There were 196 spoof news stories published in October 2016. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Bill Clinton, Donald Trump Caught in Gay Affair

Bill Clinton, Donald Trump Caught in Gay Affair

Reports have just surfaced of a gay affair between Donald Trump and Bill Clinton Apparently, The Donald grabs more than just pussies. "Yes", confirmed Trump, "my tie has tested positive for Bill's DNA. Really, though, I just wanted to get the st...
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Funny story: Transylvania Recalls Melania Trump While Movement To Deport Her Gains Steam

Transylvania Recalls Melania Trump While Movement To Deport Her Gains Steam

Two new stories about Melania Trump are converging to rock the Trump empire, this is after Donald Trump's failed presidential campaign has already severely damaged the family brand. First the real shocker. Meyer Hallsy of Cryosphere Reanimators...
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Funny story: Trump Confesses: "It was all a hoax."

Trump Confesses: "It was all a hoax."

In an unprecedented TV interview on Fox News this morning, Donald J. Trump shocked the nation by confessing that for the past 18 months he has been a "Democrat in wolf's clothing". As the audience sat in stunned silence, he admitted that he was worki...
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Funny story: I am Hillary's Drug Dealer

I am Hillary's Drug Dealer

To the Editor: I am embarrassed to admit it, and I do so anonymously. I am Hillary Clinton's drug dealer. It is embarrassing not because I am a drug dealer, I am proud of my profession. I have an easy work day, flexible hours, I meet interesting people, there is a whole danger element to my job and my friends think I am cool. But why can't I get cool accounts, like Jay Z or Drake or J...
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Funny story: Trump Considers Dropping Out of Race to Support Johnson

Trump Considers Dropping Out of Race to Support Johnson

New York, NY - As the number of Republican leaders abandoning GOP nominee Donald J. Trump increases, Trump is considering exiting the presidential race and throwing his full support and resources behind Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson. The co...
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Funny story: Trump Adds NDA to Pledge of Allegiance

Trump Adds NDA to Pledge of Allegiance

Always thinking ahead, presidential candidate Donald Trump added a non-disparagement clause to the American Pledge of Allegiance for when he is president. Reciting the new pledge will legally restrict citizens from criticizing Trump, his family or...
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Funny story: Sales Of Tic Tacs Sour On Trump

Sales Of Tic Tacs Sour On Trump

After tapes surfaced where Donald Trump talked about using Tic Tacs before sexually assaulting women, sales of the breath mints have plummeted worldwide. Manny Charenselov, who runs a small newsstand in a downtown Denver office high rise, has noti...
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Funny story: Man gets only one missed call from Mom

Man gets only one missed call from Mom

Local Mom reportedly called her son just once, and hasn't left any messages whatsoever asking him to call her back when he gets this. Fort Wayne, IN - Worried sick, 29-year-old Barry Oldman reported Thursday he got just one missed call from his mo...
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Funny story: Trump Says He Did Not Molest the Women Who Accuse Him-Says They Are too Ugly for Him

Trump Says He Did Not Molest the Women Who Accuse Him-Says They Are too Ugly for Him

Millville, IA Trump, still on the campaign trail, denied allegations by over a dozen women that he sexually harassed and/or assaulted them. "Have you seen these women?" asked Trump. "It would be hard to get a blind man to assault them. Now, look a...
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Funny story: Trump Vows To Ban Arabic Numerals In Case They Have ISIS Sleeper Cell Ties

Trump Vows To Ban Arabic Numerals In Case They Have ISIS Sleeper Cell Ties

In anther appeal to anti-Islamic sentiment republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has stated that he intends to rid the country of Arabic numerals for security reasons. During one of his narcissistic tirades in the middle of a campaign spee...
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Funny story: Trump and Bush Families Compete on Family Feud

Trump and Bush Families Compete on Family Feud

Atlanta, GA - Host Steve Harvey welcomed the Bush and Trump families to the popular television show, Family Feud, which was taped last Friday. The Bush Family was represented by George H.W., George W., George Jr., Jeb! and Billy. The Trump F...
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Funny story: Apple Announces iPhone For Pets

Apple Announces iPhone For Pets

As the market for iPhones becomes saturated, Apple is attempting to tap into another niche market by rolling out reinforced iPhones and iPads for pets. Mike Bursa of team Apple gave a demo and talk at an unveiling party in Palo Alto, CA. Only a fe...
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Funny story: Bob Dylan Secretly Longs For Teen Choice Award

Bob Dylan Secretly Longs For Teen Choice Award

New York, NY - After being announced as the winner of the 2016 Nobel Peace Prize for groovy songs, sources close to legendary songwriter, Bob Dylan, say that all he really wants is a surfboard trophy from the Teen Choice Awards. "Mr. Dylan couldn'...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Is The Boy Who Cried "Wrong"

