There were 170 spoof news stories published in November 2016. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Hillary Clinton Named Attorney General

Hillary Clinton Named Attorney General

In surprising news today, Hillary Clinton was named attorney general by president-elect Trump. Sources indicate that the Trump transition team has found plenty of Republicans with significant foreign policy experience and plenty of Republicans w...
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Funny story: Hillary Is Elected President

Hillary Is Elected President

In a miraculous and purely patriotic act, the Electoral College, a group of officials no one has ever really seen, have decided that it would be in the best interest of the nation and the world, to dissolve their group and allow the majority of voter...
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Funny story: Melania Trump calls White House "A Dump"

Melania Trump calls White House "A Dump"

New York, NY - Melania Trump returned from her visit at the White House residence and called her new home "a dump." She refused to speak with her husband, President-elect Donald J. Trump, for the entire helicopter ride home, and resorted to silent t...
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Funny story: O.J. Simpson Busted Again!

O.J. Simpson Busted Again!

Las Vegas, NV While on a weekend pass to judge if he is a candidate for parole, O.J. Simpson was sent back to prison earlier than expected when he broke a display window at Vegas Trophies on W. Sahara in the city. "I just thought I saw some of my...
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Funny story: Trump Appoints Head Of FBI James Comey To Supreme Court

Trump Appoints Head Of FBI James Comey To Supreme Court

When Rudy Giuliani heard that Donald Trump planned to appoint head of the FBI James Comey to the US Supreme Court, Giuliani went ballistic, claiming that the job was promised. Nah, Trump was reported as saying, adding that Comey gave him the White...
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Funny story: 14-Pound Bermuda Lobster Has His Say

14-Pound Bermuda Lobster Has His Say

"My weight is nobody's business but mine," huffed the lobster, in an interview with a reporter from The Spoof. The lobster continued, "It's an outrage. How would you like it if YOUR weight were the subject of discussion the world over?" And he's appalled at all the fat shaming on social media since he's been caught and brought onto land, "Why can't people just mind their own business?" he aske...
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Funny story: 3200-year-old Egyptian Mummy Stuns NY Press

3200-year-old Egyptian Mummy Stuns NY Press

It was his first meeting with the press since being unearthed, and he chose the venue (Grand Central Station). He also chose the format. "I will be asking, not answering, questions," he told the startled crowd, continuing, "it's only fair that I go f...
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Funny story: Wasserman Schultz Rewarded by Donald Trump

Wasserman Schultz Rewarded by Donald Trump

Debbie Wasserman Schultz was head of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) who devised a limited debate schedule for the Clinton-Sanders primary contest. She also scheduled the debates to be held at a time when viewing would be limited. All of t...
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Funny story: New First Lady Melania Trump Announces Decorating Plans!

New First Lady Melania Trump Announces Decorating Plans!

First Lady-to-be Melania Trump outlined her plans for the White House in a press conference from Trump Tower. The Mr. President-Elect Trump's First Lady, Melania, has been picking out gold draperies, and gold furniture for the Red Room of the White House. When asked why she would change the color of the Red Room to gold, Melania just laughed and said "But darling! Don't you see, gold trumps...
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Funny story: Vermont deer attempt to flee to Canada after election results roll in.

Vermont deer attempt to flee to Canada after election results roll in.

Swanton, VT - Apparently terrified by the prospect of America's restored greatness, a group of Vermont deer made a failed attempt to cross the Canadian border Wednesday. The trespassers have been captured and taken into custody, and are currently awa...
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Funny story: Kanye Only Speaking With Doctors Using Auto-Tune Microphone

Kanye Only Speaking With Doctors Using Auto-Tune Microphone

Los Angeles, CA - After his recent concert meltdown, rapper Kanye West is being treated for an extreme case of the 'Rubber Ramada Blues' at UCLA hospital. His Doctors state that he is 'nuttier than a fruitcake' and that he will only speak to them us...
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Funny story: Coffee shop customer feels good about leaving a $20 tip.

Coffee shop customer feels good about leaving a $20 tip.

