There were 337 spoof news stories published in July 2014. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Roman Abramovich and Shah of Persia's heir presumptive forced to walk as cops bust chauffeurs in unlicensed taxi crackdown

Roman Abramovich and Shah of Persia's heir presumptive forced to walk as cops bust chauffeurs in unlicensed taxi crackdown

New York - Russian mobster Roman Abramovich and Persian royal wannabe Reza Pahlavi are among dozens of foreign VIPs ousted from their respective armor plated SUVs this week and made to walk in a NYPD crackdown on unlicensed taxi drivers. Adding i...
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Funny story: British PM to freeze the nuts off Roman Abramovich's assets as anti-Putin sanctions start to bite

British PM to freeze the nuts off Roman Abramovich's assets as anti-Putin sanctions start to bite

London - An anti-Putin groundswell is threatening to explode into the murky world of oligarch assets like Roman Abramovich's London gold vaults. On Monday British Prime Minister David Cameron will sign an order for Diplomatic Protection Racket cop...
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Funny story: Grief, Sadness and Then Anger At Tragic Loss of Live Overwhelms Social Media

Grief, Sadness and Then Anger At Tragic Loss of Live Overwhelms Social Media

Social media was a buzz with outpourings of immense grief, a sense of universal loss and then feelings of anger; after it was announced actor James Garner, whose whimsical style in the 1950s TV Western "Maverick" led to a stellar career in TV and fil...
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Funny story: Tough Guy Orlando Bloom Scares The Shit Out Of Tinsel Town

Tough Guy Orlando Bloom Scares The Shit Out Of Tinsel Town

Born on the mean streets of Canterbury, British tough guy - actor Orlando Bloom - knows a thing or two about violence. Raised by a pair of hippies, Bloom was well known for his fighting skills - he was after all the leader of the Canterbury Cunts -...
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Funny story: Jürgen Klinsmann Refused Re-entry Into United States

Jürgen Klinsmann Refused Re-entry Into United States

US Soccer coach, German born Jürgen Klinsmann has been denied entry back into the United States after immigration officers held him for 8 hours for questioning before deporting him back to Germany. Klinsmann, 49, who was born in Göppingen, West Ge...
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Funny story: JK Rowling Plans Crime Spree

JK Rowling Plans Crime Spree

JK Rowling, whose crime novels written under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith will eventually outnumber her Harry Potter books, has announced that she is planning a crime spree. Our informant "Mick", who generally hangs out at the bus station rubb...
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Funny story: World Cup souvenir lets fans control time

World Cup souvenir lets fans control time

Zürich, Switzerland - Busy soccer fans can now extend their hectic days with a new World Cup innovation from FIFA. Called My Time™, the futbol souvenir puts the power of soccer scheduling into the hands of ordinary spectators. Delivered wit...
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Funny story: Obama Joins Everyone Else In Blaming Obama For Everything

Obama Joins Everyone Else In Blaming Obama For Everything

"I blame President Obama for this," said an angry President Obama as traffic snarled on the I-95 just south of D.C. Honking his horn and cursing at other road users the angry President shook his head, "This is his fault, this traffic jam - and this s...
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Funny story: Good Samaritan Is Actually A Total Prick

Good Samaritan Is Actually A Total Prick

A good Samaritan, who helped an old lady across a busy street in Fort Lauderdale, has been revealed to be a total and utter 'cunt' by family members, and not the caring passer-by who helps old people. "When I read about this 'Good Samaritan', who...
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Funny story: Leeds Players Refuse To Move To Leeds

Leeds Players Refuse To Move To Leeds

The entire Leeds United Squad has been transfer listed after they collectively refused to follow new owner Massimo Cellino's request of moving to Leeds. The plan was for the players to become a close-knit squad, capable of obtaining an ever elusiv...
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Funny story: US Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan's Anti-Drug Mantra "Just Say No" To Solve Child Immigrant Problem.

US Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan's Anti-Drug Mantra "Just Say No" To Solve Child Immigrant Problem.

The head of the U.S. Border Patrol, James Bratcatcher, highly stressed from dealing with the sudden influx of children and young mothers with children from Latin America, has claimed that a solution to the international problem came to him in a dream...
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Funny story: Game Of Thrones Producer Determined To Feature Every British Actor With A Pulse Sooner Or Later

Game Of Thrones Producer Determined To Feature Every British Actor With A Pulse Sooner Or Later

Game of Thrones producers have announced that they are close to accomplishing what no other TV show has done before; cast, in some form or another - every actor born in the UK. Already having featured every British thespian born in Scotland, North...
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Funny story: Dawn of The Planet Of The Apes Disappointment - Man Threatens To Sue