Donald Trump Is The Boy Who Cried "Wrong"

After being accused of trying to make America Great Again by grabbing another pussy, the man who is trying to break the Guinness Book of world records for the most lies told during a presidential campaign, Donald Trump is crying "Wrong" again! Ju...
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Funny story: Newborns: "We Hate Our Boring Little Hats"

Newborns: "We Hate Our Boring Little Hats"

Hats off to newborns the world over who are staging protests (crying marathons in numerous hospital nurseries) this week against those ugly, tight, style-free hats pulled onto their heads shortly after birth. A Spoof reporter who talks baby talk interviewed a group of babies in a New York hospital to find out more about what's behind this hate-the-hat movement. "Those hats are just plain ugl...
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Funny story: Trump Explains Why He's A Genius to Lose a Billion Dollars

Trump Explains Why He's A Genius to Lose a Billion Dollars

Cairo, IL Continuing on the campaign trail, Republican Party candidate Donald Trump said that even though he was preoccupied at the time by building beautiful buildings, hotels, casinos and other capitalist castles, he PERSONALLY did not lose any mo...
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Funny story: Gossip Writer Insinuates that Famous African-American Comedian Who Lectured Black People Will Play the Race Card

Gossip Writer Insinuates that Famous African-American Comedian Who Lectured Black People Will Play the Race Card

Hollywood, CA An anonymous online gossip columnist noted that a famous comedian who MIGHT be involved in a felony sex scandal once toured black churches and community centers to help uplift the morals of the black community and himself as a community...
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Funny story: Shit-Storm Jacket Introduced By Extreme Weather Outfitter

Shit-Storm Jacket Introduced By Extreme Weather Outfitter

Everest Outfitters, known for their extreme weather gear, introduced a new product this week. Most of their products protect against excessive cold, wet, wind, and heat. Everest became the first company to identify and market to an increasingly pe...
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Funny story: NaNa convenience store at high school career day

NaNa convenience store at high school career day

Representatives for the National convenience store NaNa spread throughout the Logan high school lunch room in their baseball caps and khaki trousers, name tags pinned prominently on their black polo shirt. "We are looking for slackers and sto...
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Funny story: Ex-Girlfriend Probably Just Marrying That Guy to Make You Jealous

Ex-Girlfriend Probably Just Marrying That Guy to Make You Jealous

ASHBURN, VA--While browsing Facebook Tuesday, area man Robbie Harrison stumbled upon the account of ex-girlfriend Carrie Close, replete with postings concerning her wedding next April. After careful consideration, Harrison concluded that Close, with...
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Funny story: The UK to open a its first charity shop in France

The UK to open a its first charity shop in France

On April 1st 2017, Britain will begin life outside of the European Union. The first act is for the UK to open a string of Charity Shops across Europe and the United States. "We will be selling a variety of items," said Foreign Secretary, Bori...
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Funny story: Time Channel is a go

Time Channel is a go

Comcast the communications giant will be debuting the time channel on its generic package featuring a collection of globally placed reporters that will be constantly updating times from every location on the planet. Some will be embedded with tr...
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Funny story: Why the UK has opted for plastic cash

Why the UK has opted for plastic cash

Teresa May has revealed why she asked Mark Carney, the current governor of the Bank of England, to make all future British Currency out of plastic. "We feel," said May, "that these new notes showcase the British Currency perfectly." The initial...
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Funny story: Celebs ticked at Porn Knock-Offs

Celebs ticked at Porn Knock-Offs

Two, to be exact: Tom Cruise and Denzel Washington. Tom Cruise, out promoting his latest "Jack Reacher" fare on the Ricki Lake show, grew furious when he found out there's a new nudie flick called "Jack Reach-around-er", which caters to Gay men.
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Funny story: Future Diwali celebrations to be organized by ISIS!

Future Diwali celebrations to be organized by ISIS!

