There were 224 spoof news stories published in September 2014. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Ice Bucket Shortage Plagues U.S.

Ice Bucket Shortage Plagues U.S.

Okay, the ice bucket challenge HAS been a boon to ALS research. But how about the poor folks who are just in need of ice buckets? Y'know, like to carry ice. They're out of luck! There's not an ice bucket to be had. They're all being used for The...
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Funny story: Irate Raccoon Booted out of Bronx Beauty Supply Store

Irate Raccoon Booted out of Bronx Beauty Supply Store

"No way to treat a lady," the startled raccoon complained. She continued, "I was just stocking up on some manicure and pedicure supplies and minding my own business when some dames, clutching boxes of beauty supplies, started screeching at the si...
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Funny story: Bedbug Riding The NYC Subway Interviewed

Bedbug Riding The NYC Subway Interviewed

Learning that bedbugs have been found in the subway, spoof reporter Gail Farrelly recently set out to get the skinny by interviewing a bedbug living in a Manhattan subway car. What follows are a few of Farrelly's questions and the bedbug's replies. WHY LIVE IN THE SUBWAY? it's better than being homeless. And the convenience to citywide transportation is a plus. FAVORITE SONG? Duke Elling...
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Funny story: Photos Of Celebrities Taking Leaks On Internet Shocker

Photos Of Celebrities Taking Leaks On Internet Shocker

Around 20 celebrities, including actress Jennifer Lawrence, had images of themselves taking leaks posted on image posting website 4Chan. Mary Elizabeth Winstead (whoever she is) said the images of her were old - and were snapped when she was taki...
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Funny story: England Set To Vote Scotland Out of The Union - USA May Want To Consider Voting Out Georgia

England Set To Vote Scotland Out of The Union - USA May Want To Consider Voting Out Georgia

The main UK party leaders are urging the English to campaign to have Scotland removed from the Union and to force Scottish people to stop calling themselves British. Prime Minister David Cameron and Labour leader Ed Miliband will abandon their wee...
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Funny story: Shia LaBeouf Apologies For Being A Cunt

Shia LaBeouf Apologies For Being A Cunt

American actor and director Shia LaBeouf announced today that he would like to apologize to the whole world for being a total and utter cunt, and acknowledges that he is in fact a complete tool and deserves "a dam good hiding". LeBeouf, who is 28,...
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Funny story: Japanese Use Stem Cells to Recreate Godzilla, Threaten New Pearl Harbor With Nuclear Fire Breathing Dinosaurs

Japanese Use Stem Cells to Recreate Godzilla, Threaten New Pearl Harbor With Nuclear Fire Breathing Dinosaurs

Tokyo, Japan Japan showed its true colors today as the island republic announced that they have created a nuclear fire breathing gigantic dinosaur lizard named Godzilla and that they might not be able to stop him once he starts heading toward the sun...
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Funny story: Hadrian's Wall To be Re-Built In Attempt To Keep Starving Scottish Out Of England If They Go It Alone

Hadrian's Wall To be Re-Built In Attempt To Keep Starving Scottish Out Of England If They Go It Alone

The British government has begun drawing up secret plans to rebuild Hadrian's Wall - the wall built by the Roman's to keep marauding Scot's out of England - to prevent starving undocumented Scottish people from entering England. If Scotland's vote...
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Funny story: After So Many 'Petite Little Women' have been Assaulted by Players, NFL Plans to Recruit from the U.S.'s State Prison Systems

After So Many 'Petite Little Women' have been Assaulted by Players, NFL Plans to Recruit from the U.S.'s State Prison Systems

NFL spokesman Roger Allovem says he's tired of the mamby-pamby wannabe tough guiys whose claim to fame is beating up little women who weigh less than 120 pounds. From now on, Allovem says the NFL won't be looking to the NCAA Division I teams as...
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Funny story: Apple launches iPhone 6 with holographic Caller ID Image

Apple launches iPhone 6 with holographic Caller ID Image

Cupertino, California - A full-screen sized hologram of Caller Identity Images will be popping up each time Apple's swish new all-bells-and-whistles iPhone 6 gets an incoming or makes an outgoing call. And a new voice-over feature will see hologr...
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Funny story: Man's tight pants bend new iPhone6 into beautiful swan

Man's tight pants bend new iPhone6 into beautiful swan

Many early adopters of Apple's new iPhone6 are finding the lightweight aluminum frame combined with a tight pants pocket can actually cause the phone to bend. Users are noticing bending near more vulnerable spots, such as near the side-buttons.
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Funny story: Church of Scamatology Creates New Scientific Method

