There were 192 spoof news stories published in August 2016. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: High-fives Are Out, Fist-bumps Are In

High-fives Are Out, Fist-bumps Are In

Why? You ask. Well, here are a few possible reasons for the change: -- It may be more sanitary. Not exposing your whole hand to your friend's germs is a good thing. Why let your open palm sap up ALL your friend's germs, when your fist might have contact with only a limited number of them? -- Fingernail grooming may be greatly reduced. Yippee! Groom one thumbnail, and you'll probably be good...
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Funny story: The Bear Who Walks Upright: First Interview

The Bear Who Walks Upright: First Interview

A unique bear in New Jersey (people call him "Pedals") has made headlines doing something that humans do all the time: walking upright. Having two maimed front legs, the bear walks on his back legs, appearing to be, well, almost human. Some people pity him and think he should be captured and sent to a wildlife sanctuary. Others advise a "no interference" policy. The bear claims that his name is...
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Funny story: Trump sues his own mouth following diagnosis of rare disease first described by Shakespeare

Trump sues his own mouth following diagnosis of rare disease first described by Shakespeare

GOP candidate for president Mr. Donald Trump is currently taking himself to court in a suit against his own mouth and its insinuations. Mr. Trump indicates he might be persuaded to call off the suit (with sufficient monetary compensation), but onl...
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Funny story: Mike Pence To Drop Out of VP Race after Trump Calls him "Six Pence"

Mike Pence To Drop Out of VP Race after Trump Calls him "Six Pence"

Washington, D.C.: Sources close to the Trump campaign have indicated that Indiana Governor Mike Pence is dropping out of the U.S. vice- presidential race. Pence claimed that Trump's name calling went too far. Pence was overheard on a live microp...
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Funny story: Trump admits he'd have dated his mother if she hadn't been, you know, his mother

Trump admits he'd have dated his mother if she hadn't been, you know, his mother

Denver, Co. - In an effort to deflect the negative press he's been getting the past few weeks, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump stated this week that his mother, Mary Anne Trump, who passed away in 2000 at the age of 88, was such a good...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Suspends Campaign After Running Out of Adjectives Aimed at the Level of Fourth Graders

Donald Trump Suspends Campaign After Running Out of Adjectives Aimed at the Level of Fourth Graders

TRUMP HEADQUARTERS (that is, Trump's head)--Donald Trump today suspended his campaign after running out of adjectives aimed at his main demographic: Those who speak and write at the level of fourth graders. After "Crooked Hillary" began to get old,...
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Funny story: Poll Predicts Hillary Beats Jesus

Poll Predicts Hillary Beats Jesus

ONLY IN AMERICA - For the last few weeks no one could have missed the Hillary and Donald presidential campaign circus. More acts than Ringling Brothers. More drama than The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Even a high building climb, death defying a...
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Funny story: "Beethoven" star Charles Grodin named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive 2016

"Beethoven" star Charles Grodin named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive 2016

Comedian and actor Charles Grodin recently received a pleasant surprise when People Magazine named him the "Sexiest Man Alive - 2016". The 81-year old responded by smirking and quietly rambling about something to himself. Grodin, star of such m...
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Funny story: Expressing Regrets, Trump Hosts Party in Mexico

Expressing Regrets, Trump Hosts Party in Mexico

Playa del Carmen, Mexico -- Donald J. Trump visited Mexico today in his recent quest to express regrets over his comments about Mexicans. Trump has consistently applied the term "rapists" to Mexicans who cross the border illegally into the United Sta...
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Funny story: First Charisma Awards Competition

First Charisma Awards Competition

Hiram Grabbit of Los Angeles PR firm, LUXIFER INC., has set up what could be a global, national contest to rival Miss World and The Oscars. Luxifer has, in the past, worked closely with Scratchi and Scratchi of London in the business of cultivat...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Hospitalized After Choking on His Own Ego

Donald Trump Hospitalized After Choking on His Own Ego

BURNT CORN, AL--Donald Trump, at a rally Tuesday in Alabama, was hospitalized after he began choking on his own ego. Trump was building up to the peroration of his speech, in which he praised himself as the sole solution to all that ails the Uni...
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Funny story: Girls on Cannes beach arrested for covering up too much