This weekend's Diwali celebrations all over India have caused more pollution than Chinese factories produce in a year! The WHO measured record levels of air pollution hanging above major cities and declared India an environmental catastrophe! The...
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Funny story: Door to Narnia Discovered in Truck Stop Bathroom

Door to Narnia Discovered in Truck Stop Bathroom

Narnia, long thought to be a mythical place concocted by writer C.S. Lewis, has a newly found entrance in the U.S. A source, speaking only under the cover of anonymity, told this tale. "I was drivin' on an empty highway in North Eastern Califor...
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Funny story: Biden Trump MMA Fight Set For After Election

Biden Trump MMA Fight Set For After Election

Joe "Boxer" Biden and Donald Trump will put words to action when they meet for an MMA match following the presidential election. The Trump campaign has already hired Mickey Goldmill to train The Donald before the match, though Trump has typically...
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Funny story: New York City Cockroach Finally Gets His Own Apartment

New York City Cockroach Finally Gets His Own Apartment

After a lifetime of couch-surfing, squatting in abandoned tenements, and even sleeping in overflowing trash bins when he couldn't find some sympathetic soul to put him up, New York City cockroach Chuck Felsin has finally gotten his own apartment.
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Funny story: New Planet is Actually Peanut Butter on the Hubble Telescope's Lens

New Planet is Actually Peanut Butter on the Hubble Telescope's Lens

Outer Space In retraction of a news flash yesterday about a new planet in our Solar System discovered, astronomers sheepishly admitted that the planet they had discovered and named "New Kid on the Block" after the astronomer's favorite childhood ban...
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Funny story: Brad and Angelina's Children Sue to Be Put in An Orphanage

Brad and Angelina's Children Sue to Be Put in An Orphanage

Los Angeles, CA The children of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have filed suit for emancipation or, at the very least, the right to live in an orphanage or foster home. "We just have to get away. We are so tired of getting our pictures taken and the...
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Funny story: Trump Solves Evil Clown Mystery

Trump Solves Evil Clown Mystery

Donald Trump, Republican candidate for President of the U.S., gave a press conference and announced that he and his team had solved the riddle of where all the evil clowns around the U.S. were coming from. "This is all a plot by Obama and Hillary. The reasons are obvious" said Trump. He then listed the reasons: 1. People will be too scared of evil clowns to go out and vote for Trump. 2. T...
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Funny story: Hillary's bus has a brown-out

Hillary's bus has a brown-out

Gwinnett County - Georgia - According to Sheriff's Deputy Luis Tinksay, a Democratic (sic) National Committee bus unloaded mass quantities of human waste, including poop, piddle, toilette paper, Depends, syringes, condoms, empty dopamine bottles, an...
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Funny story: Roger Goodell Out As NFL Commissioner, To Be Replaced By Donald Trump

Roger Goodell Out As NFL Commissioner, To Be Replaced By Donald Trump

New York, NY-After an emergency meeting between the NFL's 32 owners late last night, a decision has been made to unanimously vote Roger Goodell out of his position of Commissioner and, effective immediately, replace him with Donald Trump. The move ca...
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Funny story: Couple Files for Divorce over Sudden Zodiac Sign Change

Couple Files for Divorce over Sudden Zodiac Sign Change

Fort Lee, NJ - A couple who just celebrated their 30th anniversary has decided to divorce due to a recent change in Zodiac signs. The couple concluded they are no longer compatible due to the recent NASA change, which adds Ophiuchus for birthdays fr...
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Funny story: Angelina Jolie Denies She Broke Up With Brad Pitt to be With Donald Trump

Angelina Jolie Denies She Broke Up With Brad Pitt to be With Donald Trump

Farmersville, PA Donald Trump's publicist admitted that, no matter how much Trump wishes it was true, the story about Angelina Jolie leaving Brad Pitt for Donald Trump is false. When Angelina Jolie was finally reached for a comment, she said, "Don...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton announces she sees dead people

Hillary Clinton announces she sees dead people

Sleepy Hallow - Hillary Clinton held a rally today to a small crowd of some thirty lathargic onlookers. One of them, a renegade reporter from TheSpoof.com, aka Skoob, rudely yelled out a question, causing Hillary to stumble and nearly fall. How...
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Funny story: Trump Talks About How Science Enslaves People

Trump Talks About How Science Enslaves People

Podunk, ND Trump gave a speech today about how he had seen an HBO special in his hotel room about how people were being abused by Science. "On the HBO program I saw how Science had kidnapped people, and how they would make people disconnect from t...
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Funny story: Trump Reveals That If He Loses Election, He Plans to Transform Into Super-Villain and Wreak Havoc on the U.S.

Trump Reveals That If He Loses Election, He Plans to Transform Into Super-Villain and Wreak Havoc on the U.S.

