There were 200 spoof news stories published in December 2014. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: CAPTCHA Revelation: I Call the Shots

CAPTCHA Revelation: I Call the Shots

I'm so lucky to be a CAPTCHA program. Y'know one of those little thingies that won't let you operate on a website unless you prove that you're human. I absolutely LOVE my job. The irony of the situation tickles me. Love it, love it, love it -- that a human has to communicate with a machine in order to prove his or her humanity. LOL! Most of the time I do my gatekeeper job diligently. But eve...
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Funny story: Cartoon Characters Squawk at NYC Press Conference

Cartoon Characters Squawk at NYC Press Conference

Travelers in NYC's Grand Central Station were stopped dead in their tracks yesterday when they witnessed an amazing press conference starring an irate group of cartoon characters complaining about their names. Here's "the skinny" about the even...
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Funny story: Kool-Aid Man Banned from All Stadium Events!

Kool-Aid Man Banned from All Stadium Events!

In a move that no one has prepared for, the Kool-Aid Man has been banned from all stadium events, especially football and hockey events, across North America and the UK effective immediately. In a press release, event organizers cited concerns over p...
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Funny story: Plastic Covers To Be Fitted To Valuable Furniture And Carpets In Buckingham Palace As Corgi Damage Exceeds £20m

Plastic Covers To Be Fitted To Valuable Furniture And Carpets In Buckingham Palace As Corgi Damage Exceeds £20m

Kept from the public eye for decades, the extent of damage to furniture and carpets at Buckingham Palace has been revealed by ex-maid, Eileen Over in her serialised memoirs. The revelations, from the book, "Please Housetrain One's Corgis" ISBN A23PIS...
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Funny story: Black Suspect Who Died in Police Custody Suffered from a Pre-existing Condition (Actually, Two)

Black Suspect Who Died in Police Custody Suffered from a Pre-existing Condition (Actually, Two)

NEW YORK-A black suspect who died from a chokehold while in police custody apparently, according to the coroner who examined the body on Wednesday, suffered from the pre-existing condition of mortality. Rashawn Williams, the 27 year old suspect, w...
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Funny story: Sony Counter Hacks North Korea- Successfully Shuts Down All 23 Computers There

Sony Counter Hacks North Korea- Successfully Shuts Down All 23 Computers There

On December 21st the entire Internet in North Korea was shut down by a major cyber attack. (Note- a major cyber attack in the Communist state would be the equivalent of accidentally pulling out your plug on an old Commodore computer in any other coun...
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Funny story: New North Korea movie features President Obama caught in Washington brothel with his pants down and hand in the wrong place

New North Korea movie features President Obama caught in Washington brothel with his pants down and hand in the wrong place

Apparently in retaliation for the currently retracted movie The Interview, North Korea's movie factory Pyongyang Noir Films has just released a film titled Bang Chang Masters At Home. The story features the President of the United States in his fa...
View 'New North Korea movie features President Obama caught in Washington brothel with his pants down and hand in the wrong place'
Funny story: Bikini Babes Stage "Pro Police Protest" At Florida Golf Club

Bikini Babes Stage "Pro Police Protest" At Florida Golf Club

Holding signs saying "Cops are hot" and "Cops do it better" local bikini babes swarmed the "Flamingo and the Raven Golf Club" in Sundown Florida. About 100 of the hottest chicks in south Florida attended the bikini and thong protest to show their su...
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Funny story: Pope Francis Welcomes Stephen Colbert Back into the Church - 'On Fast Track to Immediate Sainthood,' Says Papal Office

Pope Francis Welcomes Stephen Colbert Back into the Church - 'On Fast Track to Immediate Sainthood,' Says Papal Office

Vatican City-Pope Francis announced today that he would personally receive lapsed Roman Catholic Stephen Colbert back into the Church this Christmas. A special ceremony will be held during midnight mass in St Peter's Cathedral on Christmas Eve. "W...
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Funny story: Jameis Winston Hopes Crab Legs Incident Overshadows Sexual Assault Allegations

Jameis Winston Hopes Crab Legs Incident Overshadows Sexual Assault Allegations

TALLAHASSEE - In 2012, Winston was accused of sexual assault by a female student. The medical examination showed the victim had injuries indicative of sexual trauma; in addition, the victim identified Winston as the attacker. However, the Tallahassee...
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Funny story: Nobel Physics Prize Accidentally Awarded To Micro Chips Inventor Dyson McDonald

Nobel Physics Prize Accidentally Awarded To Micro Chips Inventor Dyson McDonald

The Nobel Prize for innovative development in physics has been accidentally awarded to Dyson MacDonald, the inventor of "microwave chips" and not the microchip inventor Werner Jacobi. The invention of the integrated circuit, or microchip goes bac...
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Funny story: Excitement About New Year's Eve Fades With Age - Study Finds.

