Funny story: Credit company to employ loan shark collection methods

Credit company to employ loan shark collection methods

As if the homophobic rants of its spokesman, Alec Baldwin, weren't enough bad publicity for Capital Card, its new terms dictate that representatives of the credit card company can visit or contact debtors "in any manner we choose," including paying p...
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Funny story: "American Grafitti: 40th Reunion" in Planning Stages

"American Grafitti: 40th Reunion" in Planning Stages

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - Sources in Hollywood say George Lucas, award winning director and co-writer of American Graffiti, a coming-of-age movie set in 1962, and released in 1973, is currently planning another sequel. The newest sequel, titled, Ame...
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Funny story: Entire Houston Astros Organization Suspended 50 Games for PEDs

Entire Houston Astros Organization Suspended 50 Games for PEDs

In a shocking press release earlier by Major League Baseball, the entire Houston Astros organization has been suspended 50 games for testing positive for use of banned substances by the league. Reported cases of positive banned substance tests have...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber's Best Friend: Bieber Causes No Harm, Just Loves Humor

Justin Bieber's Best Friend: Bieber Causes No Harm, Just Loves Humor

Neil Baker, a close friend of Justin Bieber says that the press gives people the wrong view of his friend, Justin Bieber. "They think Justin is up to tricks to make people look silly but he just loves humor. Some day I'll make a list of the tricks...
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Funny story: Troops to Teachers Program Spin-offs Not Quite as Successful

Troops to Teachers Program Spin-offs Not Quite as Successful

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Troops to Teachers (TTT) Program, established in 1994 by the Department of Defense, has successfully placed 20,000 participants in the nation's schools. The purpose of TTT is to help honorably discharged military personnel as...
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Funny story: Chef Celebrity Gordon Ramsay Calls it Quits!

Chef Celebrity Gordon Ramsay Calls it Quits!

LONDON, ENGLAND - A spokesman for Celebrity Scottish Chef, Gordon Ramsay, announced today that Ramsay is calling it quits. Ramsay, 47, whose restaurants have been awarded 15 Michelin Stars, is retiring and turning all 26 of his worldwide restaur...
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Funny story: "Cannabis Through the Ages" Denver Botanic Garden's Summer Exhibition

"Cannabis Through the Ages" Denver Botanic Garden's Summer Exhibition

DENVER, COLORADO - The 23 acre Denver Botanic Garden is excited to announce their newest upcoming exhibition, "Cannabis Through the Ages", beginning Summer 2014. Head Botanist, Sparkle Plenty, Ph.D., an expert on Cannabis sativa, plans to allocate...
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Funny story: Middle, High Schools in Arkansas Issued Firearms

Middle, High Schools in Arkansas Issued Firearms

Attention mass killers, you better not go into an Arkansas school as each child has been issued a weapon that is under their desk. The ammo can be unlocked quickly by the teacher or room monitor. Of course, the early grades will only have stun gun...
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Funny story: Archaeologists Discover City Made Out Of Tin In High Andes But Team Now Faces Oxygen Starvation.

Archaeologists Discover City Made Out Of Tin In High Andes But Team Now Faces Oxygen Starvation.

Lima, Peru : Archaeologists working in the High Andes in areas of low oxygen supply have reportedly stumbled upon a legendary city of purest TIN. The find was made last week and provides the clearest evidence yet for the existence of a civilization d...
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Funny story: New Federal Government Teeny Tiny Housing Program Offered to Millennials

New Federal Government Teeny Tiny Housing Program Offered to Millennials

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Federal Housing Administration announced today a bit of hope for the Millennial generation. In general, Generation Y has been left "out in the cold" when it comes to home buying, mostly due to a dismal employment outlook, high...
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Funny story: Many of us baffled over sharing NHS records

