There were 184 spoof news stories published in May 2015. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Princess Charlotte Is Already Tweeting!

Princess Charlotte Is Already Tweeting!

Yep, you read that right. She started at four days old and there's no stopping her. Here's a sample of her tweets: -- Slept through homecoming from the hospital. I was bored. -- Hate my plain knitted cap. Fit for a peasant. Would it have kil...
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Funny story: IBM sells itself to self

IBM sells itself to self

From the moment the bell rang, the stock market went bananas. For days it had been rumored that IBM was up to something. For the entire week the stock reflected unusual activity. The volume had increased from its usual daily volume of 12 million to 1...
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Funny story: Airbag giant explodes with ideas to repurpose its rejects

Airbag giant explodes with ideas to repurpose its rejects

Tokyo - The largest recall in automotive history has left auto-parts fabricator Takata holding the bag… Or more specifically holding 34 million defective airbags. Problem is, the devices have a tendency to go off like bombs, whenever the weath...
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Funny story: Man Walking Dog In Woods Doesn't Find Murder Victim

Man Walking Dog In Woods Doesn't Find Murder Victim

A man walking his dog in a wooded area near Evesham has told friends how, despite expecting to any minute, he didn't find a mutilated corpse, the victim of some gruesome revenge killing or spontaneous, frenzied 'rape-gone-wrong'. The man, Ernest N...
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Funny story: Police officer sues Starbucks for million dollars. Gained 300 pounds on free doughnuts!

Police officer sues Starbucks for million dollars. Gained 300 pounds on free doughnuts!

The Raleigh News & Observer is reporting this morning that a Raleigh police officer is suing Starbucks for one million dollars. His lawsuit states that he gained over three hundred pounds in three years from free donuts he had been given at the...
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Funny story: Rory Breaks Up With Hampster, Wins Twice!

Rory Breaks Up With Hampster, Wins Twice!

Charlotte, NC - It seems to any keen golf fan that World #1 golfer, Rory McIlroy, plays best after he has parted ways in a relationship. Last year, after kicking his fiancee, Woz, to the curb, he immediately won two big tournaments. Now, according to...
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Funny story: Technological home breakthrough

Technological home breakthrough

Havvanna Stairlifts have just announced their latest innovation for the modern home with elderly relatives living in. A built in commode for the stairlift to save those poor old crumblies the inconvenience of going to the bathroom and pissing all ove...
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Funny story: Sidibe/Curry Rom-Com Pulled from Theaters

Sidibe/Curry Rom-Com Pulled from Theaters

For the first time in showbiz history a motion picture has been pulled from screens across the U.S. due to it's disastrous economy wrecking title. The romantic comedy, starring Gabourey Sidibe and Tim Curry, was about a May/December romance that b...
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Funny story: The final word on Deflate-gate

The final word on Deflate-gate

Editor's note: On Saturday, May 24, Patriots coach Bill Belichick conducted a press conference to provide the final word on the ball-inflation investigation. The full transcript as provided by the team appears below. BB: I want to take this opport...
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Funny story: SouthWest Airline's New "Pass The Bottle" Policy

SouthWest Airline's New "Pass The Bottle" Policy

Phoenix, AZ - Gas prices are on the rise once again, and once again this means that our nation's airlines are busy coming up with sneaky new tactics to gouge a few more dollars out of the old bottom line. This week, SouthWest Airlines announced it's...
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Funny story: A science experiment in Boston: Three stories of trash and half a $5 bill encased in ice remain as Old Man Winter heads south for a while

A science experiment in Boston: Three stories of trash and half a $5 bill encased in ice remain as Old Man Winter heads south for a while

BOSTON, Mass. - Remember that horrible Boston winter that had a blizzard effect all over the cable news networks? Well it's still around. It's not snowing on the East Coast now that Memorial Day has come and gone, but the remnants of last winter stan...
View 'A science experiment in Boston: Three stories of trash and half a $5 bill encased in ice remain as Old Man Winter heads south for a while'
Funny story: Tom Brady Only Semi Deflated After Suspension

Tom Brady Only Semi Deflated After Suspension

Boston, MA - In the wake of the on going Deflate-Gate football nonsense investigation that has been gripping all of America for many months now, Tom Brady was handed, what most in the sporting world see, as a rather harsh penalty, a four game sus...
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Funny story: Rapper .50 cent Lowers His Price For Walmart Ad

Rapper .50 cent Lowers His Price For Walmart Ad

Los Angeles, CA - Rapper .50 cent has apparently completed terms on a contract with retail giant Walmart, in an agreement to cross-market one and others brands. The Walmart folks want America to know that there is nothing that they can't cut the pric...
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Funny story: Police arrest man who failed to use knife and fork in Didsbury restaurant

Police arrest man who failed to use knife and fork in Didsbury restaurant

Staff and diners were left disgusted when a man eating at a restaurant blatantly refused to use his knife and fork and ate with his fingers. The 52-year-old was eating a margherita pizza at Zizzi's restaurant in Didsbury, Manchester at 1pm today.
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Funny story: Tom Cruise Tells North Dakota High School Class "You Can Do It!"