Excitement About New Year's Eve Fades With Age - Study Finds.

Fayetteville, AR - A recent study by the University of Arkansas found that a person's excitement about New Year's Eve and associated celebrations tends to fade with a person's age. Lead researcher Vernon Springer, PhD, professor emeritus at the U...
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Funny story: Senator Graham and the new Republican Congress breathe firebolts and sacred vows on the need for sanctions plus war with Iran

Senator Graham and the new Republican Congress breathe firebolts and sacred vows on the need for sanctions plus war with Iran

Eternally vigilant for the war manufacturers and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Republican Senator Lindsey Graham is breathing heavily with red face this morning. Sanctions will be due soon, certainly, because Iran is sure to violate, somehow,...
View 'Senator Graham and the new Republican Congress breathe firebolts and sacred vows on the need for sanctions plus war with Iran'
Funny story: Madonna Posing Topless As Aging Male Fans Hope They're Still Erection-Capable

Madonna Posing Topless As Aging Male Fans Hope They're Still Erection-Capable

At 56, Madonna has posed topless for a magazine photo shoot, hoping to prove that the same 16-year-old boys first experiencing the wonders of manhood by masturbating to her nude photos 30 years ago, will still do as lonely, broken, well-moisturized m...
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Funny story: Fake Sony hacking attack pops one million dollars box office sales plus bolsters sagging reputations here and there

Fake Sony hacking attack pops one million dollars box office sales plus bolsters sagging reputations here and there

The past week has shown several internet and hacking experts clear North Korea as responsible for the hacking attack on Sony. That is, North Korea was not responsible for the hacking. Former Sony employees (and possibly the CIA) are suspected a...
View 'Fake Sony hacking attack pops one million dollars box office sales plus bolsters sagging reputations here and there'
Funny story: A Man Sacrificed his Head to Save his lit Cigarette from Raging Torrent

A Man Sacrificed his Head to Save his lit Cigarette from Raging Torrent

A man on New York streets was spotted using his umbrella to shield his lit cigarette from the pouring heavy rain completely exposing his barely haired head. According to witnesses, the umbrella the man was carrying was too small that they suspect it...
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Funny story: Office Christmas party goes downhill fast after hot girl in accounts leaves early

Office Christmas party goes downhill fast after hot girl in accounts leaves early

Employees at McLellans Systems Ltd reported a dive in morale at this years Christmas party when the company's "hot girl in accounts" left at 7.30pm. "Before then the party was in full swing and many of the guys in the company were happy and chatt...
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Funny story: Sony to Release New Comedy Depicting Assassination of President Obama-- No Protests, No Outcry, No Nothing. Bill O'Reilly Says: 'It's Just a Joke.'

Sony to Release New Comedy Depicting Assassination of President Obama-- No Protests, No Outcry, No Nothing. Bill O'Reilly Says: 'It's Just a Joke.'

Following the PR success of The Interview, Sony Pictures announced today that it would be releasing Alluha Akbar!, an uproarious new comedy about the assassination of President Barack Obama. The movie is financed by the government of North Korea...
View 'Sony to Release New Comedy Depicting Assassination of President Obama-- No Protests, No Outcry, No Nothing. Bill O'Reilly Says: 'It's Just a Joke.''
Funny story: Sony hack forces thousands of children outside over Christmas

Sony hack forces thousands of children outside over Christmas

Thousands of Children were forced to play outside or entertain them selves with board games after the massive hack that left gamers unable to connect to the internet on Christmas day. The Hack resulted in gangs of feral children leaving their bedr...
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Funny story: Labour MPs persuade "feral" David Milliband to leave Tibetan monastery, return home, defeat brother

Labour MPs persuade "feral" David Milliband to leave Tibetan monastery, return home, defeat brother

Following an unspectacular time as labour leader, a team of Labour MPs have lost patience with Ed Milliband. The group have flown out to Tibet to track down former favourite David Milliband. Who's last whereabouts were said to be in a Tibetan monesta...
View 'Labour MPs persuade "feral" David Milliband to leave Tibetan monastery, return home, defeat brother'
Funny story: Geldof taken down by Amazon

Geldof taken down by Amazon

Sir Bob Geldof has taken his 30th anniversary supergroup Band AID to the Amazon for what was meant be a secret Christmas special finale to Band AID 30. The supergroup haven't been able to perform the hit 'Do they know It's Christmas?' as they had int...
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Funny story: Peter Pan Turns Out To be A Whore

Peter Pan Turns Out To be A Whore

In mythology, the god Pan was a fertility god, most often represented as a satyr, that sexually insatiable beast of the forest. Another aspect of Pan is that of the Horned God. He was often associated with and identified with Satan. But today, "...
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Funny story: American Students Sent Home from France in Disgrace