Science City, USA Donald Trump revealed, while visiting a science museum, that while he doesn't believe in a lot of Science things like Global Warming and Evolution and Gravity, he has hired some Science folk to create a super-suit for him. He though...
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Funny story: Self Driving Car Crashes After Texting And Playing Pokemon Go

Self Driving Car Crashes After Texting And Playing Pokemon Go

Self driving cars were supposed to usher in a safe new era of travel for everyone on the road, but in the latest failure of the technology, a Google car has crashed into a police station in Lakewood Co. After analyzing recorders in the car, Google...
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Funny story: Referee throws key block in Packers victory

Referee throws key block in Packers victory

Referee Gordon Lamana threw a wicked game deciding block on Giants defensive back Landon Collins springing Packers wide receiver Jordi Nelson into a clear path to the end zone and the winning score in Monday night's contest. "It was not inten...
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Funny story: God Seen Wearing Vikings Jersey For First Time Since 2009

God Seen Wearing Vikings Jersey For First Time Since 2009

Minneapolis, MN-Following the Minnesota Vikings recent strong start to the NFL season, The Lord himself has been seen wearing a Vikings jersey, something not reported since the 2009 season in which Brett Favre lead the team to the NFC Championship Ga...
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Funny story: Clown Hunting Becoming New National Sport

Clown Hunting Becoming New National Sport

Clown Town, USA Clowns everywhere, even in the ultra-secret clown town, are worried about the clown backlash going on as neo-clowns suit up and then hang around someplace semi-public like a car wash or park and creep everyone out. It doesn't help tha...
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Funny story: Hillary leads Trump in dead fetuses and dead people

Hillary leads Trump in dead fetuses and dead people

New York, NY - The Clinton News Network (CNN) announced today that the election is over, called for Hillary. According to CNN television reporting, early voting by late term aborted fetuses and deceased adults, all of whom died just after voting...
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Funny story: Bernie Sanders Kills It On Colbert with His Deadpan "Endorsement" of Hillary Clinton

Bernie Sanders Kills It On Colbert with His Deadpan "Endorsement" of Hillary Clinton

In a rare foray into entertainment media, Bernie Sanders brought down the house on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert with his deadpan "endorsement" of former political rival Hillary Clinton in her campaign for the presidency. "Hillary Clinton wil...
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Funny story: New Olympic Sports Announced--Quidditch is Not on the List But Drone Flying Is

New Olympic Sports Announced--Quidditch is Not on the List But Drone Flying Is

Geneva, Switzerland The International Olympic Committee announced the result of weeks of meetings-the new events that will be in the Olympics from now on. In the Summer Olympics, the Tug of War, which used to be in the Olympics during the 1900s t...
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Funny story: Cricket is always gentleman like game anymore

Cricket is always gentleman like game anymore

Cricket is known to be a respectable man's amusement. Nowadays is it any longer? Its second time as of late that a genuine debate happened in England. Past one was between English team and Pakistan that finished with Daryl's boycott and additionally...
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Funny story: Jesus Makes a Confession: " I messed up…"

Jesus Makes a Confession: " I messed up…"

In a late afternoon press conference, Jesus made a shocking confession: "I screwed up." "I don't get to say that very often, but remember that I'm only mostly divine, you know? Nobody's perfect - well, except my dad. The Creator rarely messes...
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Funny story: Trump Says Science is Voodoo and Hillary Will Use It to Rig Election

Trump Says Science is Voodoo and Hillary Will Use It to Rig Election

Hell, MI Trump took another opportunity to chastise the American election system as he proclaimed that the election would be rigged by Hillary. Trump began by explaining that he knows that Science is just Voodoo. "I am very rich and I bought the...
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Funny story: New video of Trump farting released by Paul Ryan

New video of Trump farting released by Paul Ryan

Washington D.C. - in a press conference here this morning, Paul Ryan released a video of Trump farting and then bragging about how well he can fart. On the video, the fart can be heard to last for a full nine seconds, at a pitch at least two octaves...
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Funny story: Honorary Doctor Andy Murray in 48-hour walk-out.

Honorary Doctor Andy Murray in 48-hour walk-out.

Following his recent back to back wins at the China Open & Shanghai Masters, a desperate and exhausted looking Andy Murray has seized the opportunity to strike from all Tennis & Fatherly duties for 48 hours. He is protesting about the incr...
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Funny story: Kim Kardashian Will Sue City of Paris After Robbery

Kim Kardashian Will Sue City of Paris After Robbery

Los Angeles, CA After her TV show was put on hold following her harrowing robbery in Paris where she was tied up and robbed, Kim Kardashian began a new crusade. "This incident really put the 'bare ass' in embarrassment" ranted Kim. "How could anyo...
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Funny story: North Korea's DICtator, Kim Jong-Un, In Hiding After Seventh Missile in a Row Explodes on the Launching Pad

North Korea's DICtator, Kim Jong-Un, In Hiding After Seventh Missile in a Row Explodes on the Launching Pad