Tom Cruise Tells North Dakota High School Class "You Can Do It!"

Shit City, North Dakota - Celebrity Tom Cruise likes to give back. Having given millions of dollars to homeless men and women throughout Canada and New Zealand, the actor says he now wishes to "deign to condescend to backwoods hicks" and has schedul...
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Funny story: Tracy Morgan settles suit with Walmart

Tracy Morgan settles suit with Walmart

Today Tracy Morgan, famed comedian and star of many funny programs, settled his automobile head-trauma case with not-so-funny Walmart. The terms of the settlement were confidential, but for a price, (undisclosed,) we were able to determine the gen...
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Funny story: Candidate Sanders picks Colonel Sanders for VEEP slot

Candidate Sanders picks Colonel Sanders for VEEP slot

Burlington, Vermont -- Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has selected deceased fast food mogul Col. Harlan David Sanders as his vice presidential running mate. Asked to describe the "flavor" of their campaign, Col. Sanders said: "It...
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Funny story: Manchester United star Ashley Young banned from shopping for six months for speeding in supermarket aisle

Manchester United star Ashley Young banned from shopping for six months for speeding in supermarket aisle

Manchester United star Ashley Young has been banned from shopping for six months for speeding in a supermarket aisle. The 28-year-old England international admitted to pushing his trolley at 5mph on a 3mph section of Aisle 8 at the Tesco on Parrs...
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Funny story: 'New species' of ancient human found

'New species' of ancient human found

A new species of ancient human has been unearthed in the Afar region of Ethiopia, scientists report. Researchers discovered jaw bones and teeth, which date to between 3.3m and 3.5m years old.The teeth showed signs of violent clenching and grinding...
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Funny story: Man jailed for not eating a chocolate bar quickly enough

Man jailed for not eating a chocolate bar quickly enough

A former council worker who did not eat a chocolate bar quickly enough on a very hot day, leaving it completely melted, has been jailed for 11 years. Under the extended sentence for chocolate product protection, Joey Smith will have to serve two-t...
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Funny story: Untidy School Kids are new Young Entrepreneurs

Untidy School Kids are new Young Entrepreneurs

Teen Students who leave litter in School Canteens and on the street, are the new creators of employment. 'We need these brilliant young people', say Business Gurus. By discarding their packaging and other filth, they are ensuring future employment...
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Funny story: Anonymous Hacks Autocorrect, Changes Every Fourth Word To Pizza

Anonymous Hacks Autocorrect, Changes Every Fourth Word To Pizza

The cyber watchdog group Anonymous just issued a statement claiming responsibility for the latest internet attack that has journalists, bloggers, texting addicts and people searching for cat videos all over the world shaking their fists in frustratio...
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Funny story: 10 year old girl arrested after drawing hopscotch grid on the pavement outside her home

10 year old girl arrested after drawing hopscotch grid on the pavement outside her home

* Danielle Blackburn was arrested by police for drawing on the pavement outside her home in Kent * Father, Mick Blackburn, fully supports police over the arrest  A schoolgirl was arrested by police for drawing a hopscotch grid on the pavement,...
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Funny story: Obama orders military to battle global warming

Obama orders military to battle global warming

Top pentagon officials were quick to react in the wake of President Obama's recent proclamation to graduates of a military academy that "climate change" is a top "threat to "global security" and that military leaders who don't take appropriate action...
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Funny story: World Naked Bike Ride

World Naked Bike Ride

Police were forced to intervene in the naked cycling event in Canterbury - after reports one of the riders got 'overexcited'. The 'aroused' cyclist was pulled aside and put his jeans back on before being spoken to by officers. Superintendant Ro...
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Funny story: Teenager went for drunken night out in Oldham... and woke up in a crater on the moon

Teenager went for drunken night out in Oldham... and woke up in a crater on the moon