American Students Sent Home from France in Disgrace

Fourteen undergraduates from a college in New York U.S. are currently getting psychological counselling after a return visit from France. The students were hand picked to travel to the Ecole des Roches in Normandy France, for six weeks, in order to l...
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Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises Les Brains From Barf Who Has To Decide On A Career

Auntie Jean Advises Les Brains From Barf Who Has To Decide On A Career

Les Brains Asks: Auntie Jean, I was dropped on my head by the midwife as a baby and consequently cannot make any decisions and have no moral fibre. I can't tell right from wrong , am dishonest and selfish and frequently accidentally wear my jacket inside out. I have an appointment with the Career Adviser at school tomorrow and would like to ask about a career. Which should I choose? Auntie Jea...
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Funny story: Spooky Oscar Pistorius weekend offer goes on sale

Spooky Oscar Pistorius weekend offer goes on sale

How would you like to spend a weekend in a spooky one bedroom apartment in South Africa? Not for the faint-hearted, this once in a lifetime experience will see you land at Johannesburg, where you will be collected by taxi, driven through the slums...
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Funny story: No Such Thing As Electricity - Latest Conspiracy Theory

No Such Thing As Electricity - Latest Conspiracy Theory

The biggest confidence trick of all time was uncovered today as an ex Power Plant Manager revealed that electricity did not exist and never had done. Huge companies selling the invisible "magic" power substance have apparently been pulling a fast one...
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Funny story: Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Catholics around the world have been screaming "blasphemy" all day after it was revealed that the Vatican will reboot the Bible next year and write a new "more modern" version if it for release in the summertime. The Vatican made the decision du...
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Funny story: Arsene Wenger defends Arsenal's proud principle of "losing"

Arsene Wenger defends Arsenal's proud principle of "losing"

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger took offence during yesterdays press conference after the loss to Stoke City in the Premier League, when a journalist criticised the club for losing the match 3-2. The French manager took issue with the journalist talki...
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Funny story: Hollywood propagandists re North Korea and the film The Interview receive the Victoria Nuland Award

Hollywood propagandists re North Korea and the film The Interview receive the Victoria Nuland Award

Last night at an annual dinner for Hollywood Moguls and Morons Associated, first place went to the hackers who faked an attack on the Seth Rogen movie The Interview as coming from North Korea. The Victoria Nuland Award, a statue twelve inches high...
View 'Hollywood propagandists re North Korea and the film The Interview receive the Victoria Nuland Award'
Funny story: Kim Jong un Is The New Face Of Anusal Pile Ointment

Kim Jong un Is The New Face Of Anusal Pile Ointment

In a break from the usual pile ointment stereotypes such as John Gudman or Robbie Coaltraine, North Korean leader, Kim Jong un has been awarded the coveted Anusal haemorrhoid advertising contract. The handsome leader is initially contracted to st...
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Funny story: Jesus - I Don't Want Any More Sunbeams

Jesus - I Don't Want Any More Sunbeams

Jesus has appealed to people not to try to be sunbeams, as he is snowed under with them. "He told our religious affairs journalist, "I don't know who wrote that fucking 'Jesus wants me for a sunbeam' song but since the financial crashes I've a millio...
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Funny story: Kim Jong-un brushes go on sale in run-up to Christmas

Kim Jong-un brushes go on sale in run-up to Christmas

North Korea has entered the foreign exports market with a new product set to beat all economic sanctions. The Kim Jong-un brush looks just like the supreme leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, complete with a chubby handle, an unbelie...
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Funny story: Over 98% Of Non-UK People Are Foreign - Daily Mail

Over 98% Of Non-UK People Are Foreign - Daily Mail

The results of a survey of people carried out in over 50 countries show that over 98% of them are 'foreigners'. The Daily Mail allegedly stated that this is the way things are going and soon there could be even more foreigners abroad. The Daily Expre...
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Funny story: Farage To Make White Christmases In Likely UKIP Voting Areas Only

Farage To Make White Christmases In Likely UKIP Voting Areas Only

A new satellite weather controller has been privately launched by UKIP backers to bring white Christmases to areas which pledge support to their party. The satellite, launched by balloon to cut costs, focuses barometric pulses on cumulo snow-us...
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Funny story: David Cameron in Angry Dispute with Neighbour over Christmas Decorations

David Cameron in Angry Dispute with Neighbour over Christmas Decorations

David Cameron's next door neighbour Gideon has told him he will complain to the council if he puts expensive Christmas decorations up this year, outside number 10. Gideon was overheard saying that Britain is going through its worst austerity cris...
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Funny story: Dennis Rodman Gets Order to Kiss Seth Rogen

Dennis Rodman Gets Order to Kiss Seth Rogen

After another all-nighter on the Las Vegas Strip, former NBA Star Dennis Rodman woke up in a young woman's room to a loud banging on the door. "At first I thought it was her husband or boyfriend," said Rodman. "Can't tell you how many times shit l...
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Funny story: GOP Issues Fatwa Against Pope Francis