Seattle, WA - Contemplating how utterly thrilled the staff of the local coffee shop must be, 32-year-old Brandon Reenberg felt good about himself Monday for leaving a remarkable tip. Sources confirm Mr. Reenberg had a vague, poorly concealed smile...
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Funny story: Scientists Believe Climate Change Is Caused By Mother Earth Reaching Menopause

Scientists Believe Climate Change Is Caused By Mother Earth Reaching Menopause

In her younger days, scientists idolized Mother Earth and and called her the Goldilocks Planet because she was young, just right, full of life, and would perform the best magic tricks! Now after doing extensive research, scientists are hating on...
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Funny story: Trump's Chief Jokes About Gays, Nazis, Jews, KKK

Trump's Chief Jokes About Gays, Nazis, Jews, KKK

It didn't take a clairvoyant to predict that the press would almost instantly normalize President-elect Donald Trump since they had already normalized him when he was a candidate. After a 60 Minutes interview, Lesley Stahl declared him "more subdued...
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Funny story: PrankGate? Patriots' Gostkowski Terrorizing NFL Via Prank Calls

PrankGate? Patriots' Gostkowski Terrorizing NFL Via Prank Calls

First there was SpyGate, then there was DeflateGate, and now… PrankGate? It's common knowledge amongst NFL fans that the New England Patriots seek out innovative and creative ways to gain a competitive advantage - often blurring the line between g...
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Funny story: Business Euphemism of the Year

Business Euphemism of the Year

The new model started with tech companies like Net Flix and LinkedIn. These workplaces attract self-motivated and focused employees who are driven to succeed and who typically work long hours. These employees are also the type who are reluctant to ta...
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Funny story: Celebrities Line Up Hoping to Be Pardoned by Obama Before He Leaves Office

Celebrities Line Up Hoping to Be Pardoned by Obama Before He Leaves Office

Washington, DC It has long been a tradition for U.S. Presidents leaving office to pardon people. President Clinton pardoned 140 in the last days of his office. Some of the celebrities requesting meetings with Obama, besides the obvious like O.J. S...
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Funny story: Trump Concedes, Calls Clinton to Congratulate Her

Trump Concedes, Calls Clinton to Congratulate Her

In a shocking turn of events Donald Trump has conceded the Election and admitted defeat to Hillary Clinton. Nearly 24 hours before the polls will close out west. Trump appeared on CNN at Trump Tower in Bogata, Idaho. "Let's get this right America!...
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Funny story: Melania To Lose Citizenship, Faces Deportation

Melania To Lose Citizenship, Faces Deportation

Melania Trump, the wife of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and an immigrant who came in a box to the U.S. from Lower Slabovia, was paid for 10 modeling jobs in 1996 before she received legal authorization to work in the United States, th...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Uses His $25 Million Get Out Of Jail Trump Card While Finding Ways To Keep Americans Distracted

Donald Trump Uses His $25 Million Get Out Of Jail Trump Card While Finding Ways To Keep Americans Distracted

The President Elect Donald Trump is involved in 4,000 lawsuits over the last 30 years and is currently facing 75 active lawsuits. The same man who once upon a time declared "I do not settle lawsuits", just used his $25 million get out of jail Trump c...
View 'Donald Trump Uses His $25 Million Get Out Of Jail Trump Card While Finding Ways To Keep Americans Distracted'
Funny story: God Admits Rigging the World Series

God Admits Rigging the World Series

God Almighty, aka Allah, the High Almighty, Jehovah, and Yahweh admits that he caused the World Series to go out to the full seven games. "I know it's unprecedented, but come on, I haven't ever interfered before, not even during that dreadful Blac...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Accused of Failure at not being President for a Week

Donald Trump Accused of Failure at not being President for a Week

Donald Trump is facing harsh criticism for the job he is doing as a citizen. "Wow, this guy won the election a whole week ago and he hasn't even started being president yet. What were we thinking?" said Skip Homeyer of the Whipperford Post web...
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Funny story: Washington Redskins to change team name

Washington Redskins to change team name

"I apologize for offending our native Americans. It was never the intention of the Washington football team to discredit or abuse these great people but in realizing that the inference exists I have decided to change the name of the Redskins"...
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Funny story: Original Bible Discovered

Original Bible Discovered

The original Holy Text was discovered this week at a remote Middle Eastern location no one has ever heard of. Using radio carbon dating, researchers were able to determine that the bible was approximately 4,000 years old, eerily close to two times 2...
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Funny story: Glass Swear Box Sales Increase Dramatically After Trump Win

Glass Swear Box Sales Increase Dramatically After Trump Win

Seattle, WA - Sales of the "Glass Swear Box" have increased to unprecedented levels after Donald Tump's presidential election win. The box is a 7-foot glass enclosure in which owners can step in and vent all of their frustrations. A user can swear,...
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Funny story: Cubs Win World Series; Christ Returns to Earth