Dawn of The Planet Of The Apes Disappointment - Man Threatens To Sue

A Tybee Island man is threatening to sue 20th Century Fox for misrepresentation after watching the sequel to the 2011 film Rise of the Planet of the Apes; Dawn of The Planet Apes. Scott Parker, 34, has filed suit claiming that after viewing the mo...
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Funny story: Bloomberg packed a parachute on his Tel Aviv flight

Bloomberg packed a parachute on his Tel Aviv flight

New York - Former mayor Michael Bloomberg personally demonstrated the safety of flying commercial jets to Tel Aviv recently, with a well executed publicity stunt in which he down played the threat of terrorist rockets that have been raining down on t...
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Funny story: USA Fury As Prince Harry of England Scores In Extra Time

USA Fury As Prince Harry of England Scores In Extra Time

American soccer fans are furious after being knocked out of the World Cup thanks to a goal from third in line to the British throne, Prince Harry. Despite the scoreboard showing the goal, scored in the seventh minute of extra time, being credited...
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Funny story: Former NY Mayor Bloomberg, Michelle Obama Fight Release of Upcoming Movie, 'The Splurge'

Former NY Mayor Bloomberg, Michelle Obama Fight Release of Upcoming Movie, 'The Splurge'

New York City - Warner Bros. studio has announced plans to make a new movie called 'The Splurge' after the success of 'The Purge' films. But not everyone is happy about the idea. 'The Splurge' is about a 12-hour period one night each year when...
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Funny story: Jerry Springer Nearly Dies and Goes to Hell; Rumble Ensues

Jerry Springer Nearly Dies and Goes to Hell; Rumble Ensues

HELL---Longtime tabloid talk show host Jerry Springer was pronounced dead from a gorilla attack on Friday, soon after beginning his Final Thought segment at the end of the show, but was eventually revived by EMTs at the scene. Friday's show, which...
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Funny story: Think INSIDE the Box, An Expert Advises

Think INSIDE the Box, An Expert Advises

As Bob Dylan croons, "The Times They Are A-Changin'." For years, experts had advised thinking OUTSIDE the box. Be different and unconventional, we were told. Look in areas where no one else is looking. Find unique solutions. The problem is -- everyone who is anyone began thinking OUTSIDE the box. It's become too crowded out there. Thinking OUTSIDE the box has become the conventional,...
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Funny story: Obama Dumps Two Bus Loads of Illegal Kids on Palin's Driveway

Obama Dumps Two Bus Loads of Illegal Kids on Palin's Driveway

It was anything but a normal morning at Todd and Sarah Palin's Wasilla Alaska home. "I thought it was the garbage truck" said a befuddled Todd Palin "Then we heard all of these people outside, I thought it was just some fans, but then I looked out t...
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Funny story: De Blasio meets the Godfather; outsources NYPD to the Mob

De Blasio meets the Godfather; outsources NYPD to the Mob

Rome - Snubbed by The Holy Father, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio had a private audience with The Godfather on the first day of his Italian vacation. The meeting paid off immediately, with the mob boss agreeing to take over the operation of the New Yo...
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Funny story: Obama the worst president since World War III

Obama the worst president since World War III

Washington - A poll commissioned ahead of Independence Day has voted Barack Obama as America's worst ever president since George W Bush started the Arab World War III. Second worst was Dubya himself followed closely by George Bush Senior, Preside...
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Funny story: GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle

GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle

Detroit - Rabbits' feet have proven to be unlucky for what used to be the world's largest car maker. The key chain charms have been fingered by General Motors engineers as the cause for sudden ignition shutdown that could affect millions of vehicles.
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Funny story: Massive Mexican red rump tarantula on the run in NYC: reported sighting at Kerry Kennedy condo

Massive Mexican red rump tarantula on the run in NYC: reported sighting at Kerry Kennedy condo

New York - A mean-looking pregnant giant Mexican red rump tarantula, Brachypelma vagans, on the loose in Park Slope, NYC, has been reported scurrying close to the human frights lawyer's home. This morning CCTV cameras picked up strange arachnid m...
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Funny story: Putin Tired of Disengaged Obama, Threatens to Bomb US Golf Courses

Putin Tired of Disengaged Obama, Threatens to Bomb US Golf Courses

Moscow - Russian President Putin has become bored with not having a worthy adversary on the foreign policy landscape due to President Obama's lack of interest in world affairs. The Russian leader always welcomes a challenge and believes having a...
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Funny story: Michael Douglas cancer advice rejected by JP Morgan boss

Michael Douglas cancer advice rejected by JP Morgan boss

New York - The Oscar-winning producer of One Blue Over The Cuckoo's Nest famously blamed his now-cured throat cancer on a bout of dodgy oral sex in a 'tasteless' quip that wife Catherine Zeta Jones said had left her feeling uncomfortable and down in...
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Funny story: Pres. Obama Goes Strong to Hoop on Border Security, Issues New # Campaign

