There were 268 spoof news stories published in June 2014. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Qatari Shaikh offers Roman Abramovich $3bn for Chelsea Football Club

Qatari Shaikh offers Roman Abramovich $3bn for Chelsea Football Club

Doha, Qatar - An oil-rich nabob from the gas state of Qatar has brought a three billion dollar smirk to the Russian mobster's face. Shaikh Mustapha Pee bin Dishdasha, son of the Emir, is even throwing in some spare gas wells, a 50ft ocean-going ya...
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Funny story: Man's Hangover 100 Times More Painful Than Wife Giving Birth

Man's Hangover 100 Times More Painful Than Wife Giving Birth

A Fort Lauderdale man is claiming that his hangover, a result of a night of excessive drinking, smoking and more drinking is probably a lot more painful than childbirth. Duncan Whitehead, 47, who right now is suffering from an excruciating headach...
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Funny story: Prince Philip (Duke Of Edinburgh) Does Not Die In His Sleep For 33,945 Consecutive Night

Prince Philip (Duke Of Edinburgh) Does Not Die In His Sleep For 33,945 Consecutive Night

Prince Philip, husband of Queen Elizabeth of England, much to the surprise of his butler, valet and the guy who changes his diapers; woke up this morning and had not died in his sleep. "Every morning for the past two years, we expect to find the P...
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Funny story: Funeral Homes Preparing For Baby Boomer Bonanza

Funeral Homes Preparing For Baby Boomer Bonanza

Funeral homes and undertakers across the United States are said to be "sitting on a goldmine" as millions of so-called 'Baby Boomers' approach death and their final days on earth. Those Baby Boomers not suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's are a...
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Funny story: Stores Fill Shelves With Crap In Preparation For Father's Day

Stores Fill Shelves With Crap In Preparation For Father's Day

Thousands of frantic Walmart, Target and K-Mart employees are busy stocking shelves this evening with useless and utter shit in preparation for Father's Day, as kids around the country begrudgingly delve into their pocket's to buy Dad something he do...
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Funny story: California Chrome sold to Roman Abramovich for fifty million bucks

California Chrome sold to Roman Abramovich for fifty million bucks

Louisville, Kentucky - The dual Kentucky Derby/Preakness champion will stand at Abramovich's Gazprom Stables dubbed bluegrass country's most famous equine stud. Announcing the reported $50m deal co-owners Steve Coburn and Perry Martin said the awe...
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Funny story: Missing Wallet Found After Frantic Search That Included Swearing At Kids

Missing Wallet Found After Frantic Search That Included Swearing At Kids

A South Florida man is celebrating this evening after finding his lost result after an extensive search which included driving to all the stores he had visited that day, kicking his cat, calling his wife "an idiot" and swearing at his children. Du...
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Funny story: Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

No monkeying around! Now that they are pressing for the right to sue, a number of chimps have decided to go to law school. One chimp points out, "The proceeds of successful lawsuits should stay within the species. Why should we let bossy humans...
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Funny story: Pediatricians Urge Parents to Read Aloud to Kids, Starting at Birth

Pediatricians Urge Parents to Read Aloud to Kids, Starting at Birth

"Yippee!" said one bookseller when she heard the news. She continued,"This is our big chance to dump our inventory of kids' books." Giving a thumbs-up sign to an assistant, she said, "Get all the junk onto the selling floor and prepare to sell, sel...
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Funny story: Mayo Clinic study: The heartbreak of (Loving Your Own Farts (LYOF) receives $50,000,000 federal grant!

Mayo Clinic study: The heartbreak of (Loving Your Own Farts (LYOF) receives $50,000,000 federal grant!

In an early morning press conference today in Rochester, Minnesota, the Mayo Clinic announced the results of its study of LYOF. The study titled: The heartbreak of LYOF (Loving your own farts) and sub-titled: Mankinds infatuation wirh flatulatio...
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Funny story: Pope Fears The Voice's Sr. Cristina May Want His Job

Pope Fears The Voice's Sr. Cristina May Want His Job

He's a nervous wreck these days, as he thinks unemployment could be looming. Sr. Cristina may want to be Pope, he's told friends, adding, "And she' a triple threat. She sings, she dances, she prays. And one more thing. She's Italian, which is...
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Funny story: Tybee Island Gets New McDonald's Next Door To Current McDonald's

Tybee Island Gets New McDonald's Next Door To Current McDonald's

Tybee Island: McDonald's have announced that it is to open a second McDonald's restaraunt next door to an existing McDonald's in the rather odd little town of Tybee, Tybee Island. "Big Mac lovers just can't stand being far from their favorite McD...
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Funny story: Bear Lying in a Hammock Offered a Job