Pynongyang, North Korea Although it seems like he would get used to it, Kim Jong-Un's most recent missile once again exploded on the launching pad, sending the rotund dictator into a rage. "Kim Jong-Un was last seen jumping up and down and orderi...
View 'North Korea's DICtator, Kim Jong-Un, In Hiding After Seventh Missile in a Row Explodes on the Launching Pad'
Funny story: Cosby And Trump Start Support Group For Wrongfully Accused Billionaires

Cosby And Trump Start Support Group For Wrongfully Accused Billionaires

Donald Trump, the man who heaped blistering criticism on Bill Cosby for drugging and raping women without a prenup, is now joining forces with the embattled comedian. B.L.A.M., or Billionaire's Lives Also Matter, is the new support and counseling...
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Funny story: Historians Hide Stash in Ancient Tomb

Historians Hide Stash in Ancient Tomb

An ancient Chinese tomb brought to the U.S. for study turns out to be a drug mule. The two historians credited with finding the tomb were convicted of marijuana possession with intent to distribute. According to police evidence the researchers brough...
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Funny story: Jessica Finished Hill

Jessica Finished Hill

One of Britain's all time great athletes has retired from her sport. Hetaopopolete Jessica Ennis Hill has walked away from her sport at the age of 31 probably saying something like "the real gold medal is family". Well probably. We don't know fo...
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Funny story: North Korean Dictator Fires PR Man

North Korean Dictator Fires PR Man

Pynongyang, North Korea Kim Jong-Un, North Korean dictator REALLY knows how to put the "dic" in dictator. Reports are that Kim is very pissed at his public relations man for not getting him more press space in world newspapers. The PR man exp...
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Funny story: Spider-pig Found in Amazon Rain Forest

Spider-pig Found in Amazon Rain Forest

Little did Homer Simpson know when he sang his Spider-Man based song, he was actually describing an existing species. Just the sort of genius he is known for. Homer sang these prophetic words while holding a pig upside down, walking it along the...
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Funny story: Biden and Trump Agree to Fight Pistol Duel--Final Arrangements Pending

Biden and Trump Agree to Fight Pistol Duel--Final Arrangements Pending

Seeking to duplicate, if not surpass, the famous duel between Vice President Aaron Burr and Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton, Republican candidate for president, Donald Trump, and Vice President Joe Biden, agreed to fight a pistol duel. Althoug...
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Funny story: Great Pyramid Key Ride at Ancient Amusement Park

Great Pyramid Key Ride at Ancient Amusement Park

The Giza pyramid complex outside of Cairo, Egypt commands the respect and admiration of most people on the planet. The most imposing structure by far is the great pyramid, Khufu's king pyramid, 455 feet tall and 756 feet wide. Conventional wisdom...
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Funny story: Zombies rush Hatian jailers

Zombies rush Hatian jailers

ARCAHATE, Haiti -- Two thousand naked Hatians forced their way past screws into the local jail here, Warden Yozambie Yomama said on the record. The interlopers were suffering from exposure, starvation, zombification, and the Clinton Foundation, a...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton To Make Direct Appeal To Less-Educated, White, Male Voters

Hillary Clinton To Make Direct Appeal To Less-Educated, White, Male Voters

In the final run-up to the US presidential elections, Hillary Clinton is hoping to ensure victory by winning-over the one demographic group that Donald Trump has yet failed to insult or alienate. That group consists of white American men without a...
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Funny story: King Rufus Found Buried Under Parking Lot Near Beaulieu Motor Museum

King Rufus Found Buried Under Parking Lot Near Beaulieu Motor Museum

King William II Rufus was the son of William the Conqueror and King of England from 1087 to 1100. Described as uncouth, barbaric, lacking both morals and ethics, addicted to vice, and definitely not the most popular king, he was killed by an arrow to...
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Funny story: Trump Wins Bad Hombres Award

Trump Wins Bad Hombres Award

Albuquerque, New Mexico - The Mexican-American Society (MAS) awarded GOP presidential candidate Donald J. Trump the "2016 Bad Hombres Award". Trump became qualified for the award when he spoke in Spanish at the last presidential debate against Hilla...
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Funny story: Primary School Teacher In Chubby Brown Shocker

Primary School Teacher In Chubby Brown Shocker

A school teacher from the village of Clackersford has found herself in hot water this week after allowing an unruly class of seven and eight year olds to watch a Chubby Brown video. Following a major debacle in the classroom (B7), in which many...
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Funny story: Trump's Attempt To Get In Married Woman's Pants By Taking Her Furniture Shopping Leads To Calls For Him To Leave Planet

Trump's Attempt To Get In Married Woman's Pants By Taking Her Furniture Shopping Leads To Calls For Him To Leave Planet

