It's All Just a Reality TV Show Folks

Trump Punks World: It's All Just a Reality TV Show Folks

Completely unknown to the Western world and even our so called "intelligence agencies", it seems the Trump presidency has been a hit reality TV show in Russia and North Korea for an entire year. Trump Fools World is the popular new show produced b...
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Funny story: Russian wolves and bears fight over who owns lost 4 year-old "Mowgli" in Ural forest!

Russian wolves and bears fight over who owns lost 4 year-old "Mowgli" in Ural forest!

Rudyard Kipling could not have written it better! A 4 year-old boy lost in the vast Russian Ural woods has been found alive by search parties scouring the area where he mysteriously wandered off whilst his dad was searching for firewood! After day...
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Funny story: Spellbound Females

Spellbound Females

Aug. 23rd, 1973 two machine-gun carrying criminals entered a bank in Stockholm, Sweden. They held 4 hostages, 3 women and one man; strapped them with dynamite, for 131 hours, until they were finally rescued on Aug. 28th. Strangely enough, during the hostage taking, it was observed that hostages had formed a favorable baffling attitude towards their captors, rather than the rescue team! Psychologis...
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Funny story: Trump's Climate Accord Withdrawal Actually Just Evidence of Alternative Realities

Trump's Climate Accord Withdrawal Actually Just Evidence of Alternative Realities

The presidential address of the Withdrawal of the United States from the Paris Climate Accord has generated a world-wide investigation into the reality Trump originates from, and its implications on the multiverse. Despite evidence from the scien...
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Funny story: Radical process will restore the coal industry to its glory days

Radical process will restore the coal industry to its glory days

Osucit, Japan - Ken Assosuka of the Osucit Power and Light Company held a press conference today to reveal a new process for burning coal that reduces CO2 emissions to zero. The new process captures the CO2 and uses it to carbonate saki, orange juic...
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Funny story: Black rights group sues God over snow

Black rights group sues God over snow

A local activist group files class action suit against God claiming that snow is racist and doesn't meet affirmative action quotas. They reason that if white folks get white snow, other groups should get snow that is closer to their skin colors. S...
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Funny story: US Defense Forces preparing ceremony to pass the Baton of World Leadership to Angela Merkel

US Defense Forces preparing ceremony to pass the Baton of World Leadership to Angela Merkel

After making America great again by abandoning all pretense of world leadership the State Department and the Pentagon are preparing to pass the World Leaders Baton to Germany. In a special ceremony to be held in a specially constructed wall somewh...
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Funny story: Trump Pulls Out (Like His Dad Should Have)

Trump Pulls Out (Like His Dad Should Have)

Donald Trump has pulled the US out of the "Paris Accord" which is a climate saving deal designed to try and keep the planet alive for a few extra weeks. The deal is ratified by 195 different countries and seems to be the only thing the world can agre...
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Funny story: UK cat-loving hoarder nearly drowns in 30 tons of cat poop!

UK cat-loving hoarder nearly drowns in 30 tons of cat poop!

Emergency services were called to a house in North-West London after neighbours observed yowling cats jumping out of windows and running for their nine lives! It seems the rather eccentric owner of 61 cats slipped into a cesspit in the house fille...
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Funny story: Bizarre Bjork Songs Confess Tour Killing Spree

Bizarre Bjork Songs Confess Tour Killing Spree

Reykjavk, Iceland - Authorities at the very small and very cold police station in the Icelandic Capitol are hesitant to drive their ice-mobiles up to the ice castle on the mountain ledge overlooking town, to arrest the queen of the village, avant-gar...
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Funny story: Unemployment Increases by 3.5 Million and What to do?

Unemployment Increases by 3.5 Million and What to do?