Cubs Win World Series; Christ Returns to Earth

CLEVELAND--In a move Vatican officials are calling "purely coincidental," to the Chicago Cubs' victory in the World Series, Jesus Christ, Son of God and Savior of Humanity, left His place at the right hand of the Father early Thursday morning, and ha...
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Funny story: Flute & Marino: Friends Forever

Flute & Marino: Friends Forever

First they were friends on the football field, then they were friends in the fight against autism, and now they're friends in their fight to beat each other at mini-golf. Former star quarterbacks Doug Flutie and Dan Marino have been best buds for...
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Funny story: Epidemic of Falling leaves point to Climate Change

Epidemic of Falling leaves point to Climate Change

Dr. Paul Montgomery of Admiral University's Department of Climatic Intervention has been studying "a strange phenomenon that is occurring this Autumn and if memory serves me correctly, happened last autumn too" he said. Dr. Montgomery went o...
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Funny story: Einstein Time Travels to Present Day

Einstein Time Travels to Present Day

"We were waiting for Professor Emory to come in and lecture on worm holes and spider webs" said Alice Benoit a post grad student at Princeton's applied Astrophysics and Stuff "when appearing out of nowhere an older gentleman with crazy white hair sto...
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Funny story: Move To Drug Test Gun Owners In Open Carry States

Move To Drug Test Gun Owners In Open Carry States

31 states in the U.S. allow citizens to openly carry their firearms. In 10 of these states , someone who applies for welfare cash assistance through the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) has to be screened and tested for substance abus...
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Funny story: Rooney orders zimmerframe!

Rooney orders zimmerframe!

Ageing footy ex-superstar, Wayne Rooney, better known for his antics in after-party wedding celebrations so drunk that he forgot to remove his official England shirt, has ordered his first zimmerframe! After returning to his club, the once great M...
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Funny story: Messi's Manchester Mess

Messi's Manchester Mess

Lionel Messi will escape any punishment for his childish outburst after his side were comprehensively beaten by Arab club Manchester City. The Argentinean whinger was visibly upset when the referee refused to award Barcelona a penalty or send a o...
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Funny story: Stokes In Possible Jailhouse Rock

Stokes In Possible Jailhouse Rock

Blackburn Rovers superstar striker Anthony Stokes has pleaded guilty to attacking an Elvis impersonator one night out in the ghetto. The 28 year old has was described as having a "wooden heart" by the prosecutor displayed a lack of empathy as he ente...
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Funny story: Liverpools Brexit Bounce

Liverpools Brexit Bounce

In a move that will infuriate Brexit supporters everywhere Liverpool are eying up the transfer of Iranian striker Sardar Azmoun from Russian side FC Rostov. Predictably the hard working British people have had their say on this national scandal.
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Funny story: USA to Split into Two Countries

USA to Split into Two Countries

Washington, DC - With anti-Trump protests occurring along the two U.S. coasts, the US House and Senate are proposing an emergency bill to split the United States into two countries. Donald J. Trump will serve as President of the United Middle Sta...
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Funny story: Saudi Cash Injection

Saudi Cash Injection

According to a think tank of "investment consultants" (read: probable wankers) a large group of Saudi Arabian investors are looking to invest in a number of "top London" football clubs. A statement which immediately ruled Tottenham Hotspur out of the...
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Funny story: Is Melania Even In The Same Bed As Donald Trump?

Is Melania Even In The Same Bed As Donald Trump?

In Pennsylvania yesterday Melania Trump, the wife of GOP candidate Donald Trump, gave a speech which said, in part, "America has become "too mean and too rough," and that as first lady she would attempt to correct this national defect. This promp...
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Funny story: Tiffany And Barron Mad At President-Elect Trump

Tiffany And Barron Mad At President-Elect Trump

Donald Trump's primary daughter, Ivanka, has been tapped for role on the president-elect's White House transition team, joining Trump's main son, Donald, Jr., and his third-favorite son, Eric. Trump's other daughter, Tiffany, the only child from his...
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Funny story: No Need for Tenses?

No Need for Tenses?

While it is commonly acknowledged by physicists that time is an illusion, people continue to ignore this by using the past tense and the future tense in their speech. One person who acknowledges and promotes this time/space continuum fact is Billy P...
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Funny story: US citizens mesmerized by today's great election! Donald Duck v Minnie Mouse!

US citizens mesmerized by today's great election! Donald Duck v Minnie Mouse!