* Sam Barry was getting a cab home when he decided to go to the moon * Booked flight from phone and woke up at South Pole-Aitken basin, the capital crater of the moon * 19-year-old said he won't use passport as ID when he goes clubbing again...
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Funny story: Pro Golfer Erik Compton Gets A Quick Liver Switch

Pro Golfer Erik Compton Gets A Quick Liver Switch

Dallas, TX - Our man, Chip Fairway, is out on the long lonely pro golf trail, where it's Texas Swing time on the PGA Tour. Along the way, he has uncovered the tale of a man who has seen some adversity on his way to becoming a pro golf journey man. Er...
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Funny story: Endangered species no longer endangered

Endangered species no longer endangered

It has been "leaked" from Dr. Phineas Provolone, Chair of the Ornithology Section of the Smithsonian, and will appear in tomorrow's "Bird and Cuckoo Digest," that an endangered bird specie is no longer endangered. The leaked information is in the...
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Funny story: Political Cartoonist Purchases Famous Internet Image Board

Political Cartoonist Purchases Famous Internet Image Board

A renowned political cartoonist has recently purchased a famous internet image board known for its dark humor and political incorrectness. The political cartoonist has had hard times with their career as a political cartoonist due to the lack of...
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Funny story: Scientists Unveil Fartiest Galaxy

Scientists Unveil Fartiest Galaxy

NASA Scientists unveiled detailed photos of the fartiest galaxy in the known universe.The Odor Difourus Gallaxy,located behind the belt of the Orion Constellation, which is now making it's decent in the summer sky of the Northern Hemisphere, is well...
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Funny story: Liberation Of Tibet Imminent - Dalai Lama ecstatically states that Tibet will once again be his and celebrates with the buying of surfs!

Liberation Of Tibet Imminent - Dalai Lama ecstatically states that Tibet will once again be his and celebrates with the buying of surfs!

The Dalai who is quickly approaching his eightieth birthday has said recently "This will be the year!" referring the end of Tibetan struggle with China being aligned with his eightieth birthday. A well-established fact amongst most of the Dalai Lama'...
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Funny story: Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave

Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave

- IFL Group, an Internet marketing agency in Aberdeen brought in the system - Punishment is used on 'a minority' of workers with low productivity or who misbehave - Bosses smacking their employees will 'encourage other workers to work harder'...
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Funny story: Murderer Kevin Williams walks out of prison in Eastchurch on Sheppey, Kent

Murderer Kevin Williams walks out of prison in Eastchurch on Sheppey, Kent

A convicted murderer walked out of an open prison by "asking the prison guards nicely to open the gate" and went to stay with a friend, a court heard. Police tracked down Kevin Williams at flats in Sheerness and instead of going back to Standford...
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Funny story: God has resigned

God has resigned

In a shock announcement this morning God announced his resignation over the outcome of the UK General Election in which David Cameron was reelected with an overall majority. An angel appeared in our offices this morning with the announcement, whe...
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Funny story: Boyfriend knows girlfriend is exactly one glass of wine away from falling asleep on couch

Boyfriend knows girlfriend is exactly one glass of wine away from falling asleep on couch

Charlie Barlow reported with confidence on Saturday night that his girlfriend Stacey Cunnings was just one glass of wine away from passing out on the couch and leaving him in peace to go on his laptop the rest of the night and have some "me" time.
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Funny story: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Called in to Ward Off Government Invasion of Texas

Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Called in to Ward Off Government Invasion of Texas

DALLAS, TX--Gov. Greg Abbott, fearing an invasion by the federal government this week, called in the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders to ward off what many in the Loon Star State believe is an invasion designed to take over Texas and force all of its unins...
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Funny story: Hope Stupidly Springs Eternal for Struggling New Yorkers

Hope Stupidly Springs Eternal for Struggling New Yorkers

According to recent polls, over 70 percent of New York City residents remain ridiculously optimistic about their futures despite overwhelming indications that nothing in their personal or professional lives will ever change for the better, thereby pr...
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Funny story: "Exhausted" Manu Ginobili Returning To Nazi War Criminal Compound In Argentina To Contemplate Basketball Future

"Exhausted" Manu Ginobili Returning To Nazi War Criminal Compound In Argentina To Contemplate Basketball Future

Los Angeles, CA - A subdued Manu Ginobli has a lot to think about following the San Antonio Spurs heartbreaking game 7 loss to the Los Angeles Clippers in a hard fought first round series that many think featured championship caliber play. Ginobli s...
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Funny story: 'Heartless' thief steals Disability Scooter