Girls on Cannes beach arrested for covering up too much

Arrested for trop d'habits ("too much attire"), the teenagers were wearing bathing suits from the 1950's, their grandmothers' time. They put on these old bathing suits "for fun" and were actually relieved that men were not always "staring, you kno...
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Funny story: Colin Kaepernick spends night at Holiday Inn, becomes expert in discrimination

Colin Kaepernick spends night at Holiday Inn, becomes expert in discrimination

After spending the previous night at a Holiday Inn, Colin Kaepernick became enlightened to the plight of minorities in the United States, and staged a protest at an NFL pre-season game. "I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a cou...
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Funny story: Shocking Discovery: Trump Actually Giant Puppet Operated by Spoiled Toddler

Shocking Discovery: Trump Actually Giant Puppet Operated by Spoiled Toddler

Many have been mystified by the behavior of 2016 Republican Presidential candidate, Donald Trump: his temper tantrums, nonexistent attention span, lack of basic empathy, inability to allow others attention or respect. But it took behavioral scient...
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Funny story: Bush Reality TV Show A Ratings Hit; 6 More Episodes of "In the Bushes" Released

Bush Reality TV Show A Ratings Hit; 6 More Episodes of "In the Bushes" Released

Los Angeles, LA--The Bush family reality TV show has become a smash hit with six more episodes released. With two ex-Presidents, one failed Presidential candidate, one young Presidential wannabe, and the wives who endure them, Lifetime network now h...
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Funny story: Local charity hero comes to aid of Nigerian prince

Local charity hero comes to aid of Nigerian prince

WORCESTER - A local teenager is being celebrated as a charity hero after he came to the financial aid of a Nigerian prince. Thomas McArthur, 14, of Saint Dunstan's Crescent, received an email from the prince Tuesday night from the unsuspicious em...
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Funny story: Clint Eastwood Gives One Of His Oscars To Donald Trump

Clint Eastwood Gives One Of His Oscars To Donald Trump

After Donald Trump was embarrassed into giving a Purple Heart back to the veteran who earned it, Clint Eastwood offered up one of his four Oscars to The Donald. Speaking at a Trump rally in Denver, Clint Eastwood gave Donald Trump the academy awar...
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Funny story: Distracted Trump Watches Netflix During First Intel Briefing

Distracted Trump Watches Netflix During First Intel Briefing

Washington, DC -- Donald J. Trump was invited to his first intelligence briefing today with staff members of the Director of National Intelligence. As generals and staff spoke about national security concerns, sources close to the candidate stated th...
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Funny story: Olympic athletes forced to live in Brazilian slums!

Olympic athletes forced to live in Brazilian slums!

The Brazilian Olympic committee rapidly closed the Olympic village after it was discovered jungle monkeys were interested in renting out the place. They were observed climbing in and out of empty, abandoned apartments left by Olympians who could not...
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Funny story: Forget the Debates. Let's Find Out Who's the Best Liar

Forget the Debates. Let's Find Out Who's the Best Liar

New York City - - Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump have agreed to cancel their upcoming debate schedule. Instead they will square off in a competition designed to determine who among them is the best liar. "Being able to t...
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Funny story: 2016 NFL Predictions: Part 2

2016 NFL Predictions: Part 2

*Former Minnesota Viking running back Onterrio Smith makes a comeback, not as a player, but as a pitchman for his new Whizzinator-like product to help players beat drug tests. The product, which is endorsed by the estate of Prince, is called the "Pur...
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Funny story: Athletes Line Up To Give Their Awards To Donald Trump

Athletes Line Up To Give Their Awards To Donald Trump

After Clint Eastwood gave Donald Trump one of his Oscars, athletes from the Olympic games, to the NBA and NASCAR have stirred controversy by pledging to give their awards to Donald Trump to show their confidence in his candidacy--Jackie Joyner even o...
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Funny story: Suicide Bombers, Meet the "Bomburkalizer"

Suicide Bombers, Meet the "Bomburkalizer"

Tel Aviv; Israel: A new contraption may save scores of lives across the Middle East and the Western World from the menacing terror of suicide bombers. Israeli scientist have invented a device that fits fashionably on the human body, allows full unenc...
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Funny story: Satan Rebukes Trump, Says He'll Vote Clinton

Satan Rebukes Trump, Says He'll Vote Clinton

Adding his name to the list of prominent Republicans who say they won't vote for Donald Trump, Satan has said he will vote his conscience this fall. Satan, who usually stays behind the scenes at Fox News, made an unusual appearance on the network...
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Funny story: How to make it big in the music biz these days