GOP Issues Fatwa Against Pope Francis

WASHINGTON, DC--The Republican Party has declared a Fatwa, or legal decree, against Pope Francis for his anti-capitalist statements over the last year and a half. The Fatwa came only days after the most recent attack on the controversial Pope, when S...
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Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises A. Nellie Retentive, Pensioner From Scunthorpe

Auntie Jean Advises A. Nellie Retentive, Pensioner From Scunthorpe

Nellie Asks: Auntie, I have received my D.A.B. 3D digital radio from the internet which arrived on a low loader this morning. I would appreciate a little help with tuning it as the instructions are inadequately translated from Mandarin Chinese. It has what it describes as a 2.3 metre plasma screen. I had to cut a hole in my trailer park home to get it in. It keeps blowing the park substatio...
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Funny story: Osborne To Save Money By Issuing Discount Rail Tickets To One Remaining Central Hospital

Osborne To Save Money By Issuing Discount Rail Tickets To One Remaining Central Hospital

To plunder even more of the country's assets to try to reach Thatcher scale carnage, George Osborne is to sell off all hospitals but one and issue rail discounts to sick people. The "savings" will enable stockbroker belt voters to pay less tax an...
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Funny story: Tests Indicate Venezuelans Are Most Resilient People On Earth

Tests Indicate Venezuelans Are Most Resilient People On Earth

Tests carried out by Anthropologists trying to cheer up the population of rain sodden Wales have revealed that whatever happens to Venezuelans, they come up smiling and have an unshakable belief that things will get better. The controversial tests...
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Funny story: Jeb Bush Hopes To Become Second Dumbest President In Nation's History

Jeb Bush Hopes To Become Second Dumbest President In Nation's History

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. - Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush on Tuesday took his most definitive step yet toward a bid for the White House, announcing "I hope to become the second dumbest president in the history of our great nation." Bush said he plans t...
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Funny story: Overheard in a Staten Island Grand Jury Room

Overheard in a Staten Island Grand Jury Room

Almost New York - The judge in the Eric Gardner police brutality case put a lid on the release of evidence and souvenir transcripts used by the grand jury to reach its mystifying decision. Good thing we had our judicial fly on the wall to listen in on juror comments. Here are some of their choice remarks: "I'm glad I live on an island." "If he wanted to breathe, he should've brought alon...
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Funny story: Kim Jung Um Shuts Down U.S. News Media

Kim Jung Um Shuts Down U.S. News Media

WASHINGTON - U.S. officials have concluded that the North Korean government, controlled by Kim Jung Um, ordered the hacking attack on Sony Pictures Entertainment - a breach that led to the studio cancelling the planned release of "The Interview". Th...
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Funny story: Americas Response To Kim Jong Un- "Thank You For Saving Us From Watching Yet Another Stupid Stoner Movie."

Americas Response To Kim Jong Un- "Thank You For Saving Us From Watching Yet Another Stupid Stoner Movie."

Americans were especially thankful to North Korea and Kim Jong Un this Holiday season for saving them from watching yet another stupid pot-head movie. "It saved me ten bucks in ticket prices and another eight in popcorn and soda." stated John Gawk...
View 'Americas Response To Kim Jong Un- "Thank You For Saving Us From Watching Yet Another Stupid Stoner Movie."'
Funny story: NRA Lobbies for Concealed Carry Permits for Toddlers

NRA Lobbies for Concealed Carry Permits for Toddlers

FAIRFAX, VA--After a two year old toddler fatally shot his mother at a Wal-Mart recently, Wayne LaPierre, CEO of the National Rifle Ass., is starting an effort to lobby Congress to extend Concealed Carry Laws to toddlers nationwide. His reasoning:...
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Funny story: Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off

Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off

Stopping short of total surrender, the treaty signed by pro Scottish Independence clan chiefs after the referendum defeat included a clause dealing with the decommissioning of bagpipes and the handing over of them to dangerous musical instrument dum...
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Funny story: Washington Fury over "Freedom" Speech.

Washington Fury over "Freedom" Speech.