'Heartless' thief steals Disability Scooter

A heartless thief broke into the property of locally named Spack McCrackin, in Cradley Heath, West Midlands, and 'fled' on the £2,000 machine. Det Con Stirling Moss said: "This is a very upsetting case as one person's thoughtless crime as left the...
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Funny story: 50,000 dope dealers 'including drone pot delivery service' following Obama's @POTus tweets

50,000 dope dealers 'including drone pot delivery service' following Obama's @POTus tweets

Washington DC - East Coast pot entrepreneurs Bong-U-Like were one of the first to retweet Barack Obama's inaugural message from the newly launched @POTus account. The drone pot delivery service operates a major concession in DC with the President...
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Funny story: GQ Poll Shows Women Find Karate Stance Most Sexy

GQ Poll Shows Women Find Karate Stance Most Sexy

Washington, DC - a recent study of 3000 women around the globe, found that nearly three quarters of them found men to be sexiest when standing in a thai-chi, karate stance, regardless of ethnicity. This peeked our sexual curiosity around the offic...
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Funny story: Climate changing denier deny deniers

Climate changing denier deny deniers

In a startling turn about "Slick" Jim Mason, CEO of Exxon announced that he has seen the light and is reversing his opinion on climate change. "I think," Mason said, "fossil fuels does cause global warmin' and climate change." Jim took off his cow...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga Rips Out Tony Bennett's Rotator Cuff

Lady Gaga Rips Out Tony Bennett's Rotator Cuff

New York, NY - Crooner Icon, Tony Bennett, had to undergo emergency rotator cuff surgery on his right shoulder this week, and reps for the 89-year-old singer are squarely blaming new sidekick, Lady Gaga, for the debilitating ailment. The two singers...
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Funny story: Hull Housewives Getting Jittery Over Tigers' Relegation Tussle

Hull Housewives Getting Jittery Over Tigers' Relegation Tussle

The end of yet another English Premier League season is upon us, and even though the title race has been decided, there are still relegation issues to be settled. In amongst these are Hull City, whose fans, although still believing in their team's ab...
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Funny story: Don't masturbate or your hand will get pregnant

Don't masturbate or your hand will get pregnant

Men who masturbate have been given a dire warning by a Muslim televangelist who claimed live on TV that they will find their hands PREGNANT in the afterlife. Mucahid Cihad Han made the bizarre statement in a question and answer session on a radica...
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Funny story: Plymouth beggar banned from discussing the weather

Plymouth beggar banned from discussing the weather

An aggressive beggar who is believed to have targeted disabled and elderly people has been banned from talking to strangers about the weather. Anthony Fox had even led his victims to discuss more technical weather-related subjects such as the leve...
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Funny story: Florida college promises No More Genital Probes

Florida college promises No More Genital Probes

Orlando, Florida - Some dirty old men at an Orlando college have been slapped with a multi-million dollar lawsuit for running a diagnostic sonography program on students' vaginas. Women studying at the Orlando Vulva Academy had been told their A-...
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Funny story: Clinton challenges Bernie Sanders to a duel

Clinton challenges Bernie Sanders to a duel

It is official. Rumored for weeks, leaked by Clinton's headquarters, it's the challenge we've all waited for: Clinton Vs Saunders. A good old fashioned duel. Parnell Crawford went on TV and at 8.00 PM announced that Clinton has thrown down the gau...
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Funny story: New Religion Unbelievable

New Religion Unbelievable

Discovered outside a small home in Brooklyn, New York, were 2 men and 1 woman watching their home burning to the ground. A reporter from the Brooklyn Tribune noticed these people were strange looking,and one looked emaciated and was n...
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Funny story: NSA Requests Americans Limit Length of All Calls And Text Messages

NSA Requests Americans Limit Length of All Calls And Text Messages

In a recent press release, NSA Director Michael S. Rogers requested that all Americans abide by the agency's proposed limits for all phone calls and text messages. The guidelines set forth by the NSA include, among other things, a maximum length o...
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Funny story: Apple to Unveil iPen

Apple to Unveil iPen

CUPERTINO, CA - Apple announced this afternoon that it will release the iPen in June. Tim Cook, Apple CEO, told The Spoof that the new iPen will be revolutionary. It will feature sustainable technology and a unique method of putting words onto pap...
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Funny story: Wile E. Coyote Names ACME And Road Runner In Personal Injury Lawsuit

Wile E. Coyote Names ACME And Road Runner In Personal Injury Lawsuit

BILLINGSGATE POST: Wile E. Coyote filed charges against ACME Corporation and the Road Runner in the Los Angeles District Court this morning. Represented by Attorney to the Stars, Gloria Pinchmouth, Coyote alleges that ACME Corporation and the Road...
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Funny story: Blatter For West Ham