Pres. Obama Goes Strong to Hoop on Border Security, Issues New # Campaign

Texas - In a move to signal to the nation how serious he is on solving the border crisis in Texas, President Obama launched a new Twitter campaign aimed at forcing the hordes of illegal immigrants trying to come into our country to instantly lose...
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Funny story: Susan Rice Sent to Russia to Assist Putin in Cover-Up of Malaysian Airline Disaster

Susan Rice Sent to Russia to Assist Putin in Cover-Up of Malaysian Airline Disaster

Washington D.C. - Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice, has been dispatched to Russia by President Obama to assist President Putin in his cover-up attempt to hide the damage his soldiers did when they murdered nearly 300 innocent people a...
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Funny story: For First Time, Hard Drive Crashes Surpasses Car Crashes in Washington DC

For First Time, Hard Drive Crashes Surpasses Car Crashes in Washington DC

Washington D.C. - An epidemic of hard drive crashes is sweeping this city and, for the first time in history, the number has exceeded the total number of car crashes that have occurred within the city limits since 2011. It is truly uncanny how man...
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Funny story: Muslim Brotherhood Makes Strongest Threats to Western Nations Yet

Muslim Brotherhood Makes Strongest Threats to Western Nations Yet

Egypt - Leaders of the Muslim Brotherhood and members of ISIS have made their strongest and most hard-hitting threats so far toward the United States in their bid to thwart US intervention into affairs in the Middle East. The Brotherhood has h...
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Funny story: 67% of all happy Facebook updates posted by people with miserable lives, study

67% of all happy Facebook updates posted by people with miserable lives, study

HARFOLD, Vt. - A study released this week by Harfold State College indicates that at least two out of every three happy Facebook status updates are posted by pathetic sons-of-bitches with miserable lives. Junior Bertrand Russell produced his Faceb...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama Vows to Defend Her School Lunch Program "Til the Bitter End"

Michelle Obama Vows to Defend Her School Lunch Program "Til the Bitter End"

Minneapolis - While it's not exactly a "Remember the Alamo!" battle cry, First Lady Michelle Obama is screeching that she will defend her signature school lunch program 'til the bitter end.' Ironically, this is how a majority of Americans view...
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Funny story: Dollar Counterfeiter Jailed for Life

Dollar Counterfeiter Jailed for Life

Gotfried Right was today jailed for life at a ground-breaking trial in the Superior Court of San Francisco. Gotfried, a professor of graphic design at the Academy of Art had set up a printing press in his garage and proceeded to print what the prosec...
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Funny story: Angry Liberals Vow to Open New Chain of Stores Called 'Snobby Lobby'

Angry Liberals Vow to Open New Chain of Stores Called 'Snobby Lobby'

Boston - Liberals are seething over the Supreme Court decision which allows Hobby Lobby to not have to offer certain birth control products which they believe induce abortions and which violate their religious beliefs. Hateful people took to t...
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Funny story: Nebraska First State to Prohibit Texting While in an Accident

Nebraska First State to Prohibit Texting While in an Accident

The state of Nebraska has passed strict regulations prohibiting texting while in a car accident. They have added the clause describing any such accident as "fatal or not," adding what they consider to be "real strength" to the law. A spokespers...
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Funny story: Prince Phillip's Hands Stuck Behind His Back For 3 Hours In Derrek Brown Stunt

Prince Phillip's Hands Stuck Behind His Back For 3 Hours In Derrek Brown Stunt

A Royal Performance by a mixture of Variety and Illusionist acts to mark Prince Phillip's Lifetime Award for not doing very much was topped by a spectacular hypnotic trick by Derrek Brown. Prince Phillip was convinced by Brown that his hands were...
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Funny story: Rock hits Netanyahu limo he calls in air strikes and tanks

Rock hits Netanyahu limo he calls in air strikes and tanks

The office of Prime Minister Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu has explained obliteration of four twelve year old Palestinian boys yesterday was due to a likely connection to Hamas rockets buried nearby. According to witnesses the boys were playing near t...
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Funny story: Obama Finally Approves Keystone Pipeline - To Funnel Illegals to Canada!

Obama Finally Approves Keystone Pipeline - To Funnel Illegals to Canada!