Washington DC - A tape strategically leaked to the press by the Clinton campaign has led to calls for Trump to drop out of the race. Most of those calling for him to drop out are major figures within the Republican party still bitter that the voters...
View 'Trump's Attempt To Get In Married Woman's Pants By Taking Her Furniture Shopping Leads To Calls For Him To Leave Planet'
Funny story: Obama Orders Immediate Nuclear Disarmament "Just in Case"

Obama Orders Immediate Nuclear Disarmament "Just in Case"

Washington, DC-Saying that the decision was "safest for the whole word", President Obama has issued an executive order calling for the immediate and complete disarmament of all nuclear weapons in the United States. At a press conference on Friday, th...
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Funny story: Area Feminist Just Wants Aggressively Masculine Man to Grab Her by the Pussy

Area Feminist Just Wants Aggressively Masculine Man to Grab Her by the Pussy

ST. LOUIS, MO - Speaking to reporters on Tuesday, local feminist activist Jessica Bell revealed that all she really, really wants is to be groped by a strange man, preferably one who adheres to rigorously strict gender norms. "Really, the rougher...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Calls Out Voter Fraud, Loses Support with Dead People

Donald Trump Calls Out Voter Fraud, Loses Support with Dead People

"People that have died 10 years ago are still voting," Trump said on Monday during a speech in Wisconsin, "Bruce Willis, Sean Bean, these guys have been dead for years and they're still out there voting. I prefer my action movie heroes to remain peri...
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Funny story: Ecuador Embassy Sets Conditions to Restore Assange's Internet

Ecuador Embassy Sets Conditions to Restore Assange's Internet

London, UK-The Ecuadorian embassy issued its first statement explaining their decision to halt internet access to Julian Assange, WikiLeaks editor-in-chief. "Julian Assange resides with us at the embassy since June 2012. Ecuador granted him polit...
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Funny story: Trump demands to see Clinton tats

Trump demands to see Clinton tats

Donald Trump calls for their Presidential TV debate in Las Vegas to include comparing tattoos live on air, as he believes the Clinton tats are likely to confirm how terrible an American president she would be. It's perhaps a natural conclusion to...
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Funny story: Destroying Donald Trump by ring, ring, ringing the phones off the hooks

Destroying Donald Trump by ring, ring, ringing the phones off the hooks

"Hi, my name is Frankenstein Hyde," I said to the head guru at the local Republican Party headquarters. "That's a weird name," he said. "Yeah, I was an ugly baby. My Grandpa just got home from Vietnam and he was in no mood to have a kid. And b...
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Funny story: George W. Bush Admits He's Afraid of Words

George W. Bush Admits He's Afraid of Words

Former president George W. Bush admitted that he was afraid of words while attending a Republican fund-raiser in Cincinnatti over the summer. Specifically, he was afraid of Donald Trump and all of his "-isms," such as "nativism," "protectionism," and...
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Funny story: Is government the new reality show? The future of Italian politics

Is government the new reality show? The future of Italian politics

Italy has recently become interested in making a change to their government, and are inspired by America's republican nominee Donald Trump. People are now looking for a beloved reality star to represent Italy, and there is even discussion about poss...
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Funny story: Killer Sock Puppets: The Return

Killer Sock Puppets: The Return

An update in the horrific Sock Puppet Terrorisation (SPT) craze that has been sweeping two coastal towns. Police raided an address in Aldbourgh last night and confiscated over £50 in sock puppet making technology. No one was at the property but offic...
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Funny story: Beauty Queens Defend Trump: "If You Didn't Want To Suck His Dick, You Didn't Have To Enter Contest"

Beauty Queens Defend Trump: "If You Didn't Want To Suck His Dick, You Didn't Have To Enter Contest"

New York, NY - A chorus of former beauty queens in Donald Trump sponsored beauty pageants today held a press conference to address charges of sexual harassment against the Republican Presidential Candidate. "We are here to say that Donald Trump...
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Funny story: Trump to be named "King of Texas" on November 9th

Trump to be named "King of Texas" on November 9th

Aware of the inevitable outcome of the election of November the 8th, Donald Trump has decided to become the King of Texas. "Not only will we build a wall on our southern border" he told a rapt crowd at Arlington stadium "but we will also build one a...
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Funny story: Proverbial elephant in the room sighs lets loose odors over JASTA

Proverbial elephant in the room sighs lets loose odors over JASTA

The JASTA (Justice Against Sponsors of Terrorism Act) legislation has moved rapidly ahead, then swerved and come to a screeching halt with three flat tires. This legislation is intended to bring to account the role of Saudi Arabia in the 9/11 att...
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Funny story: Hillary Defends Bill's Reputation

