Funny story: As Russia And Ukraine Head Towards War English Troops Massing At Scottish Border

As Russia And Ukraine Head Towards War English Troops Massing At Scottish Border

The UN has announced that it is concerned with reports claiming English troops are massing at the Scottish border, drawing parallels between Russia and Ukraine. Sunday's referendum held in Ukraine's Crimea region, which resulted in Crimea becoming...
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Funny story: Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Wants To Ban Same-Sex Couples From Visiting The Grand Canyon

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Wants To Ban Same-Sex Couples From Visiting The Grand Canyon

PHOENIX - Jan Brewer, the lame duck governor of Arizona, has privately said that she is not leaving office without making some hellacious waves. Governor Brewer allegedly told a very close friend that she is serious about her anti-gay and anti-les...
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Funny story: Katy Perry Confesses She Would Love To French Kiss Lindsay Lohan

Katy Perry Confesses She Would Love To French Kiss Lindsay Lohan

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Katy Perry has said that she did not really care for the lips-on-lips kiss that she received from Miley Cyrus AKA, The Princess of Twerking. She said the reason was because Miley tried to put her enormous, lizard-looking tongue do...
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Funny story: Michigan Explains Why It Will Now Allow Same-Sex Marriages

Michigan Explains Why It Will Now Allow Same-Sex Marriages

ANN ARBOR, Michigan - The state of Michigan has just announced that it will now allow same sex couples [i.e. a guy and a guy or a gal and a gal] to enter into holy matrimony. The state's thousands of same-sexers cheered so loudly that people livin...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Nearly Naked On Unicycle

Miley Cyrus Nearly Naked On Unicycle

Well, we know now that there is still more ways to perform on stage while you are singing. Last night Miley Cyrus appeared at "Le derrière" wearing a string bikini and riding a unicycle. Oh, she also wore a tophat, that kept nearly falling off.
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Funny story: Russian cosmonauts kicked off International Space Station as sanctions start to bite

Russian cosmonauts kicked off International Space Station as sanctions start to bite

Space, the Final Affrontiere - Up to half a dozen Russian space men will be getting the boot this weekend amid Starfleet suspicions their Klingon credentials are a pile of Romulan crap. An executive order signed by United Federation of Planets com...
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Funny story: Ale Vs. Amens

Ale Vs. Amens

A recent study conducted by science people wearing white lab coats, in sterile laboratory type environments, of job satisfaction in Britain has come out with some shocking results. Jobs in farming rated as having among the happiest workers in the...
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Funny story: China Informs North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un It Has Had It With His Missile Antics

China Informs North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un It Has Had It With His Missile Antics

HONG KONG - The Republic of China has just informed Kim Jong Un that they will no longer tolerate his constant shooting off of his wayward missiles. A representative for the Chinese government stated in no uncertain terms that China has had it wit...
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Funny story: Cricket Comprehension

Cricket Comprehension

There was much head scratching and pipe choking this week at the sudden announcement of yet another app. for the iPhone. In a move that has been conversely called "inexplicable", "absurd" and "what the hell?" Apple recently proclaimed the coming of a...
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Funny story: Man On The Street Says Economy Sucks

Man On The Street Says Economy Sucks

Lucas Mattingly, a man on the street, says that the United States economy has gone to S*it. "I blame the President and the continent", he told the people who would stop and listen. He also happened to buttonhole Tom Thatcher, reporter at large (40...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Talks About Her Sunburn, Her Butt Bruise, and Her Twerking

Miley Cyrus Talks About Her Sunburn, Her Butt Bruise, and Her Twerking

TAMPA, Florida - It appears that Miley's parents never told their little moneymaker about sunblock. The "Wrecking Ball" singer took to the sun and sand and ended up with sunburn and a Picasso painting shaped bruise on her caboose. Miley was ask...
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Funny story: Why I Will Not Go See the New Blockbuster Movie Noah

Why I Will Not Go See the New Blockbuster Movie Noah

By the Atheist Curmudgeon Like many who grew up in this Christian nation, I read the story of Noah's Ark in Genesis 6-9 as a kid. Then later, as an adult who could tell the difference between fairytales and reality, I read it again. Unlike parts of the Bible (like Ecclesiastes) which I've returned to more than once for their beauty and wisdom, the story of Noah's Ark is one I rarely go back t...
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Funny story: President Gets Rough on Justin Bieber

President Gets Rough on Justin Bieber

President Obama says that this time Justin Bieber has taken his bag of tricks a little too far. A steaming President says that he will deport the young man as soon as his own wife and family return home. Bieber is accused of blowing up the Hoov...
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Funny story: 5 Questions about Ukraine and Crimea you're afraid to ask and really shouldn't ask

5 Questions about Ukraine and Crimea you're afraid to ask and really shouldn't ask

WASHINGTON D.C. - As Vladimir Putin defies Washington's wishes, millions of Americans are left asking questions that would never be asked in other first-world countries. Spare yourself some embarrassment and commit this info to memory. Also, change the subject if someone brings all this up in conversation. 1) Is it "The Ukraine" or "Ukraine"? Short answer: Who the hell cares? Long answer: I...
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Funny story: Pope Francis not Frightened of Mafia "Cissy Boys"

Pope Francis not Frightened of Mafia "Cissy Boys"