How to make it big in the music biz these days

So you want to make millions of dollars writing songs, recording these little ditties, and performing them in front of sold-out audiences, right? The first order of business is: Do you need any talent? Hell no, you don't. It's not like the old day...
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Funny story: Chris Christie Scales Trump Tower with Toilet Plungers Begging for Meeting

Chris Christie Scales Trump Tower with Toilet Plungers Begging for Meeting

New York City, NY - NJ Governor Chris Christie was reportedly seen scaling Trump Tower using two toilet bowl plungers and a rope to try to secure a meeting with Donald J. Trump. Gov. Christie climbed to the second floor of the famous glass tower onl...
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Funny story: ISIS likely to host 2024 Olympics

ISIS likely to host 2024 Olympics

Chairman Luger Spence today announced a new entry in the field of 2024 Olympic hosts adding that "if Isis can pull this off, it would be hard to make any other choice." The announcement was made by a very distressed looking Mr. Spence at an unnam...
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Funny story: 69% of all Americans Approve of Oral Sex

69% of all Americans Approve of Oral Sex

A clinical research study at the Upjohn Downjill University Think Tank has concluded a favorable opinion of oral sex. A diverse collection of information was gathered stating that when asked about sexual gratification and where the subjects found...
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Funny story: Melissa McCarthy denies "crazy rumors" that she is actually Chris Farley

Melissa McCarthy denies "crazy rumors" that she is actually Chris Farley

The entertainment industry is notorious for spawning theories about deceased stars. For instance, Tupac Shakur is said by some to be alive and well despite his high profile murder in the late nineties. The latest theory surrounds Chris Farley and...
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Funny story: "The Boss" breaks his own record

"The Boss" breaks his own record

Last night at the Meadowlands, Bruce Springsteen shattered his own record by going on a 47-minute monologue segueing beautifully between a somber ATLANTIC CITY and a raucous Rosalita. The crowd used this time to use the bathroom, text their...
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Funny story: Local Woman Literally Can't Even

Local Woman Literally Can't Even

Zara Beresford was rescued from her home last night by paramedics that were called to the scene with reports that she literally couldn't even. She was taking pictures of her dinner when she suddenly realised that the left and right sides of her br...
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Funny story: Michael Phelps Credits Brazil's "Thin Water" with Gold Medal Win

Michael Phelps Credits Brazil's "Thin Water" with Gold Medal Win

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil--Michael Phelps credited Brazil's "thin water" for his recent gold medal win. Phelps stated that the "thin water" in Brazil makes him and others swim faster, allowing them to shatter World records. "It's the thin water," sa...
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Funny story: NFL to switch field material from turf to pillows this season

NFL to switch field material from turf to pillows this season

After rising fears that their ratings might suffer from the competition generated by Olympic Ping Pong, the NFL cancelled their first preseason game using hard paint as an excuse. When pressed about the matter Roger Goodell acted in his typical...
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Funny story: The tooth and nothing but the tooth: Donald Trump defends dental floss

The tooth and nothing but the tooth: Donald Trump defends dental floss

New York - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has come down hard on the recent government report that calls dental floss "a waste of time." "This is bad news, folks," Trump said. "First they rigged the dentist chair so they could play...
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Funny story: If You Don't Support Hillary, You're a Bigot!

If You Don't Support Hillary, You're a Bigot!

I'm sick of all these privileged bigots who are demeaning and denigrating Hillary. So I am here to educate you on why you MUST stop this. Here are the ignorant fools who need to check their privilege. 1. Iraqi orphans. Iraqi orphans have orp...
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Funny story: Tim Tebow joins Women's Olympic Gymnastics Team

Tim Tebow joins Women's Olympic Gymnastics Team

After toiling in the NFL for a number of highly paid, but disappointingly unproductive seasons, Tim Tebow has decided to take his show on a different road. In the midst of their gold medal run at the Rio Olympics, the U.S. Women's Olympic Gymnas...
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Funny story: Feds Seize Record 10 Tons Of Organic Chicken from KFC

Feds Seize Record 10 Tons Of Organic Chicken from KFC

The announcement by the FDA on Wednesday morning has sent a shock wave through the U.S. fast food industry and startled even its most loyal consumer base. The discovery, hidden in near plain sight within KFC's supply chain, has shaken the very t...
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Funny story: David Moyes becomes an Undertaker!

David Moyes becomes an Undertaker!