Washington: Fury erupted yesterday in the House of Representatives as Wisconscin's Paddy O'Shea addressed 435 members concerning a bill he had proposed that never made it past the first hurdle. This is what he said: "First of all, the blessed...
View 'Washington Fury over "Freedom" Speech.'
Funny story: Government To Re-Structure Pornography Industry

Government To Re-Structure Pornography Industry

A Government enquiry into the pornography industry has found it to be "top heavy". After the next election, changes will be made to cut out the waste and streamline the whole British Industry in line with Las Vegas and Russia. Implants will have to b...
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Funny story: New York Jets Excited to Learn Ray Rice a Free Agent

New York Jets Excited to Learn Ray Rice a Free Agent

NEW YORK - The New York Jets are in last place in the AFC East. Looking for help in the backfield, they are reportedly interested in former Ravens running back Ray Rice. As of this hour, no team has put in a claim for the recently reinstated player.
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Funny story: Police Academy #666 the Curse of De Blasio

Police Academy #666 the Curse of De Blasio

New York - The latest sequel in the wildly successful Police Academy movie series is being shot in New York City under the direction of big screen legend the Reverend Al Sharpton. Starring NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio the opening scene was being filme...
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Funny story: Ex-Beauty Queen to be New James Bond

Ex-Beauty Queen to be New James Bond

Idris Elba has declined the role of a black James Bond as he considered it condescending to fellow blacks as well as the total misportrayal of the original character. Fleming's 007 was a MI6 spy proficient in languages and the martial arts; and a...
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Funny story: Black, Black, Black, Not a White Thing In Sight!

Black, Black, Black, Not a White Thing In Sight!

Plenty of white families were upset when the new Disney movie, Venture Into The Woods, an adaptation of an old time fairytale, Hansel and Gretel, came out last week. The recent Disney movie are what critics call a "revolutionary and original piec...
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Funny story: CIA Torture Study a Torture to Read

CIA Torture Study a Torture to Read

"Judicious Use of Cognitive and Physical Trauma to Elicit Psychic Response"--By Dr. Gunter Chang, Director of Cognitive Studies at the Central Intelligence Agency, August 2003. Abstract: Research in the area of the psychic science lags considerably behind other research fields primarily due to lack of reproducible quantitative data obtained under controlled conditions. In an effort to establ...
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Funny story: Boris Johnson unveils plans for removing the north south divide

Boris Johnson unveils plans for removing the north south divide

Boris Johnson has announced that if he is becomes leader of the Conservative Party, his first act will be to solve the North South Divide. "This is a terrible situation," said Johnson. "People in the North rarely get a chance to wash, work down pi...
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Funny story: Irish Government to stick Santa for yet another Austerity Tax

Irish Government to stick Santa for yet another Austerity Tax

In another bid to raise Austerity Taxes, this time seasonal, the Irish Government is looking at charging Santa for every time he crosses the Flight Paths over Dublin and Cork. Given that Santa's Business Itinerary takes in thousands of trips per...
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Funny story: Protesters Protest Being Told They're In The Wrong Ferguson

Protesters Protest Being Told They're In The Wrong Ferguson

Ferguson Township, PA - A group of protesters protesting the grand jury decision in the Michael Brown case in Ferguson, MO were outraged yesterday and started protesting about how the police chief of Ferguson Township in Pennsylvania told the protest...
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Funny story: Man Shot By Cop, Cuffed Then Fined $100

Man Shot By Cop, Cuffed Then Fined $100

A case that is just one among a number that caused Eric Holder, the US attorney general, to sharply censure the, let's call it, the Cleavageland police department this week, is one where a "John Doe," who is a black man was shot in the chest by a pol...
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Funny story: Pope Announces Sweeping Reforms

Pope Announces Sweeping Reforms

The Vatican is introducing sweeping reforms to its liturgical practice. Mass, benediction and special services, from now on, will be all-ticket affairs. The "pensio" as the ticket is called can be bought online. Marketing director for the Vatican...
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Funny story: Exclusive Interview with Bond Movie Hacker

Exclusive Interview with Bond Movie Hacker

The cyber-attack on the Sony's computer network on 25 November 2014 originated from North Korea. The intrepid hacker, hitherto unknown, put on line the script of the latest Bond movie SPECTRE currently still in production. The Bond leak has the p...
View 'Exclusive Interview with Bond Movie Hacker'
Funny story: CIA "Rectal Hydration" Raises Questions

CIA "Rectal Hydration" Raises Questions

LANGLEY, VA --CIA Director, John O. Brennan held a rare press conference today where he attempted to defend CIA torture post 9/11. Brennan, contradicting former CIA Directors, said, "It is unknowable whether useful intelligence was ever obtained...
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Funny story: UK Bookies Jubilant over Sydney Attack

UK Bookies Jubilant over Sydney Attack

UK bookies made a mint by leaving out Australia as a candidate for the next 'terrorist attack' and had instead the UK as clear favourite with Spain second. The gunman who laid siege to a Sydney restaurant was named as Man Haron Monis. He forced so...
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Funny story: Republican Party, the GOP, to Sue the Guardians of Peace Terrorist Group, also the GOP, For Trademark Infringement

Republican Party, the GOP, to Sue the Guardians of Peace Terrorist Group, also the GOP, For Trademark Infringement

Washington, DC In a surprising development, the Republican Party, instead of denouncing the terrorist group, the Guardians of Peace, for terrorist threats, the Republicans have instead sued them in the World Court for copyright infringement for using...
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Funny story: Man Unexpectedly Drops Dead While Pre-Planning His Funeral