Church of Scamatology Creates New Scientific Method

Clearly Criminal, FL The Church of Scamatology, in an interview about some of the scientific principles of Scamatology, The ecclesiastical head of the church, Little Davy Makemerich, outlined the new scientific methods that Scamatology has created an...
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Funny story: Church of Scamatology Says It Can Prove Clams Were the First Life

Church of Scamatology Says It Can Prove Clams Were the First Life

Clearwater, FL The Church of Scamatology announced today that they had solid scientific proof that the first life on Earth were clams. Most scientists, and consequently science books, have apparently missed this major fact. The Scamatologist's sci...
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Funny story: Edinburgh Zoo's panda on medical marijuana program after 'losing' cub

Edinburgh Zoo's panda on medical marijuana program after 'losing' cub

Edinburgh, Scotland - Feckless time-wasting panda Tian Tian has been accused of faking yet another pregnancy despite a certificate of fecundity from keepers at Shanghai Zoo from which she is on loan. Scottish veterinarians had become convinced the...
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Funny story: Take The NYC:IQ Quiz... How New Yorkish Are You?

Take The NYC:IQ Quiz... How New Yorkish Are You?

New Yorkers are made, not born. So no matter where you come from, you can make the greatest city in the world your hometown. Take this quiz to find out how close you are. And remember to pick up after your pooch. It's the law! 1. What was the real reason Michael Bloomberg banned Big Gulp drinks? A. His fear of drowning. B. Can't "hold it in" as well as he used to. C. Confused corn syru...
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Funny story: "Most Remarkable and Kindest Person You Would Wish To Meet" Dies Again

"Most Remarkable and Kindest Person You Would Wish To Meet" Dies Again

For the 700th time this year "The Most Remarkable and Kindest Person You Would Wish To Meet" has sadly died. This comes after the recent 475th death of "He was a great Man" and comes hot on the heals of the tragic demise of "He was the best son ev...
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Funny story: Smoking Not Bad For You Says Research

Smoking Not Bad For You Says Research

New research is suggesting that smoking is not dangerous, does not cause strokes, heart disease or lung cancer and, in some cases, may improve quality of life and increase lifespan. The study and research, carried out by a conglomeration of scient...
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Funny story: Seat Recline Fight Diverts Another Flight - Forces One Airline Into Allowing Only Amputees to Fly

Seat Recline Fight Diverts Another Flight - Forces One Airline Into Allowing Only Amputees to Fly

After yet another US flight was diverted; due to an argument about reclining seats and legroom one airline says enough is enough and has taken the unusual step of ONLY transporting passengers without legs. In the third serious airline legroom inci...
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Funny story: Florida Man Leaves Big Tip Then Tells Everyone About It So They Think He Is Awesome

Florida Man Leaves Big Tip Then Tells Everyone About It So They Think He Is Awesome

Duncan Whitehead of Fort Lauderdale, Florida headed to a new restaurant in town to celebrate his birthday. What happened next caught the attention of the world. Despite a dining experience that "sucked," the generous man left a $2 tip for th...
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Funny story: Pretentious Scientists Deny Existence of Tangle Fairy: Roadies Outraged, Archbishop Conciliatory

Pretentious Scientists Deny Existence of Tangle Fairy: Roadies Outraged, Archbishop Conciliatory

Distraught and tear-stricken roadies have never doubted the existence of the wicked imp that tangles perfectly-laid guitar and sound cables when rock bands are touring. It's always a disappointment to find your immaculately-placed equipment all messe...
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Funny story: NFL Mandates Owners To Develop More Accurate Team Names

NFL Mandates Owners To Develop More Accurate Team Names

With the Washington Redskins under a great deal of pressure to change their team name, the National Football League has decided to address the issue by requiring owners to update their clubs' names to reflect the current realities of their communitie...
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Funny story: Conservatives Join Hunt for iCloud Hacker After Nude Pics of Nancy Pelosi, Others Surface

Conservatives Join Hunt for iCloud Hacker After Nude Pics of Nancy Pelosi, Others Surface

Los Angeles, CA - The now infamous and anonymous iCloud hacker, responsible for releasing nude and semi-nude photos of celebrities, now has a new enemy to add to his list - Conservatives. The initial release of risqué pics featuring attractive celebr...
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Funny story: War On Terror: ISIS Prisoners To Be Forced To Watch Gay Men Dancing

War On Terror: ISIS Prisoners To Be Forced To Watch Gay Men Dancing

The US has announced drastic punishments for any member of ISIS caught on the battlefield or returning to America from Syria and Iraq - and the announcement has left many shocked with many would be terrorists reconsidering whether or not joining the...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Dominican Republic Ban Sidetracks Golfing NATO Leaders