This week, President Trump needs to deal with bigger issues than backing out of the Paris Climate Agreement. In early June, over 3.5 million Americans became unemployed. Sources say the government and the media are keeping this issue quiet because it...
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Funny story: Putin denies he is riding on Trumps back to World Domination

Putin denies he is riding on Trumps back to World Domination

Despite secret photographs being leaked to the media of Putin riding Trump in the forests behind his dacha, predictably Putin has categorically denied this and is willing to swear on a stack of bibles that the picture is of another pair out riding. P...
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Funny story: Donald Trump meets with Queen to discuss forming a new government

Donald Trump meets with Queen to discuss forming a new government

Donald Trump is seeking to extend his power-base by putting in a bid to run the British Government, it has been revealed. The American President flew into London, on Air-force one, landing on Buckingham Palace's roof, whilst Teresa May was in ther...
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Funny story: Obama Suffering Midlife Crisis

Obama Suffering Midlife Crisis

Chicago, IL - Former President Barack Obama doesn't know what to do with himself these days. After months of travel and adventure camps, Obama remains without a job or sense of purpose. "Time of my life!" wrote Obama in a recent tweet which was qu...
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Funny story: New vaccine mandate meeting increasing opposition

New vaccine mandate meeting increasing opposition

Central Park- New York,NY - Dog walkers in Central Park are voicing protests to the AMA over the new vaccine pogrom reported on here. Ms. Penny Triever contacted our newspaper to complain about the pogrom which requires citizens to lick the bottom...
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Funny story: Trump: Evidence James Comey Was Double Agent For KGB

Trump: Evidence James Comey Was Double Agent For KGB

BILLINGSGATE POST: Referring to recently released Cold War documents that reveal that former FBI Director James Comey is the son of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, President Trump believes Comey was covertly working for the Soviet KGB. The Rosenbergs we...
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Funny story: In 2017, Big Brother is still a complete waste of your time, says deluded old fool

In 2017, Big Brother is still a complete waste of your time, says deluded old fool

Although it has been running for years, the sociological, financial and whimsical value of Big Brother is still to be decided upon by science. Dr Finkelstein from the Board of Unnecessary Science said: "For years, Big Brother has confused science...
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Funny story: Comey: Trump's Albino Raccoon Hairpiece Could Be Subpoenaed

Comey: Trump's Albino Raccoon Hairpiece Could Be Subpoenaed

BILLINGSGATE POST: Testifying before the Senate Intelligence Committee last week, former FBI Director James Comey swore under oath that he believes President Trump's albino raccoon hairpiece must have been wired during their private meeting last mon...
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Funny story: Florida car burglars literally caught with their pants down!

Florida car burglars literally caught with their pants down!

Two dimwit car burglars in Florida, wearing mandatory butt pants, attempted to burgle a car standing on a lonely parking area 'butt', the burglary went slightly pear-shape as they attempted to escape the scene of the crime! Caught on police CCTV c...
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Funny story: Trump Cites Comey's "Big Hands" As Reason for Firing Former FBI DIrector

Trump Cites Comey's "Big Hands" As Reason for Firing Former FBI DIrector

Congressional investigators announced the discovering of a highly classified memo written by President Trump that explains the 10 reasons why he decided to fire the former FBI Director, James Comey. President Trump listed the 10 reasons in the s...
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Funny story: Cheated & Mistreated

Cheated & Mistreated

Animals enter life fully prepared, with all necessary characteristics and instincts. In other words, they work like a PCM, punched card machine. All expertly and reliably wired up. But, alas, Homo sapiens need to acquire their workable applications externally. Of course, man's mind is not that empty. It's got a hard disk containing many old files, archives, gradually saved throughout centuries, b...
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Funny story: Enough Is Enough - Send Trump Back To Queens

Enough Is Enough - Send Trump Back To Queens

Enough is enough, send the Trump back to Queens. Forget the antiquated Electoral College. More Americans voted for Hillary Clinton than for the guy from Queens. Even with the Russian interference/collusion and the Comey self-serving interference/hyst...
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Funny story: Australian police dog sacked because he was too soft!

Australian police dog sacked because he was too soft!

The world of canines wanting to become police dogs in Australia is tough as the case of Gavel, a Queensland German Shepard proves; he got the boot for being too soft! Gavel went through all the training required, but during certain exercises, he w...
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Funny story: Trump:  "He's a leaker and a freaker and a bathroom peeker!"

Trump:  "He's a leaker and a freaker and a bathroom peeker!"