Many of us baffled over sharing NHS records

Almost half of Britons do not understand plans for sharing their NHS records. And increasing numbers of GPs (Geriatric Persons) are not clear how to use them. The Norman Hunter Singers (NHS) were a renowned choir based in Gateshead. They sold over...
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Funny story: Credit Company Training SWAT Teams to Collect Bills

Credit Company Training SWAT Teams to Collect Bills

TYSONS CORNER, VIRGINIA-The collection department at CapitalCard is in the process of training SWAT teams to collect delinquent payments from customers' accounts using methods perfected by the Los Angeles Police Department under the regime of Police...
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Funny story: Putin Calls Mulligan on Olympics, Requests a Do-Over Next Year

Putin Calls Mulligan on Olympics, Requests a Do-Over Next Year

After nearly two weeks of Olympic competition in Sochi, Russian President, Vladimir Putin is not completely satisfied with how the Games have turned out. So he has called a "mulligan", and is releasing a statement saying the Winter Olympic Games wil...
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Funny story: Buckingham Palace 'full of druggies, trolls and welfare cheats' say TV viewers about skanks show 'Benefits Street'

Buckingham Palace 'full of druggies, trolls and welfare cheats' say TV viewers about skanks show 'Benefits Street'

London, UK - Proportionally just as many of society's bottom feeders reside in the royal palaces as they do in the seedy Birmingham thoroughfare known as James Turner Street, Britain's official skank central, which features in a downmarket TV show ca...
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Funny story: Pardoned by Clinton ex-Dem congressman Mel Reynolds now in hot water with Zimbabwe cops

Pardoned by Clinton ex-Dem congressman Mel Reynolds now in hot water with Zimbabwe cops

Harare, Zimbabwe - His 78-month jail sentence for fraud and lying to SEC investigators was commuted to halfway house by outgoing President Bill Clinton who fought hard but failed to quash Reynolds' five year custodial term for 12 cunts - uh, counts!...
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Funny story: Google Street View Technicians Crash Into Antique Bicycle Carrying Thomas Pynchon In Everly Brothers Hometown. Manhunt Over.

Google Street View Technicians Crash Into Antique Bicycle Carrying Thomas Pynchon In Everly Brothers Hometown. Manhunt Over.

Drakesboro Kentucky, News has just emerged that technicians operating in a Google Street View vehicle collided with a Penny Farthing or high wheeler carrying fugitive conspiracy novelist Thomas Pynchon in rural Kentucky. Google spokesman:"We had to g...
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Funny story: Bobby McFerrin Lost In Australian Outback - Efforts to Locate Him Hampered by SuperParrot

Bobby McFerrin Lost In Australian Outback - Efforts to Locate Him Hampered by SuperParrot

Queensland, Australia: Attempts by Australian forest authorities to locate jazz singer and 10-time Grammy Winner Bobby McFerrin are being hampered by the mimicry of his voice by the Australian Lyrebird long famed for its ability to mimic any sound in...
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Funny story: Colorado Marijuana Is Now Being Transported To Pot Shops In Armored Cars

Colorado Marijuana Is Now Being Transported To Pot Shops In Armored Cars

DENVER - Colorado's State Department of Cannabis has just stated that the price of pot has gone up to the point where the product is now being transported from the processing plants to the pot shops in armored vehicles. Hollis Hoffteen, 37, with t...
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Funny story: Kim Kardashian Admits She's Taking Pills To Make Her Huge Butt Even Bigger

Kim Kardashian Admits She's Taking Pills To Make Her Huge Butt Even Bigger

HOLLYWOOD - Kim Kardashian appeared on The View and told Barbara Walters that she has been taking a certain type of pill that is available only in Italy. Kim said that the pill, known as the Butt Pill, is designed to be taken (orally) three times...
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Funny story: The Strip For Jackie Chamoun Olympic Movement Is Gaining Momentum