Miley Cyrus Dominican Republic Ban Sidetracks Golfing NATO Leaders

The Miley Cyrus ban by the Dominican Republic is sidetracking the conversation at the NATO summit currently being held at the Celtic Manor Golf Resort in Newport, Wales, the home of the 2010 Ryder Cup won by Europe 14 ½ to 13 ½ when Hunter Mahan yip...
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Funny story: Navratilova upstages Djokovic and Nishikori at U. S. Open

Navratilova upstages Djokovic and Nishikori at U. S. Open

ONLY IN AMERICA - Martina Navratilova, known as much for her lesbianism as for her tennis, upstaged both Novak Djokovic and Keri Nishikori at the U. S. Open when Navratilova proposed to her long-time girlfriend, Julia Lemigova." The magic mome...
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Funny story: New York Mayor Makes Political History by Offering Universal Pre-Kindergarten to Children and Retired Carriage Horses

New York Mayor Makes Political History by Offering Universal Pre-Kindergarten to Children and Retired Carriage Horses

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio recently made political history by announcing that free universal pre-kindergarten will now be available to all four-year-old children - and to retired New York City carriage horses of any age. Citing the cruel a...
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Funny story: Once Again Grief, Sadness And Anger - Then Thousands Of Comments On Social Media As Joan Rivers Dies - Meanwhile Ebola & Terror Grips Planet

Once Again Grief, Sadness And Anger - Then Thousands Of Comments On Social Media As Joan Rivers Dies - Meanwhile Ebola & Terror Grips Planet

Social media was a buzz with outpourings of immense grief, a sense of universal loss and then feelings of anger; after it was announced comedienne Joan Rivers, had died. She was 81. I will say that again...she was fucking 81. "Devastated" t...
View 'Once Again Grief, Sadness And Anger - Then Thousands Of Comments On Social Media As Joan Rivers Dies - Meanwhile Ebola & Terror Grips Planet'
Funny story: Ray Rice Scores Endorsement Deals For Dating Site, Workout Video

Ray Rice Scores Endorsement Deals For Dating Site, Workout Video

Baltimore, MD - Exiled NFL running back Ray Rice has landed a couple of endorsement deals in the wake of his humiliating firing from the Baltimore Ravens after video surfaced of him beating his future wife in an elevator months ago. Rice inked a d...
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Funny story: Queen Demands Alex Salmond's Head On A Pike

Queen Demands Alex Salmond's Head On A Pike

Despite carrying letters of safe conduct and passage to England, former Scottish first minister Alex Salmond was handed over to English soldiers at Robroyston near Glasgow late Friday night and has been transported to London on the orders of Queen El...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus Form Group To Allow Everyone to Be Naked All the Time

Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus Form Group To Allow Everyone to Be Naked All the Time

Hollywood, CA Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus, two celebrities known for being naked in public, have come out for total nudity, all the time. "Wearing clothes is just yucky" said Cyrus, the former Hannah Montana, who has been trying to ditch the squ...
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Funny story: Despite Setting Off Store Alarm Man Allowed To Leave Store Unchallenged

Despite Setting Off Store Alarm Man Allowed To Leave Store Unchallenged

Despite setting off his local grocery store's store alarm Wednesday, Fort Lauderdale shopper Duncan Whitehead was allowed to exit the store unmolested by the store's security staff who merely glanced at the exiting man before returning to doing nothi...
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Funny story: DC footballers change their logo to keep their name

DC footballers change their logo to keep their name

Washington DC -- Under fire for long harboring a racially inappropriate team identity, this city's NFL franchise has changed its logo from the silhouette of a Native American warrior to the image of a potato. "This should make everybody happy," a...
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Funny story: London vicar turns church into post office, quotes Euro/Sterling/US Dollar exchange rates for 30 Pieces Of Silver

London vicar turns church into post office, quotes Euro/Sterling/US Dollar exchange rates for 30 Pieces Of Silver

London, UK - A North London vicar who has clearly never read the part of the New Testament about Jesus throwing the money changers out of the temple has opened up his own little bit of heaven in London NW6. The Rev Andrew Cain, vicar of St James'...
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Funny story: Ravens new Ray Rice and wife promotion looks like a hit

Ravens new Ray Rice and wife promotion looks like a hit

To honor Ray Rice, the Baltimore Ravens will be giving away bobble head dolls of the star running back's wife. The dolls come with extra springs to heighten the hitting experience. Mark Conn, Ravens promotions director, feels the freebies will giv...
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Funny story: Head Of ISIS Accidentally Beheaded