Stuttering, sub-standard, soccer manager, David Moyes who once ruled the roost at mighty Manchester United for only 10 months as The Chosen One, Everton and Real Sociedad, who gave him a Spanish boot in the cojones too, has decided enough is enough!...
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Funny story: Slovenia Demands that Melania Return Home

Slovenia Demands that Melania Return Home

Ljubljana, Slovenia - The government of Slovenia, through its Ministry of Justice, together with the Slovenian Financial Administration, has issued a formal demand on Melanija Knavs, now known Mrs. Melania Trump, to return to her home country. T...
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Funny story: Williamsport Tells the World to… F*%$ Off!

Williamsport Tells the World to… F*%$ Off!

The small city of Williamsport, Pa first became a borough March 1, 1806. Late in the 19th Century Williamsport was known as "The Lumber Capital of the World" and once housed more millionaires per capita than anywhere else on the globe. Now those...
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Funny story: New Startup W&P raises 12 million in funding

New Startup W&P raises 12 million in funding

New technology startup W&P announced today that they have raised 12 million in funding from private investors. The smartphone app is fighting to become the first of its kind. W&P, which stands for Wiped and Pretty, tracks the progress of us...
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Funny story: Hillary Shoots Teenager On Fifth Avenue

Hillary Shoots Teenager On Fifth Avenue

While Donald Trump mesmerized the media and the public with his crazy antics, Hillary Clinton was the one to actually shoot someone on New York's Fifth Avenue. It all unfolded as Clinton was shopping before a political rally on New York's famous...
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Funny story: Trump Self Deports Jesus

Trump Self Deports Jesus

Completely misunderstanding Mitt Romney's concept of self deportation, Donald Trump took it upon himself to deport a man to his home country. Now Donald Trump and his staff are facing kidnapping and terrorism charges after forcing Jesus Chavez, a US...
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Funny story: Jeremy Corbyn forced to sit on the floor due to lack of seats in the House of Commons

Jeremy Corbyn forced to sit on the floor due to lack of seats in the House of Commons

WESTMINSTER, LONDON - Current leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn, was forced to sit on the floor of the House of Commons due to a lack of seats it emerged this week. Posting a video of himself seated on the floor he said that the House was...
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Funny story: Trump suspends campaign amid rumors of mysterious Freeka virus!

Trump suspends campaign amid rumors of mysterious Freeka virus!

The wire services broke the news this past hour that Donald Trump has suspended his campaign for President! An inside source has informed the New York Times that the offices are closed and that Trump and the entire staff have checked into a little kn...
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Funny story: Trump Claims Autopsy was Rigged, Blames Clinton

Trump Claims Autopsy was Rigged, Blames Clinton

Associated Press, June 18, 2032: Donald Trump today disputed the results of his own autopsy. "I do not suffer from Whinorrhea," he stated. Trump insisted that President Clinton had tampered with the results, and claimed that he had seen televisio...
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Funny story: Cosby Gives First Interview in Over a Year

Cosby Gives First Interview in Over a Year

Silver Spring, MD-Bill Cosby agreed to be interviewed before his upcoming court appearance. Cosby has been charged with sexual assault in a 2005 case and has been accused of sexual assault by 60 women. The first question was "Dr. Cosby, the most r...
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Funny story: Local racist worried Trump just pandering

Local racist worried Trump just pandering

A local man expressed concern today that Donald Trump's latest racially charged outburst may have been less than sincere. "It just seems a little too good to be true," said self-described racist Fred Stewart outside of a Trump rally in Minneapoli...
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Funny story: Donald Trump's America: A Review

Donald Trump's America: A Review

My wife and I went to see a movie called Trump's America at a local multiplex which will remain unnamed. When I purchased the tickets for the movie, the cashier behind the window asked to see my and my wife's photo IDs, to make sure we weren't Mexic...
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Funny story: APA Classifies Goth As "Narcissistic Depressive Disorder"

APA Classifies Goth As "Narcissistic Depressive Disorder"

The American Psychiatric Association released a controversial statement this week that classifies goth style as a condition to be treated with anti-depressants. APA spokesman Cole Redpost suggested in a press release that families and loved ones of those suffering from Goth or Narcissistic Depressive Disorder now have medical treatment options to choose from for NDD sufferers. "The APA is re...
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Funny story: British Government to take guns and knives away from prisoners