US citizens have been voting in one of the greatest useless elections ever to be had; is Donald Duck more popular than Minnie Mouse (Chosen because of his and hers gender bender allegiances)? November the eighth will go down in US history as total...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Is The King Of Russian Spies

Donald Trump Is The King Of Russian Spies

A top Russian diplomat & Vladimir Putin's spokesman came out of the closet Thursday. They admitted that Russian experts touched the Trump campaign more than once during the Presidential campaign and it felt so good. They said they were so happy P...
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Funny story: No "Tweet-In-Chief": Trump blames late night rants on sonambulism

No "Tweet-In-Chief": Trump blames late night rants on sonambulism

President-elect Trump has declined to take responsibility for late night messages on his Twitter account. "I never said that," was Mr. Trump's response to questions about the Constitutionality of some of his comments. The President-elect was pr...
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Funny story: President-elect Trump thanks Putin, gives him  Alaska & Hawaii, throws in Chris Christie!

President-elect Trump thanks Putin, gives him  Alaska & Hawaii, throws in Chris Christie!

President-elect Donald Trump announced today that in appreciation of Vladimir Putin's help in his election that he will, after his inauguration, give Russia the states of Alaska and Hawaii. "I am throwing in Christie," said Trump, "for shits and gigg...
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Funny story: TV Painter, Bob Ross, Actually Really Hated Meadows and Streams

TV Painter, Bob Ross, Actually Really Hated Meadows and Streams

Bob Ross became an instant TV celebrity with his easy-to-follow painting techniques on PBS in the late '80's. But now his long time Cameraman, Arty Rivers, has written a tell-all memoir about the painting zen-master, who actually detested nature in g...
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Funny story: Trump Announces New Cabinet Appointees-Coincidentally, Most Are Former Celebrity Apprentice Contestants

Trump Announces New Cabinet Appointees-Coincidentally, Most Are Former Celebrity Apprentice Contestants

Trump Tower, NY Trump gave his 18th press conference in 4 days to announce more of his selections for his Cabinet. "Many people have remarked that many of my selections came from my old TV show, Celebrity Apprentice. Well, I was secretly trying a...
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Funny story: The Babysitter's Club Revokes Donald Trump's Twitter

The Babysitter's Club Revokes Donald Trump's Twitter

After staying up all night playing Russian Roulette with America, I spy with Russia, and sniff & tweet with some nasty girls, Donald Trump is in trouble again! His team of babysitters woke up to chaos at the crack of Trump which turned into more...
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Funny story: Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!

Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!

English custom's authorities, police and military are on red alert after a border invasion of ginger-headed (Not Harry he's got other problems), kilt wearing, whisky smelling, bagpipe playing Scots entered the country today in seek of revenge! OK,...
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Funny story: Mom discovers communication potential of emoji

Mom discovers communication potential of emoji

Medicine Park, OK - Fascinated by the whole new world opening up before her, local mother of two discovered emoji Thursday. Samantha Briggs, 54, is reportedly sending record amounts of texts and Facebook messages just so she could use the new means o...
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Funny story: Hillary sells her witches paraphernalia on EBAY

Hillary sells her witches paraphernalia on EBAY

Clinton Estate - According to our anonymous source, who wishes to be known only as "Bill", Hillary has been secluding herself in the basement where she has collected all her witches equipment: Broom with extra thick handle, black candles made from th...
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Funny story: Sharapova becomes UN Ambassador for global drug runners!

Sharapova becomes UN Ambassador for global drug runners!

Banned ex-tennis star and super grunt-er, Maria Sharapova, has been elected by the UN to represent a growing number of illegals whose extremely difficult and dangerous job it is supplying the world's drug consumers with fresh lines of produce. The...
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Funny story: Fatty tax on airlines to be implemented world wide!

Fatty tax on airlines to be implemented world wide!

After Samoa Airlines introduced a "fatty tax" on their planes new airline legislation is being implemented world wide by Airline Authorities, not Ryanair, they just hate overweight baggage because their fat passengers do not fit in their narrow seats...
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Funny story: Trump's election victory proves voters are getting dumber, say scientists

Trump's election victory proves voters are getting dumber, say scientists

Humanologists from the Dumas Institute, Paris, have analysed US election results going back nearly two hundred years and have reached some staggering conclusions. Voters are now less intelligent than ever before, and are making worse choices for thei...
View 'Trump's election victory proves voters are getting dumber, say scientists'
Funny story: Watching Paint Dry New Baby Boomer Habit