Head Of ISIS Accidentally Beheaded

Ibrahim ibn Awwad ibn Ibrahim ibn Ali ibn Muhammad al-Badri al-Samarrai, more commonly known by his nom de guerre Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, or BIll, is the Caliph of the self-proclaimed Islamic State-previously the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (...
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Funny story: Teen Nudity & Pornography - A Turn Off For Fashion Labels

Teen Nudity & Pornography - A Turn Off For Fashion Labels

Sex sells, conventional wisdom asserts, but, according to sales of fashion giant Aberzombie & Bitch, not so much. At least, not lately. Teens, it seems, have largely abandoned the clothing company known more for its nudity and pornographic...
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Funny story: Budget-Strapped Red States to Use Gladiatorial Fights to Raise Much-needed Funds for Infrastructure Repairs

Budget-Strapped Red States to Use Gladiatorial Fights to Raise Much-needed Funds for Infrastructure Repairs

RED STATE AMERICA--With so many states still strapped for funds after their Republican-led legislatures cut their budgets to the bone, and with gambling casinos and racinos no longer producing enough to make up for the deficit, some Red States are tr...
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Funny story: Ras Al Khaimah Horticultural Society 'twinned with Colorado Springs Pot Club' says local gardening enthusiast

Ras Al Khaimah Horticultural Society 'twinned with Colorado Springs Pot Club' says local gardening enthusiast

Ras Al Khaimah, UAE - A stunning floral bouquet that scooped the Ras Al Khaimah Horticultural Society Autumn Show first prize has been impounded by local police after testing positive for 100% Cannabis Sativa blossom. Distraught competitor Mrs Fa...
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Funny story: We Knew the World is Flat, But Why is it Wobbling? Ignorance in Science Committee Congressmen Accept Jon Stewart's Ice Bucket Challenge

We Knew the World is Flat, But Why is it Wobbling? Ignorance in Science Committee Congressmen Accept Jon Stewart's Ice Bucket Challenge

Daily Show host Jon Stewart put the heat on US government climate change naysayer, Congressman Steve Stockman, in his latest ice bucket challenge. Stockman was particularly offended by Stewart's remarks that might have "put into question my wide expe...
View 'We Knew the World is Flat, But Why is it Wobbling? Ignorance in Science Committee Congressmen Accept Jon Stewart's Ice Bucket Challenge'
Funny story: The Long-Awaited Arrival of the iPill

The Long-Awaited Arrival of the iPill

Cupofteanow, California (STT News) - With the recent and much-heralded arrival of the iPhone 6, there has also been a lot of speculation as to what lies ahead and, in that future, how far we will be melded into the digital frontier. Apple spokesm...
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Funny story: Oakland Raiderettes worth more than their weight in gold

Oakland Raiderettes worth more than their weight in gold

LAND o' OAKS, CA - Known for their sleazy uniforms, the Oakland Raiderettes, who claim to be cheerleaders, have something to cheer about: they were awarded $125 million dollars in a lawsuit, agreeing to "settle" for representing the Raiders rathe...
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Funny story: Goodell: NFL Mistakenly Viewed Erin Andrews Peephole Video in Ray Rice Case

Goodell: NFL Mistakenly Viewed Erin Andrews Peephole Video in Ray Rice Case

MANHATTAN -- Commissioner Roger Goodell has acknowledged that the NFL mistakenly viewed the Erin Andrews peephole video when originally trying to determine appropriate discipline in the domestic violence case against former Baltimore Ravens running b...
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Funny story: Nude celebs' fans "on Cloud 9"

Nude celebs' fans "on Cloud 9"

ALMOST HEAVEN -- Has-been celebrities, in an effort to generate publicity and reignite their flagging careers, claim to be "outraged" over nude photo spreads of themselves--and, in one case, at least--a sex tape that were allegedly stolen from a "hac...
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Funny story: Congressional Inquiry Finds That Spending More Than You Make Can Contribute To Financial Difficulties

Congressional Inquiry Finds That Spending More Than You Make Can Contribute To Financial Difficulties

Washington D.C. - A recently concluded inquiry by a joint Senate and House committee has concluded that spending more money than you make could be a contributing factor to having financial difficulties. The inquiry lasted two years and cost an es...
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Funny story: Scottish Independence - MacDisney Fairytale Park Bid For Scotland

Scottish Independence - MacDisney Fairytale Park Bid For Scotland

The offer of $40Bn to turn Scotland into a MacDisney Theme Park with Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip as "fairy tale" Queen and King will not be accepted, a Scottish Nationalist claimed while addressing a meeting of the "What to do with Scotland" pa...
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Funny story: A New Mobile App for the Wives of Husbands with Wandering Eyes