Bear Lying in a Hammock Offered a Job

He was relaxing and minding his own business when the photo went viral. The bear has told friends he fails to see why it's such an oddity. "What's so interesting about seeing someone relax in a hammock?" he asks. A major hammock maker thought i...
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Funny story: Cat Makes 2000 Mile Journey Home Only To Be Ran Over By Texting Teen

Cat Makes 2000 Mile Journey Home Only To Be Ran Over By Texting Teen

A 3-year-old orange tabby cat who famously crossed the United States on foot to reunite with his family after he was mistakenly left behind by movers has been run over and squashed in what family and friends are calling a 'bloodbath'. Sammy, who i...
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Funny story: Pentagon Vows to Invade Cascadia as Soon as They Find it on a Map

Pentagon Vows to Invade Cascadia as Soon as They Find it on a Map

The Pentagon and the NSA are in a fury over the growing independence movement in Cascadia. Cascadia which is regarded by many as the Scotland of North America. Cascadia is nestled in the Pacific Northwest from the redwoods of California and north...
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Funny story: Farting Adds To Your Life Expectancy

Farting Adds To Your Life Expectancy

Scientists in an international project located in Bordeaux, France, have declared the relevancy of he "fart" to the health of humans. "Farts," said Franz Lipken, the German member of the team, "are fun. They give people the chance to relax and...
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Funny story: Prince Andrew photographed wanking

Prince Andrew photographed wanking

Prince Andrew has been photographed wanking with the help of his mother, HRH, Queen Elizabeth II. His tentative strokes were captured on Sunday as nephews, princes William and Harry lined up on opposing sides in the Jerudong Trophy at Cirencester...
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Funny story: Spy vs. Spy: Poison Shortage Triggers Suicide Crisis

Spy vs. Spy: Poison Shortage Triggers Suicide Crisis

Washington, DC - One of spying's essentials - the cyanide capsule - is in such short supply that a dangerous suicide backlog is developing at the CIA, the NSA, the Secret Service and other federal surveillance agencies. "Anyone assigned to spy fo...
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Funny story: Harrison Ford crushed by defective Millenium Falcon, sues movie studio 'for an arm and a leg'

Harrison Ford crushed by defective Millenium Falcon, sues movie studio 'for an arm and a leg'

Pinewood Studios, UK - "At first glance it looked like a bit of attention seeking drama queenery," a Spinewood Studios gaffer said today, "considering he'd just been given the classic thespian good luck greeting of Break A Leg! by fellow actors."...
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Funny story: Tybee DA Collapses After Indian Meal At Army Barracks

Tybee DA Collapses After Indian Meal At Army Barracks

Tybee Island District Attorney Ken Suckacock is reported to have collapsed after a heavy drinking session at an army base near Savannah. Suckacok was invited to attend the function at Hunter Army Air Field where he was served Indian cuisine. Ge...
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Funny story: Blair's rousing speech - "Once more unto Iraq, dear friends, once more, Cry 'God for Tony, America, and Crude Oil!'

Blair's rousing speech - "Once more unto Iraq, dear friends, once more, Cry 'God for Tony, America, and Crude Oil!'

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair urged the British Government to re-invade Iraq yesterday to protect the moderate Shiites against the Sunnis that are threatening to capture the capital Baghdad. He promised the world that terrorist group ISIS has got...
View 'Blair's rousing speech - "Once more unto Iraq, dear friends, once more, Cry 'God for Tony, America, and Crude Oil!''
Funny story: Covert "Girl Detector" Discovered In Windows Operating Systems

Covert "Girl Detector" Discovered In Windows Operating Systems

Redmond, WA - Microsoft Corporation was on the defensive today after an independent software research group released its findings that Microsoft's Windows operating systems contain a hidden 'girl detector.' The existence of the girl detector confi...
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Funny story: Toast Of New York burns his Epson Derby bridges, heads for Belmont Invitational instead

Toast Of New York burns his Epson Derby bridges, heads for Belmont Invitational instead

New York - A Brti-trained wonder horse named after its eponymous Upper East Side breakfast bar owners is homeward bound for a tilt at this year's $1.25m Belmont Derby Invitational. Toast of New York is now a firm 3/1 favorite for the 5 July 10-fur...
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Funny story: Fair Play Dead: Women's Curling Team Fail Drugs Test

Fair Play Dead: Women's Curling Team Fail Drugs Test

Fair play has officially taken its final breath and soiled its pants as the entire Canadian curling team had their Winter Olympics Gold medals revoked this morning, after testing positive for steroid abuse amongst other banned substances. Drug use...
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Funny story: Scamatology to Provide Each Remaining Member With Own Skyscraper

Scamatology to Provide Each Remaining Member With Own Skyscraper

Clearly Criminal, FL While its membership dwindles, the "church" of Scamatology has been buying up buildings in major cities to use as Scamatology meeting places. This is despite the fact that membership in the cult has been rapidly dwindling as its...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Reveals She Was Original Member of "The Beverly Hillbillies"

Hillary Clinton Reveals She Was Original Member of "The Beverly Hillbillies"

New York City - Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton came out of the poor house long enough today, on her current book tour, to confess to the world how hard her life has been. She and former President Clinton were "dead broke." Clinton,...
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Funny story: How Did a Piano End up in NYC's East River?