Blatter For West Ham

Troubled Fifa President, Sepp Blatter, is to become West Ham's new manager next season, replacing Sam Allardyce. This astonishing news has rocked the West Ham faithful who fear the inspiration of Allardyce's 0-0 draws and losing in the last minut...
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Funny story: If men had periods

If men had periods

According to recent research, if men had periods they would brag about them on Facebook, Sports Commentators would incorporate menstrual impact on a Footballer's performance, and bookmakers would factor a player's menstrual cycle into their betting...
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Funny story: The secret campaign slogan that Obama is trying to gift Hillary Clinton

The secret campaign slogan that Obama is trying to gift Hillary Clinton

Obama now says that he was misquoted by the media during the last election campaign and that his words were taken out of context. Obama claims that what all of this shows is the harmful effect on journalism that the cuts and downsizing at large Ameri...
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Funny story: Italian Navy Tows Jay Z and Beyonce's Yacht To Port For Smuggling Refugees.

Italian Navy Tows Jay Z and Beyonce's Yacht To Port For Smuggling Refugees.

Italy (the toe part) - The Italian Navy towed a gleaming white mega-yacht into port, allegedly belonging to rap mogul Jay Z and Pop Star wife Beyonce, for allegedly trying to smuggle more than fifty refugees into Europe, authorities say. But, Jay...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Blocked On Facebook By His Own Mother

Ted Cruz Blocked On Facebook By His Own Mother

Texas Senator and presidential hopeful Ted Cruz (R), in an emotional interview with Fox News pundit Bill O'Reilly, revealed that his own mother recently blocked him on Facebook. This unprecedented act of maternal indifference comes at a very str...
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Funny story: Robber, Bill Reid, robbed bank with can of Coke

Robber, Bill Reid, robbed bank with can of Coke

A Ramsgate man robbed a bank two days before Christmas and escaped with a large amount of money. Bill Reid armed himself with a can of Coca Cola and held up a security guard delivering cash and Coke cans to a Nat West Bank in the town. But when...
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Funny story: Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down.

Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down.

Accumulating a huge mass of knowledge in its 17 years of existence, the Internet giant Google has officially made itself the greatest source of knowledge in the entire universe, surpassing even that of Douglas Adam's giant planet computer in Hitchhik...
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Funny story: Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

A feckless father has been banned from every single Greggs along an entire 13 mile stretch of coastland after going on a six year sausage roll addiction funded by state handouts. Jobless Mervin Gardener, 25, terrorised police, supermarket security...
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Funny story: Linwood Mcgill jailed for knife attack on friend Marmaduke Bunker because he "refused to share his Malteasers"

Linwood Mcgill jailed for knife attack on friend Marmaduke Bunker because he "refused to share his Malteasers"

A drug-crazed man from Folkestone who launched an "unprovoked, frenzied and violent" attack with a knife has today been jailed for 15 years. Linwood Mcgill, 28, stabbed friend Marmaduke Bunker four times in a flat in Cheriton Road in August last y...
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Funny story: Road reopens after Asda receipt is found on M2 near Sittingbourne

Road reopens after Asda receipt is found on M2 near Sittingbourne

A section of the M2 has reopened - more than eight hours after an Asda receipt was found near a slip road. Highways Agency experts say the receipt has now been removed from near the exit slip road at Junction 5 of the M2 coastbound carriageway for...
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Funny story: 2015 Election SHOCK result!

2015 Election SHOCK result!

I've just come back in my time machine from 8th with the election result: After a hung parliament Labour bashed out a deal with UKIP. With this new government UKIP will claim victory with Britain's independence from the European Union's 'tyranny'...
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Funny story: Electoral Commission Achieves Perfect Entropy

Electoral Commission Achieves Perfect Entropy

Entropy is the tendency of all thermodynamic processes to end in a steady state of perfect disorder wherein no useful work can be accomplished. All matter will eventually be evenly dispersed at a temperature of about 4 degrees above absolute zero, bu...
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Funny story: Bernie Sanders - "American Needs To Look A Lot More Like Socialist Scandinavia"

Bernie Sanders - "American Needs To Look A Lot More Like Socialist Scandinavia"

Washington DC - Speaking with This Week host George Stephanapoulos, Bernie Sanders proudly admitted to being a Democratic Socialist and said he wants America to be more like Scandinavia. "We need more fjords," he said. "We have all kinds of wi...
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Funny story: Lorry driver Richard Langford jailed for trying to import 50,000 chocolate bars through Dover