Man Unexpectedly Drops Dead While Pre-Planning His Funeral

GRANTS LICK, KY-Jason Moribund, 57, a lifelong resident of northern Kentucky, was pre-planning his funeral at Swindler and Curry Funeral Home last Friday night when he suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack. The owner of the funeral home, C...
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Funny story: Santa To Quit Delivering "Junk Mail" After This Year

Santa To Quit Delivering "Junk Mail" After This Year

This will be the last year that Santa drops off fake "Competition Winner" letters and furniture advertisements with his presents. Mail firms from warmer shores have undercut Santa's delivery deals by using cheap unregistered labor and offering an all...
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Funny story: 2014 Resigns Early: "Total Disgust with Humanity." Tells 2015: "Good Luck, Sucker!"

2014 Resigns Early: "Total Disgust with Humanity." Tells 2015: "Good Luck, Sucker!"

Aging year 2014 resigned today, 48 hours earlier than expected, citing ethical fatigue and "total disgust with humanity." Badly cut and beaten by the events of the past 12 months, the old codger said he no longer cared that Earth would be in mora...
View '2014 Resigns Early: "Total Disgust with Humanity." Tells 2015: "Good Luck, Sucker!"'
Funny story: US House congratulates itself on action to inform, inflame, inveigle, and induce

US House congratulates itself on action to inform, inflame, inveigle, and induce

Last Thursday the US House of Representatives passed resolution HR 758 criticizing Russia on Ukraine. It passed 411-10. Yesterday the House passed a new resolution to congratulate itself on Thursday's success. This new resolution, HR 758b, is...
View 'US House congratulates itself on action to inform, inflame, inveigle, and induce'
Funny story: Jamie Olivier Re-Invents Mexican Prison Food

Jamie Olivier Re-Invents Mexican Prison Food

British T.V. Chef, Jamie Olivier has been invited to give Mexican prison food a facelift by Fernandez Pedro Jose Gomez, after Gordon Ramsay told the prison reformer to "fuck off" according to "Which Prison Food " magazine. Out with: soggy spinach,...
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Funny story: How Obama's Identical Twin Took Over White House

How Obama's Identical Twin Took Over White House

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a bloodless coup, Omar Obama became the unchallenged leader of the free world. Fooling everyone, including the Secret Service, the president's wife and children; even Joe Biden, Omar walked into the Oval Office, kicked his twi...
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Funny story: Apocalypse Entrepreneur Offers $3m Bunker To Racketeering NYC Lawyer Steven Donziger

Apocalypse Entrepreneur Offers $3m Bunker To Racketeering NYC Lawyer Steven Donziger

New York - If the world comes to an end in 2015 for convicted RICO lawyer Steven Donziger, where on earth could he turn to? That is the karmic poser being studied by the office of the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York...
View 'Apocalypse Entrepreneur Offers $3m Bunker To Racketeering NYC Lawyer Steven Donziger'
Funny story: Sony to North Korea: "We Are your Bitch"

Sony to North Korea: "We Are your Bitch"

The movie "The Interview" may have been stopped from a wide release, but American viewers are showing their full support for the film, whose release was muted due to pressure from hackers who threatened bloodshed at movie theaters due to the film's m...
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Funny story: "Well Connected" Getting Rave Reviews

"Well Connected" Getting Rave Reviews

Ari Alterman has added yet another blockbuster movie to his long string of successes in a career spanning twenty-five years. "Well Connected" that has a strong magical theme has a sterling cast with Clint Eastwood taking a small role with Beyonce. It is produced by Ari Alterman, directed by Lilith Alterman and sees the acting debut of Judith Alterman. The script was written by son Zac under...
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Funny story: Is MI6 Punishing Scotland With "Weather Bombs"?

Is MI6 Punishing Scotland With "Weather Bombs"?

U.K. James Bond centre, MI6 was alleged by conspiracy theorists this morning to be behind a jetstream propelled "Weather Bomb" hitting the West of Scotland today. An ex Q department scientist, Dennis Llewellyn-Dyson told our Unlikely Conspiracy Depa...
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Funny story: White House Apocalyptic Announcement

White House Apocalyptic Announcement

Press Secretary for President Obama's administration, Karl Von Mitty Munchausen announced today to at gathering of journalists and reporters invited to a White House tickets-only news conference the following: "General Martin Dempsey, chairman of...
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Funny story: Sprouts Will Be Re-stocked In Time For Christmas - Supermarkets Claim

Sprouts Will Be Re-stocked In Time For Christmas - Supermarkets Claim

Housewives hoarding brussels sprouts and those small sausages to put around turkeys for Christmas have caused panic buying, with major stores claiming that there will not be enough for every shopper if people greedily buy up the stocks now. Groups...
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Funny story: Certain 'Forces' Send In THE CHENEY To Take Care Of Lame Duck Government.