How Did a Piano End up in NYC's East River?

it's sitting pretty, right under the Brooklyn Bridge, but nobody knows how it got there. Speculation is rampant though. Here are a few of the rumors: -- Billy Joel, The Piano Man, put it there to create publicity for his next concert. -- The ghost of Liberace is responsible. He's still looking for a candelabra to complete the picture. -- The piano may be the first piece of a huge or...
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Funny story: US student rescued from giant German vagina sculpture tested for STDs

US student rescued from giant German vagina sculpture tested for STDs

Tübingen, Germany - (Ass Mess): A 100ft, 32-ton red Veronese marble sculpture of a vagina positioned outside Tübingen University Institute for Microbiology and Virology is being tested for sexually transmitted diseases this week following an inciden...
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Funny story: Planets Stand Still - Steven Hawking Changing O.S. Rebooting In 5 Mins . . . . .Please Wait

Planets Stand Still - Steven Hawking Changing O.S. Rebooting In 5 Mins . . . . .Please Wait

Tidal Waves, Earthquakes, Tsunamis and Volcanic Plasma Flows ravaged the earth at 2.00 am. this morning for 1000th of one second as Steven Hawking changed the O.S. of the solar system from Windows to Mac. "The changeover went smoothly with minimum...
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Funny story: IRS Commissioner Gollum Gets Grilled by Congress About His Precious Agency

IRS Commissioner Gollum Gets Grilled by Congress About His Precious Agency

Washington D.C. - This week has not been kind to Gollum and his "precious" agency, the Internal Revenge Service, as the creature has been on the hot seat having to answer for the mysterious disappearance of Lois Lerner's relevant emails. The g...
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Funny story: Queen and Duke of Edinburgh Appear On Antiques Roadshow - Valued At A Few Quid Each

Queen and Duke of Edinburgh Appear On Antiques Roadshow - Valued At A Few Quid Each

The Queen and Duke of Edinburgh have been told that despite being antiques their re-sale value is only a few quid, probably a fiver, at a car boot sale, maybe. The BBC TV show's experts told the Royal couple they were wasting their time, but appre...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin and Alaskans Complain About Sardine Cum Polluting Waters

Sarah Palin and Alaskans Complain About Sardine Cum Polluting Waters

Anchorage - Sardines entering coastal waters off Alaska have once again left a milky substance for miles of Alaskan coastline, causing conservatives to complain about the open display of unwanton sex! "It's just disgusting!" said Sarah Palin, "All...
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Funny story: 'Chill, brothers!' Obama tells insurgents, sends 300 Colorado marijuana consultants to Baghdad

'Chill, brothers!' Obama tells insurgents, sends 300 Colorado marijuana consultants to Baghdad

Washington - Their mission to open dozens of Weed-Cupcake-U-Like pop-up boutiques in downtown Baghdad will cater to Iraqis' notorious congenital cannabis deficiencies, something World Health Organization shrinks are blaming for current sectarian stri...
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Funny story: Science Proves That the Earth Was Destroyed Millions of Years Ago

Science Proves That the Earth Was Destroyed Millions of Years Ago

Scientists announced today that they have discovered light rays emanating from space that show the Earth being destroyed by a meteor swarm 21 million years ago. When asked why we didn't remember or find evidence of such a calamity before, one of...
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Funny story: Brian, 'The Bitch' And The Big Probe

Brian, 'The Bitch' And The Big Probe

A husband is accusing his wife of rape after allegedly refusing to give consent for a dildo to be inserted into his anus. Brian Moonwide, 31, met his wife Alexis 4 years ago and like most sex fiends are seen as reserved and quiet by their neighbou...
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Funny story: US sending 500 million down the rathole of Syria to carefully vetted rebels at various sign-up stations directed by Mr. Kerry

US sending 500 million down the rathole of Syria to carefully vetted rebels at various sign-up stations directed by Mr. Kerry

President Obama and his State Department are insisting there is no contradiction whatever between supporting Sunni rebels in Syria and fighting them in Iraq. The key safeguard is the "careful vetting." As Mr. Kerry has shown repeatedly, the US...
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Funny story: Nancy Pelosi to Reprise Role in Sequel to Brazil Movie

Nancy Pelosi to Reprise Role in Sequel to Brazil Movie

Hollywood - Nancy Pelosi has agreed to appear in the sequel to the 1985 movie, Brazil. The trippy movie based on George Orwell's book, 1984, is scheduled to be released in late 2015. Pelosi appeared in the original film to play Mrs. Ida Lowry...
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Funny story: FIFA Conquers Brazil, Establishes Autocratic "FIFdom"