Lorry driver Richard Langford jailed for trying to import 50,000 chocolate bars through Dover

A lorry driver has been jailed for smuggling chocolate bars through the Port of Dover. Richard Langford, 31, was caught with a staggering 5,000 kilos of Dairy Milk, 1,000 kilos of Galaxy and 3,000 U.S. Hershey's chocolate bars when he was stopped...
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Funny story: Tony Blair resigns as Middle East peace envoy

Tony Blair resigns as Middle East peace envoy

The former Labour prime minister was appointed as one of a Quartet of powerbrokers to represent the United States of America, United Nations, Russia and the European Union in the Middle East after leaving Downing Street in 2007. Amid a constant ho...
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Funny story: Things that you knew you didn't want to know about Saudi Arabia.

Things that you knew you didn't want to know about Saudi Arabia.

In Saudi Arabia, the society is segregated so that boys and girls never meet each other. Over there, any guy who's ever had a girlfriend in his life is called a womanizer. Over there, when a guy kisses a girl, they call it rough sex. There is a public service announcement running on TV over there telling people not to kiss each other and that if they absolutely must, that the woman should be...
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Funny story: Costs-Benefits Luncheon on Capitol Hill... Obama.

Costs-Benefits Luncheon on Capitol Hill... Obama.

Yesterday, President Obama looking resplendent in tux and bow delivered the following address to a select group of financial experts, bankers and Congressmen at a luncheon held at Capitol Hill Washington. Here is part of his address. "Seven thous...
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Funny story: ISIS Claims to Have Dozens of Potty-Trained Terrorist In US

ISIS Claims to Have Dozens of Potty-Trained Terrorist In US

ISIS has announced that there are dozens of potty trained terrorists living secret lives within the United States, waiting for word from above to strike terror into the hearts of diaper company executives everywhere. The revelation comes on the h...
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Funny story: Criminal sues police over unflattering photo-fit

Criminal sues police over unflattering photo-fit

Career criminal, Ashley Frat, 27, has reportedly been awarded a considerable out of court settlement following his recent legal action against the Metropolitan Police. Mr Frat was convicted earlier this month for aggravated burglary following a ra...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Goes In Search Of "The Little People"

Hillary Clinton Goes In Search Of "The Little People"

Hillary Clinton set out on foot across Iowa yesterday from her Des Moine Hotel. Her goal: Find the little people everyone always talks about. "Well you don't know how people are until you actually meet them and I'm not going to step on those littl...
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Funny story: Magu, The Jumping YouTube Cat, Accidentally Returned To Box Store

Magu, The Jumping YouTube Cat, Accidentally Returned To Box Store

Tokyo, Japan - Well, it finally happened - Magu, the lovable fluffy cat that loves to jump into any box he can find for his Youtube audience, was finally returned to a box store by accident on Friday. "I had just bought a new vacuum cleaner," expl...
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Funny story: Judge Rules That Wile E. Coyote Can Use Predator Drone To Attack Road Runner

Judge Rules That Wile E. Coyote Can Use Predator Drone To Attack Road Runner

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a preliminary hearing, Judge Amos Whitaker ruled that Wile E. Coyote be allowed to use an unmanned aerial vehicle (UAV) to attack Road Runner. Despite arguments by Road Runner that this would give Coyote an unfair advantage an...
View 'Judge Rules That Wile E. Coyote Can Use Predator Drone To Attack Road Runner'
Funny story: Tea Party All-Stars to Negotiate Merger with ISIS Following 'Beheading Obama' Pic Posted

Tea Party All-Stars to Negotiate Merger with ISIS Following 'Beheading Obama' Pic Posted

Twenty minutes of Photoshop has caused the two greatest terrorist organizations in the world to come together to destroy democracy. Thanks, Adobe. On Saturday, a supporter of ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) released a graphic photo of Presi...
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Funny story: Shopkeeper's pocket tissues stolen by thieves

Shopkeeper's pocket tissues stolen by thieves

A shopkeeper who fell victim to a distraction theft says he has been overwhelmed with well wishes. A man entered the Bookshop in East Grinstead, West Sussex and asked for a cup of tea, before reaching into the shopkeeper's pockets and stealing his...
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Funny story: Brad Pitt casts Leonardo DiCaprio as attorney Randy Mastro in blockbuster Chevron movie

Brad Pitt casts Leonardo DiCaprio as attorney Randy Mastro in blockbuster Chevron movie