Washington D.C. - President Obama thinks he hit a home run today with his solution to the ever-looming Keystone Pipeline project that has been haunting him for several years now. The president has decided to have the pipeline constructed and use i...
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Funny story: Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

The Nutrirocket food extractor is the latest, most scientifically-proven way to extend one's painful, lost existence indefinitely. Thanks to the most innovative in 21st century euphemisms, we have magically turned a 40 dollar blender into a $120.00 (...
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Funny story: New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment

New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment

Breaking research from the public interest group Consumers Committee for Responsible Consumption (CCRC) shows that the blood of newborn babies, long-touted for its high iron content and other supposed health benefits, is actually detrimental not only...
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Funny story: Obama Allowing White House to Deteriorate; Gets Ticket for Blight

Obama Allowing White House to Deteriorate; Gets Ticket for Blight

Washington, DC Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner admitted calling the police on President Obama due to what he said was "terrible blight" conditions at the White House. "Obama has let the grass get knee-high, with a couple of junk cars...
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Funny story: Detroit Tigers Infielder Suffers "Cash" Injury

Detroit Tigers Infielder Suffers "Cash" Injury

Wilfred "Willie" Makett, star shortstop and fan favorite of the Detroit Tigers broke his right leg last night in a freak accident at his home during the All-Star break and will be sidelined for the balance of the season. He told hospital personnel th...
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Funny story: Putting Rosie O'Donnell Back on 'The View' Bad Idea, Like Putting Hillary Back in White House

Putting Rosie O'Donnell Back on 'The View' Bad Idea, Like Putting Hillary Back in White House

New York City - Saturday Night Live had their skit for 'Bad Idea Jeans.' Some ideas, even if they worked okay the first time, are just bad ideas the second time around. The latest example of this skewed thinking is the return of Rosie O'Donnel...
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Funny story: Supreme court decision money speaks with first amendment rights and personhood affects whistleblowers

Supreme court decision money speaks with first amendment rights and personhood affects whistleblowers

Today's Supreme Court decision, that money (as with "money speaks") is entitled to first amendment protection and the rights of personhood, has again been hailed with the word "freeeedomm!" on conservative twitter sites. This new "money speaks" de...
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Funny story: Ancient biblical ambergris litters site of Jonah's Tomb destruction

Ancient biblical ambergris litters site of Jonah's Tomb destruction

Mosul, Iraq - The wanton bombing of a Mosul mosque today saw much of the Iraqi city spattered with nearly half a ton of fossilised biliary secretion from the guts of an Old Testament sperm whale that did for the prophet Jonah. The seer was buried...
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Funny story: Caliph of new Islamic State of Humbuggia opens US embassy, sends Tony Blair as peace envoy

Caliph of new Islamic State of Humbuggia opens US embassy, sends Tony Blair as peace envoy

Washington DC - Located in a damp and ugly 200 sq ft teardown behind Bladensburg Metrobus garage at 2251 26th Street NE the new legation's HQ aint's exactly swish by international diplomatic standards. But hey, it's about to get a fab five hundre...
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Funny story: First Lady Wants to Hire Nuns to Discipline Unhealthy Shoppers

First Lady Wants to Hire Nuns to Discipline Unhealthy Shoppers

San Francisco - First Lady Michelle Obama has unveiled her latest plans for getting the nation to adopt her healthy eating guidelines and this one might hurt a bit. After tackling the country's school lunch program and transforming it into a train...
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Funny story: Suicide Donkey Explodes in Hamas Terror Plot, Hundreds Get Free Piece of Ass

Suicide Donkey Explodes in Hamas Terror Plot, Hundreds Get Free Piece of Ass

Gaza - Ok, so the title of this article is the only remotely funny part of this story and is really just to get your attention. This latest attempt to kill innocents in the Middle East by using animals as a way to get bombs close to crowds in...
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Funny story: Michael Moore, Hillary Clinton Both Check Into Wealth Rehab Facility

Michael Moore, Hillary Clinton Both Check Into Wealth Rehab Facility

Malibu, CA - Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you seek out professional help. Such is the case with two well-known people in recent weeks. Michael Moore and Hillary Clinton have both checked themselves into a Wealth Rehab clinic after...
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Funny story: Iranian World Cup Squad given their country's highest honor

Iranian World Cup Squad given their country's highest honor

With the Football world cup winding down, there has been a number of different reactions to teams as they head back to their respective countries. One team that was especially nervous before the world cup was Iran. They failed to win a single...
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Funny story: Drunken Germans Celebrate World Cup Win By Invading Poland

Drunken Germans Celebrate World Cup Win By Invading Poland

HOFBRAUHAUS, MUNICH -- Germany continued its World Cup championship celebration Monday, as its highly intoxicated and blindly aggressive government ordered troops to invade Poland. "After a few dozen steins of Augustiner Maximator, we got a little...
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Funny story: Virgin Mary Statue Smokes Marijuana