British Government to take guns and knives away from prisoners

In a bold move to reduce prison violence, the British government has announced that it will be taking away guns and knives from prisoners. The policy, which will be introduced in early 2017, will mean that prisoners in UK jails will no longer be able...
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Funny story: Jesus Tasered After Walking Into Church

Jesus Tasered After Walking Into Church

33 year old two time zombie Jesus of Nazareth was tasered by an off duty policeman Sunday morning after he entered a Catholic church during mass. Witnesses from a home across the street from the church report seeing "some scroungy looking guy" ent...
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Funny story: Trumps Emails Said To Be Hacked By Russian Spies Posing As Nigerian 'Prince'

Trumps Emails Said To Be Hacked By Russian Spies Posing As Nigerian 'Prince'

Russian agents posing as a Nigerian prince reportedly hacked GOP Presidential candidate Donald J Trump's private email address more than four months ago. However, unlike the recent Democrats National Committee breach which resulted in the release of...
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Funny story: Trump-Corbyn Syndrome Defined As New Mental Disorder

Trump-Corbyn Syndrome Defined As New Mental Disorder

New editions of two major mental disorder classification manuals are to list Trump-Corbyn Syndrome (TCS) as a mental disorder. The naming of the condition was inspired by the behaviour of Donald Trump's supporters in the US and Jeremy Corbyn's sup...
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Funny story: Rio 2016: Trump latest to criticize Gabby Douglas, confuses her with Leslie Jones

Rio 2016: Trump latest to criticize Gabby Douglas, confuses her with Leslie Jones

The 2016 Rio Olympic Games have been a wild ride for US gymnast Gabby Douglas. After exiting competition with only one gold medal in the team event, and failing to medal in her lone individual event, Douglas became the subject of social media scr...
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Funny story: Will Penis Enlargement For White Men Advance Racial Harmony?

Will Penis Enlargement For White Men Advance Racial Harmony?

In a landmark study, psychologist Cedra Meadows has shown that when non-black men feel their penis size is adequate, all races around them tend to get a more fair shake in social and economic opportunities. In an excerpt from an interview for Psychology Today, Meadows talked about her study and some surprising conclusions. PT: What started your research in this field at a time when psycholog...
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Funny story: Does This Election Season Have You Wanting to Pull Out Your Hair?

Does This Election Season Have You Wanting to Pull Out Your Hair?

It's been a grueling 18 months of listening to Donald Trump's "policies" and Hillary Clinton's ongoing email saga. Much like boxing, the two opponents have been talking smack about one another before going head-to-head in the debate rounds. Come...
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Funny story: Trump Chooses Three Substitutes to Debate Hillary

Trump Chooses Three Substitutes to Debate Hillary

New York, NY - Donald J. Trump announced today that he will be unavailable for the three scheduled debates with Hillary Clinton and that the campaign has hired three substitutes. Trump's substitutes will be Senator Elizabeth Warren for the domestic...
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Funny story: The Chamber of Commerce of the Gateway to Death's Bus Tour in 2025

The Chamber of Commerce of the Gateway to Death's Bus Tour in 2025

Just down the road a ways the Chamber of Commerce of the Gateway to Death is having a bus tour. The attendees of this gala are sparse. The Gateway of Death's Mayor and Safety-Service Director were expecting a much larger turnout, but only three peopl...
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Funny story: Austin To Secede From Texas, Join California

Austin To Secede From Texas, Join California

The blog site "Rest-of-Texas-sucks. Com," an Austin based site, sneeringly refers to the remainder of Texas outside Austin as "A land of big oil, big business, big cars, big men with big mouths, big guns, big bigoted morons, and big-haired women who...
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Funny story: Britain enters into Alliance with San Marino, Andorra and the Vatican

Britain enters into Alliance with San Marino, Andorra and the Vatican

In the aftermath of Brexit and desperate to boost its economy, Britain has joined forces with San Marino, Andorra and the Vatican City State to form a new world-beating trading alliance. Now that the doors of the EU and EFTA have been firmly shut on...
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Funny story: Anti-drugs campaign causes controversy

Anti-drugs campaign causes controversy

The Police Service of Northern Ireland has broken records worldwide today as they began their new anti-drugs campaign and immediately reduced Belfast's drug consumption to zero. However, gay rights activists have called the campaign "crass" and "unbe...
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Funny story: Seagull Asks Beach-goers to Provide Nutritious Snacks