FIFA Conquers Brazil, Establishes Autocratic "FIFdom"

BRASILIA, BRAZIL - According to recent reports, the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) has taken control of key cities in Brazil, toppled the Brazilian government, and changed the name of the South American country to "Goooo...
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Funny story: North Korea's World Cup Team Made up of Kim Jung Un's Illegitimate Off Spring

North Korea's World Cup Team Made up of Kim Jung Un's Illegitimate Off Spring

While the North Koreans bowed out in an early round to the Vanuatu National Soccer team 10-0, it is noteworthy that the entire team was made up of Kim Jung Un's illegitimate children from 23 different wives. Even though the whereabouts of their m...
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Funny story: Catholics put pot into their prayers, over Pope's objections

Catholics put pot into their prayers, over Pope's objections

The Vatican - A secret enclave of Catholic bishops and cardinals has added marijuana smoking to the church's menu of Holy Sacraments. The unprecedented action is expected to boost the popularity of Catholicism while replenishing the church's coffers,...
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Funny story: Miami Heat Sign Bela Karolyi To Carry LeBron Up And Down Court If Cramps Persist

Miami Heat Sign Bela Karolyi To Carry LeBron Up And Down Court If Cramps Persist

CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON, SOUTH BEACH --The Miami Heat have hired legendary gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi to carry their star LeBron James up and down the court in case his cramping persists in the NBA finals against the San Antonio Spurs. "You can...
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Funny story: President Obama Arranges Astonishing Prisoner Exchange

President Obama Arranges Astonishing Prisoner Exchange

President Obama is on a roll with an all new sensational exchange arrangement. By now it's been well established that missing Teamsters kingpin Jimmy Hoffa was taken by the Taliban after vanishing from the parking lot of a restaurant in suburban Detr...
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Funny story: Van Gogh's Dr Gachet pops up mysteriously in Picasso's painting The Blue Room

Van Gogh's Dr Gachet pops up mysteriously in Picasso's painting The Blue Room

New York - The sudden apparition of Vincent van Gogh's Docteur Gachet in Pablo Picasso's 1901 depiction of The Blue Room has got the art world stumped. The oil on canvas painting shows a shapely naked blonde washing herself in a large blue basin,...
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Funny story: Chicken Tastes Most Like Chicken Of All Things That Taste Like Chicken

Chicken Tastes Most Like Chicken Of All Things That Taste Like Chicken

Springdale, AR - Of all the foods across the world that taste like chicken, a study has found that chicken tastes most like chicken. The study was carried out by Tyson Foods, Inc. (NYSE: TSN), the world's second largest producer of not only chick...
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Funny story: Obama's Latest Blunder: Shows Up at Wrong Normandy Location on Anniversary of D-Day

Obama's Latest Blunder: Shows Up at Wrong Normandy Location on Anniversary of D-Day

Houston, TX - President Obama's string of bad calls continues as one of his best opportunities in recent memory for a rating-boosting photo-op on the anniversary of the D-Day invasion went embarrassingly wrong. The President was supposed to sh...
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Funny story: 'Them Bruvvers Is Toast' says leader of fascist group descending on Cricklewood

'Them Bruvvers Is Toast' says leader of fascist group descending on Cricklewood

London - The global HQ of Egypt's exiled Muslim Brotherhood expects to be besieged by a new fascist splinter group this weekend in a weird North London satirical twist on Egyptian realpolitik. Pan-fascist far-fright mob the South Feast Alliance pl...
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Funny story: Texas Adopts "Word A Day" Toilet Paper As Official Language Arts Course For High Schools

Texas Adopts "Word A Day" Toilet Paper As Official Language Arts Course For High Schools

Austin, TX - The Texas State Board of Education has voted to make "Word A Day" toilet paper the core Language Arts course for Texas public high schools. Some parents have voiced opposition to the change because Word A Day toilet paper is more exp...
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Funny story: BBC Apologises for 'Welcome To Rio' documentary. Police hunt Cleo Rocos.

BBC Apologises for 'Welcome To Rio' documentary. Police hunt Cleo Rocos.