Pope Francis told shocked Mafia delegates at a meeting of Godfathers yesterday that their blood-stained money, blood-stained power and bllod stained handkerchiefs, can't now be taken with them into the next life when the new blood stain laundering me...
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Funny story: The Ukraine Mandates That All Bars Be Closed Immediately

The Ukraine Mandates That All Bars Be Closed Immediately

KIEV, Ukraine - Word coming out of the Ukraine is that the government has issued a mandate that will go into effect immediately. The Ukraine has proclaimed that as of now, all bars will be closed indefinitely. The reason that is being given is...
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Funny story: The John & Bob Denver International Airport Is Starting To Have Problems With Wayward Drones

The John & Bob Denver International Airport Is Starting To Have Problems With Wayward Drones

DENVER - The John & Bob Denver International Airport located in the Rocky Mountain city of Denver is one of the first in the United States to report a wayward drone problem. Airport director Washburn Bookbottom said that it became a full fledg...
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Funny story: Popular California Tattoo Artist Says A Very Famous Celebrity Inquired About Getting A Butt Tattoo

Popular California Tattoo Artist Says A Very Famous Celebrity Inquired About Getting A Butt Tattoo

VENICE BEACH, California - One of the most highly respected tattoo artists in the United States, Bong Bong of Venice Beach, said that he has just received a call from a famous celebrity inquiring about a tattoo. Bong Bong said that the celebrity i...
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Funny story: Al-Qaeda Buys A French Destroyer

Al-Qaeda Buys A French Destroyer

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States CIA has just learned from a source within Al-Qaeda that the terrorist group has just purchased a 27-year-old destroyer. The information was texted to a CIA receptionist and was traced back to a Fasheen Kazdeli...
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Funny story: Ben & Jerry's To Introduce An Ice Cream In Honor of This Year's Snowzilla

Ben & Jerry's To Introduce An Ice Cream In Honor of This Year's Snowzilla

SOUTH BURLINGTON, Vermont - The ice cream creators at Ben & Jerry's in Vermont have been working overtime creating a new flavored ice cream in honor of all of the East Coast winter storms that have been battering the upper right side of the USA.
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Funny story: Pope Francis Warns Joan Rivers She Better Stop With Her Hate-Filled, Venom-Spewing Ways Or She'll End Up In Hell

Pope Francis Warns Joan Rivers She Better Stop With Her Hate-Filled, Venom-Spewing Ways Or She'll End Up In Hell

VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis recently stated to a group of Cardinal trainees at the Vatican that he cannot stress enough the fact that they need to remember the tremendous lawsuits that a group of libido-crazed priests have cost the church. He told...
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Funny story: Blake Shelton Says That He And Porn Star Pretzel Garibaldi Are Just Good Friends

Blake Shelton Says That He And Porn Star Pretzel Garibaldi Are Just Good Friends

LOS ANGELES - Country music recording artist and star of The Voice Blake Shelton has said that he wants to clear up a matter that the media has grabbed a hold of. Shelton, who is married to fellow country artist Miranda Lambert, told Buck Yazoo wi...
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Funny story: Whoopi Goldberg Into Another Fight With Barbara Walters

Whoopi Goldberg Into Another Fight With Barbara Walters

After several other fights on the air of The View, one earlier with Barbara Walters, Whoopi was at it again yesterday. Also, Barbara Walters had plenty to say. "She has no talent and so she has to go about attacking people to keep her name in t...
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Funny story: Pope Francis Issues Approval For Condoms To Be Used For Entertainment

Pope Francis Issues Approval For Condoms To Be Used For Entertainment

Pope Francis this morning stated that it was permissible for Catholic Clowns to use blown up condoms to make poodles and other small animals out of them. "But no eroticism or use of French Ticklers ot glow-in-the-dark!" The Clowns were overjoye...
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Funny story: Book Review - Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne

Book Review - Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne

This book was a little too deep for my liking. As a shallow sort of guy I was a little out of my depth. As I read it my heart sank as I plunged into a depression. I do not like to whale, and I am not fishing for compliments, but this was oceans worse than my book, Seven Leagues Under the Sea. Anyway, I hope that in the years to come Miss Verne writes other books, she is a talented write...
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Funny story: Pope Frankie the Argie will hear Obama's confession at the Vatican on Thursday

Pope Frankie the Argie will hear Obama's confession at the Vatican on Thursday

Washington - "If things get sticky Mr President you can always tell him one of your, uh, altar boy jokes," the head of the Secret Service chuckled today, "the one about anointing with Ecuadorian oils bound to be to his taste." The pre-visit preppi...
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Funny story: Book Review - The List by Steve Martini

Book Review - The List by Steve Martini

A Twat is a MASSIVE fan of Steve Martin. He loved him in Parenthood and Parenthood 3 (not so hot on Parenthood 2) and he is utterly hilariously as that guy with the big nose. A TWAT DID NOT KNOW HE WROTE BOOKS! Wow! What a talented guy, despite his big nose. What the list is, A Twat does not know, by A Twat, who is continuing to write in third person, also could write a book about lists...
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Funny story: Book Review - The Postman Always Rings Twice by James M Cain

Book Review - The Postman Always Rings Twice by James M Cain

A Twat wishes his postman would ring once! Many a time A Twat have missed letters and packages because he is too LAZY to ring the doorbell...and he hates A Twat's pack of rottweilers that A Twat allows to roam around in A Twat's yard. A Twat suggests that A Twat's postman read this book and consider ringing at least once in future! A Twat liked this book and A Twat has today decided to refer...
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