Watching Paint Dry New Baby Boomer Habit

Streaming entertainment has been the buzzword (well, buzzwords) for the past few years as media conglomerates battle each other for content and access to the consumer. Recent studies have shown that millenials spend 2000% more time watching movies o...
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Funny story: Trump's Great America To Deport Teenage Babysitter for Tax Evasion

Trump's Great America To Deport Teenage Babysitter for Tax Evasion

Austin, TX - A local babysitter of Mexican descent was arrested yesterday for failing to pay taxes on income earned while babysitting. The babysitter, a 15-year old juvenile, will be arraigned in Federal court on Tuesday. The girl, whose name is...
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Funny story: Obama to Move Back to Africa as Mandela's Son

Obama to Move Back to Africa as Mandela's Son

Cape Town, South Africa - The Government of South Africa has unofficially announced that President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle are relocating to South Africa after Obama's term ends in January. The Obamas reportedly are leaving their daughter...
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Funny story: Bob Dylan's Nobel Due to "Wiggle Wiggle"

Bob Dylan's Nobel Due to "Wiggle Wiggle"

Details have emerged about Bob Dylan's winning of the Nobel Prize for Literature, an event which sent shock waves thru the literary world. Per Wastberg, head of the Nobel Committee for Literature, has explained the reasons for the selection. "Mai...
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Funny story: Grammy To Go To David Foster Wallace

Grammy To Go To David Foster Wallace

The Grammy Music Awards committee will posthumously name writer David Foster Wallace as a recipient of a Lifetime achievement award in February. The news was met with quizzical looks and murmurs of "WTH?" Joyce Muenzler, a self described "huge...
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Funny story: Turkeys vote for Christmas

Turkeys vote for Christmas

In a shock election result, turkeys have voted in favour of Christmas for the first time since they gained the right to hold elections in 1845. In every year since then, turkeys have voted firmly against the Yuletide feast. However, this year a popul...
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Funny story: Hurricane thumps the US!

Hurricane thumps the US!

A hurricane swept across the US last night causing historic devastation, destruction and left a H-bomb scenario in its wake! The storm started in Florida, then swept northwards leaving Alabama, Kentucky and other redneck states miraculously, virtu...
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Funny story: Authorities say motive remains unclear for skinhead attack on synagogue

Authorities say motive remains unclear for skinhead attack on synagogue

Columbus, Ohio - Authorities are mystified as to why a man drove his car into a crowd of worshipers outside a synagogue then jumped out screaming "Heil Hitler!" and started hacking them up with a machete before being shot dead by a security guard.
View 'Authorities say motive remains unclear for skinhead attack on synagogue'
Funny story: Trump Gives 6 Reasons To Vote For Him

Trump Gives 6 Reasons To Vote For Him

Donald Trump has given an amazing closing speech about why he should be elected President in 2016. It can be broken down into different parts about why he should be elected according to Mr. Trump: 1) "People say I suffer from a pathological na...
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Funny story: Backbone rebuilding surgery and diplomatic pouch protection products emerging after Trump victory

Backbone rebuilding surgery and diplomatic pouch protection products emerging after Trump victory

A variety of new products has swiftly emerged following Mr. Trump's victory and are smoothing the way into the new presidency. Medical experts have been concerned about candidates with the "nothing there" syndrome on repeated backbone tests. Th...
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Funny story: Animal Farm Revisited, Part 3: Democracy in Action

Animal Farm Revisited, Part 3: Democracy in Action

Murdoch was a boar straight out of the woods from somewhere in the South. No one was sure how he got to Animal Farm. Some suspect that he just got lost and wandered out of the woods and found it easier to bully domesticated animals who had "gone soft" as far as he was concerned, who lived on farms and were fed - actually had to beg - for their food from some sniveling human being who doled out t...
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Funny story: In 2024, Ivanka Trump will Become First Woman President

In 2024, Ivanka Trump will Become First Woman President

The year 2016 marks an important time in American politics which will be noted not by the fact that Donald Trump won for president but by the fact the Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton ran for president. Despite Jeb's and Hillary's losses, the 2016 election cycle will be considered the time that America embraced the concept of dynastic presidential politics, where the candidacies of a brother and...
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Funny story: Dutch ducks Doomsday!

Dutch ducks Doomsday!