London- A spokesman admitted that the broadcaster had "got it seriously wrong" by commissioning hipsters to make its much criticised documentary series 'Welcome To Rio'. Police are understood to be no closer to identifying the whereabouts of the dang...
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Funny story: "People You May Know" Removed From Facebook

"People You May Know" Removed From Facebook

It has been scientifically proven that anyone who has added someone after finding them through the 'people you may know' feature on Facebook is a colossal cretin, leading Facebook to delete the feature. Social networking research experts Pew Resea...
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Funny story: Paris flea market renamed after Queen

Paris flea market renamed after Queen

Paris, France - The world famous Marché aux Puces has been renamed after Queen Elizabeth after Parisians compared her 70th D Day Commemoration outfit to a bit of thrift shop tat. This morning President Francois Hollande escorted the octogenarian m...
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Funny story: Obama to Quit Presidency to Follow His Dream

Obama to Quit Presidency to Follow His Dream

Washington, DC President Barack Obama announced today that he will be resigning the office of President of the United States "as soon as we can locate Vice-President Joe Biden." President Obama said that he would be vacating the Presidency in ord...
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Funny story: No Definite Answer to the Question "How many times have I told you kids?"

No Definite Answer to the Question "How many times have I told you kids?"

A 10 year research project which followed the lives of 100 families with children has shown that the answer to the question "how many times have I told you kids?" can vary widely. Lead researcher and mathematician Dr. Carl Fractal said he found th...
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Funny story: Vacancy For Independent King Of Scotland - Prince Charles Sends C.V. To Linkedin

Vacancy For Independent King Of Scotland - Prince Charles Sends C.V. To Linkedin

H.R.H. Prince Charles of Wales, tired of waiting to be a Welsh King has sent his LinkedIn C.V. to Alexei Salmon, who Charles thinks may soon be looking for a King if Scotland becomes free. The C.V. is known to point out that Charles, although not bl...
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Funny story: Local Man Cuts Styrofoam Plate With Plastic Fork

Local Man Cuts Styrofoam Plate With Plastic Fork

A local Springfield man inadvertently cut through his styrofoam plate with a plastic fork yesterday while eating at a church potluck supper. Monty Creosote was in the basement of the First Lutheran Church of Springfield eating during the church's...
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Funny story: Satire website 'conducted secret psychology experiment on users' emoticons' says report

Satire website 'conducted secret psychology experiment on users' emoticons' says report

Cyberspace, The Last Affrontiere - The satirical website Farcebook has been accused of conducting a huge secret psychological experiment on its users to see how they respond to cyber crap. Sixty million Farcebook users took part without any perso...
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Funny story: Movie Review: That New Movie With That Guy From That Other Movie, You Know The One, Was Good.

Movie Review: That New Movie With That Guy From That Other Movie, You Know The One, Was Good.

Some movies which are panned by critics nevertheless are highly successful due to word of mouth praises by people who've seen the movie. They tell their friends and family, who tell their friends, and so on, until the movie is a hit, despite those 'o...
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Funny story: NATO chief insists 'it was just a quickie' despite Minister's 'We Gave America A Blowjob' quip

NATO chief insists 'it was just a quickie' despite Minister's 'We Gave America A Blowjob' quip

Warsaw - The head of NATO said today a Polish foreign minister's fellatio rant about pleasuring America reminds him of a joke he'd read on the internet. Secretary General of the North Atlantic Trick-or-Treaty Organization Anders Fogh Rasmussen l...
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Funny story: Jersey Shore's "The Situation" Arrested for Fighting at Tanning Salon

Jersey Shore's "The Situation" Arrested for Fighting at Tanning Salon

Middletown, NJ - Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, who gained notoriety on MTV's classy show Jersey Shore, was arrested for fighting with his own brother at a local tanning salon that the pair own together. Apparently, the double douchebags cam...
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Funny story: Hope Solo, US Women's Soccer Goalie, Can't Stop Slapping Things Down

Hope Solo, US Women's Soccer Goalie, Can't Stop Slapping Things Down

Seattle - Hope Solo, the hot goalie and star of the Team USA Soccer team, is used to swatting things away. Everything from soccer balls to guys constantly hitting on her. But now it looks like the beauty might be taking her work home with her...
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Funny story: Bush and Blair should have nuked Fallujah says ex-First Earth Battalion's General Stubblebine

Bush and Blair should have nuked Fallujah says ex-First Earth Battalion's General Stubblebine

Fort Huachuca, Arizona - "Too damn busy minding their TV ratings," the Pentagon's former top psychic warfare specialist General Albert Stubblebine III told a specially convened meeting of the Military Intelligence Hall of Fame today. A Hall inaug...
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Funny story: Good, bad, and ugly elections via White House suds 'n duds laundry operations

Good, bad, and ugly elections via White House suds 'n duds laundry operations

Rumor has it that departed White House Press Secretary Jay Carney once compared the job now occupied by Josh Earnest to running a laundromat. Top quality detergent is essential to getting response to issues correct and clean. Recently a good el...
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Funny story: The Maliki must stay policy in Iraq no contradiction to the Assad must go policy in Syria

The Maliki must stay policy in Iraq no contradiction to the Assad must go policy in Syria