Certain 'Forces' Send In THE CHENEY To Take Care Of Lame Duck Government.

Eager to take over the U.S. government as swiftly as possible after winning major seats in the Senate and Legislature, 'certain forces' within our system have called on a specialist to rid the organization of its 'lame duck' elements. Operating in se...
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Funny story: Gay man comes out of closet, but father makes him go back in

Gay man comes out of closet, but father makes him go back in

He finally mustered up enough fortitude and courage to do it. However, once Parker Williams stepped out the closet, revealing his homosexuality to the world, his father, Frank Williams, was standing right there. "He made me go right back in,"...
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Funny story: What to do with Christmas Leftovers, 3 Key Items

What to do with Christmas Leftovers, 3 Key Items

1. Freeze Turkey Giblets , then promote as genuine WW1 Christmas Truce Football Match Interval Edwardian 'Comfits' or 'Fancies'. 2. Mix up any old rubbish lurking in your fridge , with some Fruits Rouges ( or tinned Raspberries) and label it: 'French and/or Italian Rustic Preserve.'..then decant into any glass pot, stick a label in French or Italian onto it....money for old rope, but make sure...
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Funny story: "The Interview" To Start Filming Sequel With Bill Cosby

"The Interview" To Start Filming Sequel With Bill Cosby

Hollywood, CA Sony announced today that even though their movie The Interview caused international incidents, possible financial ruin, terrorist threats, hack attacks, and chastisement by President Obama, they would be filming a sequel in the next f...
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Funny story: Obama Issues Himself A Presidential Pardon

Obama Issues Himself A Presidential Pardon

WASHINGTON -- In the wake of the Senate Select Committee Report on CIA torture showing a grisly, reckless brutality, a violation of the U.S. Constitution and the Geneva Accords, President Obama issued himself a pardon for possible illegal activities...
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Funny story: Obama's Tooth Fairy Screwed Grandmother's False Teeth

Obama's Tooth Fairy Screwed Grandmother's False Teeth

BILLINGSGATE POST: Milada Mae Jefferson, an 83 year-old grandmother living in Philadelphia received her mail-order false teeth from a dental supply company just last week. The poor lady had gone edentulous sometime in her late 50's and had been gum...
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Funny story: NHS to be funded by car-parking fees

NHS to be funded by car-parking fees

In a bid to reduce the overhead on the budget that is the NHS, the Conservatives have outlined a plan to decrease their spending on this national institution. "Basically," said George Osborne, "we're going to raise the money by increasing parking...
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Funny story: Jeb Bush to Run for President of the U.S.

Jeb Bush to Run for President of the U.S.

To Jeb Bush, brother of George. W. Bush on his announcement to stand for the presidency of the U.S., numerous greetings and best wishes have been flooding in. Well-wishers include Halliburton, Citibank, Chase Bank, World Bank, Barclay's Bank, the...
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Funny story: Amazing Cure for Everything Discovered

Amazing Cure for Everything Discovered

A scientific study has revealed, for the first time, a cure for every known ailment. The study, conducted in our street, found a 100% of those questioned had always found drinking tea with honey cured any illness they had. Mrs Expresso advised her...
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Funny story: Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

VATICAN CITY PAPAL ANNOUNCEMENT. The following was broadcast last night by Pope Francis from Rome. "The Holy See's concern with the march of materialism has prompted her to reinstate PENANCE as the primary mode of the expiation of sins. For too long we have ignored the sacrament and its healing power. The global obsession with transient pleasures, with material things, with cosmetics, travel...
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Funny story: A Christmas Selection Of 10 Badass Popes

A Christmas Selection Of 10 Badass Popes

1) Pope Stephen VI: had his predecessor Formosus, exhumed, tried, de-fingered, and thrown to the river. and his death by strangling. 2 The Pope who sold the papacy. Benedict IX was Pope from 1032 to 1044, again in 1045, and finally from 1047 to 1048, the only man to have served as Pope for three discontinuous periods, and one of the most controversial Popes of all time. Benedict gave up his...
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Funny story: Royal Family to Move to Australia

Royal Family to Move to Australia

A spokesman for the British Foreign Office has announced that the House of Windsor has been transferred to Australia. There has been increasing speculation of late as to why the royal family are such frequent visitors to the continent. Kate and W...
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Funny story: Listening Devices Routinely Placed In Artificial Hips

Listening Devices Routinely Placed In Artificial Hips

Miniature surveillance devices are being planted in artificial hips by alien surgeons according to our nutter journalist, David Ikes. Ace conspiracy theorist reporter, Ikes today disclosed that a Government listening station disguised as an MI6 anti...
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Funny story: Giant Meteorite may indicate 'Scots' settlers on Mars