Hollywood, California - "Except that Randy's way better looking," Mrs Mastro tweeted this evening as the news of Brad Pitt hiring Leonardo DiCaprio sent the price of crude rocketing another $57 a barrel. The Wolf of Wall Street actor will star as...
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Funny story: Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day

Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day

IRVINE, CA--The new Ayn Rand Zoo, located in the same city that houses the Ayn Rand Institute and funded solely by private donors like Sheldon Adelson and Koch Industries, opened--and closed--last Wednesday in what Objectivist philosopher Leonard Pe...
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Funny story: Mexican Demon 'Charlie' not a Twitter user

Mexican Demon 'Charlie' not a Twitter user

People around the world are trying to summon a "Mexican demon" named Charlie, using pencils and a bit of paper. This follows a Twitter explosion, #CharlieCharlieChallenge, where readers are encouraged to summon the demon to answer their questions,...
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Funny story: 10 Signs Your Boyfriend is Cheating

10 Signs Your Boyfriend is Cheating

1. You hear him laughing with his mates and when you turn around they are all staring at you with a smile on their faces. 2. He no longer looks into your eyes or asks your advice about anything. 3. When you try to kiss him he sniggers; and when you ask him what he is sniggering at he says: "Oh, something just popped into my head." 4. He no longer wants to dine at your "favourite" restaurant. 5...
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Funny story: UK Eurovision entry bids to become first song to score minus points

UK Eurovision entry bids to become first song to score minus points

With only a day to go until the final, UK entry Evacuated Bowel say that they want to go one better than the last few dismal efforts and actually register a negative score. Their song, 'I Want Your Ear Wax All Over Me', is an up-beat reggae song that...
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Funny story: How Unemployment Really Works

How Unemployment Really Works

Derek in Accounts Payable was an excitable type, but only to a certain extent. When he rounded the corner to speak to Jason, his boss, colleague and friend he was more excited than normal. The fact that he kept his voice low to avoid others hearing was indicative that it was also something serious. "I've got it Jason! It just came out of the blue and punched me in the eye!" "What is i...
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Funny story: Bruce Jenner's Transformation Nearly Complete

Bruce Jenner's Transformation Nearly Complete

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Bruce Jenner shocked the world with his announcement that "he" plans on having his genitals replaced, so "he" can be the woman of his dreams. Once the sex-change surgery is completed, Mr. Jenner plans to complete his transformation...
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Funny story: What the Hell are the Royals Doing in New Zealand of All Places?

What the Hell are the Royals Doing in New Zealand of All Places?

In order to answer this simple question our magazine "Conned Weekly" contacted Lord Hiram Abiff Cook of the British Foreign Office London who candidly answered unaware that we had recorded the conversation. Here is what he said: Well, old sport...
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Funny story: Pensioner kept 26 toys in 'hazardous' conditions at his home where they were deprived of cuddles

Pensioner kept 26 toys in 'hazardous' conditions at his home where they were deprived of cuddles

* Inspectors found toys in appalling conditions at the house in Liverpool * The toys had been kept in squalid conditions by Raymond Coll, 66 * Mr Coll initially denied he was the owner and claimed he was a burglar * Officials also found a la...
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Funny story: After years of indecision, Yellen decides to do nothing

After years of indecision, Yellen decides to do nothing

Chairperson Yellen of the Federal Reserve has again played it close to the vest. Fearful of raising rates, she said, "Because it could cause an unintended glitch in the economy, I'm passing at this time." "Are you," reporter Wilma Terman asked,...
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Funny story: Blatter wins again

Blatter wins again

Sepp Blatter, Non-Stick-Coated CEO of FIFA, has been re-elected despite not winning a two-thirds majority against Jordan's Prince Ali bin al-Hussein, who withdrew after the first round of voting. Furious that allegations of corruption were also la...
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Funny story: Fasc' Factor: Mike Read's BNP/Nick Minaj Comeback Medley

Fasc' Factor: Mike Read's BNP/Nick Minaj Comeback Medley

The thing about the greatest performing artists of all is that they never, EVER gave up. Regardless of practical setbacks, ridicule and open hostility, figures of the calibre of Ravi Shankar, Beethoven, Mick Jagger, the singers of "Moves like Jagger," Rihanna… Not to mention respected (sorry, respectable… no I mean, petty-bourgeois) protest guitarist Tony Blair… These have all consistentl...
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Funny story: George Stephanopoulos Admits To Having Paid 75 Large For Collection Of Hillary Pantsuits

George Stephanopoulos Admits To Having Paid 75 Large For Collection Of Hillary Pantsuits