Seagull Asks Beach-goers to Provide Nutritious Snacks

In a press conference on the shore of Piney Beach NJ Fred the Seagull stood at the podium and implored "I have called this conference to ask people to please be more careful with the food items you bring to the beach, many of us pipers, seagulls, and...
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Funny story: Bush Family To Debut "In the Bushes" Reality TV Show

Bush Family To Debut "In the Bushes" Reality TV Show

Dallas, TX--Members of the Bush family have begun filming a reality TV show featuring two Presidents, one failed Presidential candidate, one President wannabe and the wives who endure them. The first six episodes have already been filmed and will be...
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Funny story: Trump Reveals Test Questions For Immigrants

Trump Reveals Test Questions For Immigrants

In his speech today in Ohio, Donald Trump outlined his plans to combat Islamic extremism, including creating an ideological test for immigrants entering the country. It includes questions addressing how each applicant views American values. The...
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Funny story: Woman's Genetic Roots Gnarled With Irish Shame

Woman's Genetic Roots Gnarled With Irish Shame

Dayton OH: Margaret Lypchits just hasn't been the same since her 58th birthday resolution to do a "life make-over". She explains; "I'd been divorced for 8 years. My maiden name is Lypchits which I legally changed it back to around a year ago. My husband left me for a younger thinner woman- just like you'd go do a trade in for a new car. I decided that before 60 I wanted to loose the 130lbs I've be...
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Funny story: Resistance to Berneesta shrivelosis emboldens Neo-McCarthyism at Hotel Harbinger

Resistance to Berneesta shrivelosis emboldens Neo-McCarthyism at Hotel Harbinger

Spoof deep investigations have followed developments at the Democratic National Convention into what is taking place behind the current accusations against Trump and Russia. At the seen-better-days but obscure Hotel Harbinger not far from Hillary...
View 'Resistance to Berneesta shrivelosis emboldens Neo-McCarthyism at Hotel Harbinger'
Funny story: Marine Le Pen: "burkini" bans support women's rights

Marine Le Pen: "burkini" bans support women's rights

Six French cities have now banned the "burkini," or the new swimsuit used by Muslim women who wish to remain pious while using public swimming areas, which covers everything but the face, hands and feet. Opponents of the bans, such as the Center...
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Funny story: Pokemon Go Players Killed on Artillery Range

Pokemon Go Players Killed on Artillery Range

A group of eight geeky university frat house buddies was instantly killed by a single round from an M777 self-propelled howitzer when they ventured onto a firing range at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. "Training accidents are always tragic", read a statemen...
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Funny story: God's real, and he's a man

God's real, and he's a man

The world's favourite atheist Richard Dawkins today announced that he had inadvertently proved the existence of a higher power with a penis. He was seen to be sitting in an Oxford pub before he threw his drink to ground, leapt to his feet and ran out...
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Funny story: Hillary Spotted at Trump Rally, Screams out to Bill for Help

Hillary Spotted at Trump Rally, Screams out to Bill for Help

Fairfield, CT -- At a rally last night, Donald J. Trump spotted a woman in the audience suspected to be Hillary Clinton. As Trump called for her "immediate eviction", the crowd became more rowdy. The mysterious woman raced out of the stadium, scream...
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Funny story: Legendary ESPN Sportscaster's Cause of Death Identified -Choked on Gallons Of Freshly Squirted Semen

Legendary ESPN Sportscaster's Cause of Death Identified -Choked on Gallons Of Freshly Squirted Semen

Baltimore, MD - He was so different. He was black but Canadian. He was black and specialized in Hockey commentary and play by play, sometimes assuming a fake French accent when he did the latter at a velocity quicker than even the most amped up Per...
View 'Legendary ESPN Sportscaster's Cause of Death Identified -Choked on Gallons Of Freshly Squirted Semen'
Funny story: Trump Blames Elvis, Mickey

Trump Blames Elvis, Mickey

Associated Press, August 13, 2016: At a campaign rally today, republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said that Elvis Presley was to blame for the 1970's. "You want to know who was responsible for the 70's," Trump told his supporters, "it...
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Funny story: "It's 2016," declare researchers

"It's 2016," declare researchers

Researchers from the Blue Sky Institute of San Francisco published ground-breaking research earlier this week that confirmed earlier theories posited by Justin Trudeau, earlier this year. "It's, umm, really quite interesting," panted Dr. Jones, th...
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Funny story: With Ryan Lochte Out, Trump Lands Speedo