Virgin Mary Statue Smokes Marijuana

Philadelphia, PA-- A six-foot tall statue of the Virgin Mary inside a local church has been doing something strange. Parishers at the church of Our Lady Of Hysterical Weeping say the statue has begun smoking marijuana. The statue begins exhaling sm...
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Funny story: Blame Russia and Putin (BRAP) Day to become annual rite and special holiday like July 4

Blame Russia and Putin (BRAP) Day to become annual rite and special holiday like July 4

A new movement for a special day of celebration is popular with the President, backed by Senator McCain, with enthusiasm showing in the mainstream press. The Blame Russia and Putin Day, or BRAP Day, is gathering steam. A summer day, probably in...
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Funny story: Pope tells Russian Orthodox Patriarch he's going to hell over Malaysian aircraft outrage

Pope tells Russian Orthodox Patriarch he's going to hell over Malaysian aircraft outrage

Rome - And what's more he's cancelling his Holy Moscow Muff Chicks subscription, essential pontifical reading ahead of a merger with the Russian Orthodox Church. The protest also sees Frankie the Argie boycott Russian vodka, cocaine and caviar cu...
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Funny story: Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Iowa City - A doctoral student at The University of Iowa has uncovered a startling number of falsified resumes within the fast food industry. Ichabod Alchemy was working on his thesis which is a study of underlying economic trends that affect the...
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Funny story: Goodell: Red Bull More Integrity-Damaging Than Smacking A Mouthy Broad

Goodell: Red Bull More Integrity-Damaging Than Smacking A Mouthy Broad

MANHATTAN -- NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has announced that he will no longer penalize players for domestic violence, noting that consuming large doses of performance-enhancing Red Bull tarnishes the integrity of the game much more than smacking a...
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Funny story: NewsCorpse 'Fake Sheikh' appointed head of Mossad PR

NewsCorpse 'Fake Sheikh' appointed head of Mossad PR

Tel Aviv - A professional confidence trickster specialising in celebrity stings has been hired by the Israeli secret service ahead of all out war on Hamas. Mazher Mahmood, former Murdoch investigative reporter (sic) and suspected serial perjurer...
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Funny story: A Golden Treasury of Kennedy Family Mattress Stains Published

A Golden Treasury of Kennedy Family Mattress Stains Published

New York - Decades of off piste shagging have brought Robert F Kennedy Jr to his carpet-burnt knees. Cited as a co-respondent in a former squeeze's divorce case RFK's cell phone directory of cheap and tacky hos was being touted as exhibit one in N...
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Funny story: 'Some ass radicalised him' as suicide donkey wreaks Gaza havoc

'Some ass radicalised him' as suicide donkey wreaks Gaza havoc

Palestine - Mossad is hunting a gang of radicalised drug mules that strapped a bomb belt onto a three year-old donkey that blew up in the Rafah area of the Gaza Strip today. Israeli bomb squad farces said they used a frozen lollipop to lure the b...
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Funny story: Bridge Collapses, Drowning 22 Tea Party Activists

Bridge Collapses, Drowning 22 Tea Party Activists

HUNTINGTON, WV--The Robert C. Byrd Bridge, a bridge spanning the Ohio River between Chesapeake, OH and Huntington, WV, collapsed on Thursday, killing twenty-two members of the Tea Party Movement. The Tea Party activists were reportedly on their way...
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Funny story: Anti Abortion Activists Express Outrage Over Aborted Landing At Barcelona Airport

Anti Abortion Activists Express Outrage Over Aborted Landing At Barcelona Airport

Washington D.C. - The Susan B. Anthony List (SBA List), an organization whose stated purpose is "Advancing Pro-Life Leadership", has released a strongly-worded statement condemning the recent aborted landing by a 767 jetliner at Barcelona's El Prat A...
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Funny story: Joran van der Sloot Marries Next Victim in Prison

Joran van der Sloot Marries Next Victim in Prison

Lima, Peru - In what promises to be a future Disney love-story movie, murderer and all around bad guy Joran van der Sloot married a psychotic chick this week in prison, where he met and impregnated the brainless female. Van der Sloot, who gained n...
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Funny story: Don't Do Stupid Sh*t party steps forward to challenge duopoly

Don't Do Stupid Sh*t party steps forward to challenge duopoly

The new DDSS party, inspired direct from President Obama's name for his foreign policy, the "Don't Do Stupid Sh*t" policy, is set for a two year run to take the Presidency. It emphasizes program, not personality. A founding principle begins: "We h...
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Funny story: Obama calls on Hillary for support with review of don't do stupid sh*t policy to traveling press corps aboard Air Force One

Obama calls on Hillary for support with review of don't do stupid sh*t policy to traveling press corps aboard Air Force One