A New Mobile App for the Wives of Husbands with Wandering Eyes

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." KJV Matthew 5:28 Jesus knew it. Wives know it too. A man whose eyes are constantly wandering will often wander, s...
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Funny story: Roger Goodell Steps Down; Interim Commissioner Ray Lewis to Let Ray Rice Play on Sunday

Roger Goodell Steps Down; Interim Commissioner Ray Lewis to Let Ray Rice Play on Sunday

In a move that surprised no one but the world's biggest misogynists, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell resigned from his duties on Thursday afternoon. In a hastily called press conference, a tearful Goodell said he no longer felt he could make the b...
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Funny story: New Year Celebrations To Last Until The Following Christmas Every Year After Scottish Independence

New Year Celebrations To Last Until The Following Christmas Every Year After Scottish Independence

New Year celebrations in Scotland will last at least into March and probably through to Christmas each year in a stealthy plan by Scottish Nationalists to boost Whiskey Sales and T.V. advertising revenue. New Year, one of Scotland's most popular...
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Funny story: Scientists are setting world clocks according to nip slips and celebrity skin

Scientists are setting world clocks according to nip slips and celebrity skin

The long standing method of using the Atomic clocks to set the world time pieces has been replaced by Kardashian sitings and other wardrobe malfunctions. Scientists at T.I.M.E, The Institue for Meaningless Entertainment, have concluded that the ti...
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Funny story: Sean Hannidy Feuds With Jon Stuart

Sean Hannidy Feuds With Jon Stuart

Sean Hannidy, Fox News' TV host, continued his feud with Comedy Central's Jon Stuart over who is the best comedian. Hannidy said his support of renegade, anarchist rancher Cliven Bundy "couldn't be funnier." "It's hilarious that he and his gu...
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Funny story: Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

In an unprecedented attack on the state of the Scottish coastline, Prince Philip told a meeting of Cartographers that Prince Charles had drawn up plans to Polyfill the crevices and uneven edges around the Scottish Coastline so that it would look neat...
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Funny story: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's '$400m superyacht' purchase is a spoof says shipyard

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's '$400m superyacht' purchase is a spoof says shipyard

New York - "These guys just don't have that kind of spare cash lying around," a spokesperson for SuperMegaYachts.com said today, "the whole dumb story is a pile of crap." The rebuttal comes after an Irish Sunday newspaper claimed Brad and Ange had...
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Funny story: Obama Is Unintelligent

Obama Is Unintelligent

WASHINGTON - President Obama has acknowledged that the NSA and The CIA had underestimated the rise of the Islamic State militant group, ISIS, which has seized control of a broad swath of territory in the Middle East. He said he "follows their advice...
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Funny story: I Just Bought My Own Drone, And Man Is She a Pretty One!

I Just Bought My Own Drone, And Man Is She a Pretty One!

JERSEY CITY, N.J. - I went online and ordered my very own drone in late July. I purchased the thing from Military Drone Leftovers from the Desert Wars Dot Com. Man, it sure is a pretty thing, too. I guess it originally was a flat black, but b...
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Funny story: Oorah!!! DC NFL team to possibly become the few and the proud with rebranding

Oorah!!! DC NFL team to possibly become the few and the proud with rebranding

WASHINGTON, DC-In response to continuing criticism about his team's name, National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell and Daniel Snyder, the owner of the Washington Redskins, are considering changing the name of Snyder's team to something mor...
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Funny story: Fast-food customers safe "for now"

Fast-food customers safe "for now"

DEE TROIT, MI - Disgruntled fast-food workers have united, in Dee Troit, of all places, walking off their jobs in support of unionization, after union reps, armed with baseball bats and megaphones, promised them $15 and benefits for cleaning restroom...
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Funny story: Obama Has Rendezvous With Stones

Obama Has Rendezvous With Stones

Wiltshire, UK - Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Ronnie Wood and Charlie Watts were left high and dry at a famous London bar today as Barack Obama dropped by another ancient Brit monument to visit some very important stones. The President took time o...
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Funny story: Obese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment

Obese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment

A doctor in Carlisle is being taken to court by one of his patients. During a meeting with a Dr Yimenez about his upcoming stomach-stapling surgery, the patient observed that the doctor had made one or two inappropriate comments about his weight.
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Funny story: New Fad - Young People Get iPhones Installed In Their Head Replacing Brains

New Fad - Young People Get iPhones Installed In Their Head Replacing Brains

In the latest cool trend to hit the streets masses of young people are getting their I-phones installed in their heads where their brains used to be. The popularity and 24 hour a day usage of Apples extremely popular gadget has brought about this new...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney's Re-animated Corpse to Run for President in 2048