White House and State Department officials are claiming no contradictions in a rush to support Mr. Maliki as leader of Iraq. Maliki must definitely stay, according to everyone in Washington with a view on the matter, starting with not-yet-announce...
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Funny story: Those Not Being Held Captive Say Prisoner Deal Bad Idea; Soldier Should Have Fought His Way Out, Like Chuck Norris

Those Not Being Held Captive Say Prisoner Deal Bad Idea; Soldier Should Have Fought His Way Out, Like Chuck Norris

THE HORROR, THE HORROR, OHIO VALLEY -- Some area residents NOT BEING HELD CAPTIVE by The Taliban said the United States made a bad decision in arranging a prisoner exchange to free a U.S. soldier who WAS BEING HELD CAPTIVE by The Taliban. "He shou...
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Funny story: After Dismal Sales, Publisher Recommends Other Uses For Hillary Clinton Book

After Dismal Sales, Publisher Recommends Other Uses For Hillary Clinton Book

New York City - Publishing giant Simon & Schuster, desperate to find a way to turn a profit on Hillary Clinton's new book "Hard Choices", has come out with other possible uses for the book. The company hopes to entice some who don't intend to rea...
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Funny story: UN: "USA refugee figure passes 150 million for first time"

UN: "USA refugee figure passes 150 million for first time"

NEW YORK, NY - UN spokesperson, Lotta Boolsheet, issued a report today stating that the number of US citizens forced to leave their homes has exceeded 150 million for the first time since Jimmy Carter was president. 60 percent the USA's refugees a...
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Funny story: Dwyane Wade Complains About No-Call on Free Throw Attempts

Dwyane Wade Complains About No-Call on Free Throw Attempts

Following a devastating 104-87 loss to the San Antonio Spurs in Game 5 of the NBA Finals, Dwyane Wade and the Miami Heat pointed to a pivotal moment in the game that allowed the Spurs to hoist the Larry O'Brien trophy. Already trailing by double f...
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Funny story: Cheney Invites Putin to Go Hunting

Cheney Invites Putin to Go Hunting

Caspar, WY Former vice-president Dick Cheney has invited Russia leader Vladimir Putin to go duck hunting with him. "He was upset because no one in the country would go hunting with him after that unfortunate incident where that cretin got in fro...
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Funny story: Crude will rocket to $150 a barrel as Iranian 'peacekeepers' help Iraq

Crude will rocket to $150 a barrel as Iranian 'peacekeepers' help Iraq

Washington - Iran's Ayatollahs are offering to pour oil on troubled waters by sending a 100,000-strong pisskeeping farce to neighboring Iraq. A lot of Russian-sourced hardware like ground-to-air missal launchers and photon torpedoes are also thoug...
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Funny story: Cheney Calls Megyn Kelly and Fox News Terrorists

Cheney Calls Megyn Kelly and Fox News Terrorists

Washington, DCFormer U.S. Vice-President, Dick Cheney, recently appeared with his daughter Liz on the Megyn Kelly show on the Fox News Network. Until Ms. Kelly had the audacity to tell Cheney that he got it all wrong, he expected the questions to be...
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Funny story: Ancient Hemorrhoid Shaped Like Mary Draws Millions of Visitors to Thailand

Ancient Hemorrhoid Shaped Like Mary Draws Millions of Visitors to Thailand

The mummified anus of an elephant with a hemorrhoid shaped like the Virgin Mary is drawing thousands of foreign tourists to the National Museum in Bangkok Thailand. The little known display next to a large elephant bone was destined for anonymity...
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Funny story: Scotland Tells Obama That If They Get Freedom He Knows Where He Can Stick His Nuclear Arsenal

Scotland Tells Obama That If They Get Freedom He Knows Where He Can Stick His Nuclear Arsenal

Scotsmen can defend themselves if they gain their "Freedom" in the referendum and no nuclear weapons will be allowed to park in Lochs or they will be clamped or towed away, a famous Scotsman said this morning. The man, who is famous for being fe...
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Funny story: The curious case of Obama's blacked-up eyebrows

The curious case of Obama's blacked-up eyebrows

Washington - White House stylists have been accused of heavy-handed use of the cosmetic eyebrow pencil creating a glaring mismatch with the ever-greying Presidential thatch. Obama's thinning, greying curls have seen aides plead with the Prez to le...
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Funny story: Westboro Baptist Church Caught in Plot to Stone Ellen Degeneres

Westboro Baptist Church Caught in Plot to Stone Ellen Degeneres

Los Angeles, CA The Westboro Baptist Church, known to be haters of homosexuality to the point of desecrating U.S. veteran's funerals, were caught in a plot by police today. In the line forming outside the Ellen DeGeneres Show, dozens of members of...
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Funny story: Golden Gate Bridge "Suicide Net System" to Attract Acrobats From Around the Globe

Golden Gate Bridge "Suicide Net System" to Attract Acrobats From Around the Globe