President Obama is once again aboard Air Force One giving the traveling press corps updates on his DDSS (don't do stupid sh*t) foreign policy. The world well remembers the formulation of this policy, aboard his jet, on the President's trip to Asia...
View 'Obama calls on Hillary for support with review of don't do stupid sh*t policy to traveling press corps aboard Air Force One'
Funny story: Crop circle circumcises Cerne Abbas Giant's dick

Crop circle circumcises Cerne Abbas Giant's dick

Cerne Abbas, Dorset - A crop circle has been blamed for emasculating the huge erect penis of a 180ft ancient Neolithic colossus known as the Cerne Abbas Dick. Uh, Giant. Carved into a Dorset chalk hillock over 10,000 years ago the club-wielding f...
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Funny story: Pregnancy rumors as Serena Williams pulls out early

Pregnancy rumors as Serena Williams pulls out early

Wimbledon, London - World number one seed Serena Williams is up the duff if Wimbledon tournament rumors are to be believed. A 3-0 game of double faults saw the winner of 32 Majors pull out early citing women's problems and a 'lack of balls'. U...
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Funny story: Illegal Immigrants Admit They Came to U.S. for Glenn Beck's Free Soccer Balls

Illegal Immigrants Admit They Came to U.S. for Glenn Beck's Free Soccer Balls

McAllen, TX - A Honduran woman accidentally let the cat out of the bag yesterday when she unwittingly explained to a reporter the real reason she and tens of thousands of her fellow Latin American citizens travelled thousands of miles was for the...
View 'Illegal Immigrants Admit They Came to U.S. for Glenn Beck's Free Soccer Balls'
Funny story: Prime Minister Netanyahu Goes Fundraising Amid Country in Turmoil

Prime Minister Netanyahu Goes Fundraising Amid Country in Turmoil

Tel Aviv - With his country deep in the midst of major crises and problems which demand his attention, including the current war with Hamas, Prime Minister Netanyahu headed out today for a quick cash-and-grab fundraising trip. The Prime Minist...
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Funny story: End Of World Cult Family Get On Wrong Spaceship

End Of World Cult Family Get On Wrong Spaceship

Four members of a doomsday cult, calling themselves Scientopolists and followers of Ronnette L. "Old Mother" Hubbard have been taken away by a spacecraft with huge colored lights making strange "Close Encounter" type musical notes, from Area 51 nea...
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Funny story: MSNBC's Chris Matthews Volunteers as Tribute for Any Obama Impeachment

MSNBC's Chris Matthews Volunteers as Tribute for Any Obama Impeachment

New York City - As the "I" word starts to gain traction in the national media for President Obama, Chris Matthews broke down on air today and offered himself up as tribute as a preemptive hit against any possible future impeachment attempts towar...
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Funny story: Tree Wonders If Anyone Heard It Fall

Tree Wonders If Anyone Heard It Fall

Middle Of Nowhere, Montana - Doug Fir, a 200-year-old coniferous evergreen, took a tumble last week while enjoying his afternoon of standing in the same spot he'd been in his whole life thus far and swaying in the breeze. "The wind all of a sudde...
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Funny story: The Devil Pussy invades!

The Devil Pussy invades!

An elderly couple recently told how they were terrorised in their own home for three days by a cat! Royston Munt needed hospital treatment after being attacked by the intruder, which got in through a bedroom window. Retired taxidermist and WW2...
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Funny story: Statue of Liberty to be replaced with new structure that looks like a New York police officer

Statue of Liberty to be replaced with new structure that looks like a New York police officer

Spearheaded by Senator John McCain, a new bipartisan movement inside the Congress is working toward tearing down and replacing the Statue of Liberty. So far no one in the government has raised any objections, with the President himself saying, "We...
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Funny story: CNN Poll: Obama Would Lose To Jefferson Davis

CNN Poll: Obama Would Lose To Jefferson Davis

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Obama is losing favor with Americans at such an alarming rate, that if they could do the 2012 election all over again, they'd overwhelming back the former president of the Confederate States of America, Jefferson Davis.
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Funny story: Women Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed

Women Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed

A Fox & Friends segment on Monday warned women looking to succeed in business "not to raise their voices" and not to talk too much. Fox News host Steve Doocy introduced Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of "Executive Presence." She suggested that w...
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Funny story: Rescue drama as tidal surge of algal bloom swamps Starbucks CEO's Hamptons beachfront

Rescue drama as tidal surge of algal bloom swamps Starbucks CEO's Hamptons beachfront

Long Island, NY - Long Island Pest Control lifeboats were out in force this weekend when a red tide of algal bloom slimed the beach at Howard Schultz's Gracie Lane teardown bringing phytoplanktonic chaos (WTF dat? - 'Ed') to the East Hampton spread.
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Funny story: Mylie Cyrus Cancels Gaza Strip Tour