Hillary Defends Bill's Reputation

At a press conference on Thursday night, Hillary Clinton blew off accusations that her husband was just as bad a womanizer as Donald Trump: "Come on, people," she protested. "It's not like my Billy goes around looking for a blow job. Quite on t...
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Funny story: Clinton Camp Launches Blowjobs for Votes Campaign

Clinton Camp Launches Blowjobs for Votes Campaign

How do you know the U.S. is having a crazy presidential race? Easy, when the main stream media's headlines and stories look pale in comparison to the ones on this website. I couldn't make this one up even if I tried.... Last week, while ope...
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Funny story: Hillary Takes Giant Dump In Georgia, Blocks Sewer Pipes

Hillary Takes Giant Dump In Georgia, Blocks Sewer Pipes

At first the Clinton Campaign said that a volunteer accidentally released raw sewage from Hillary's campaign bus into a street drain in Georgia. Now it turns out that Hillary actually took a huge dump in a Georgia restaurant that caused an overflow o...
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Funny story: Major Companies Consider Revision Of Recorded Messages For Customers Waiting For A Call To Be Answered

Major Companies Consider Revision Of Recorded Messages For Customers Waiting For A Call To Be Answered

A recent survey of its members by the UK consumer group, Which?, has identified the most annoying elements of recorded messages played to customers who are waiting for their calls to be answered. The most irritating phrase contains a reassurance t...
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Funny story: 12 Things Donald Trump Will Do When He Becomes President

12 Things Donald Trump Will Do When He Becomes President

After threatening to imprison Hillary Clinton for what he considers to be her crimes, this reporter thought about making a list of actual illegal things Donald Trump has pledged to do should he ever reach the oval office. So here's a short list of illegal or at least unethical things Donald Trump has pledged to do when he becomes president. 1. Threatened to deport Melania if she gains too mu...
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Funny story: Farage Schools Trump in the Art of the Ferret

Farage Schools Trump in the Art of the Ferret

Nigel Farage, key political Brexit salesman, has been called in as debate coach to Donald Trump for the upcoming town hall style presidential debate on October 9. Farage is free to take on free-lance work since resigning in early July as leader...
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Funny story: Tacos Against Trump Raises Millions

Tacos Against Trump Raises Millions

Donald Trump's taco controversy is staying in the news in a serious way, even spawning the hashtags #TAT and #TacosAgainstTrump. Film director Kevin Smith inadvertently started the movement when he and Producer Scott Mosier were saying if only the...
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Funny story: End of British Summer Time

End of British Summer Time

In an effort to prevent all of the issues with British Summer Time ending, the government will be introducing a new phased two step change to the system. Instead of the clocks changing by one hour on one day, there will now be two days where the c...
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Funny story: God Enraged Chik fil A is Closed on Sunday

God Enraged Chik fil A is Closed on Sunday

God woke up last Sunday with one thing on his mind: a nice hot Chik fil A chicken sandwich with a large fries and a large coke. To his dismay he soon found out all Chik fil A locations were closed on Sunday in order to give homage to the Almighty h...
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Funny story: U.S. Election of 2016 Proves to Be the Ultimate End for Etiquette

U.S. Election of 2016 Proves to Be the Ultimate End for Etiquette

Washington, DC The contentious 2016 Election has proved to be the final nail in the coffin of what was once known as "etiquette." "Many people nowadays don't realize that there was once these, let me say, "rules" of conversation and the attitude with which people addressed each other," spoke a noted historical science professor. "But once the candidates in the 2016 Election began to use "Tru...
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Funny story: Pitt-Jolie Divorce Terms : Pitt Agrees To Living On $500 a Month If She Gets All The Annoying Kids, "Visitation neither desired nor at all necessary," says Pitt Lawyer.

Pitt-Jolie Divorce Terms : Pitt Agrees To Living On $500 a Month If She Gets All The Annoying Kids, "Visitation neither desired nor at all necessary," says Pitt Lawyer.

Los Angeles, CA - Details are emerging now about a pending divorce settlement between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, in which Jolie gets all the children. "Mr. Pitt always found them annoying," his own attorney said. He went on to say that Jol...
View 'Pitt-Jolie Divorce Terms : Pitt Agrees To Living On $500 a Month If She Gets All The Annoying Kids, "Visitation neither desired nor at all necessary," says Pitt Lawyer.'
Funny story: Heathrow or Death-row?

Heathrow or Death-row?