Confirming the common known fact that the utilisation of an ancient cliché, "Double Dutch" means you are completely NUTS; the Dutch government have proven to the world that it's utterly true! The Dutch duck population is about to be culled because...
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Funny story: Satellite photos show fecal tornado the size of continental US re FBI and Clinton

Satellite photos show fecal tornado the size of continental US re FBI and Clinton

Photographs released today from outer space show a monstrous cloud of dung hovering over the United States. Pundits theorize the nitty-gritty of this fecal storm comes down to problems between FBI Director James Comey and the Hillary Clinton campa...
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Funny story: Jaggedone reveals the truth behind Trump's trump card!

Jaggedone reveals the truth behind Trump's trump card!

Berlin Bunker, 1945! Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) just got there before the Russians did and found this document typed by Frau Goebbels!!! World Sensation! Hitler to Goebbels: "Do not vorry Goebbels ve have produced ze eg...
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Funny story: Brexit Voters To Face Prosecution

Brexit Voters To Face Prosecution

Activists from the EU referendum Remain Campaign are continuing with plans to pursue criminal prosecutions for many of those who voted to leave the EU. 'We do not wish to be divisive or retaliatory,' said a spokesman for the activists, 'but advice...
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Funny story: Trump Will Prove Bill Clinton Was Jack the Ripper

Trump Will Prove Bill Clinton Was Jack the Ripper

Gross, Nebraska From the campaign trail, Trump delivered the news that he said has recently been discovered by historians hired by the Trump organization, that Bill Clinton was, in fact, Jack the Ripper! "We have learned of some documents that wil...
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Funny story: Right lads, Wall around Britain

Right lads, Wall around Britain

If nothing else, Donald Trump's election has at least proven a godsend for the bricks and mortar industry. Walls are in....so to say. In the wake of America's intention to erect a wall along its border to Mexico, Britain's Prime Minister, Theresa...
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Funny story: White House Staff begins baby proofing measures in preparation for president Trump

White House Staff begins baby proofing measures in preparation for president Trump

The White House staff was in full swing as measures are put in place in expectation of the needs of incumbent president Trump. "The first thing we did was put baby proof door knobs on all of the military related areas," stated Denis Richard McDo...
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Funny story: Russian Attempt to Reduce Voter Turnout Backfires

Russian Attempt to Reduce Voter Turnout Backfires

The 2016 presidential election has been full of talk about Russian involvement. WikiLeaks released repeated batches of emails related to the Democratic Party. U.S. intelligence agencies traced the leaks to Russian hackers sanctioned by the Russian go...
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Funny story: Trump Creates "Department of War" Cheney To Be Head

Trump Creates "Department of War" Cheney To Be Head

Donald Trump said today that the term "Defense Department" is "kind of PC but we'll keep the department going with Donald Rumsfeld at the helm." He continued, "During the campaign I said that I'd bomb the sh*t out of ISIS and kill the women and chil...
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Funny story: Hilary deletes thousands of her males!

Hilary deletes thousands of her males!

Scandal upon scandal rocks the US presidential farce even further after the FBI discovered that Hilary deleted thousands of her "males"! Not Bill though, he's a sucker! The FBI announced that Hilary had more males than Bill had hot lips and in a d...
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Funny story: Animal Farm, Part 9: The Pipeline

Animal Farm, Part 9: The Pipeline

Marksy - along with all the other horses - had no idea what "subsistence" meant, but they were told by Murdoch that they could look it up if they needed to. They didn't know how or where to look things up, so Murdoch told them the "truth," as he put it, telling the horses it meant "just enough to survive" for right now. The Boar also told the horses that it was just temporary, and that once the...
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Funny story: She Thought I Was Sambo or Something: An Interview with Hillary Clinton

She Thought I Was Sambo or Something: An Interview with Hillary Clinton

My name is Chad Billings and I write for a very reputable magazine, The Republic Rag. I grew up in a middle-class neighborhood in a three-bedroom, two-bath split-level ranch, where I lived with my sister Martha (Marty for short). My parents were not divorced. My father worked at IBM like everyone else, which allowed my mother to stay home and take care of things until "the kids" were out of scho...
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Funny story: Kim Jong-Un Threatens "Utter Destruction" To China For Calling Him "Fattie"

Kim Jong-Un Threatens "Utter Destruction" To China For Calling Him "Fattie"

Pyongyang, North Korea Kim Jong-Un, rotund DICtator of North Korea, was goaded into threatening to totally destroy China with nuclear weapons. "It is utterly unacceptable for His Eminence Kim Jong-Un to be treated this way. He is never going to let China live this down. One of the reporters even called him "His Fattiness" spoke the North Korean News Service. Chinese officials were quoted as...
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Funny story: Will The Real Donald Trump Please Stand Up?