Mitt Romney's Re-animated Corpse to Run for President in 2048

WASHINGTON, D. C. (DP)-Mitt Romney, who died in 2028 at the age of eighty-one while running for president for the seventh time, is poised to give it another shot, advisors to the cryogenically frozen candidate reported today. Close advisors to...
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Funny story: All Married Men Have Less Sex Than All Married Men

All Married Men Have Less Sex Than All Married Men

Blue Balls, WI - A group of researchers comprised of the best minds in modern physics have directly proved part of Albert Einstein's Theory of Relativity as it applies to human existence. The experiment and associated findings are focused on married...
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Funny story: Gay student won't stand in straight line

Gay student won't stand in straight line

When Dylan White's 4th grade teacher, Cheryl Glands, asked him to stand in a straight line before gym class last week, he answered her: "No." White, who is openly homosexual, said he refuses to be, "Coerced into societally-constructed sexual comp...
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Funny story: 30 Foot Long Thousand Oaks Cobra 'Is Radioactive'

30 Foot Long Thousand Oaks Cobra 'Is Radioactive'

Thousand Oaks, LA - A 30 foot-long white cobra found menacing the streets of a LA suburb has tested radioactive according to reports. Tonight the deadly male serpent was being detoxed at a secret government laboratory amid fears a bulge in its abd...
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Funny story: Kanye West suing CDC for use of "Ebola"

Kanye West suing CDC for use of "Ebola"

West Africa- Controversial Kanye West is filing a lawsuit against the CDC for their use of the word "Ebola." He is suing because he was led to believe that the news about Ebola spreading throughout Africa was actually referencing his first single whi...
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Funny story: 11-Year-Old Attacks Obama In Schoolroom

11-Year-Old Attacks Obama In Schoolroom

President Obama, taking a break from his war against ISIS, visited Oakmont Charter School in VA. to show his support for innovative education. The school enrollees include children of diplomats, one of whom is 11-year-old extremely precocious Janna...
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Funny story: Whole lotta twerkin' goin' on!

Whole lotta twerkin' goin' on!

BENNINGTON, VT - Students--especially coed students--at Bennington, VT's, Catholic academy, Mount Anthony Union High School, really know how to "get down"--and their principal, Susie Q. Maguire is not happy about her student body's fancy moves. In...
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Funny story: Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban Defends NFL

Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban Defends NFL

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has given an impassioned defense of football at a Dallas news conference. In his opening statement he said that the NFL had more than 200 unique million viewers last season. "Hundreds of thousands of them were po...
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Funny story: Global warming protesters go bonkers at Kanye's 'chevron' haircut

Global warming protesters go bonkers at Kanye's 'chevron' haircut

London, UK - Eyewitnesses have described how a climate change rabble protesting against hydrocarbons stuff went 'absolutely mental' when Kanye West arrived in London today. The rapper appeared with what looks like a giant 'chevron' shaved into hi...
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Funny story: Islamic State insurgents 'going mental' about Tuesday's Sperm Harvest Moon

Islamic State insurgents 'going mental' about Tuesday's Sperm Harvest Moon

Iraq - (Bleedin Cheek Mess): Widespread paranoia among IS renegades has seen millions of women rounded up and incarcerated in makeshit - uh, makeshift! - menstruation huts ahead of next Tuesday's full moon. The huge colony of 'bleedin' shacks' h...
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Funny story: Bonita Jackson spouts kiddie tough love garbage

Bonita Jackson spouts kiddie tough love garbage

Spring, Texas - "When ya whoop someone you love, it's about love," the mother of benched Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson said today as pics of her grandson's injuries went viral on the web. "That's how to prepare them for the real w...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse statue to be erected at London's Skank Central

Amy Winehouse statue to be erected at London's Skank Central

London, UK - A life size sculpture of the seedy smack addict who drank herself to death aged 27 is to be erected at Stables Market in Camden, North London, on a spot where she regularly scored crack cocaine. Heaving with stalls selling tacky drugs...
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Funny story: Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

The North of England is said to be inconsolable after polls have indicated that Scotland will be leaving them. A spokesperson for Northern England told our reporter this morning "England will be a funny shape, has no-one thought of that? Also a f...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Sues Church of Scamatology

Sarah Palin Sues Church of Scamatology

Wassilly, Alaska Former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin was dismayed when trying to enter the Celebrity Centre of the L.A. branch of the Church of Scamatology. "They told me I wasn't a celebrity!" shouted Palin. "I said, 'Do you know who the #@%$ I...
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Funny story: Limbaugh Hoisted Up On Own Petard

Limbaugh Hoisted Up On Own Petard

Speaking on Ohio State's new sexual assault policy, conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh had his own ideas of what consent to sex means. "How many guys, in your own experience with women, have learned that no means yes if you know how to spot it?...
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Funny story: Jeff Lynne 'Oasis are Shit'!