Giant Meteorite may indicate 'Scots' settlers on Mars

A much documented Meteorite's course towards Earth ,may evidence Scottish Life on Mars or even Uranus. 'Scots have roots everywhere, including Outer Space', says Professor Hamish McFleming, Edinburgh. 'Yes, one could argue the Meteorite is Mart...
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Funny story: Invention Makes Transporter Beams Possible

Invention Makes Transporter Beams Possible

An invention has made it possible to make a sheep disappear and appear again 2mm away from its original position. The invention only works with live sheep which sometimes have to be killed when it messes up. The invention will be on sale in time f...
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Funny story: Bush Twins 'shagged the White House janitor' says Jenna Hager

Bush Twins 'shagged the White House janitor' says Jenna Hager

Washington AC/DC - "And next thing you know the guy's suddenly President," Dubya's daughter said today, "one helluva career move considering he used to mop the White House floor." Jenna Bush Hager and her twin Barbara were appearing on Wednesday n...
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Funny story: Who Bought Hitler's Holiday Island?

Who Bought Hitler's Holiday Island?

Adolf Hitler's Nazi holiday paradise - the Colossus of Prora - is to be turned into a luxury resort, with a seven-star high-end hotel and surrounding opulent villas with their own indoor swimming pools. However, it will be privately owned and private...
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Funny story: Nobel Peace Prize

Nobel Peace Prize

Milton Jones, of Mobile, Alabama, has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. The diminutive 72 year-old man has seemingly distilled all the tenets of all the religions of the world to just three words. This is significant when you consider the amo...
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Funny story: German Luxury Car Makers Form A-HOLE Joint Venture for Self-Driving Vehicles

German Luxury Car Makers Form A-HOLE Joint Venture for Self-Driving Vehicles

GERMANY - Leading luxury car manufacturers from Germany today announced they have formed a joint venture for the development of self-driving vehicles for the U.S. market. The Autonomous Hands-Off Luxury Engineering (A-HOLE) Group promises an ult...
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Funny story: OMG, Monica Lewinsky and Glooble's Larry Page are birth twins, Hillary their feckless Mom

OMG, Monica Lewinsky and Glooble's Larry Page are birth twins, Hillary their feckless Mom

Washington AC/DC - There was shock in Capitol Hill today as a Congressional Committee with oversight of Cold War cover-ups screwed up badly in the hysterical - ah, historical! - DNA department handling so called US presidential cold sperm files.
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Funny story: Queen Mother Beat Me Every Day - Royal Memoirs Book Sensation

Queen Mother Beat Me Every Day - Royal Memoirs Book Sensation

An ex-kitchen servant has told of daily beatings by the gin soaked Queen mother at Balmoral, the Royal Family's private super palace. The maid, Eileen Over is writing the story of her traumatic time as a kitchen maid at the Scottish palace. Beatin...
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Funny story: Angelina Joile Goes Down With A Dose Of The Pox

Angelina Joile Goes Down With A Dose Of The Pox

Los Angeles - Doctors at Hollywood's Seedy Sign Eye Hospital have diagnosed a dose of the Pox behind Ms's Jolie's abrupt withdrawal from Monday's premiere of her movie Unhinged. The actress, 69, began sprouting pustules of the contagious disease f...
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Funny story: Comet 67P Churyumov-Gerasimenko 'is part of Martian crematorium' says NASA

Comet 67P Churyumov-Gerasimenko 'is part of Martian crematorium' says NASA

Pasadena, California - Scientists studying new imagery from the crashed Rosetta probe have described Comet 67P as an enormous chunk of artificial masonry, part of the legendary - and exclusive! - Royal Martian Crematorium, a sort of ancient alien Cre...
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Funny story: Bwahaha! Falling oil prices send Russian oligarchs cap-in-hand to Wonga

Bwahaha! Falling oil prices send Russian oligarchs cap-in-hand to Wonga

Hole in the Wall Street, Moscow - Usury is thriving once again in Moscow's financial district with payday lenders shamelessly jacking up their base rates as a surge of cash-strapped oligarchs comes a-begging following a plunge on the global price of...
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Funny story: Now You can Sell your Vote!

Now You can Sell your Vote!

WASHINGTON. VOTES FOR SALE by order of Congress. Yes folks, it's finally here, on the back of the 1997 North Carolina ground breaking voluntary sterilization for women called "Project Prevention" that invited young women to have themselves sterilized...
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Funny story: Can Jeb Bush, "Romney Lite," Be The GOP Nominee?

Can Jeb Bush, "Romney Lite," Be The GOP Nominee?

Jeb Bush, the former Governor of Florida and George's brother, yesterday visited John McCain. According to an aide, who did not want his name made public, Bush asked McCain how he could run for President without pandering to the party's ultra conser...
View 'Can Jeb Bush, "Romney Lite," Be The GOP Nominee?'
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