Funny story: Oil, Gas Pipeliners Said To Be Shaolin Monks; 'Snatch The Pebble From My Hand A#&Hole'

Oil, Gas Pipeliners Said To Be Shaolin Monks; 'Snatch The Pebble From My Hand A#&Hole'

BOW TO YOUR SENSEI, MARSHALL COUNTY, WV -- A local law enforcement official has confirmed what many have feared about transient oil and gas pipeliners -- they are actually a more aggressive rogue sect of 19th century Shaolin monks who like to initiat...
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Funny story: Woman Charged With Stone Ass Dead Drunk DUI Had 100 Percent Blood Alcohol Content

Woman Charged With Stone Ass Dead Drunk DUI Had 100 Percent Blood Alcohol Content

A Marshall County, WV, woman has been charged with DUI-Stone Ass Dead Drunk after she registered a 100 percent blood alcohol content. "That's really well over the BAC limit, about ... well, a whole helluva lot over the limit," said Sheriff Kevin C...
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Funny story: Tonight There's Been A Jailbreak!

Tonight There's Been A Jailbreak!

England's prison system (which has long been described as Butlins with bars) has fucked up yet again. Back and to the Left news has never understood the point of having a open prison, isn't that just a hotel that you don't pay for? If we ran a open p...
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Funny story: Supreme Court Rules to Include Ten Commandments in Federal Jury Instructions

Supreme Court Rules to Include Ten Commandments in Federal Jury Instructions

One-upping its recent ruling allowing public prayers before town meetings in Greece, New York, the Supreme Court voted 5-4 to include the Ten Commandments in federal criminal jury instructions. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote for the majority, "It d...
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Funny story: Sharia-style lapidations for anyone caught fornicating at Sultan of Brunei's Beverly Hills Hotel

Sharia-style lapidations for anyone caught fornicating at Sultan of Brunei's Beverly Hills Hotel

Los Angeles - And filthy - uh, fifty! - lashes for sneaking in rough trade into the $10,000-night Presidential Suite, especially from outside Brunei's officially-sanctioned hooker pool. The draconian punishments also apply to what Sultan Hass-Anal...
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Funny story: Pope To Translate Bible to 140 Characters #blessed

Pope To Translate Bible to 140 Characters #blessed

The streets of the Vatican were bustling as White Smoke alerted all the citizens. White Smoke being the official app of the Pope. The sound of Marimba echoing through the streets. "Oh Our God! Is the Pope #RIP?" tweeted @vatikitty12. Sighs of relief...
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Funny story: New Alzheimer's Support I Think It's Chilly In Here

New Alzheimer's Support I Think It's Chilly In Here

Give me a minute, I'll think of it - A new Alzheimer's support group is set to begin um sometime in uh April maybe or was it Uncle Herbert right after he got back from overseas? You know he never was the same I can't imagine the things he saw over th...
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Funny story: We Are the 0.99%: Rich Protest the Rich/Super-Rich Income Gap

We Are the 0.99%: Rich Protest the Rich/Super-Rich Income Gap

LOS ANGELES-According to a new study from the Brookings Institution, the income gap between the rich and super-rich has reached its largest margin in a century. This revelation has sparked outrage among the (almost) richest people in the country.
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Funny story: Tybee Island DA Wants To Know Why Mice Get All The Good Medicine - Wants Answers

Tybee Island DA Wants To Know Why Mice Get All The Good Medicine - Wants Answers

Tybee Island District Attorney, Tommy Cock, is demanding that the FDA stop giving ground breaking drugs and medical treatment to mice; but instead administer them to humans, in a poorly worded letter, mailed yesterday. The note, filled with grammar errors, typos and spelling mistakes has been passed to this news agency; below is the transcript: Dear FDA, I resently (sic) read that scient...
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Funny story: Koch Bros. Buy Democrat Party, Harry Reid Short Circuits

Koch Bros. Buy Democrat Party, Harry Reid Short Circuits

Washington, D.C. - The Koch Brothers have had it with Harry Reid, the Senate Majority Leader from Nevada, and his constant railing against the brothers every time he props himself up against the podium on the floor of the Senate to spew asinine c...
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Funny story: WV Gov.'s Name Serial Killer Worthy; Earl Ray Tomblin Follows Uncle Murda On List

WV Gov.'s Name Serial Killer Worthy; Earl Ray Tomblin Follows Uncle Murda On List

West Virginia Governor Earl Ray Tomblin has been included in a magazine's list of celebrities and public figures whose names make them sound like serial killers. Serial Killer Magazine recently asked their readers for input in compiling a Top 10 l...
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Funny story: Second Coming Of Christ Postponed Indefinitely

Second Coming Of Christ Postponed Indefinitely

HEAVEN - In a move many observers described as inevitable, representatives of God, the Christian God that is, announced Tuesday the indefinite postponement of any "Second Coming" or "Ressurection" that had been promised to Christians for more than t...
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Funny story: Britain forced to change name

Britain forced to change name

Britain can no longer call itself Great Britain after a high court ruling today. The Law Lords have decided after seeing evidence of poverty on a scale not seen outside of Africa that from now on Britain should be known as Bit Crap Britain instead.
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Funny story: Nigerian email scammers suspected in Boko Haram 'Buy One, Get One Free!' child bride trafficking promo

Nigerian email scammers suspected in Boko Haram 'Buy One, Get One Free!' child bride trafficking promo

Lagos, Nigeria - Reports from the Nigerian capital Lagos today say that Islamist nutjobs Boko Haram may have been duped into parting with hundreds of thousands of US dollars in 'transaction facilitation warranty' payments after advertising the sale o...
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