The Strip For Jackie Chamoun Olympic Movement Is Gaining Momentum

BEIRUT, Lebanon - The Strip For Jackie Movement in Lebanon has really picked up speed. Many Lebanese people not only in Lebanon but in places like Spain, Pakistan, and Cleveland have gotten behind Lebanese Olympic skier Jackie Chamoun. Members...
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Funny story: Colorado Denies Justin Bieber's Request To Purchase A Marijuana Farm

Colorado Denies Justin Bieber's Request To Purchase A Marijuana Farm

DENVER - Word coming out of the office of Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper is that the governor has emphatically turned down Justin Bieber's request to purchase a marijuana farm. Braydon D. Citronella, who is the official spokesperson for the R...
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Funny story: The Kennedy Space Center Issues A Warning Regarding The Moon

The Kennedy Space Center Issues A Warning Regarding The Moon

MERRITT ISLAND, Florida - The Kennedy Space Center has just stated that The Hubble Space Telescope which is out in space has just made an interesting discovery regarding the moon. According to Virgo Coopercastle the official spokesperson for the K...
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Funny story: Aspen Police Confiscate 800,000 Pounds of Counterfeit Pot

Aspen Police Confiscate 800,000 Pounds of Counterfeit Pot

ASPEN - Aspen Police working on a tip from a Mr. Klondike Quillquist, 62, have just informed the press of a huge counterfeit marijuana bust. APD spokesperson Willard Pencilbaker, 30, said that after being tipped off by Mr. Quillquist a dozen offic...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Contemplating Going Back To Canada And Joining The Army

Justin Bieber Contemplating Going Back To Canada And Joining The Army

WICHITA, Kansas - Justin Bieber traveled to the middle of the country to, as he said, get away from the limelight. He and his entourage of 16 landed in Wichita and rented 17 rooms at a local Motel 6. Justin kept a low profile eating his breakfa...
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Funny story: NASA States That They Are No Longer Taking Any Applications From Colorado Residents

NASA States That They Are No Longer Taking Any Applications From Colorado Residents

HOUSTON - NASA Spokesperson Trent Timmelfarb has made an announcement that has surprised many people and shocked others. He stated to the press that NASA has cancelled their scheduled trip to Denver to hold a job fair. He further explained that...
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Funny story: Willie Nelson Tells Gary Busey That Colorado Has The Best Smelling Air In The Entire Country

Willie Nelson Tells Gary Busey That Colorado Has The Best Smelling Air In The Entire Country

HOLLYWOOD - Gary Busey is proud to announce that his brand new talk show The Gorgeous Gary Busey Show has just won its network time slot. Busey said that his show scored higher ratings than Live With Kelly & Michael, The Muffin Makers, and the...
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Funny story: President Putin's Niece Is Thrilled At Getting To Meet NBC's Meredith Vieira

President Putin's Niece Is Thrilled At Getting To Meet NBC's Meredith Vieira

SOCHI, Russia - The niece of Russian President Vladimir Putin, Nadia Olgavich, is positively thrilled at having met one of her female role models, Meredith Vieira. Miss Olgavich speaking with Russia's national news agency Vodkavich said that ever...
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Funny story: Mick Jagger Announces He Has Just Purchased A Mansion in The Marijuana Capital of The USA, Colorado

Mick Jagger Announces He Has Just Purchased A Mansion in The Marijuana Capital of The USA, Colorado

ASPEN, Colorado - The leader of the Rolling Stones, Mick Jagger is all smiles as he has just finalised a deal to purchase a $4.9 million Rocky Mountain mansion in the Pot State of Colorado. Jagger spoke with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Tal...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Is Furious That Nina Dobrev Is Dating Her Ex-Fiancé Liam Hemsworth

Miley Cyrus Is Furious That Nina Dobrev Is Dating Her Ex-Fiancé Liam Hemsworth

NEW YORK CITY - The Twerking Champion of America, Miley Cyrus is reportedly fit to be tied over a recent development. Miley is not at all happy at the fact that the star of The Vampire Diaries, Nina Dobrev is dating her ex-fiancé Liam Hemsworth...
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Funny story: The Oklahoma City Thunder Are The Best In The West and In The East