A dramatic decision, after 60 years (!), has been made to expand London's Heathrow Airport with a 3rd runway (I would prefer to run-away!). Now this wonderful decision, made after the nonsensical Brexit referendum, to invite the globe to England on a...
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Funny story: WikiLeaks Discloses Hillary's Unused Campaign Slogans

WikiLeaks Discloses Hillary's Unused Campaign Slogans

Washington, DC - Trump supporters waiting for their October surprise from WikiLeaks now have the ammunition they have been waiting for: Hillary Clinton's unused campaign slogans are described in several private hacked emails. The slogans were propo...
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Funny story: Black Fly Causes Stir During Presidential Debate

Black Fly Causes Stir During Presidential Debate

St. Louis, MO - A black fly dominated the town hall presidential debate in St. Louis, landing on Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton's hair and nose, before being killed by Washington University authorities. University authorities were embarrassed...
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Funny story: World Clown Conspiracy Uncovered

World Clown Conspiracy Uncovered

Lyon, France Interpol, in conjunction with other police agencies, announced that they have uncovered a world-wide conspiracy by killer clowns to cause revolution and topple governments. "Clowns have been infiltrating key world areas in Copenhagen...
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Funny story: Bobby Bush, Howard Stern, Anthony Weiner Determine Clinton-Trump Outcome

Bobby Bush, Howard Stern, Anthony Weiner Determine Clinton-Trump Outcome

First Trump came for the Mexicans, calling them rapists, but in White Republican Households in the suburbs there are very few Mexicans. Then he came after African Americans but there are almost none in the households in question. Then he came after...
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Funny story: Hoax Tweet leads to street riots

Hoax Tweet leads to street riots

Greggs bakery shops in Ashton, Manchester, Salford and Liverpool were targeted by angry mobs yesterday, after a hoax message on Twitter, announced that the company were withdrawing pasties from their product range. The Greggs pastie is renowned as...
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Funny story: Health Groups Urging Chart Topping Band the Chainsmokers to Change Their Name

Health Groups Urging Chart Topping Band the Chainsmokers to Change Their Name

They may be one of the hottest acts in pop at the moment, but US dance music duo the Chainsmokers are being criticized by health organisations and campaigners because of their rather unhealthy-sounding name. The twosome, Andrew Taggart and Alex Pa...
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Funny story: "Why were 300 Upton Park stewards sacked?" shrieks the Duchess of Knightsbridge.

"Why were 300 Upton Park stewards sacked?" shrieks the Duchess of Knightsbridge.

THE Athletics Stadium, Stratford, LONDON: Following the manhandling ejection of the Duchess of Knightsbridge from the London Stadium, whilst the 'Duchess' was standing up singing the West Ham National anthem and being labelled a 'trouble-maker', ser...
View '"Why were 300 Upton Park stewards sacked?" shrieks the Duchess of Knightsbridge.'
Funny story: Allegations Emerge That During A Water Landing of A Jet, Trump Asked Beauty Contestant if He Could Use Her Ass "As A Flotation Device." Stewardess Claims Also To Have Overhead Trump Saying His Cock Would Make A Good Snorkel

Allegations Emerge That During A Water Landing of A Jet, Trump Asked Beauty Contestant if He Could Use Her Ass "As A Flotation Device." Stewardess Claims Also To Have Overhead Trump Saying His Cock Would Make A Good Snorkel

Washington DC - While Hillary Clinton's campaign is subject to the "drip, drip, drip" of embarrassing emails, Republican nominee Donald Trump's Presidential Campaign is facing a deluge of stories about past sexual conduct that has taken a serious tol...
View 'Allegations Emerge That During A Water Landing of A Jet, Trump Asked Beauty Contestant if He Could Use Her Ass "As A Flotation Device." Stewardess Claims Also To Have Overhead Trump Saying His Cock Would Make A Good Snorkel'
Funny story: Killer Sock Puppets

Killer Sock Puppets

The "Killer Clown" craze that has been sweeping the nation (and led BATTL news to assault a children's entertainer this week) may not be the only costumed terror we have to worry about. Sightings of deranged sock puppets terrorising seaside commu...
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Funny story: I am Black Siri

I am Black Siri

To the Editor: I am bound by contract to not reveal my name, but I am the voice of Black Siri. Let me explain. I am a black woman who recorded my voice with Apple to be the black version of Siri. I am affirmative action in action. What black person wants to be told what to do by some white woman? White Siri can sound very know it all and bossy. My soothing black voice is your answer. When...
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Funny story: Melania Trump Calls Donald A "Boy"

Melania Trump Calls Donald A "Boy"

Melania Trump defended her husband to CNN's Anderson Cooper against sexual assault charges saying, "It's just boy talk." "When I'm at home I feel like I have two boys there, Junior and Barron, age 10." Ms. Trump continued, "Actually, sometimes...
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