Jeff Lynne 'Oasis are Shit'!

ELO frontman Jeff Lynne has launched an astonishing attack on 90s sensations Oasis calling the band and their music 'shit'. In an interview with Rolling Rock magazine, Lynne says Noel Gallagher is a 'Jessie', and 'a talentless one at that'. 'T...
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Funny story: Masturbation Police May Be Necessary

Masturbation Police May Be Necessary

Joni Ernst, the GOP candidate for the U.S. Senate in Iowa today spoke about the "sanctity of sacred sperm." "While it is true that a fertilized egg is a person, which is my position that certainly outlaws abortion in the cases of rape or incest,...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Buys Kim Jong-Un's Comic Book Collection From Craigslist

Justin Bieber Buys Kim Jong-Un's Comic Book Collection From Craigslist

Pyongyang, North Korea Pop star and professional law-breaker Justin Bieber has contacted roly-poly dictator Kim Jong-Un and purchased his massive comic book collection off from Craigslist. The icing on the cake was supposedly Kim throwing in an autog...
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Funny story: Jeter's Retirement Spells Doom For Franchise

Jeter's Retirement Spells Doom For Franchise

Ask anyone who the "all-star" of the Bronxville, NY Yankee Auto Parts is, and they'll tell you: Bob Jeter. Jeter, 65, is retiring at the end of this month after 40 memorable years at the branch. Working his way up the chain from gasket salesman to...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Joins Insane Clown Posse

Justin Bieber Joins Insane Clown Posse

Detroit, MI Crazy clown duo, the Insane Clown Posse, whose followers include topless women and crazed looking guys called Juggalos, admitted new member Justin Bieber to the group. Justin Bieber says that he will start spraying people with Faygo P...
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Funny story: NSA Institutes New Program, MEMGONE

NSA Institutes New Program, MEMGONE

A program called "MEMGONE," which erases the political memory of the American people who watch, read, or hear the mass media as been instituted by the National Security Administration or NSA. Major newspapers, network and cable news are cooperating...
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Funny story: New Shakespeare Maths For Schools

New Shakespeare Maths For Schools

The Government is introducing a new programme for schools, starting this week. A mix up somewhere in the Ministry of Education has led to the ideas for Maths and Literature being confused. Former Minister of Education, Michael Guv, explained that...
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Funny story: Nude celebrity statues to be added to Statuary Hall

Nude celebrity statues to be added to Statuary Hall

WHITEWASHINGTON, AC/DC -- In 1864, Congress allowed each state to contribute two statues of prominent citizens to be displayed in the building's Statuary Hall. There were only two qualifications: the citizens to be so "honored" had to be white and ma...
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Funny story: Pelosi Finally Gets Committed After Saying GOP Winning Senate Would End Civilization

Pelosi Finally Gets Committed After Saying GOP Winning Senate Would End Civilization

San Francisco, CA - House Minority leader Nancy Pelosi has finally been committed to an unnamed mental health facility for her own good, as well as the benefit of the rest of society. All that is really known about the facility is that it is located...
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Funny story: 64% of Colorado cannabis users don't remember where they put their pot, says study

64% of Colorado cannabis users don't remember where they put their pot, says study

According to a recent study by the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment, 64% of the state's cannabis users can't remember where they put their pot. 30 people, who admitted to recreational marijuana use at least once day, were anal...
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Funny story: Purring Queen Raises More Questions Than Answers

Purring Queen Raises More Questions Than Answers

Reports that claim The Queen "purred" when David Cameron told her about Scotland's rejection of independence, have raised more questions than answers and have the British public demanding to know what sort of woman their Queen really is. The pri...
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Funny story: US numerologists predict Scots Nationalists will lose by 911,000 votes

US numerologists predict Scots Nationalists will lose by 911,000 votes

New York - Number crunchers at a hush-hush US federal agency are betting on making a shedload of $$$s out of Thursday's Scottish independence vote. At odds of 911/1 with online spread betting site Aintgottaprayer.con their million bucks punt says...
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Funny story: US Department of Applied Phobias Releases New List

US Department of Applied Phobias Releases New List

The US Department of Applied Phobias (USDAP) has just released a new list of phobias to be applied to political opponents of the current administration. This list was created in order to head off what looks to be a major collapse of the Democrat Part...
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Funny story: KKK: Underground Rap A-OK, but ONLY Underground Rap.