The Oklahoma City Thunder Are The Best In The West and In The East

OKLAHOMA CITY - Coach Scott Brooks of the Oklahoma City Thunder has said that even he is surprised at the fantastic play of his Oklahoma team. The Thunder's record is presently an amazing 43-12. Coach Brooks added that Kevin Durant is playing like...
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Funny story: A Colorado Springs College Announces An Amazing Marijuana Related Name Change

A Colorado Springs College Announces An Amazing Marijuana Related Name Change

COLORADO SPRINGS - The dean of Zebulon Pike College, which is located in Colorado Springs has just informed the news media that the school will be undergoing a name change. Dean Lennox Woodpulp, III, stated that after receiving a petition signed b...
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Funny story: U.S. Military Instructed to Go After the Wee People's Gold

U.S. Military Instructed to Go After the Wee People's Gold

Washington, D.C. - A top secret military operation authorized by the Pentagon has been leaked to the press today by a source calling himself "King Midas". King Midas reports that the U.S. military has been given orders to begin clandestine searc...
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Funny story: Rock and Roll Band Names That (Thankfully) Never Got Used

Rock and Roll Band Names That (Thankfully) Never Got Used

1. The Centipedes 2. Blackboard and the Nails 3. Cillia and the Phlegms 4. Joe Plaque and the Arteries 5. The Wheres 6. The Whens 7. The Whys 8. The Raisinettes 9. Boney and The Mastoids 10. Old Tuna 11. Icy and the Broken Hips 12. Arafat and the Jordanaires 13. Scud Missiles 14. The Rotten Mastodons 15. Orca Dinner 16. Stubby Toe and the...
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Funny story: Devil's Tower to be Site of New Observatory

Devil's Tower to be Site of New Observatory

LARAMIE, WYOMING - Professors from the Univ. of Wyoming Department of Physics and Astronomy have announced the acceptance of a Bill Gate's Foundation Grant for the purpose of building an observatory atop the Devil's Tower. The Devil's Tower, loca...
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Funny story: Wyoming to Erect High Fence Along Border with Colorado

Wyoming to Erect High Fence Along Border with Colorado

CHEYENNE, WYOMING - Matt Mead, Governor of Wyoming, announced at a press conference today that he has authorized the erection of a 8 foot tall fence stretching along Wyoming's border with Colorado. "We can't afford to lose any more people," explai...
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Funny story: White House to be Pink House

White House to be Pink House

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The White House announced today that in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month this coming October, the White House will be painted pink. According to press secretary, Joanna Rosholm, Mrs. Obama made the decision after conferrin...
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Funny story: FOX Television Found To Be Infested With Strangely Obvious Subversives

FOX Television Found To Be Infested With Strangely Obvious Subversives

The conservative news agency FOX News has been found to be riddled with subversives, anarchic souls whose unwholesome lifestyles do not conform to FOX's strict right leaning policies. Even more surprising, some of these cancerous maladies that weaken...
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Funny story: Rolling Stone, Meet Klezmer, a Music Survivor!

Rolling Stone, Meet Klezmer, a Music Survivor!

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK - When most Americans are asked, "What do you think of Klezmer?" they are flummoxed, like it is an intellectual question only a MENSA member might know the answer to. "Hum....klezmer.....klezmer....what is this Klezmer?" they ask, after guessing it is type of fish, a root vegetable from Russia, a kid's card game, or a brand new techno device. Rolling Stone Magazine...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Flagged By Police With Baby on Top of Car!

Justin Bieber Flagged By Police With Baby on Top of Car!

Los Angeles Police have stopped Justin Bieber as he had drivers honked horns and passengers screaming and chasing him, shouting that he had a baby on the roof of his car. Bieber waved and waved as if he hadn't a care in the world while the baby ke...
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