In a tweet last night and again this morning in a written statement President Donald Trump called former FBI director James Comey... "a leaker and a freaker and a bathroom peeker!"    Trump went on to say in his written statement that it was a mat...
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Funny story: Ivanka Trump in Trouble With Vatican For Reproducing Shroud of Turin on Bikini

Ivanka Trump in Trouble With Vatican For Reproducing Shroud of Turin on Bikini

First Ivanka Trump's fashion company was sued for copying a chastity shoe (left foot only) made by FashionIkon in Transylvania. Now Ivanka Trump Collections™ is in hot water with the Vatican and true believers in the miracle of the shroud of Tu...
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Funny story: Pope considering nuking Australia over Cardinal Pells phedophilia charges

Pope considering nuking Australia over Cardinal Pells phedophilia charges

In a highly secret meeting, the Pope was said to be outraged at the latest pedophile scandal to hit the church, demanding to know why Pell didn't mop this up before he left Australia. It seems time and his track record of deceit and outrage agains...
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Funny story: Colonel Sanders Testifies Before House Intel Committee

Colonel Sanders Testifies Before House Intel Committee

Potentially pitting the President of the United States against the grandfatherly icon of fast food chicken, Colonel Sanders testified before an oxymoronic House Intelligence Committee while a transfixed world watched on television. In the unfoldin...
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Funny story: Brexit negotiations to be held in Disneyland

Brexit negotiations to be held in Disneyland

With politics and fairy tales converging ever faster, it was announced today that Brexit negotiations with the EU are to be held in Disneyland. Meetings will be chaired by the Mad Hatter, with the Seven Dwarfs taking minutes in rotation. Dopey will b...
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Funny story: Trump, Bannon: Democrats Responsible for Leaks from White House

Trump, Bannon: Democrats Responsible for Leaks from White House

Washington - According to tweets last night from Donald Trump as well as a story in Breitbart Real News (formerly Breitbart News), Democrats inside the White House organization are responsible for the many leaks to news organizations like CNN, Washin...
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Funny story: Queen considers Schaller for Knigthood - Prince William declares he's not 15 Hands

Queen considers Schaller for Knigthood - Prince William declares he's not 15 Hands

Scott Schaller, Graphics Design Teacher from Cabrillo HS in Lompoc CA, has been on the "short list" of possible nominees for knighthood in 2017. The honor of Knighthood bestowed on an individual by the Queen brings along the title of Sir. Queen Eliza...
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Funny story: Twitter promotes new Product - Twitter Twatter Weaponised Hysteria™

Twitter promotes new Product - Twitter Twatter Weaponised Hysteria™

Twitter today proudly announced a new product today that they believe will give them the edge on Zuckerburgs Face Space Fake News capability. Twitter management have been concerned recently with falling revenues and saw the success of the other guys...
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Funny story: Swarm of bees make honey in a UK Nissan!

Swarm of bees make honey in a UK Nissan!

In Yorkshire, UK, the world turns slightly different and one of their main ports, Hull, seems to have gone "Bee Shape" as a swarm of bees decided to make honey in a Japanese Nissan. The bees were evacuated from their normal home due to lack of bus...
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Funny story: Dykes On Bikes And Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Withdraw Support For Nancy Pelosi

Dykes On Bikes And Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Withdraw Support For Nancy Pelosi

BILLINGSGATE POST: The San Francisco Chapter of Dykes on Bikes announced today that they were joining with The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in a boycott of Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi. In 1976, a small group of women motorcyclists gathered at th...
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Funny story: Ransom demand for kidnapped snowman ends badly

Ransom demand for kidnapped snowman ends badly

After receiving a note from Swiss racketeers demanding ransom for a kidnapped snowman, organisers of the tenth Annual St.Moritz Snowman Building competition went into meltdown. On the eve of judging, extortionists removed the snowy figure that had...
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Funny story: Governor Christie awakes 200 pounds lighter!

Governor Christie awakes 200 pounds lighter!

Historically obese New Jersey governor Chris Christie awoke hungover and significantly lighter! The now surprisingly normal sized Christie came to in an Atlantic City hotel and was astounded to find himself having lost 200 pounds or roughly 350 Big M...
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Funny story: May may have to hang if she meets DUP's demands!

May may have to hang if she meets DUP's demands!

The world is still in shock after last week's election results in the UK (The World meaning UK's pea minded vision that Brittania still rules the waves). Now Mrs May needs to lunge into bed with the DUP, a Northern Irish party of jurassics. Of cours...
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Funny story: Jeff Sessions Returns to His Elfin Village

Jeff Sessions Returns to His Elfin Village

Embattled US Attorney General Jeff Sessions has left Washington to be with his people in the Village of Pelthor* deep in an Alabama forest. Sessions returns to his stomping grounds as a hometown hero for rising to the level of US Attorney General...
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