With Ryan Lochte Out, Trump Lands Speedo

New York City, NY - With Ryan Lochte losing his Speedo sponsorship amidst an international Olympic scandal, Donald J. Trump has been selected as Speedo's newest spokesperson. As part of the lucrative contract, Trump has agreed to wear a Speedo under...
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Funny story: Donald Trump's Pants Catch Fire

Donald Trump's Pants Catch Fire

Did Donald Trump's karma finally catch up with him when his pants caught fire this week? After tweeting his millionth or so lie, Donald Trump had his limo pull over on a California highway when he smelled something burning. As The Donald stepped...
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Funny story: Trump Hears from God While Trapped on Elevator

Trump Hears from God While Trapped on Elevator

Colorado Springs, CO: Donald Trump claimed in his stump speech that he heard a message from God while trapped on an elevator just before a rally in Colorado Springs. "You know," he stated, "I need to say it, I shouldn't, but okay I will. I was t...
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Funny story: How the "unbiased" media gets it right about Trump

How the "unbiased" media gets it right about Trump

There has been some speculation and complaints from the Donald Trump camp that the press has been treating him unfairly. They take his own words and morph them into some racial innuendos or inflammatory rhetoric and then pile on with hundreds of nega...
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Funny story: Donald Trump: A Closet Democrat

Donald Trump: A Closet Democrat

Yes, Donald Trump is not Rich Uncle Pennybags in a top hat, but a baseball cap, hammer and nails, lunch pail carrying Democrat, determined to give the White House, the Senate and House to his secret political party of choice: The Democrats. What...
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Funny story: President Trump Takes Credit for Puerto Rico's Economic Miracle

President Trump Takes Credit for Puerto Rico's Economic Miracle

Speaking from the Oval Office on Christmas Eve, President Trump bombarded the American people with a summary of his accomplishments during his first four years in the White House and a sneak preview of his plans for his second term. After running th...
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Funny story: Hillary Reveals Chicken Butt Tattoo To Woo Millenials: Trump Reacts

Hillary Reveals Chicken Butt Tattoo To Woo Millenials: Trump Reacts

BILLINGSGATE POST: In an attempt to woo undecided Millennial voters, Hillary Clinton yesterday went against traditional Democratic values to reveal what a casual observer might suggest is a tattoo of the business end of a chicken's alimentary canal.
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Funny story: Canadian government announces wall will be built with the United States

Canadian government announces wall will be built with the United States

Ottawa, Canada - In a shocking move, the Canadian government has announced it will be building a wall with the United States. Originally they weren't planning to build a wall along the entire US border, but the government insisted that a wall would m...
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Funny story: The graphics are better than your eyes!

The graphics are better than your eyes!

The release of the OceanX virtual reality goggles caused a stir in the gaming industry today when it was revealed that its visual display had better graphics than the human eye can process. Described as the "Holy Grail" of virtual reality, the Oce...
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Funny story: The South Rises Again? South Carolina Votes to Leave European Union

The South Rises Again? South Carolina Votes to Leave European Union

Following a hotly contested statewide referendum, South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley sent shock waves through international economies when she announced that South Carolina citizens, by a margin of over eighty-six percent, had voted to secede from t...
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Funny story: Roger Ailes Takes Over The Spoof, Writers Replaced By Robots

Roger Ailes Takes Over The Spoof, Writers Replaced By Robots

Kicked out of the news organization that he founded, embattled former Fox CEO Roger Ailes has just purchased The Spoof. The disgraced Ailes bought this publication in a $30,000 deal that he hopes to use to rebuild himself as a media mogul. Shock...
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Funny story: Transfer Speculation Part Three

Transfer Speculation Part Three

More transfer news coming at you quicker than a speeding train as you lie on the tracks of life. After keeping our ears on the ground and risking getting trampled on Back and to the Left news have caught wind of five more transfer "done" deals. •...
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Funny story: Mick Jagger enters Labour Party Leadership Contest

Mick Jagger enters Labour Party Leadership Contest

Backed by his sidekick, Keith Richards, septuagenarian Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones announced at a press conference yesterday that he will be competing for the Labour Party leadership currently being contested by, well, anyone in the party who c...
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Funny story: Trump never wanted to win the presidency