Mylie Cyrus Cancels Gaza Strip Tour

Pop Slut Superstar Mylie Cyrus posted on her Facebook page today that she is cancelling her upcoming Gaza Strip concert tour due to the escalating "war and stuff" in the region. "I know my fans in Gaza will be really heartbroken that I'm not comin...
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Funny story: After Suffering Exhaustion From Signing Executive Orders, President Needs Vacation

After Suffering Exhaustion From Signing Executive Orders, President Needs Vacation

Washington D.C. - Next month, after a grueling schedule of signing executive orders, President Obama and his family will take a two week vacation to the dilapidated ruins of Martha's Vineyard, Mass., for some much needed rest. The president's...
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Funny story: Two Artists to Record New "We Are the World" Song for Border Immigrants

Two Artists to Record New "We Are the World" Song for Border Immigrants

Los Angeles - It has been announced that Prince and Bono will team up to record a follow-up to the 1980's anthem "We Are the World" to raise public awareness about the latest immigration crisis along our southern border. Many other artists wer...
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Funny story: NRA Endorses "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program"

NRA Endorses "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program"

The NRA and GOP have finally found a free school lunch program that they feel comfortable endorsing. The "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program" is a pilot program in selected rural areas that teaches firearm safety, hunting, trapping and self sufficien...
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Funny story: Scummy Pubs To Hire Doorman

Scummy Pubs To Hire Doorman

Under a new Tory law, pubs that predominantly cater for the unemployed have to employ a thin, disheveled middle-aged man to smoke at the front door to ensure no upstanding citizens accidentally go in for a pint. The law, entitled 'fag means f**k o...
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Funny story: Fart smellers may be smart fellas after all: smelling farts can reduce disease, study

Fart smellers may be smart fellas after all: smelling farts can reduce disease, study

HARFOLD, Vt - A new study at Harfold State College suggests that exposure to hydrogen sulfide gas, that is, what your body produces as bacteria breaks down food, could prevent mitochondria damage. This is good news for the Miss Harfold Diner which...
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Funny story: A game of two Popes as Frankie the Argie and Benedict the Kraut post hexes for Sunday's World Cup final

A game of two Popes as Frankie the Argie and Benedict the Kraut post hexes for Sunday's World Cup final

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - The new Vatican hex-messaging service has kicked into action with Pope Francis and Pope Benedict both tweeting like crazy about their influence with 'Him Upstairs'. Online oddsmakers Aintgottaprayer.con has responded acco...
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Funny story: "God's Not Dead; He's Just Incompetent," with Kevin Sorbo, to Hit the Theaters Next Week

"God's Not Dead; He's Just Incompetent," with Kevin Sorbo, to Hit the Theaters Next Week

HOLLYWOOD--The sequel to "God's Not Dead" will hit the theaters next week, and the much-anticipated sequel is, like the first movie, expected to fill theaters with evangelical fervor, only this time from the opposite side of the debate. In "God's...
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Funny story: Majority of Illegal Immigrant Children Approved for Asylum, But Which One?

Majority of Illegal Immigrant Children Approved for Asylum, But Which One?

Texas - According to the House Judiciary Committee, two-thirds of illegal children who have requested asylum after crossing our southern border will be admitted and allowed to stay in our country. But why would any child want to live their lif...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama Denies 'Blood Feud' With Clintons: "We Only Played 'Family Feud' With Them"

Michelle Obama Denies 'Blood Feud' With Clintons: "We Only Played 'Family Feud' With Them"

Washington D.C. - After the release of the top-selling book by Ed Klein, "Blood Feud," Michelle Obama has come forward to clear the air about reported animosity between America's two royal families - The Obamas and the Clintons. "There never was a...
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Funny story: Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club

Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club

From an Unknown Secret Location It was discovered today that many of the most evil people in the world have formed a super secret coalition in order to have a no-limit, no girls allowed, he-man poker game camp out. There were a few others not allo...
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Funny story: Armageddon IS ... "The Bank of Atlantis "

Armageddon IS ... "The Bank of Atlantis "

Olaf Soxoff, a German-Swiss skier has alerted the world to an incredible find. An experienced veteran of the piste, the sixty-three years old Olaf decided to try an unfamiliar route on the South side of Switzerland's highest mountain, the Matterhorn.
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Funny story: Verdict Still Out On General Motors' New Advertising Campaign

Verdict Still Out On General Motors' New Advertising Campaign

Detroit - The verdict is still out on whether the new-car-buying consumer will ultimately be swayed by General Motors Corporation's (GM) new advertising campaign. GM launched the campaign three weeks ago at the beginning of the third quarter. To dat...
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Funny story: OMG, someone's put a slug in Courtney Stodden's lettuce bikini