KKK: Underground Rap A-OK, but ONLY Underground Rap.

The Ku Klux Klan has made a somewhat peculiar (and not necessarily entirely sincere?) attempt to find black supporters and allies. They have stated that they prefer underground rap to mainstream gangster rap, as the following highly authentic and...
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Funny story: Local Teen Wants More People To Not Get Him: Wants to be more mysterious

Local Teen Wants More People To Not Get Him: Wants to be more mysterious

Cumberland, MN - A local teenager is frustrated that not more people don't get him and don't consider him a brooding deep-thinker who they find intriguingly mysterious. Austin Smithers, 17, who is a junior at Walter Mondale High School in Cumberl...
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Funny story: Plan To Celebrate Scottish Independence By Putting Midget On The Moon Backfires

Plan To Celebrate Scottish Independence By Putting Midget On The Moon Backfires

A surprise plan to celebrate Scottish Independence by putting the female half of The Krankies on the moon backfired yesterday when it was realised that the intention had been to put the proposed Scottish Emblem, a swarm of midges, not midgets there.
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Funny story: Invisible Hamsters - Obama's Secret Anti Terror Weapon

Invisible Hamsters - Obama's Secret Anti Terror Weapon

In a stranger than fiction planned pre-emptive strike against radicalised Syrian terrorist hamsters, "Stealth" (or "invisible" hamsters) will be deployed to hunt and destroy war gerbils, white assassin mice and suicide bombing laboratory rats on the...
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Funny story: Obama Found To Have Terrible Disease

Obama Found To Have Terrible Disease

WASHINGTON - President Barack Obama will consider sending US military advisers into combat in Iraq on a "case-by-case basis," said General Martin Dempsey, American military's top-ranking officer told senators on Tuesday. Dempsey indicated he had d...
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Funny story: Joan Rivers Makin' 'Em Laugh in Hell

Joan Rivers Makin' 'Em Laugh in Hell

Comedienne Joan Rivers may have died last week following complications from plastic surgery, but that doesn't mean she's slowed down or lost her edge. The eighty-one year-old comic, known for her bitchy attitude, is still makin' 'em laugh in the afte...
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Funny story: 70% Of Americans Ignored By Politicians

70% Of Americans Ignored By Politicians

In the United States, one of the main topics of academic political science is the study of public opinion and politicians' response. In the work it's concluded that for roughly 70% of the population - the lower 70% on the wealth/income scale - they...
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Funny story: Kanye/LL Cool J Most Passive-Aggressive Rap Grudge in Decades

Kanye/LL Cool J Most Passive-Aggressive Rap Grudge in Decades

There's a lot of jive about the so-called grudge between Tupac and Biggie, but this storm in a teacup pales in comparison to the biggest, baddest rap grudge in history. Check it. Kanye West recently had these well-meaning but uncomplimentary words...
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Funny story: Must Return To Slave Etiquette Says Angela

Must Return To Slave Etiquette Says Angela

A recent report shows that Police officers, security guards, or self- appointed vigilantes extra judicially killed at least 313 African-Americans in 2012, according to a recent study. This means a policeman or security officer killed a black person e...
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Funny story: NATO summit latest: Obama commandeers both presidential suites at Celtic Manor golf resort

NATO summit latest: Obama commandeers both presidential suites at Celtic Manor golf resort

Newport, Wales - Lured no doubt by an impressive list of exclusive facilities the President of the United States will lord it over fellow NATO leaders this week after snaffling up the resort's best suites at the two day Welsh** summit's-gotta-give.
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Funny story: Upper 1% Of Rich Buy U.S. Military To Protect Them From Other 99% Of Society

Upper 1% Of Rich Buy U.S. Military To Protect Them From Other 99% Of Society

In a surprising development, the upper 1% of the richest Americans have purchased the entire U.S. military to protect them from the other 99% that they lord over. All troops except those actively engaging an enemy somewhere in the world have been cal...
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Funny story: GOP: "Obama is skating on thin ISSIS!"

GOP: "Obama is skating on thin ISSIS!"

An angry President Barack Obama strode to the podium in the Rose Garden this morning and immediately lashed out at the GOP. "This latest attack by the Republicans in Congress has finally gone beyond the pail. ISSIS is not thin by any means and the...
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Funny story: Mel Gibson Says He Can Beat Hillary

Mel Gibson Says He Can Beat Hillary

Mel Gibson, the controversial and successful actor, said today that he could easily beat Hillary Clinton in the presidential election of 2016. Using phrases that have gotten him national attention in the past he said, "Hillary was born with light...
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