BILLINGSGATE POST: Beleaguered George Stephanopoulos of ABC News admitted to MSNBC's "Out-of-the closet-and-in-your-face" Rachel Maddow, that he did, indeed, have a collection of Hillary Clinton pantsuits that stretch back at least 20 years. Desc...
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Funny story: Apple Watch Time Lords launch Emergency Medical Hologram app

Apple Watch Time Lords launch Emergency Medical Hologram app

Cupertino, Ca - A holographic doctor first seen on Star Trek Voyager is channeling great gastro-intestinal advice at the flick of a wrist. It's the first time that engineers have managed to craft the hologram program into an Apple Watch app turnin...
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Funny story: ISIS claims responsibility for your spilled milk this morning

ISIS claims responsibility for your spilled milk this morning

Militant Islamist group, ISIS released a statement this morning claiming responsibility for acts that will certainly interrupt your daily routine. "We will strike you when you least expect it, when you are most vulnerable, when you are still rubbi...
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Funny story: United Arab Emirates national flag on 100ft flagpole discovered on NASA's Mars pics

United Arab Emirates national flag on 100ft flagpole discovered on NASA's Mars pics

Arabian Gulf - There were huge grins all round at the Al Mushrif Presidential Palace in Abu Dhabi this weekend as NASA released images of the red planet's Aeolis Mons district showing the UAE national flag flying atop a 100ft pole. "Of course thi...
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Funny story: President Enlists Superfriends to Fight ISIL

President Enlists Superfriends to Fight ISIL

President Obama stated today that he would engage the help of "all the Superfriends" to fight the growing threat from ISIL in the next few years. "Yes, we'll have Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonderwoman, or Wonderperson appreciated regardless...
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Funny story: Dudley Council to clamp down on irresponsible dog-owners

Dudley Council to clamp down on irresponsible dog-owners

Residents of Dudley, in the West Midlands, have become so enraged with irresponsible dog owners who allow their pets to foul in public places and then fail to clear up their mess, that they have demanded that the local council take drastic action.
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Funny story: Jeb Bush Stakes Out Middle Ground On Immigration - Favors Driver's Licenses For Immigrants With Limitiations

Jeb Bush Stakes Out Middle Ground On Immigration - Favors Driver's Licenses For Immigrants With Limitiations

Des Moines, Iowa - In response to Hillary Clinton's recent move left on immigration, seen in her promise to take executive action if elected President to grant citizenship to illegals currently in the nation, Jeb Bush yesterday staked out a position...
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Funny story: Animal thief hit 21 pet stores across West Midlands in seven months

Animal thief hit 21 pet stores across West Midlands in seven months

A brazen thief has admitted taking various pets from 21 pet stores across the Black Country and Staffordshire without paying for them during a seven-month stealing spree. Ecbert Sitz drove across various towns in the West Midlands with the intent...
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Funny story: Political 'Jeopardy!' for Rising Prominent Politicians

Political 'Jeopardy!' for Rising Prominent Politicians

Jeopardy! has been around since 1984, with 25 million regular viewers who try their best to shout out their own responses to the clues before the contestants. We marvel at Jeopardy! superstars like Ken Jennings, who held the champion spot for an incr...
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Funny story: Filthy rich Texas oil heir Corey Knowlton kills endangered black rhino in an effort to save rhinos

Filthy rich Texas oil heir Corey Knowlton kills endangered black rhino in an effort to save rhinos

What a man! What a killer! Entitled rich-guy Corey Knowlton spent $350,000 on an auction this winter - in early January - so he could legally and safely kill one of the world's most aggressive and dangerous wild animals. And on Monday, he pulled this...
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Funny story: California Teen joins with Native Americans Nations to Start Non-Profit: Dance the Drought Away

California Teen joins with Native Americans Nations to Start Non-Profit: Dance the Drought Away

At first blush Marlaina Lloyd looks like your average 8th grader from Southern California. However, this 13 year old Californian decided enough wasn't being done in the face of the serious water shortage and drought in California. The State Water...
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Funny story: The United States threatens to 'drop a nuclear bomb' on Pyangyang after claiming it was behind The Interview

The United States threatens to 'drop a nuclear bomb' on Pyangyang after claiming it was behind The Interview

The White House has issued a threat to attack Pyongyang after claiming to have proof that the government was behind the controversial Korean movie Inteobyu (English: The Interview.) The yet-to-be-released film, starring Lee Rae-song and Hong Yong-...
View 'The United States threatens to 'drop a nuclear bomb' on Pyangyang after claiming it was behind The Interview'
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