San Francisco - The city council has approved spending tens of millions of dollars to construct a system of safety nets under the Golden Gate Bridge in an attempt to thwart future suicide attempts which have plagued the landmark for decades. T...
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Funny story: Astrologers hint California Chrome destined as also-ran in Saturday's Belmont Stakes

Astrologers hint California Chrome destined as also-ran in Saturday's Belmont Stakes

New York - Hold those bets mug punters everywhere, the Belmont Stakes ante-post market is rigged by deceptive stars that will blow up in your faces before the weekend is over. And blow a huge hole in your wallets if you take the measley odds that...
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Funny story: Cat-Pie Poster Infuriates Small Town

Cat-Pie Poster Infuriates Small Town

A "Cat-Pie For Sale" poster has angered the townspeople of Appledore, Kent as it has been positioned directly above a long-standing missing cat poster. The cat allegedly used to make the pie, describes the exact cat that went missing two weeks ago...
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Funny story: Susan Rice Thinks Militants Taking Over Iraq are Fighting With 'Honor and Distinction'

Susan Rice Thinks Militants Taking Over Iraq are Fighting With 'Honor and Distinction'

Baghdad - As Iraq falls into chaos, Sunday talk show queen Susan Rice applauded Izzat Ibrahim al-Douri and his militant army for taking over huge areas of territory in Syria and Iraq. "From what I've seen," Rice stated, "The militants have fo...
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Funny story: Top 10 excuses why the New York Rangers won't win the Stanley Cup

Top 10 excuses why the New York Rangers won't win the Stanley Cup

The New York Rangers weren't expected to earn a spot in this year's Stanley Cup Playoffs. But they surprised the experts by making it to the final round. Unfortunately, their opponent, the Los Angeles Kings, is playing up to expectations, and is abo...
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Funny story: "No More Women in The White House!" Say Republicans

"No More Women in The White House!" Say Republicans

Republicans today outlined several new planks in their 2016 Presidential Platform,designed to reassure conservatives. Number one is that no more women will be allowed to enter the White House, not even the First Lady. It will become a male only c...
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Funny story: "My Hard Drive Crashed" In as Most Used Excuse, "Dog Ate my Homework" Out

"My Hard Drive Crashed" In as Most Used Excuse, "Dog Ate my Homework" Out

Rio Linda, CA - People have excuses for everything. For years, kids have notoriously used the well-known excuse, "My dog ate my homework", when wanting to excuse why they didn't do their homework. Now, thanks to the IRS scandal, "My hard drive cra...
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Funny story: All prisons in Europe may close

All prisons in Europe may close

A convicted criminal has made an astonishing complaint to the European Court of Human Rights, on the grounds that being in prison infringes his basic human rights. Barry Knuckles, a lifelong petty crook and infamous thug, was jailed for the attemp...
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Funny story: Friday the 13th Full Moon roller coaster countdown for beleaguered NewsCorpse chief

Friday the 13th Full Moon roller coaster countdown for beleaguered NewsCorpse chief

New York - The last time a full moon occurred on Friday the 13th, in October 2000, Rupert Murdoch was sitting pretty in his NYC NewsCorpse HQ confidently predicting Al 'Weird Al' Gore was just daze away from being elected the next President of the U...
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Funny story: "Illuminati Too Disrespectful" Says President Obama

"Illuminati Too Disrespectful" Says President Obama

ST. PAUL, MN - At a Minnesota Town Hall meeting, President Obama spent the afternoon telling everyone how unfair it was for people to blame him in "phony scandals." Although some had been led to believe there would be discussion of local issues,...
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Funny story: CNN Knows What Happened to Missing Emails From Lois Lerner

CNN Knows What Happened to Missing Emails From Lois Lerner

Atlanta - CNN president, Jeff Zucker, has leaked information that shows the network is aware of what happened to two years of missing emails between embattled IRS operative, Lois Lerner, and various people in government, including the White House...
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Funny story: Gibraltar's football successes an inspiration to struggling Spain

Gibraltar's football successes an inspiration to struggling Spain

T.V. coverage of British football, increasingly popular in the U.S has had a surprise boost with a request from the Spanish National Football Manager to hire Gordon Strachan in the capacity of damage limitation consultant after the Spanish team were...
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Funny story: "Software Dementia" Now Recognized By American Psychiatric Association

"Software Dementia" Now Recognized By American Psychiatric Association

Arlington, VA - The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has officially recognized "Software Dementia" as a legitimate mental illness and, as such, recommends the condition be covered by health insurance providers and be included under the American...
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Funny story: Elvis Found Spotted at World Cup

Elvis Found Spotted at World Cup

Elvis Presley has been spotted in a Rio Duncan donut shop this week. Though in his 70s now his sheer enormity seemed to awe the locals as he polished off 20 long johns and 2 dozen yeast donuts while hardly blinking an eye. He seemed in an open re...
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Funny story: Popeye The Sailorman Admits Using G.M. Spinach to Build Muscle

Popeye The Sailorman Admits Using G.M. Spinach to Build Muscle

In a surprising revelation to Piers Morgan on his Detroit radio station, Popeye told Piers that he had used illegal spinach in his cartoon shows. Recent research by the Department of Vegetables has shown that a can of spinach has the nutritional...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - The Island is shrinking!