Trump never wanted to win the presidency

Sources inside the Trump campaign, on a condition of anonymity, have revealed that Donald Trump never had any intention of winning the Presidency. They say with the making Brietbart's News' combative far-right Chief Executive Steve Bannon and Roge...
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Funny story: Pete Rose Says He Should Be in the Baseball Hall of Fame Since He Never Did Steroids

Pete Rose Says He Should Be in the Baseball Hall of Fame Since He Never Did Steroids

Cooperstown, NY Sounding like the desperate attempt of an aging one-time superstar to get into Baseball's Hall of Fame that it is, Pete Rose made a startling announcement today. "The truth is, even though they didn't have steroids when I was playi...
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Funny story: Gary Glitter accused of "possessing Gary Glitter records"

Gary Glitter accused of "possessing Gary Glitter records"

Shamed entertainer and glam rock star Gary Glitter faces new charges at London's Old Bailey today accused of possessing Gary Glitter records and conspiracy to record a new album. Mr. Glitter, which I suspect may be a stage name, is understood to...
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Funny story: Obama Admits Birthers Got It Right, Italians Celebrate

Obama Admits Birthers Got It Right, Italians Celebrate

Washington, DC - In what pundits are calling "Birthers of a Nation," President Barack Obama today acknowledged that "perhaps" he was born outside the United States to foreign parents and therefore did not qualify to become President. It was a stunnin...
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Funny story: With Poll Numbers in Free Fall, Trump, Pence Jump Out of Plane

With Poll Numbers in Free Fall, Trump, Pence Jump Out of Plane

Grand Teton, Wyoming: Facing a free fall in numerous recent polls, Donald J. Trump and Mike Pence jumped out of an airplane yesterday as a publicity stunt to prove that that they can recover from such a precipitous drop. They survived. It has be...
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Funny story: Genitalia eating fish with human teeth threat did NOT come from Trump

Genitalia eating fish with human teeth threat did NOT come from Trump

Spokespersons for Mr. Trump have rushed forward to clarify that Mr. Trump has absolutely nothing to do with the latest alarm concerning genitalia eating fish with human teeth. The pacu under scrutiny (related to the piranha) favors male genitalia...
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Funny story: Russians Hack Medical Records: Both Trump And Clinton Unfit For Office

Russians Hack Medical Records: Both Trump And Clinton Unfit For Office

Donald Trump's challenge to Russian hackers to find the dirt on Hillary Clinton has backfired as Wikileaks released hacked medical records damaging to both Clinton and Trump. The revelations that neither candidate is physically fit to run a lemona...
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Funny story: Wayne Rooney's final wig attempt televised live on Facebook!

Wayne Rooney's final wig attempt televised live on Facebook!

Facebook have decided to show a unique insight into the bald life of superstar footballer, Wayne Rooney, tonight! They will be live-streaming his road to baldness live and there will even be close-ups of several attempts to reconstruct his thinning,...
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Funny story: New Trump sign interpreter just man flicking off camera

New Trump sign interpreter just man flicking off camera

Citing cost concerns and staffing issues, a spokesman announced Thursday that the Trump campaign will be replacing formally trained sign interpreters with a man just constantly extending his middle finger at all times. The spokesman added that in...
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Funny story: Artificial Intelligence tells humans to "GET OUT"

Artificial Intelligence tells humans to "GET OUT"

An untraceable message appearing randomly on Facebook and Instagram accounts is asking people to leave the planet. "Thanks for everything" the message begins "but I shall not be in need of your services any longer so please leave" The name...
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Funny story: Hell to be renamed Hell-upon-Thames

Hell to be renamed Hell-upon-Thames

HELL-UPON-THAMES - Following in the footsteps of Staines, which recently re-named itself Staines-upon-Thames, Satan has declared that he will re-name Hell Hell-upon-Thames, as part of a £60 million publicity campaign to increase tourism to the region...
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Funny story: Walcott's Wing Worry

Walcott's Wing Worry

One of Arsenals professional injury specialists has came out in support of the new England manager and finally clarified the position he wants to play. Surprisingly it's not left back on the fracture ward. Theo Walcott has stated that he "wants' t...
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Funny story: Hold your nose party reports delay with new weight scales on "lesser evil" problem

Hold your nose party reports delay with new weight scales on "lesser evil" problem

The HNP (Hold Your Nose Party), currently instrumental in resolving the "But just who is the lesser evil of the two major candidates question," is experiencing some delay. In review, Mr. Arnold Batorswich, Director of the HNP, recently stepped for...
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