OMG, someone's put a slug in Courtney Stodden's lettuce bikini

Washington DC - Something slimy has creeped its way out of Courtney Stodden's Butterhead lettuce bikini during a vegan beauty parade. And nibbled a hole in the Iceberg leaves that barely cover the TV star's 44DD bikini cups. TV cameramen filmi...
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Funny story: Welsh operations on the rise

Welsh operations on the rise

It has become the most popular surgery in the UK, and is now widely available on the NHS, to the shock of tabloid editors all over the country. So why are we all having to fork out for Brits to have an operation to become Welsh? Gryffythyth Thejon...
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Funny story: ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi makes shocking confession in rogue Mosul nightclub The Burqa al-Ablah

ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi makes shocking confession in rogue Mosul nightclub The Burqa al-Ablah

No sooner was I back in Baghdad from the journey to Mosul with Hillary than I got this strange call on my cell. I was at my favorite cheap digs, the Hotel Alzubra, ready to move back towards Syria, but it was Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi saying I should return north to Mosul. "If this is Warezabar," the voice said, "I have something. Urgent." "This is Pepe Warezabar." "Yes?" His English is...
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Funny story: Bowe Bergdahl Captured by Immigration Reform Activists

Bowe Bergdahl Captured by Immigration Reform Activists

Seargant Bowe Bergdahl, the soldier held prisoner by the Taliban in Afghanistan for five years, is reportedly once again a Prisoner of War. Just days after being returned to active duty, the Pentagon announced today that Bergdahl sent his father an e...
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Funny story: "Carry On" Films - Surviving Cast Members Innocent Of Any Bottom Pinching - CPS Finding

"Carry On" Films - Surviving Cast Members Innocent Of Any Bottom Pinching - CPS Finding

Requests by Operation "Holly Bush" investigators to interview surviving cast members of all "Ooh Err Missis!" Carry On films have been dismissed by the CPS, who described it as a farce. All the bottom pinching, innuendos and improper suggestions w...
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Funny story: "Send A Message" To 9-Year-Olds Says GOP Chief

"Send A Message" To 9-Year-Olds Says GOP Chief

Oversight and Government Reform Chairman Darrell Issa, R-Calif., has sent President Barack Obama a letter calling for an end to the 2012 executive order granting stays of deportation to children brought into the country illegally by their parents whe...
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Funny story: Palin: Impeach LeBron As King Of Basketball

Palin: Impeach LeBron As King Of Basketball

PANDERING FALLS, ALASKA -- Sarah Palin is calling for the impeachment of LeBron James as the king of basketball, noting his pursuit of a max deal at the expense of loyalty to his most recent employer, the Miami Heat, is despicable, reprehensible, loa...
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Funny story: Seinfeld Injured In Auto Accident Filming Episode of 'Comedians Getting Coffee'

Seinfeld Injured In Auto Accident Filming Episode of 'Comedians Getting Coffee'

Jerry Seinfeld, former network star, was involved in an auto accident yesterday while filming an episode of "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee" in Branson, Missouri. According to the Branson Police Department five people, including Mr. Seinfeld and...
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Funny story: Obama Insists America Shouldn't Make it Harder for 'Best and Brightest' to Come to Country

Obama Insists America Shouldn't Make it Harder for 'Best and Brightest' to Come to Country

Austin, TX - Many Americans agree with the president that we should not make it harder for the 'best and brightest' to come live in our country. However, most Americans would like to send President Obama a dictionary so he can look up what 'best...
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Funny story: Big Bang Theory Cancelled

Big Bang Theory Cancelled

The Big Bang Theory is being permanently pulled as the creators of the show, Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady, have been arrested on suspicion of fraud, with the pair believed to have created numerous ghostwriters with them both pocketing their pay. Sus...
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Funny story: Hubble Telescope Spots Lois Lerner's Emails Leaving Solar System in Secret Rocket

Hubble Telescope Spots Lois Lerner's Emails Leaving Solar System in Secret Rocket

Cape Canaveral, FL - NASA officials have announced the Hubble Telescope has spotted an object leaving our solar system at breakneck speed and believe the vessel is carrying Lois Lerner's missing IRS emails. The rocket was not launched by NASA...
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Funny story: Package Holiday Company Offers Fungus Collecting Breaks In Llandudno To Compete With Egyptian Scuba Diving Packages

Package Holiday Company Offers Fungus Collecting Breaks In Llandudno To Compete With Egyptian Scuba Diving Packages

Plenty of driving rain and overcast skies, muddy beaches, dilapidated resorts, cultural heritage and spectacular pre-glacial and post-glacial peat bogs, Wales is the perfect destination for a family mould spotting holiday. For most tourists, a h...
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