Isle of Wight News - The Island is shrinking!

A recent geological survey of the Isle of Wight has come to the worrying conclusion that the island is shrinking at a rate of two millimetres per year. The first survey on the actual size of the island in 1952 revealed it to have an area of 380.56...
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Funny story: Queen throws lavish homecoming bash for England football team

Queen throws lavish homecoming bash for England football team

London - Football's coming home alright with the announcement that newly knighted Sir Roy Hodgson of Pratts Bottom and his victory team are to be treated to a fab Palace garden party to mark their historic World Cup win (WTF? 'Ed'). Sunday's no ex...
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Funny story: Wiccan fury at Islamofascists' Isis slur

Wiccan fury at Islamofascists' Isis slur

Los Angeles, California - The World Council of Wicca has issued a 20-kiloton hex against a ragbag of Islamofascist thugs who have highjacked the name of the Mother of Creation for their vile Iraqi insurgency antics. This morning's statement from W...
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Funny story: SWAT Raids Lawn Dart Tournament, Gun Rally Participants Relieved

SWAT Raids Lawn Dart Tournament, Gun Rally Participants Relieved

It was a sunny afternoon of family fun, barbecues and lawn darts in Auburn, Washington. The Cascadian Lawn Darts Association was hosting a local tournament between the Renton Renegades and the Auburn Avengers. Sharing the the park was also local gun...
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Funny story: American Football Seeks to Learn from Soccer

American Football Seeks to Learn from Soccer

As the World Cup begins in Brazil, violent protests have spread far and wide across the nation. News and images of clashes have shocked the world but mostly in the US where the sport labeled as 'football' rarely sees such displays of affection. Ma...
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Funny story: Feds Open No-Kill Shelter for Immigrants on Texas/Mexico Border

Feds Open No-Kill Shelter for Immigrants on Texas/Mexico Border

Laredo, TX - The federal government has opened a new no-kill shelter in this border town to help find homes for thousands of new illegal immigrants who continue flooding into the country. In the past, if an illegal alien sneaked across our border...
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Funny story: 'Damn Right Better Not Argue With Women' as ex-Mrs Putin slags off Vlad

'Damn Right Better Not Argue With Women' as ex-Mrs Putin slags off Vlad

Paris - Thirty something years of wedlock to Vladimir has taught Lyudmilla Putin a thing or two about Russian men under five foot six her PR said today. "He likes to think he wears the pants," the lovely former Mrs P tweeted as she posted pics of...
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Funny story: Tony "You know, George, whatever you decide to do, I'm with you" Blair confesses childhood snorting trauma led to prophetical powers

Tony "You know, George, whatever you decide to do, I'm with you" Blair confesses childhood snorting trauma led to prophetical powers

Just today Mr. Blair's office has released further background on his current essay "We didn't cause the crisis," and the 03 decision to attack Iraq as partner with George W. Bush. Apparently during childhood Mr. Blair had a formative experience wh...
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Funny story: CIA/NSA to 'automate' the 2016 Presidential Election

CIA/NSA to 'automate' the 2016 Presidential Election

Vapor Lock, Virginia - The US government can expect a 100% voter turnout for the 2016 Presidential Election. The reason: Democracy is going digital. America's two surveillance powerhouses - the Central Intelligence Agency and the Nationa...
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Funny story: Obama snubs Putin at Club Mephistopheles but no duel yet

Obama snubs Putin at Club Mephistopheles but no duel yet

As the world well knows, Mr. Obama has been so annoyed with the President of Russia that Mr. Hollande was forced to host separate dinners. However, both these leaders are fond of Club Mephistopheles, a night club with branches in all major cities,...
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Funny story: Interconnecting Two Words Finally Illegal

Interconnecting Two Words Finally Illegal

The career of Nicole Scherzinger might soon be over as the merging of two words together to make just one has now been made universally illegal. People creating words such as 'fabtastic', 'amazeballs' or ''grimp' (talented gimp) has led to governm...
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Funny story: Facists P.C. Police Force More NFL Teams to Change Names

Facists P.C. Police Force More NFL Teams to Change Names

After the Washington Redskins were forced to change their name, since it was deemed offensive by those who have nothing better to do than look for an excuse to be offended; now the precedent has been set for the entire NFL to be under attack. Jere...
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