Will The Real Donald Trump Please Stand Up?

In early November 2016, Scotland's first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, expressed more clearly than many other world leaders the hope that Donald Trump, when in office, would be very different from the Donald Trump she had witnessed on the presidential c...
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Funny story: Animal Farm Revisited, part 5: Old george Has a Modest Proposal

Animal Farm Revisited, part 5: Old george Has a Modest Proposal

Old George Has a Modest Proposal Bernard had rallied his spirits as his first - some say primary - loss at the gate, the Infamous Loss at the Gate as he began to think of it. Yet, somehow after chasing some cats around the yard and yapping at the humans who were passing by, Bernard felt a little better. He scampered lively into the center yard where all the animals milled about early...
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Funny story: Adele helps pregnant mothers by telling them; "It aint no fun being a mum!"

Adele helps pregnant mothers by telling them; "It aint no fun being a mum!"

One of Britain's most famous exports, singer/songwriter Adele, has decided to go public and warned pregnant mother's about having babies, she say's "being a mum aint no fun!" Adele just happened to be paid a couple of million for telling her despe...
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Funny story: Nation Agrees: It's A Good Time to Legalize Marijuana

Nation Agrees: It's A Good Time to Legalize Marijuana

As the nation woke up to the reality that reality TV star Donald Trump had actually become the President of the U.S., they began to collectively say, "Well, at least pot's legal!" "As we lose all our rights under a Trump presidency, almost half th...
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Funny story: Kanye West baffles doctors

Kanye West baffles doctors

As the 'get well soon' cards flooded in following Kanye West's admittance to UCLA Medical Center (Actually spelled 'Centre'), medical staff gathered in force to abuse their Doctor/Patient confidentiality by talking publicly about Mr West's medical co...
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Funny story: Trump Is Physically Restrained From Tweeting By His Campaign

Trump Is Physically Restrained From Tweeting By His Campaign

Donald Trump has been known for putting his unfiltered thoughts on Twitter at all hours. It is here that he excoriates people who have hurt his feelings. Over the years, he has issued a stream of cruel and unrestrained insults, savaging his rivals...
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Funny story: Animal Farm, Part 7: Welcome to Napoleon Farm

Animal Farm, Part 7: Welcome to Napoleon Farm

Old Man Kennedy's Saturday boxers, red and tattered by the wind, were still waving in the wind at the top of the pole the pigs had put up. The terror level was still on high alert. Nothing had changed, except that it had gotten worse. When Scylla and Charidibis woke that morning and went the yard to chase their tails a bit before breakfast, they saw another slaughtered boar. It was mangled in...
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Funny story: It's in the Book.

It's in the Book.

You can look it up. It may seem harsh, but calling your father-in-law a fool makes you liable to the fires of hell. After all, he may have been conned by the lies and empty promises, duped by a charismatic scam artist, or confused by the self-contradictory rhetoric. He may have a disability that diminishes his powers of reason and understanding. Let's have a little empathy here, folks. But. Now...
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Funny story: Young White Men 'Excited' to Ruin Country With Third-Party Vote

Young White Men 'Excited' to Ruin Country With Third-Party Vote

NEW YORK, NY - A mere twenty-four hours before Election Day, it appears there's one group of voters Hillary Clinton still hasn't managed to win over: young, white men. A recent survey revealed that this group is overwhelmingly reluctant to cast their...
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Funny story: Swedish prosecutor sends Valerie Thighborg to London to summarize the Assange case

Swedish prosecutor sends Valerie Thighborg to London to summarize the Assange case

A new update on the Assange case is again rising to the surface. Ms. Valerie Thighborg, who has visited Mr. Assange twice previously (reported in these pages) has returned to Ecuador's London embassy to review Mr. Assange's current interrogation.
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Funny story: Election Night Drama: Hillary overheard giving spouse a tongue lashing!

Election Night Drama: Hillary overheard giving spouse a tongue lashing!

Once it was certain Hillary had lost the electoral college vote, according to insiders, she unloaded on her rumored-to-be philandering husband, Bill. (She had also had choice words for her once bestest gal-pal's hubby.) You son of a bitch, this is...
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Funny story: Corbyn goes into hibernation

Corbyn goes into hibernation

Labour party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, bereft of any concept, strategy or will to challenge or even question the Prime Minister, Theresa May, about what she's doing, or rather not doing with regard to this bothersome Brexit issue, has stated he needs to...
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Funny story: Escaped London Zoo gorilla only drinks Robinsons blackcurrant squash

Escaped London Zoo gorilla only drinks Robinsons blackcurrant squash

A gorilla that escaped from its enclosure at London Zoo made its way into Waitrose to buy Robinsons blackcurrant squash before being returned to his den, a report has found. Kumbuka, a western lowland silverback, made a trip to the nearest Waitro...
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Funny story: Mother Nature Picketing God Outside Pearly Gates Over Labor Rights

Mother Nature Picketing God Outside Pearly Gates Over Labor Rights

Pearly Gates, Heaven - Mother Nature tips back her raggedy leaf-crown in front of God's famous gates, refusing to go to arbitration over their on-going dispute regarding her wage package. The wand-waving Disastress has been very vocal over the last s...
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Funny story: Amurexit from NAFTA TPP Wall Street and Global Policeman

Amurexit from NAFTA TPP Wall Street and Global Policeman

Despite the continuing wailing and tears and gnashing of teeth from angry Hillary supporters, the Trump Party is officially the winner of the 2016 presidential election. Foremost now in all the post-election sound and fury is the new United States...
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Funny story: A Victorian Brexit

A Victorian Brexit

Lord Britton removed his top hat and entered the door of the gentleman's club. "Good day, Sir," said the butler holding the door. "It's good to have you back." The Lord smiled at the servant and thought what a lower class moron the man looked. He wondered if he could have the butler sacked, but he had other business with the club secretary, Count Percy Twatarse. Count Percy's bushy mousta...
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Funny story: Carrot Top To Give Nobel Awards At Drive Thru Window

Carrot Top To Give Nobel Awards At Drive Thru Window

After accruing millions of dollars in debt, the Nobel prize committee will forgo a lavish award ceremony in favor of a webcast hosted by Carrot Top from a drive thru coffee kiosk. Nobel Committee head Jørgen Myklebust is putting his experience in...
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Funny story: Harry Potter and the Nipple Pumps - Culture Minister to consider Ban

Harry Potter and the Nipple Pumps - Culture Minister to consider Ban

Her Majesty's Principal Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport, Karen Bradley, has been asked by MPs to reconsider approval of the printing of J.K. Rowling's latest novel, 'Harry Potter and the Nipple Pumps'. "OK", explained the Culture S...
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Funny story: Socks Speaks Out: Clintons' White House Cat Speaks Through Pet Psychic

Socks Speaks Out: Clintons' White House Cat Speaks Through Pet Psychic

Socks, the black and white tuxedo cat who was a Clinton family pet during the entire Bill Clinton presidency 1993-2001, contacted a medium, to weigh in on the 2016 presidential election. Speaking through Charisma Rhapsody, pet psychic, Socks spok...
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Funny story: Scamology Knocked Down to 104th Most Popular Cult After Cable Documentary About Them

Scamology Knocked Down to 104th Most Popular Cult After Cable Documentary About Them

Adherents of Scamology recently denied that their cult had slipped in popularity, no longer one of the Top 100 Cults. Meanwhile, they continued to flood the airwaves and Internet with denunciations of the Big Star that has narrated a cable documentar...
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Funny story: Trump's Wall Might Only Be a Fence in Some Areas, And Only Rows of Shubbery in Others

Trump's Wall Might Only Be a Fence in Some Areas, And Only Rows of Shubbery in Others

New York, NY Trump transition sources added more to the information about Trump's wall on the U.S./Mexico border. Earlier, the news was broken that Trump had said the wall might only be a fence in some places. Today, sources further admitted that man...
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Funny story: Jesus Comes Out of the Closet … Or Does He?

Jesus Comes Out of the Closet … Or Does He?

What a week it has been for the Son of the Almighty. Tuesday, Jesus himself was seen at the Tampa's infamous The Honey Pot night club, a night spot known for its super-hot drag show. A copy of Jesus's bar tab reveals he and his "posse" of Lucif...
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Funny story: Animal Farm Revisited, Part 4: The Crumbling Wall

Animal Farm Revisited, Part 4: The Crumbling Wall

The Crumbling Wall The horses were working hard as usual, but on this day - this historic day - they were up earlier than usual and working even harder than usual. Before the sun even broke over the dawn, they were pulling pieces of plywood from the walls of the old dilapidated barn and prying planks of wood from the lumber pile out back. They were stacking them on saw horses carefully...
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